by Tara Sue Me
Always, she was confident and secure.
“Your hands feel good,” he said, hoping to reassure her in case she was afraid of how he’d react to her touch.
“Yeah?” she asked, bringing her other hand up to join the first one.
“Mmm, so good.”
“I’m glad.”
He was, too. Though he was also afraid that he was experiencing a dream and would wake up any minute to find himself alone. He lowered his head to brush her lips in a gentle kiss.
“Talk about feeling good,” she whispered. “I like kissing you.”
He kissed her again and once more it struck him that he was in bed, kissing Marie. Marie. The woman he’d wanted for so long was here, in his arms. He smiled against her lips.
“I like doing a whole lot more than kissing you,” he told her. He knew she had to be sore, so he wasn’t going to take it beyond kissing.
“I like that, too.” She dropped her hand to brush his erection and he groaned.
“Fuck, Marie. I’m trying to let you rest. But if you keep that up . . .”
She wrapped her hand around his length. “I don’t need to rest.”
“Aren’t you sore?”
“Yes, but since I’ve wanted this for years, do you really think I’m going to let a little soreness stop me?”
He was so tempted and, though he tried to resist, his resolve fell away with each stroke she gave him.
“You want it, too,” she taunted, knowing the truth of her words because she held the evidence of his desire for her in her hand. “Don’t deny us. Give it to me. Give me this cock again.”
He groaned because he knew he was facing a losing battle. “Marie.”
“Please, Lennox.”
She had shattered his walls—he no longer had any defenses when it came to her. “I don’t have the strength to turn you down anymore.”
“That’s not a bad thing in my opinion.”
“Maybe not,” he said. “But we’re going slow and easy this time.”
“Blah. I’ve never been a fan of slow and easy.” She rolled away from him. “I think I’ll go back to sleep.”
He took her words as a personal challenge and to start, he ran his hand down her back to the crack of her ass. “Roll back over and I promise you’ll never say ‘blah’ to my suggestion of slow and easy again.”
“Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you, Sir?” she asked, but still didn’t roll over.
No, he wasn’t. He was anything but sure. That was the problem when it came to Marie. He cared about her too much, and as a result, he felt like he was always second-guessing everything he did with her. He didn’t remember things being so challenging with Winnie.
But he wasn’t going to think about Winnie right now. He wanted to focus on Marie.
Since she hadn’t rolled over, he peppered kisses along her shoulder blades. He tickled the nape of her neck with his breath and made sure she felt his erection as he pressed himself against her back. He was going to feel like the world’s biggest fool if she didn’t roll over and look at him.
That’s when he noticed her hands gripping the sheets and how white her knuckles were. Her breath was once more becoming choppy and he knew if he slipped a finger between her legs, she’d be wet.
“I’ve decided I don’t want you to turn over, after all,” he whispered in her ear, and he knew she heard the rustling of a condom packet. “I’m going to take you from behind. Lift your leg for me, Marie. Let me make us both feel good.”
She moved her upper leg, barely giving him access.
“That’s the way,” he continued. “Going to fuck that pussy slow, but I’m going to be buried in you so damn deep. Do you want my cock inside you? Fucking you long and slow and hard?”
“Yes,” she whispered so low he could barely hear her.
“Say it louder,” he said. “Tell me you want it, or you get nothing.”
“Yes. I want it,” she spoke louder this time.
He slipped a hand between her legs to make sure she was ready for him. Finding her wet, he lined himself up and slid into her slowly. She moaned in pleasure.
“You like that,” he said. “Like me sliding into you. Filling you up.”
He held still, just to enjoy the moment of being inside her. She pressed her hips back toward him, he took them in his hands and, holding her still, thrust into her completely.
“So deep.” He pulled out and flexed his hips forward, going slow, but knowing he’d hit the spot inside her that drove her wild. He continued, even when she tried to get him to go faster.
He let go of her hips and took her hands in his. “Slow and easy, remember?”
She gave a grunt of displeasure but held still for him. He took her surrender for the gift it was and on his next thrust, he stilled himself within her, then pushed forward, going deeper than ever before.
His reward was her softly muttered cursing, which made him smile. He had her exactly where he wanted her now. He repeated the action several times; each time she reacted the same way.
He bit the back of her neck. “Changing your mind about slow and easy?”
