by A. M. Brooks
“What do I do?” I whisper into the darkness. I imagine he would study my face, taking in all my emotions. He would saunter over to the bed and lay down next to me. Kiss my head and say, We’ll do it together. It’s taken care of. We don’t give up.
“Are you going to pick up that order or just watch the fries burn?” Luis asks as he pushes the food order toward me.
“Sorry,” I mumble and hoist the tray over my shoulder.
Luis’ normal stern face softens a bit as I turn to go. The night was busy at Señor Loco. The door revolving since I started my shift at five. I sailed by barely noticing anyone around me. Pretty sure the last table stiffed me on my tip due to my less than warm demeanor. In my defense, my mind was preoccupied thinking about the conversation with Sarge the other night after dinner. It had been a few days since, and I was losing my mind. I constantly felt on edge and was overthinking everything people said to me waiting for this Irish prophet.
I was driving myself crazy and I knew I probably was on Luis’ last nerve, too. He kept me busy tonight behind the bar and running food during downtimes. I was grateful to him for that.
“Two more Dos Equis please, Blaise,” Jenna says, loud enough to clear my haze.
“Coming,” I answer, grabbing the bottles and twisting the caps off before handing them to her.
“Thanks lovely! Oh, I heard your boys will be in town tomorrow night,” she says, giving me a slight wiggle with her perfectly shaped eyebrows.
“Who told you that?” I ask, sounding a little defensive.
“Joey called me last night. I think he wants to start things up again,” she replies, sounding less than enthusiastic and I can tell she was trying to read my reaction.
“Yeah.” I looked at her straight on. “Does he have a shot?” I knew Jenna and Joey were hot and heavy during our senior year. It was a big deal then because Joey had already graduated and everyone thought he was sticking around for Jenna. She received a lot of attention for this and not always the good kind. I also knew Stone continuously gave Joey shit about being ‘wifed up’.
“Fuck no,” she replies, pushing her long blonde braid over her shoulder. “He broke up with me right before summer so he could ‘pursue his career’. They fucking went to Vegas for the summer and you know he only wanted to be single. Besides, I’m kinda crushing on Logan right now.” She smiles mischievously before walking away to deliver her table’s beers.
I smirk. Joey was going to be so pissed to learn Jenna had a thing for Logan. He had been after her since freshman year and they were always just friends. If the guys were coming back tomorrow, things were going to get interesting again. I’d be lying to myself if I said I wasn’t a little excited. I really needed a distraction. I probably just needed to get really drunk.
“Ooh, never mind Logan, I’ll take the customer at table seventeen,” Jenna says, returning to the bar and pointing to her booth across the restaurant.
All I could see was what looked like a pretty solid shoulder covered by a tight black t-shirt. A muscled, bronze arm resting on the table, and a partial head of black hair poking out from behind the pillar. I shrug my shoulders at her and give her a wink for encouragement. Not that she needs it. Jenna is a master flirt. Laughing, she sauntered over to her new customer.
Talking with Jenna helped the night go by a little smoother. Some of the tension left my shoulders and my mind felt lighter. At least I wasn’t pissing off Luis anymore. Behind the bar, I find it is easier to forget what’s going on in my head. Every part of me was consumed with remembering tabs and ingredients. A few strawberry daiquiris, Dos Equis, cranberry vodkas, and Bud Lights later, my shift is almost over. In between her tables, Jenna would give me reports on her customer that she described as ‘sex-on-a-stick’, or ‘if a love child between Wentworth Miller and Jack Gilinsky could happen’. Sadly, I haven’t had an opportunity to confirm or deny her claims. All the other waitresses were in agreement with her though. Everyone was trying to sneak a peek at the visitor, making extra trips to my bar in order to walk past his booth.
I was determined to believe that men were probably not what I should be concerned with right now anyway. The few I have trusted in my life were not in my good graces lately. Besides, I had enough personal shit to deal with, I wouldn’t even consider myself a good catch right now.
