by A. M. Brooks
Acknowledgments
Playlist
Dedication
Prologue
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Epilogue
More from A.M. Brooks
My Husband- Thank you for stepping up to care for our littles when I need time in the cave. For never making me feel bad about chasing this dream. For being the best human possible and saying the right things when I’m freaking out.
My Family- Thank you for continuing to be supportive and cheering me on. I love running my ideas past you. Special shout out to my brother….our relationship and your personality really drove me to create the best dynamic in this book. It was emotional inspiration.
Kiki and Colleen- The Next Step PR -Thank you for your hard work, dedication, and guidance. Book three and I would still be lost without your check-ins, lists, calendars and reminders. I’m getting there, I promise!
Ellie- My Brother’s Editor- ….I’m so sorry that you have to deal with my grammar and messy draft versions. Thank you for making my words beautiful.
Cassy - Pink Ink Designs- For taking the time to pull together my vision, then the second vision, and working with me thru it all. The cover is hot!
My Beta readers- Thank you for your positivity and willingness to critique if needed. Again, I appreciate your time and putting yourselves out there with ideas, teasers, and changes. The extra pairs of eyes is so helpful!
My Readers- Thank you for your purchase. It is because of you that I can continue to write and live my dream. I hope you enjoy Blaise and Jay’s story as much as I did while writing it.
The Sound of Silence- Disturbed
Smells Like Teen Spirit- Nirvana
Scar Tissue- Red Hot Chili Peppers
All Apologies- Nirvana
Blurry- Puddle of Mud
The Unforgiven- Metallica
Sex on Fire- Kings of Leon
Chop Suey!- System Of A Down
Kryptonite- 3 Doors Down
Rollin’ (Air Raid Vehicle)- Limp Bizkit
The Pretender- Foo Fighters
Bodies- Drowning Pool
Down with the Sickness- Disturbed
Are you Ready- Disturbed
Bawitdaba- Kid Rock
Debonair- Dope
Broken- Seether feat. Amy Lee
Only God Knows Why- Kid Rock
Comedown- Bush
Cowboy- Kid Rock
Hemorrhage (In My Hands)- Fuel
She Talks to Angels- The Black Crowes
Cocky- Kid Rock
Let Me Live/Let Me Die- Des Rocs
Never Too late- Three Days Grace
Devil Without a Cause- Kid Rock
Best of You- Foo Fighters
Coming apart- Red
Headstrong- Trapt
I Hate Everything About You- Three Days Grace
Far Behind- Candlebox
Secret Garden- Bruce Springsteen
Butterfly- Crazy Town
Hanging By A Moment- Lifehouse
Shine- Collective Soul
When I’m Gone- 3 Doors Down
Click Click Boom- Saliva
Hear You Me- Jimmy Eat World
Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked- Cage The Elephant
The World I know- Collective Soul
In The Shadow Of The Valley Of Death- Marilyn Manson
Angels Fall – Breaking Benjamin
Lost Boy- Ruth B.
Demons- Imagine Dragons
Spotify Playlist:
https://open.spotify.com/user/ashtonbm8/playlist/5gf7WjWzaJPIXuo4D5D40f?si=zH822TyWSIq_qMevYVkR1A
Where Demons Hide
By A.M. Brooks
Copyright © 2019 A.M. Brooks
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. This book is a work of fiction. Names and characters are the product of the author’s imagination. Thank you for respecting the hard work and creativity of this author.
Note: This story may not be suitable for persons under the age of 18.
Cover and Formatting: Cassy- Pink Ink Designs
Editing: Ellie- My Brother’s Editor
Proof Reading: Athena and Darlene- Lit Up PR
Brothers and Sisters.
The brothers who annoy their sisters.
The sisters who mother their brothers.
The brothers who protect.
The sisters who shelter.
The brothers who know her secrets.
The sisters who hold his hands during hard times.
The grief, the feuds, the secrets, the joys, and the love that holds us together no matter the distance we live or the age we grow old to. It’s a relationship like no other.
I don’t usually do this. I have never felt this out of control or this in tune with another person before. Correction, a stranger before. I’m not the girl that has one-night stands. Hell, I’ve only had sex with one person and that was when I lost my virginity in my junior year of high school. This just isn’t me. When I walked into this rundown, hole-in-the-wall dive bar three hours ago, underage, mind you. This was not how I pictured things going. My fake ID got me the drinks I needed and the buzz I chased. The wannabe fraternity boys at the pool table were the distraction I wanted. I don’t know what it is, but something about a girl without a shine in her eyes and a bitch attitude drives boys wild. They want what they think they can’t have. And they definitely couldn’t have me.
When he walked in, the energy in the goddamn room changed. The tiny hairs on my arms stood up. A burn of awareness slid down my spine, sending warmth flowing through my muscles. It was the warmest I’d been all day after standing in the rain for hours. He had my attention when his huge body pressed against mine as I leaned against the bar like I owned the place. Whether he could sense the storm inside me or feel the numbness rolling off my skin, I’ll never know. I was drawn to him, and he was pulling me along for the ride.