She mewled as he pumped into her again, rocking his hips for maximum penetration. She gasped. “It may be slow, but there’s nothing easy about it. You’re sending my body to critical levels of pleasure.”
He held still. “I can stop.”
“No!” She let go of his hands, reached behind her, and held him to her.
He kissed the spot he’d bitten earlier and picked up where he’d left off.
“Lennox,” she moaned as he lightly brushed her nipple.
“Mmm?” he asked, once more moving lazily within her.
“Don’t ever stop.”
She sounded so lost in bliss, and so sincere, it hurt his heart. “Oh, Marie. You cut me to my very soul.”
When she brought his hands up and kissed them, the tender touch made his chest constrict even more. Somehow they’d gone from Dominant and sub to Lennox and Marie. Somehow their BDSM kink scene turned into making love. He’d lost all control of everything and that should have bothered him. When he took time to think about it later, much, much later, it would bother him.
But for now, this moment, with Marie soft and pliable in his arms, arching against him, wanting and taking whatever he’d give her, he didn’t care. He’d always known it’d be different with Marie, that was part of why he’d stayed away from her so long. One touch, one kiss, one night and it’d be over. He now knew exactly what he wanted and how and who to get it from.
It was a knowledge that saddened him even as he drove them both to the release they craved. A release he wished he could hold back forever, because as she stiffened in his arms and clenched around him in climax, it was bittersweet.
It had been the best night of his life, he knew that, without question. And he also knew it could never, ever happen again. Not with anyone, but especially not with Marie. As much as he hated to do so, the Dominant within him needed to be buried once more.
He inwardly cursed the night that would all too soon turn to day, holding her close as if by doing so, he could keep the sun from rising.
• • •
MARIELA WOKE UP alone the next morning. She told herself she shouldn’t be surprised. In reality, it was what she had expected. But she couldn’t help but feel disappointed that she wasn’t proven wrong. She sighed and wondered if the Lennox waiting for her downstairs would be the same one who had shared a bed with her last night.
She took her time getting dressed and in the bathroom, afraid of what she would find and wanting to postpone it as long as possible. She heard him talking in a low murmur downstairs. He would’ve heard her walking around, so he knew she was up. Unable to postpone the inevitable any longer, she took a deep breath and descended the stairs.
He was talking to someone on the phone. She walked past him and went to the kitchen, surprised to see that he had cooked. There were pancakes and eggs warming on the stove. She felt a brief glim
mer of hope—maybe he would be the same man who’d shared a bed with her last night. She fixed her plate and allowed herself to think it.
“Marie.”
And with that one word, said in that distant tone, all her hopes came crashing down. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and turned to face him. “Good morning, Lennox. I didn’t know you cooked.”
“I’ve been known to do so on occasion.”
She risked a glance at him. He didn’t look as if he had slept at all, with dark circles under his eyes and his shoulders slumped. No, she decided. It was not going to end well.
“Listen,” he said.
She held up her hand. “Sit down. I’m not going to hear this with you standing up looming over me.”
He pulled out a chair from the kitchen table and sat down. She braced herself for what was to come.
“Last night,” he started.
“Was pretty damn amazing,” she finished.
He sighed as if dealing with a petulant child. “Marie,” he said.
“No,” she insisted. “If you’re getting ready to say what I think you are going to say, you first have to admit the truth about last night.”
“Last night was amazing,” he said.
“Last night was pretty damn amazing,” she corrected.
“It was pretty damn amazing.” A small smile tickled his lips, but did not spread to the rest of his face. She wondered if she had the strength to hear what he was getting ready to say. “However,” he continued, “it cannot happen again.”
“Because I work for you?”
“Among other reasons.”
She wasn’t hungry anymore. She wasn’t feeling much of anything anymore. Except angry. “What are the other reasons?”
“I can’t be a Dom again, Marie.”
“You say that like it’s something you can turn off. You and I both know that’s not the case. And whether you want to admit it or not, you are a Dom. Which you proved last night, no matter what you’re saying now.”
“Let me restate, I can’t live as a Dom anymore. I accept that I will always be one.”
She gave a sad laugh. “As much as I expected this morning to go like this, I really wish you would have proved me wrong.”
He shrugged. Obviously not caring that he was stomping all over her heart.
“Tell me this,” she said. “Do you really think you being a Dom forced Winnie into that car?”
“No. I don’t think it forced her to the car, but I believe if I were vanilla she would still be here today.”