Looks-wise I was fine, but nothing substantial. Medium height, long black hair, a slightly curvy figure, not the reed-thin model types usually walking around the Vegas area, and my C-cup chest was indeed real. Blake had always told me I looked extraordinary because of my eyes. We shared the same icy blue hue outlined by a teal that couldn’t be considered green or hazel. Unique, is how Seth described them the first time he tried to pay me a compliment. Blake, on the other hand, used these eyes to his advantage. Girls always seemed to go crazy over them. He never could understand why I usually downplayed my eyes by using dark eyeliner, deepening the color so they didn’t pop out at anyone.
In all honesty, I thought the color was too intense and if anyone looked too long, then it would feel as if they were reading me. Crazy as the notion was, I took notice several times that the guys couldn’t hold my gaze for long; proving me right. Yup, personal shit to deal with.
“Jenna, what are you doing tonight?” I ask her without thinking. Judging from the freaked out look on her face, I could tell it had been a while since I had reached out to her for anything besides work.
“Seriously?” she asked, her mouth opening in surprise.
“Oh my god. Never mind, if you’re going to act all weird about it,” I say, rolling my eyes. Stupid plan to step out of my bubble anyway.
“Blaise, I have been asking you to do things for months and you always turn me down to go home and sleep. I know you’re dealing with shit and I haven’t pressed, but I stopped asking because I just assumed you didn’t care anymore,” Jenna said quietly.
I guess I may have been a shittier friend than I thought. When the guys left, I took it too much to heart that I forgot about Jenna. Unlike my ex-friends, Zoe and Tara, who left for college without a word to me. Jenna was here and she was right, she did check on me. I didn’t like the guilt that was flowing in my stomach even if I didn’t feel like I owed anyone an explanation for my behavior.
“I screwed up,” I tell her, biting my lip. “I’m screwed up. If there is anything going on tonight, I would like to go with you guys.” That was as close to an apology as I could manage right now.
“Well, Aubree and Molly are coming, too. Will that be okay or is it too many people for you?” She gives me a pointed look with her eyebrows arched again. She must practice that.
Apparently, I haven’t been as transparent with her as I thought I had been. Until a few months ago, being in large crowds would give me panicky chills. I also didn’t go out of my way to meet people who could leave after I had gotten to know them. Which is why I barely knew the two new additions to Señor Loco’s serving team.
“Yeah, that’s fine. They seem decent,” I reply, keeping my eyes on the mug I was drying and hoping my hands don’t shake.
“Whatever, Blaise.” I could hear the eye roll in her voice. “Anyway, new order for ya. Hottie McHotterson would like a Jameson on the rocks, please.”
Now, it was my turn to raise my eyebrows at her. Rarely did anyone order straight liquor around here unless it was a shot of tequila.
“I know,” she says, her smile growing bigger like the Cheshire Cat. “He wanted a Guinness, but we don’t sell that here so he settled for the whiskey.”
I stopped mid-scoop of ice in the glass. Guinness… Jameson… Irish beer, Irish Whiskey, Sarge’s words play over in my head like a broken record. This was all either a coincidence or else I had just heard my Irish calling. My head snaps up, my eyes zeroing on her table. As if he knows I’m looking for him, his forearm tightens, veins and muscles ripple under the skin.
“Blaise?” Jenna asks, looking at me like I’ve grown two heads. I was too busy concentrating on he
r customer to answer. That stupid pillar was in the way and I wanted to see more of him. Something felt familiar, the longer I stared, until a small tidal wave of heat was growing in my chest.
“Here,” I say, feeling uneasy, handing her his whiskey on the rocks. She eyes me before walking away heading to his table. Drying a glass, I watch Jenna approach him. She sets her hand on her hip and smiles when she sets the glass down, lingering longer than normal. He asks her something, and she chats away in response. I was being ridiculous, practically stalking them. I really need to have another conversation with Sarge about this before it totally interrupts my life. Before I do something like go over and ask him if he was sent to deliver a cryptic message for me. That wouldn’t seem crazy at all.