“Come with me.” Three words spoken in a deep east coast accent and I was shaken. A command that spoke to my soul and I would follow wherever. Including down the dark hallway and right inside the women’s restroom.
No talking, no foreplay, just a rip of a condom wrapper before he grips my ass and hauls me up against his body, pinning me to the wall with his hips. I welcomed the ache, the burn, the sensation of being too full that it’s almost painful. My black dress is bunched around my hips. His eyes, the deepest brown I had ever seen with eyelashes any girl would envy, search mine. Asking too many things and reading too many secrets. His mouth swoops down, molding his lips on mine, possessive and dangerous. His tongue pries my lips apart to tangle with my own. Fucking my mouth like it wasn’t the first time I’d ever tasted him. I was definitely doing this. My arms held around his shoulders tighter with each deep thrust of his body into mine. I could feel every impact of my shoulder blades colliding with the hard wall and I didn’t care. I would probably have scratch marks there afterward and I gave zero fucks. It was dirty and raw. All that mattered to me was the way his fingers gripped my waist, pushing me higher up the wall before he used his mouth to pull the collar of my dress down. Sharp teeth clamped down on my lace covered nipple causing me to cry out.
“Let go,” his voice whispered against my lips as he drew back to look at me. Our eyes colliding at
the same time as he pushes me over the edge. I feel my body fall apart and melt against that wall. My heart cracks open, letting tidal waves of emotion spring free. My orgasm runs through me, making my legs shake and toes curl. I had no words for how he made me feel.
It was the first time I’d felt anything all day… the first time I’d experienced any emotion in the weeks since the accident. This stranger gave me more than a mind-blowing orgasm. He gave me a way to forget I’d just buried the only family I had… my brother.
People say the loneliest number is one. When you have been part of a two your whole life, that statement is cold and desolate. I was alone. A one. I had to be strong on my own and fight by myself. After that night, the night of the funeral, I went home, balled myself up in the bottom of the shower and released all the pain that had been eating my insides for over a week. I was no longer numb. That was three months ago. I fought all summer long to bottle down the loneliness. I knew I had to keep living. Blake would have wanted that for me.
With the summer almost over, I had finally got to the point where I can hold a conversation if absolutely needed, my lips would crack into a smile. What I could not stand was one more person asking me how I was doing. I was going to punch someone in the face if that continued. I worked full time at Señor Loco to fill the void and to help make rent. It also forced me to be social and find my new normal. Something I really hated and attempted to avoid at all costs. No matter how nice I could be, there was always someone who didn’t seem to know how to filter their thoughts from their brain to their mouth. Seriously! Did this chick just ask me if she could look through Blake’s things for her shirt?
“Your shirt is not there. I promise.” Was all I could grit out to her stupid fake blonde bimbo face. Kinley Adams had been the Queen Bitch at the high school back in the day. Head cheerleader, student council, you name it, she was probably the head of it. She was beautiful in the made-up, plastic-looking way. Her family had also been from money and bought her everything she wanted. The only thing she had not been able to obtain had been respect from my brother or his group of friends.
“Well, is there any way it could have been misplaced? I know I left it there, and this was like back before senior prom. It’s from the Nickelback concert.” Her voice whined while she sat sipping her strawberry daiquiri through a straw.
“Again, I assure you it was not in his room.” I take a deep breath and start counting in my head three, two, one…
“Like oh my god, Blaise, can you just look again? It was a really big deal to him to buy me that shi—”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I spit out, slamming down the glass mug I had been holding, sloshing beer all over my hand. “Blake hated Nickelback. He never would have bought you tickets, let alone stood in line to buy their damn t-shirt! I cleaned his room myself. No t-shirt. Besides, fucking whores from Chaparral was not really his thing.” I was breathing heavily now. I knew my face was red, tears pricked the edges of my eyes. My fist tightens around the glass as I was imagining it to be her skinny, pale neck.
“Palmer, take five, will ya,” Luis shot at me stepping out from his side office. He must have finally realized where this whole conversation was going. Kinley on a stretcher.
“Yeah, whatever,” I muttered as I push my way past him out the back through the side door. I needed air. I needed to get out of this bar. Too bad I still had six hours left to go in my shift. This day was getting worse by the minute. I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling chilled despite the desert heat. I was tired of people wanting to ask for Blake’s stuff or if Blake had any of their stuff. Some of these pretenders didn’t even know him except for occasionally running into him at a party or at The Scar.
Gathering my long black hair off my neck, I paced around the back parking lot, breathing deeply and letting the tension roll off me. Nothing has been the same. I was left all alone. The guys started flaking off. True, I didn’t answer their phone calls, but I was pissed. We were supposed to be a family. When one of your own dies, you stick around a lot longer than till after the funeral. Except if you’re Seth, because he didn’t even bother to show up at all. I get it, Seth and Blake were tight, but so were Blake and I. We shared more than the same DNA. Even though we were three years apart in age, Blake had raised me when the woman we call mom couldn’t. Our sperm donor hadn’t stuck around long enough for me to know him or for Blake to even know how to say the word dad. I hadn’t even bothered to find him to let him know about the funeral. It had always been just Blake and me. Now it was just me. I had no idea what I was doing half the time. I felt like I was sinking. It was time to decide what I wanted to do for the rest of my life and I was avoiding it.
