by Cheek, Jason
“The fuck is that?” Julie asked, as she took a moment to process that tidbit of information, before she blew her stack. “What the fuck are they paying that Admin for if they aren’t telling us shit we need to know like this?”
“I know, right?” Sandra agreed, letting out a sigh of relief. “The whole plan would’ve worked like a charm even with your ex-boyfriend’s misdirection-“
“But nearly everyone was already dead when you showed up,” Julie finished her friend’s thought.
“Not only dead,” Sandra said, “locked out for twenty-four hours.”
“This is such bullshit!” Julie snarled as she got up to pace back and forth. “I swear, I’m going to read that asshole the mother fucking riot act.”
“Shit,” Julie said, as it dawned on her, “that means Jay’s going to possibly be arriving at Darom by tomorrow night.”
“I doubt that,” Sandra said, shaking her head. “He took off out of Domenic’s valley heading northeast and then headed to Palnisdale.”
“Ha!” Julie stopped her pacing, as she gave her girlfriend a triumphant look. Pulling up the other office chair, she excitedly sat down across from her roommate. “Those Orcs must’ve handed him his ass. You’ve gotta give me every detail of how it went down.” Before Sandra could say anything, Julie pressed her back into the chair.
“Wait, I need popcorn for this.” She was just about to rush out of the room, when she noticed the ill look on Sandra’s face. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“Yeah, that whole Orc Alliance thing,” Sandra angrily snarled. “It was a complete no-go.”
“If you fucked up the alliance that I’ve been working on since day one,” Julie demanded to know, as her eyes flashed dangerously. “I swear I’m going to-”
Instead of finishing whatever she was going to say, Julie sat back in a huff as she pressed her hand to her eyes and did her best to calm down. Even if Sandra had fucked this to all hell and back, maybe the alliance could still be saved. Pressing her fingertips to her forehead, she glared at her friend.
“How did you guys fuck this up?” Julie demanded, stabbing her fingers at Sandra like she was an idiot. “I mean, common on. Did you guys not yell out yani or something?”
“Yeah, about that word yani,” Sandra angrily sneered at her friend, “found out the translation for what that meant when I met the Orcs.”
“If you didn’t fuck that up,” Julie exclaimed, as she angrily sat back in her chair, “then what the fuck happened.”
“Yani means sex slave,” Sandra said, completely ignoring her roommates comment.
Julie went to lash out at her friend, when what she said sunk into her consciousness. Her mouth opened and closed without saying anything as she tried to come up with some reasonable argument to blame her girlfriend but nothing came to mind. Throwing her hands up into the air, she gave Sandra a helpless look.
“Then why the fuck do we have a completed quest that says we have an alliance with the Orcs,” Julie exclaimed in frustration.
“Yeah,” Sandra said, “got the answer to that too.” Seeing that she had Julie’s attention, she looked her in the eyes. “Did you ask what kind of allies we were? Did you demand anything like equal treatment or anything like that?”
“What the hell else does being an ally possibly mean?” Julie asked, making a duh face.
“That’s the problem,” Sandra shouted in Julie’s face, “You’re either a yani,” she did air quotes, “aka sex slave. Or, your grug.”
“What’s grug?” Julie asked, wincing at her friend’s attitude.
“Food, Julie,” Sandra said, giving her the duh look. “It means food. That’s the only kinds of allies that humanoids can be with Orcs.” Seeing Julie’s face soften, Sandra held up her hand. “And no, I don’t want to talk about it.”
They sat staring at each other for a long moment as each of them worked out their issues internally. If the horde was really as large as Kug had promised, than Sandra must have went through a hell of a fight. She didn’t blame her for being tricked by Jay. Honestly, it sounded like she had him on the run until the snafu with the Orcs. Looking back up at her girlfriend, Julie simply held out her arms as the two of them hugged.
“I’m sorry for blaming you for all of that,” Julie murmured, as she stroked Sandra’s head. “I just wanted to be able to pay that asshole back for breaking it off with me.”
“It’s not your fault,” Sandra said, calming down somewhat as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “Besides, we slaughtered a crap-ton of the assholes.”
“Do you have any clue where Starfairy ended up after that?” Julie asked, as they both chuckled at the nickname.
“Probably Palnisdale,” Sandra said with a shrug. “Are there really any other passes before that?”
“Palnisdale?” Julie asked, as she sat back in her seat and let out a giggle.
“Oh, yeah,” Sandra said, as a grin came to her lips. “I bet Grimblood DeKhayed will be happy to see him.” They both laughed at that.
“Feel like making up some pasta while I take a shower?” Julie asked, jumping to her feet as she pulled Sandra up with her. “Please.”
“Only if you make the garlic bread,” Sandra said, knowing that she couldn’t say no to Julie’s puppy dog eyes.
“Okay, I’ll be out in a jiffy.”