“That is the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard.”
“That doesn’t make it untrue.”
She took a deep breath. “Are you really so egotistical that you think you hold the power over life and death?”
His head shot up. “I don’t think that.”
“Don’t you?” She stood up and scraped her dish into the trash. If this was the way he was going to be, she was going back to the island. Maybe there she could pretend like last night didn’t happen.
But even as she thought it, she knew it wouldn’t work. The night before had been the most incredible one of her life. There was no way to pretend it didn’t happen. Maybe, though, the memories wouldn’t be so raw on the island. God, she hated the mainland.
She turned to walk out of the kitchen.
“Where are you going?” Lennox asked.
“Not that it’s any of your concern, but I’m going back to the island.”
“In this?” he pointed to the window. It was raining. Hard, but nothing she couldn’t handle.
“It’s a little bit of rain. It’s no big deal.”
“It’s coming down hard and it’s forecasted to get worse.”
“Then I’d better get going so I can still call for a boat.”
Lennox pushed back from the table and stood up. “No academy boat is going out in weather like this and you know it.”
Yes, she knew that. She also knew she had to get out of the cabin. “I’ll drive to the dock and wait for the rain to let up.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“And I really don’t care what you think.”
He reached out to her, but she jerked away. “Marie.”
“Don’t Marie me. All you had to do today was show a little bit of kindness and affection. Just a little. Prove to me that the man I was with last night is buried under those layers of horseshit you pass off as feelings. But you can’t do it, can you? Maybe you don’t have feelings after all.”
She had to calm down or she was going to start crying, and the one thing she did not want to do was to cry in front of him.
“Let me go, Lennox. If you feel anything for me, let me leave.”
He didn’t stand in her way this time. She walked past him and grabbed her purse and her keys from the foyer table. She didn’t have anything else with her. He followed her to the front door, looking as though he wanted to say something but was unable to get the words out.
She pushed the front door open and was hit in the face by a gust of wind. The rain had picked up a bit, too. It didn’t matter, it wouldn’t take too long to make it to the docks. There was a café nearby where she could sit until the rain slacked off. Anything was better than sitting in the cabin with him.
She jogged through the rain to get to her car and shivered when she made it inside. She sat for a few minutes, rubbing her hands together as the heater warmed up. Finally, she inched her car forward. Driving in the rain was not her favorite thing to do, but it was part of life in the Pacific Northwest.
Thankfully, traffic was light and it took her no time to get on 101. She had just started to relax when the car in front of her slammed on the brakes and swerved off the road. Too late, she saw the wooden pallets in the middle of her lane. She jerked the steering wheel to avoid hitting them and hydroplaned.
Brakes squealed.
Someone screamed.
Then nothing.
• • •
LENNOX GAVE HER a fifteen-minute head start, then he grabbed his keys to go after her. Damn foolish woman. Driving in this mess. He’d catch up with her at the docks and hopefully talk some sense into her.
Her comment that all she needed this morning was a bit of kindness and affection struck him deeply. He shouldn’t be cold to her. She deserved better. He knew he could never be who she needed him to be, but that didn’t mean he had to be cruel to her. Especially after last night. In one night, she’d torn down every wall, every barrier, every mask he’d created, and she’d shown him how much he was missing.
Their night together had been glorious. She’d been the embodiment of every fantasy he’d ever had. Better than any fantasy, actually. The way she’d submitted to him? He now knew what he was giving up by denying his true self. He was only hopeful that the memories would be able to sustain him.
He’d not been on the highway long when sirens sounded and he saw an ambulance approaching in his rearview mirror. An overwhelming sense of dread filled him, even though he told himself it was ridiculous and uncalled for. The emergency vehicle could be going anywhere, for any number of reasons.
The cars in front of him started to slow down and the feeling of dread grew worse. Obviously, there had been a car accident. He told himself it didn’t mean anything and that his imagination was running away from him.
The traffic slowed further, eventually coming to a complete stop. In the distance, he saw the ambulance pull to the side of the road. He took his phone and called Marie. Just to see if she was stuck in the same traffic, that was all. Or at least that’s what he told himself as the traffic began to move slowly. And just because she didn’t pick up didn’t mean anything serious. There were a number of reasons why she wouldn’t answer her phone and none of them involved her being the person who needed the ambulance.
The crash site grew closer and traffic inched slowly around the