by Sherri Hayes
“No. Not really.” She was twisting her hands in her lap again. A clear sign that she was nervous. “I’m curious, I guess.”
Picking up her hand, I brought it to my lips. I didn’t say anything more as I lowered our hands to my lap. That’s where they stayed for the duration of the drive.
The next day, I spent the morning reviewing some files Josh had sent over. The contract had been signed on Friday and this week was all about coming up with a game plan. I had to admit, I was excited about getting back to work.
While I was upstairs in the study, Brianna cleaned. The house wasn’t all that messy since she did some form of cleaning almost every day, but she said she needed the distraction. I didn’t know for sure, but I was assuming Richard was going to look in on John today for her.
Sure enough, after dinner the phone rang and it was Richard. I handed the phone to Brianna. “Hello?”
I stayed close. They didn’t talk long, though. The entire conversation lasted less than five minutes.
“Thank you,” Brianna said, and then disconnected the call. She cradled the phone in her hands and looked up at me. “They stabilized him and sent him back to the prison. Richard said he was recommended to see a cardiologist to see if he needed to be on medication or if they needed to put in a stent.”
She turned to stare out the window with a lost look on her face. I held out my hand for her. “Let’s go for a walk.”
Brianna placed the phone on the coffee table and stood. She laced her fingers with mine and we headed outside.
A rabbit was munching grass in the backyard about thirty feet from our back deck. He saw us and took off in the opposite direction.
I led us down by the water, one of her favorite places, and walked along the shore. “What are you thinking?”
“I don’t want him to die. But I also don’t want to see him.” She glanced up at me. “That doesn’t make sense, right? If I don’t want him to die, shouldn’t I want to see him?”
“Given the circumstances, and what he did, I think it makes perfect sense.” I was trying to be neutral here and not allow my feelings toward her father to cloud my judgement. She didn’t need my ire for him right now.
She didn’t say anything for a while as we walked. The sound of the water was calming. “I want to call Emma tomorrow.” She took a deep breath and exhaled. “If they contact her again, I don’t want her to call me.” She paused. “Even if he dies.”
I stopped and pulled her into my arms. My lips brushed against her hair. “Are you sure?”
Brianna nodded.
Kissing the top of her head, I angled us back toward the house. We spent the rest of the evening cuddled in my chair watching television. I didn’t question her decision. This was her choice. It always had been.
Since Brianna’s panic attack on Wednesday, I’d been thinking about how to help her. So as the new week dawned, I began putting my plan into place. While she spent the afternoon writing in her journal and reading, I headed up to the playroom.
When I looked around this room, I thought of all the possibilities it offered. We played in our room most of the time, which meant I had to plan ahead and bring any toys I wanted to use downstairs in advance. I could never make a spur of the moment decision to switch things up.
When Brianna saw this room, she saw possibilities as well. Just not of the pleasurable kind.
She loved playing. That wasn’t the issue.
Strolling over to the St. Andrew’s Cross, I considered my options once more. She needed to get over her fear. She wanted to. If that meant working through each toy and apparatus one at a time, then that’s what we would do.
Digging into the bag I brought with me, I got to work.
It took me two afternoons. One to get it disassembled and one to reassemble it.
I’d suggested Brianna spend some time out on the deck reading so I could bring everything down the stairs without her seeing what I was doing. It wasn’t that I was hiding it from her exactly, but I did want it to be a bit of a surprise. If she knew what was coming, she’d get anxious about it and that was the last thing I wanted.
By the time she came in to begin making dinner the second day, I had everything put back in order. I went to the kitchen to see if she needed any help.
“Can you make the salad?” she asked.
I smiled and went to the refrigerator to get the vegetables. “Are you enjoying the book you’re reading?”
“Yes.” A blush stained her cheeks and I knew why. As Brianna’s sexual appetite has increased, her reading material has gotten steamier. She still wanted to read about the couple falling in love, but the hotter the sex scenes, the better.
“That good, huh?” I teased her. “You might have to read a scene or two to me.”
The pink on her cheeks got darker and I chuckled.
We sat down to dinner and I dove into her journal as I ate. Yesterday she’d met with Dr. Katlin and we’d spent over an hour the night before talking through what they’d discussed. To my surprise, she hadn’t mentioned her dad at all. Instead, her focus had returned to preparing for Lily’s wedding. I had some ideas about that too, but first things first.
We were almost finished cleaning up when I made my announcement. “We’re playing tonight.”
She finished drying her hands on the towel and came to stand in front of me.
I lifted her chin and gave her a hard kiss before taking her hand and leading her to our bedroom. There was no hesitation on her part. She trusted me completely and I was hoping that would get us over this hurdle as it had all the others in the past.
The moment she noticed the new addition to our bedroom her eyes went wide, and she sucked in a breath. I really hoped this was going to work.
Chapter 17
Brianna
My heart wouldn’t stop pounding as I stared at the St. Andrew’s Cross in the corner of our bedroom. It was the one from his playroom. I didn’t understand. What was it doing here?