Looking back at the table, I see him getting up to leave. A black leather jacket setting across his broad back. He was tall. I was average height and from this distance, he looked like he was at least a foot taller than me.
“Shit!” Jenna says under her breath. “I hope he paid, I never brought him his bill.” She hurries away from the bar back to his table, her tray sloshing freshly poured beer as she goes. Without hesitating, I round the bar to follow after Mr. Tall, Mysterious, and possible Bill Skipper. He didn’t get far out of the door before I catch up to him in the parking lot.
“Hey!” I shout to his retreating back. He stops automatically. “Did you forget something back there?” I ask. His bill, or to deliver a message to me, I wasn’t sure which I was referring to. I watch in fascination when he turns to face me. Time seems to go in slow motion. My gaze flies over his dark washed jeans and the tight black shirt that’s pulled tight against his chest. I greedily take in the dark, five o’clock shadow around his square cut jaw and full pink lips, before traveling upward to meet his eyes.
The second our gazes lock, recognition rockets through my brain. I was looking into the deepest, rich, brown gaze I have only ever seen once before. I quickly look down at my feet breaking eye contact. My face burns bright red with embarrassment and I’m suddenly thankful for the dimness of the parking lot. Memories from that night flood in. The pain, the funeral, the emptiness, and finally the stranger who had made me feel whole and protected while he fucked me against a bathroom wall.
“Blaise!” Jenna yells from the door. “It’s okay, it was on the table.” I turn to her and give her a sharp nod. A deep laugh comes from the man behind me. I turn back to face him again, my face completely red now, I’m sure. I can’t believe I chased him out here and was about to accuse him of walking out on his bill.
“Sorry,” I mumble, not able to look at his face. I start to back up and head back into the restaurant, anxious to be away from him.
“I would never walk out on my tab,” he tells me. His smooth voice sends ripples of awareness across my chest. It’s achingly familiar, and that accent is still as sexy as it was back then.
“She wasn’t sure,” I answer back, wringing the towel in my hands. “We don’t get many people from out of town here.” The excuse sounds lame even to me, but I hope he buys it. Frickin’ Jenna should have checked first. No, I should have waited for her to confirm before chasing after him.
“That’s understandable,” he says, his voice holds humor in it like he can see right through me.
“Okay, well… have a good night,” I tell him, taking a few more steps back to safety. I need to be back in the bar and far away from him. I remember him, but there was no recognition in his eyes when he looks at me. He was probably a wreck that night and drunk out of his mind to have sex with a random girl in a bar. Especially when that girl had looked like a cold, crying, drowned mess.
I almost reach the door when his next words stop me in my tracks. “I’m here for you, Blaise.”
My eyes close and I make my body turn back around to face him. “Irish?” I ask, not believing this is real. Fate had to be messing with me right now.
“Just a joke.” His massive shoulders shrug. “Makes it easier for introductions and it’s more fun.” A crooked grin plays on his lips. At least one of us thinks this is funny.
“Okay,” I say. I’m not sure where this is all going or why this all seems so intense and secretive. “So you have information about my brother?” I ask, getting straight to the point. I was done playing the game. His game, Sarge’s game, Seth’s game, Blake’s game. I was just done.
He stalks closer to me, my head tilts back to hold eye contact, “We’re getting an audience, do you work tomorrow?” he asks, lowering his voice. He’s so close I can smell the spearmint gum hidden in his cheek mixing with the whiskey he drank.
I should be disturbed by his nearness. I should back up into my own bubble again. Unfortunately, my brain and my body has decided to take a vacation from one another. I don’t want him to know my schedule and think he can start showing up at my work, but the words “At four,” fall out of my mouth anyway.
“Good,” he says, still grinning at me with those dark, piercing eyes hiding secrets. “I’m working at Sergeant Ramirez’s ranch in the morning. Drop by and we can talk more.” It isn’t a question, more like a command and my stupid head nods in agreement anyway. Without looking back, he turns and walks away.
“Don’t you want to know if Seth has contacted me?” I ask, folding my arms across my chest waiting for his reaction.