“Palmer, I said five minutes, not a lunch break,” Luis yelled out the door. “You have company, don’t take long. April just sat you a three top by the bar.”
“Yes, sir.” I saluted to him as I whisked back inside.
I generally like Luis for the most part. He was gruff at forty-five and looked like he had the body of a teddy bear. I didn’t like to piss him off. He gave me a job when I wanted to help Blake make our rent so we could stay in Nevada. In the past, Luis had often turned his head the other way if I stole a can of tomatoes and didn’t ask questions when we would take off to Las Vegas once a month. During that time, Blake and the guys would work at the hotels as any type of help that was needed. Many times I went with, even when I got to the age where I could stay behind if I had wanted. The guys never made me feel awkward about being the little sister. I had been adopted by all of them. Too bad that courtesy didn’t last past identifying Blake’s body at the morgue.
Sergeant Ramirez was waiting for me at the bar when I got back inside. Normally a uniformed cop in a bar would make visitors nervous, but locals never had a problem with it. I shook my head. Even Ramirez had managed to check on me more than the guys had in the past three months. At first, it had been every day, which was annoying. Now his visits were weekly, and I looked forward to seeing him. Mostly I just liked to push his buttons. Some habits never die.
“What’s hot today, Sarge?” I asked him in my overly sweet waitress voice.
“Seriously?” he asked, rolling his eyes at my question. It was obvious he noted the sarcasm in my voice. I tipped my head to the side, watching him, not apologizing and just waiting for him to continue.
“I received a call from Seth this morning.” His eyes narrowed slightly as he looked at me. “I was wondering if he contacted you like he said he was going to.”
“I haven’t heard from the kid in months, Sarge,” I say, shrugging my shoulders. “I don’t even know if I could talk to him without reaching through the phone to strangle him.” The other guys pulling away irritated me but I could handle it. Not Seth, though. He was different. He had been my best friend, too. My first kiss, my first love, my first everything, and he bailed.
Sarge looked down at the counter, his brow furrowed in thought, not even batting an eye at my empty death threats. “Something sounded off with him,” he said worriedly. “That’s why I’m asking. I’m sure it’s nothing. He just sounded… flat.” His warm gaze lifted back to me.
I look away. “Well, apparently he is very devastated by what happened to Blake.” Again the sarcasm leaked into my voice. Sarge looked at me a little softer now. He knew how I felt about the guys all ditching out after the funeral. “Look, not to be rude, but I have a table and it’s almost the lunch rush, so…”
“Yeah, I’m heading out,” he said, raising his hands in surrender. “One more thing, Pricilla wants you to stop by for dinner tomorrow evening. She said she would make your favorite. Plus, Katy and Nico are wanting to see you again.”
“Sure,” I replied even though I did not want to be social. I went out of my way to avoid people as much as I could. Pricilla was hard to say no to. Plus, if I didn’t go, it’d be just another night eating a PB&J at home by myself.
“Bueno, I’ll let her know. If you hear from Seth, try and see where he is. Like I
said, he sounded… different.” Worry was etched in the deep lines on his face.
“Got it.” I waved him off.
“Adios,” he answered before slipping out the door, back into the bright Nevada sun. One look at the clock let me know I still had five long hours to go in my shift. I didn’t want to be worried about Seth. He made his bed and now he had to lie in it. Instead, I pasted on a smile and embraced the sugary waitress voice, as I headed to my new tables.
I imagined Blake sitting at the far corner of the bar next to the pool tables like he always did. He would be smiling if he was here, probably chatting up one of the regulars or a pretty girl from out of town. I’d put in an order of mozzarella sticks for him because he was always hungry and I wouldn’t want him to fill up on just beer. He had to be sober enough to drive me home. Luis would come out and give him a hard time about being a permanent fixture and if he wanted a job here, too. I can still hear Blake’s laugh, the rumble that comes from deep in the chest. Heartfelt and real. Other people would smile just because he sounded like he was having a good time. And, he would really laugh at Luis’ suggestion. He’d make it up later though by inviting his never-ending parade of friends to join him creating more business for Señor Locos. Blake never ran out of friends. He was naturally someone people were drawn to; someone people could trust. He worked hard at any odd job he could. He even had time to fit in a few credits at the community college. Something I hadn’t known about until after his death. Guilt had plagued me for days. My brother had been running all over the place working, going to school, and taking care of me. It hit me hard that it probably had been too much on him. That he most likely was exhausted, stretched thin; that his body had given up, and that tree had been collateral damage.
My fingers curl around the edge of the tray I’m carrying. My lungs fight to work because, for a second, just a small amount of time when I look at that corner, I can still picture him there. Still being my hero. Watching and smiling.