But even as the thought crossed my mind, I knew. He’d said we were playing tonight. And looking at the large wooden X in our bedroom, I knew that would be part of our play.
He stepped in front of me, partially blocking my view. “What number, Brianna?”
I swallowed and it felt as if there was a lump in my throat. “S-seven.”
With the gentlest of pressure, he took my hands and placed them on his cheeks. “Breathe. I’m right here.”
His gaze held mine as he breathed with me until my breathing was steady once more and my pulse had slowed.
“Good girl.” Still holding my wrists, he began backing toward the Saint Andrew’s Cross. I tried to focus on him. To remember that he would take care of me no matter what.
We came to a stop a foot away from the wooden structure. I knew it was there—I could feel it—but I didn’t take my eyes off Stephan.
He lowered my hands to the front of his shirt. “Undress me.” His voice was soft, barely above a whisper, but it was still a command.
My fingers trembled a little as I released the buttons one by one to reveal his chest and stomach. I’d undressed him many times, but it never got old. I loved being able to touch him, to feel the softness of his skin beneath my palms.
His shirt fell to the floor with barely a sound and I moved on to his pants. I was trying to ignore the imposing item next to us and concentrate on him and what I was doing. It was only a thing and a thing couldn’t hurt me.
I kept telling myself that over and over again as I lowered the zipper of his pants and pushed them down his hips. He stepped out of his pants and kicked them off to the side leaving him in only his underwear. The bulge of his erection strained against the confines of the fabric and it called to me.
Unable to resist, I brushed the back of my fingers over it, causing him to suck in a shaky breath. “Take them off.”
My heart raced for a different reason this time as I eased his underwear down his legs, leaving his penis pointing directly at me.
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nbsp; Like with his pants, he stepped out of the underwear and pushed them aside. He stood there, naked in front of me for several moments, not saying anything before he took hold of my wrist and brought my hand to his erection. I wrapped my fingers around him, and he moved my hand up and down his length, finding a rhythm he liked.
A bead of pre-come appeared at the tip of his penis and my mouth watered wanting to lick it.
As if knowing exactly what I’d been thinking, he took his free hand, and with his index finger, he gathered up the moisture and brought it to my mouth. I opened obediently.
The salty flavor filled my mouth as he spread it on my tongue. I closed my lips around his finger, sucking, wanting to get it all.
When he removed his finger from my mouth, he skimmed it down my neck to the front of my dress and released the top button. Then the next. And the next. The dress had buttons all down the front and methodically he popped each one from its hole while continuing to guide my hand on his erection.
The cooler air hit my exposed torso causing my nipples to harden against the fabric of my bra. My dress hung loose, open in the front, with my bra and panties peeking out from underneath. I swayed toward him, seeking more of his touch.
He removed my hand from his penis and turned us. I was waiting for him to push me against the wall and kiss me, but instead I felt wood at my back. My eyes widened and my breathing picked up when I felt him lift my wrist. I felt the panic beginning to rise and I opened my mouth to call out my number. I had completely forgotten about the cross.
“Eyes on me, Brianna.” His sharp tone shocked me back to the present.
He was staring at me, watching me. I took a deep breath, and then another.
“Good girl. Keep looking at me. Focus on me.”
I did as he asked and felt my panic begin to ebb.
Then, I felt the leather encircle my left wrist. I sucked in a breath but didn’t get much air.
“Listen to my voice, love. I’m right here. It’s just me and you.”
I nodded.
“Tell me what you’re feeling? What number are you right now?”
“I’m—I’m scared. Six.” I was really trying not to get to a seven.
He kissed the skin right below where he had my wrist secured to the wood and I felt a tingle go down my arm. Not a bad tingle, but the good kind of tingle.
“I’m going to secure your other wrist now.” It wasn’t a request, although I knew I could say ten and he would stop. It had never happened. Not with sexual things. But I knew if I said it, he would stop.
Did I want him to stop?
The scared part of me was screaming yes, but there was another part that knew from experience that if I could get over my fear, I’d most likely enjoy it. All I had to do was not let the fear win.
It was easier said than done.
Leather circled around my right wrist, securing it in place, and I waited for him to bend down and do the same to my ankles. Instead, he stood in front of me, cupped the back of my neck and kissed me.
His mouth teased mine until I leaned forward trying to get more of him.
“That’s my girl,” he said, his breath tickling my wet lips.
I sucked in a breath as he deepened the kiss and I felt his fingers skim down my sides until he dug his fingers into my hips. All thoughts of anything but Stephan disappeared as he ground his erection against my stomach.
The kiss seemed to go on forever, and then suddenly his mouth was gone, and I was craving more. He didn’t leave me hanging for long, though. His lips trailed down my neck, licking and sucking his way to my breasts that were still encased in my bra. He held me in both his hands, kneading my soft flesh. All I wanted was for him to keep touching me.