“Blaise, that question just told me he hasn’t. If he does, ask him where he is.” Leaving me speechless, I watch Mr. Mysterious get in his black truck and peel out of my parking lot. A small dust cloud forms in his wake.
I’m completely overwhelmed when I head back in and sure enough, Jenna and Luis are guarding the door.
“What did McHottie say?” Jenna pounces the minute I step inside. At least my one and only fling had been drop dead gorgeous. It irked me though that he didn’t remember me and now he had secretive information about my brother.
“He was upset I accused him of skipping out,” I lie.
“Oh,” she says. “I hope you didn’t put him off of coming here again, Blaise, you can be kind of brassy sometimes.”
“Brassy?” I ask, narrowing my eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she says, shaking her head and smiling. “It’s true though. I think you scare Luis sometimes even.”
“It’s fine. I have my moments. I think he’ll be back though,” I say, giving her a little wink. If something serious was going on, I didn’t want to be tied to him. Better to let her think he would come back to see her. Too bad for Logan.
“Oh, the party got moved to tomorrow night now. I guess Marco heard Toni would be back and decided to wait for them.” Jenna shrugs her shoulders. I already forgot I had agreed to go to the party.
I smile at her, hiding my annoyance with myself. “Okay, sounds good.”
By the end of the night, I’m thankful to be able to crawl into my bed instead. My body hurts from carrying trays and my brain was exhausted from trying to piece together this game I landed myself in. I fall asleep still contemplating if I should reach out to Seth or if that would be bad for myself. There were too many pieces that weren’t lining up. I didn’t know who to trust. Someone was underestimating me, I could feel it.
My eyes fly open, my heart is hammering in my chest as I’m startled awake. I quickly look around my room from the cocoon of my blankets. Something woke me up. My skin feels tingly as gooseflesh works its way over my arms. Holding my breath, I listen. Did my mom come home or was someone trying to break in? Six a.m shines brightly on the clock from my nightstand. I hunch farther back in my covers, waiting.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
I throw my blankets off and face my window. A shadow outlined by the early morning sky greets me. I inch closer, feeling uncertain, my breath grows shallow as I move closer to the curtain.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Jerking the curtains apart, I’m surprised to see Joey laughing at me. “What the hell?” I ask, opening my window.
“I’m sorry,” he gasps between laughs. “Your face though!”
; “Yeah, yeah.” I move to shut the window. It was too damn early to deal with this shit.
His hand shoots out. “I’m sorry, Blaise. You just looked so freaked out. Were you expecting someone?”
“Yeah, I was expecting someone at six in the morning, Chuckles. What are you doing here?” I ask, folding my arms over my chest as I sit at my desk chair. Seth’s face flashes in my mind. Joey is already moving his stocky body through my window before sitting across from me on the bed.
“Geez, Toni said you were upset, but I didn’t realize it was this bad,” he says, watching me intently.
I look away from his blue gaze. My eyes sting from the emotion in my chest. “I’m fine,” I tell him. “Back to my question, why are you here at six in the morning? This little pep talk couldn’t wait till decent hours?” I ask. I’m beyond curious and I hate that I’m also excited he clearly came here first before going home. His shirt was wrinkled from a long car ride.
I hear him exhale. “I just wanted to make sure your mom wasn’t around before I came up.”
“Couldn’t use the front door?” I let the sarcasm roll off my tongue, finally turning to look at him. He shrugs, a lopsided smile pulling at his mouth. I frown.
“We’re back in town and just wanted to check up on you. It’s been a minute. Your mom isn’t home anyway,” he states.
“Yeah, well she’s been picking up extra shifts, something about it helping her heal. And, I knew you were coming back. Jenna said she talked to you,” I say, letting my voice sound bored.
“Jenna, aye? Can’t wait to see that hottie tonight.” His grin grows bigger.
“I don’t know, she’s been pretty tight with Logan this summer,” I tell him, watching his smile fade a little before he lets out a high pitched laugh.