My wish came true when he pushed the cups of my bra out of his way and guided one nipple into his mouth. A low moan escaped my lips as he sucked. I could feel the moisture building between my legs.
As if reading my mind, he dipped a finger into my panties. “You’re so wet for me,” he murmured with a mouthful of my breast.
Again, he took his time touching, savoring each of my breasts while massaging between my legs. His fingers slid in and out of me with ease. I wanted more. I needed more.
“Please?” I begged. “Please.”
He released my breast and kissed lower. “Is my girl wanting to come?”
To drive his point home, he licked my clit through my panties. I almost came right then. “Please.”
He did it again, but lighter this time. “Tell me what you want, pet.”
“I . . .” That’s all I got out before he started circling my clit with the tip of his tongue. It felt so good, but there wasn’t nearly enough pressure. “May I please come . . .” He thrust two fingers inside me, and I felt my legs begin to tremble. I was so close. “Sir, please, please, please.”
Then, as if he were taking a stroll in the park and not kneeling between my legs he said, “Come.”
As soon as the word left his mouth, he gave me what I’d been craving. His tongue flattened against my clit, lapping and sucking. It was exactly what I needed, and I screamed out as I came.
Stephan
Seeing Brianna strapped to my Saint Andrew’s Cross was a glorious thing. Seeing her coming while strapped to my Saint Andrew’s Cross was close to perfection.
Her body shook from the power of her orgasm, but I wasn’t quite finished with her yet. I removed her underwear as Brianna was still lost in post orgasmic bliss, which was exactly how I wanted her. She wasn’t thinking about the cross or her memories. All she was thinking about was this, us. Exactly how it should be.
Lifting her legs, I held her thighs open and lined myself up with her entrance. I didn’t hesitate as I pushed inside.
Brianna opened her eyes and I knew we’d crossed yet another hurdle. I didn’t see an ounce of fear.
It didn’t take long before I felt my climax approaching. I captured her mouth with mine as I increased my thrusts, grinding my pelvic bone against her clit.
A soft whimper rose from her throat and I knew she was there. I released her mouth long enough to give her permission to come, and then let loose myself. We didn’t often come together, but there were occasions, like tonight, when I was able to time things right. There was something about the feeling of her internal muscles clenching around me as I filled her.
The tension that had been building left our bodies in a matter of moments and I felt her legs loosen around my waist. “Hook your ankles around me.”
It took a second or two for what I said to register, but soon I felt her legs grip me again. Once I was confident her legs were secure around my waist, I reached up to release her wrists. I freed the first one and kissed the inside of it, placing her hand on my shoulder. She steadied herself as I removed the binding from her other wrist.
I carried us both into the bathroom and set her on top of the counter before unhooking her legs and letting myself slip out of her. “Stay here. I’m going to draw us a bath.”
Her eyes were half closed, but she nodded. I knew she was riding high on endorphins at the moment, but I didn’t want her to crash once they began to wear off. Hence the bath. Brianna loved relaxing in the bathtub. She’d sometimes spend an hour or more soaking in the water reading one of her romance novels. It was where I normally sent her when I knew she needed to unwind.
After testing the water to make sure it was a good temperature, I dug a hair tie out from one of the drawers and began gathering her hair on top of her head. I tugged a little harder than I meant to as I was attempting to wrap the elastic around her hair, and she made a noise that sounded somewhere between a moan and a squeak. “Did I hurt you?”
She shook her head.
“Words, Brianna.”
There was a moment’s pause, and then, “No, Sir.” I barely heard her above the water running.
If this was the first time she’d done this, I would be worried. But it wasn’t. It happened a lot when we had an intense play session.
I waited until the water was where I wanted it before joining her. She sunk back against my chest, resting her head on my shoulder. I reached for the soap and lathered up my hands.
As I massaged the soap into her shoulders, I took a visual inventory of her body. Other than a few red marks on her breasts from my scruff, she had no other marks, not even from the leather cuffs that had been around her wrists. She hadn’t fought the restraints at all, but then again, Brianna enjoyed being bound.
It was something she’d struggled with over the years as she did with a lot of the kinky stuff we did. Given her history, she didn’t understand why she liked it. We’d discussed the subject multiple times. She'd even tried to talk to Dr. Perkins about it, but when the conversation had dissolved into questioning whether or not I was pushing Brianna to do things she didn’t want to do, Brianna had decided not to bring it up again.
That had been my main issue with her previous therapist. While she helped Brianna work through her social issues and her fear of situations and people, she’d been horrible when it came to assisting Brianna in dealing with her sexual insecurities.
Maybe insecurities wasn’t the correct word. Brianna embraced her sexuality in a lot of ways. She communicated her feelings and what she liked and disliked. And she didn’t shy away from less than traditional sex. Not only did she love being bound, she enjoyed having her hair pulled, several different types of sensation play, and a variety of toys and vibrators. The only thing that kept her from trying something was her memories. I was really hoping Dr. Katlin would be able to help her with those since she seemed more open to the type of relationship Brianna and I had.