by E. L. Todd
“She has kids, Sadie. I can’t just pressure her like that. I don’t want to be around her kids if she doesn’t want me to. As much as I wanted to be with her, it’s not going to happen.”
“Let me talk to her.”
He glared at me. “Don’t you say a word to her. Leave her alone—I mean it.”
“I’m not going to lecture her if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“No, but you are going to make her feel bad. I know she wants to be with me but she feels too guilty to reach out to me. Telling her that she should give me a chance is just going to confuse her and hurt her. I respect her decision. Leave it alone, Sadie.”
“I thought you loved her? Why are you giving up?”
“Because I love her, Sadie. She has to come to me. I won’t chase her down and make her cry again. I can’t rush her.”
“But—”
“Drop it.” He grabbed the menu and looked at it.
Natascia and Stephanie looked uncomfortable. Stephanie pulled out her phone and Natascia looked at the menu even though she knew what she was ordering.
I looked Jared. “Alex isn’t coming, right?”
“No.”
“Good.”
We had our meal together and said very little. There was tension between me and Natascia because of our argument about my job prospects, and Jared was annoyed with me for discussing Elisa. Stephanie was the only person that didn’t seem to hate me at the moment.
After we paid our bill, I felt my phone ring. Excited, I reached for it, hoping it was Ethan. I was with him nearly all the time, but when we were apart it was unbearable. My smile disappeared when I saw my mother’s name.
Jared looked at the phone. “Why is she calling you now? It’s like six in the morning over there.”
“I don’t know.”
“Are you going to answer it?”
I answered the call. “Hello?”
“Darling!”
I rolled my eyes. That fake British accent was annoying. “Hi, Mom.”
“I have wonderful news!”
“Are you getting married?”
“God, no,” she said with a laugh. “I found a job for you.”
“What?”
“You know that boyfriend I told you about that worked for that magazine? Well, his copy editor was just fired and they need a replacement. Of course there are at least a thousand resumes that need to be evaluated, but I asked if he could pull some strings for me.” My heart was beating so fast. “So, do you want it?”
“Is this a serious question?”
She laughed. “I knew you would say yes.”
“What magazine is it?”
“The Royal.”
I was starting to sweat. That was one of the biggest fashion magazines in the world. I didn’t care for fashion, but with a job like that, I would get a better one. Plus, I would make great money. It was too good to be true. “Oh my god!”
“I know. It’s wonderful.”
Jared smiled as he listened to the conversation, his head pressed against mine. He turned to Natascia. “She just got a job!”
“Yes!” Natascia said. “That’s awesome.”
Stephanie clapped. “Yay.”
I hushed them. “Do I need to have an interview?”
“No, of course not. I’m sleeping with him. You don’t have to do anything like that.”
That was way too much information. “Okay. So, do I just go down to the office?” I knew where the Royal building was. It was only a few blocks from the bookstore. It was an extra walk, but I wasn’t complaining.
“Yes, he’ll take you to work with him.”
“Wait. What?”
“So, you can stay with me until you get back on your feet then we’ll go from there. I’m so excited to see my daughter. It’s been so long.”
I stopped breathing. “Wait. You’re talking about Royal in London?”
“Duh. What else would I be talking about?”
“The one in New York.”
“Well, that doesn’t make any sense. And what does it matter?”
I said nothing.
“You still want it, right?”
“Uh, yeah.” I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“Great! I’ll tell Roger. Start packing!” She hung up.
I placed the phone on the table and stared at it.
Natascia raised an eyebrow. “Why are you so sad? You were just ecstatic a moment ago.”
I didn’t say anything.
Jared leaned forward. “The gig is in London.”
“Oh,” Stephanie said sadly.
Natascia looked at me. “It doesn’t matter. This is your dream, Sadie. You need to go after it. Another opportunity like this is never going to come around. You would be stupid to say no.”
My throat was dry. “I—I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?” Natascia snapped. “This better not be because of Ethan. You are not giving this up for him. You just started dating.”
“I—I can’t leave him.”
Natascia glared at me. “You are going to throw this away for a guy? Really? Sadie, stop being stupid. I know you are infatuated with him, but there’s no guarantee it will last.”
I ran my fingers through my hair. I really wanted the job but I couldn’t leave Ethan. It was impossible. I was so happy with him. But that job was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Interns probably worked there for years before they were promoted to the job they actually wanted. I would cut through all of that.
Jared looked at me. “I agree with Natascia. I think you should go.”
“But I won’t see you anymore either—all of you.”
“This is more important,” he said gently. “And it’s not like you’re never going to see us again.”
“And Dad?”
“He’ll understand. He’ll be ecstatic, actually.”
“I don’t know.”
“If you really feel that way about it, work there for a few years then come back. With that experience, you can find a job anywhere.”
Natascia nodded. “Yeah, Sadie. But you have to start somewhere.”
I sighed. “I don’t know.”
“Well, you need to make up your mind soon, Sadie,” Jared said.
“No,” Natascia snapped. “Her mind is already made up. She’s going.”
I took a deep breath. “I—I need to go.” I rose from the table and headed for the door. When I reached the sidewalk, I felt Jared next to me. “I need to think.”
“I don’t want you to walk home alone.”
I said nothing. My mind was reeling with the decision before me. Do I lose this amazing opportunity, or do I lose Ethan? I didn’t have a lot of time to think about it. My mom was expecting me to make the move within a few days, probably earlier than that.
We entered the building then rode the elevator. Jared walked me to my door but didn’t come in.
“Good night,” he said.
“Yeah.” I closed the door.
Koku ran up to me and pawed my leg but I ignored him. I was too distracted to care. I sat down on the couch and stared at the blank television screen. My heart felt like it was going to burst. I didn’t know what to do.
My phone started ringing.
When I saw Ethan’s name, I moaned. I wasn’t ready to talk to him. I ignored his call.
He called me a few minutes later. I knew he wanted to make sure I got home safely, and if I ignored his call, he would just come over because he was a crazy asshole like that.
“Hello?”
“Baby?” He heard the sadness in my voice. I tried to hide it but I was too upset. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Where are you?”
“I’m fine,” I said.
“What happened?”
“I—I don’t want to talk about it right now.” I heard the sound of keys and the slamming of a door. He was coming.
“Are you home?”
I was quiet for a moment. “Yes. But please don
’t come, Ethan.”
“I’ll be there in five minutes.” He hung up.
I sighed then dropped the phone on the table. He really pissed me off but I loved him so fucking much. What was I going to do? I couldn’t leave him.
He knocked on the door a few minutes later, startling me. Koku ran for the door, excited to get some attention. When I unlocked the door, Ethan opened it and stepped into the room. He ignored Koku and stared at me, making sure I wasn’t hurt. “What’s going on? Why are you upset?”
I shut the door behind him then walked away. “Everything is fine.”
“Then why are you upset, baby?” He followed behind me and wrapped his arms around me. He turned me around and made me face him. His eyes, lips, and nose were beautiful. I couldn’t stand not to see them every day. “Tell me.”
“I got a job.”
He raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“I was offered a job as the copy editor for Royal Magazine.”
He smiled. “That sounds great, Sadie. Congratulations. You don’t need to be nervous. You’ll do great.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about.”
“I’m not following.”
“It’s in London.”
His smile dropped. The light in his eyes disappeared and his lips turned white. “London?”
“Yeah.”
He nodded. “Well, that’s a beautiful city. You’ll love it there.”
“What?”
“And you’ll get to see your mom.”
“You want me to go?”
His eyes still looked sad. “Sadie, I know this is what you want. Of course, I want you to go.”
“But then I’ll have to leave you.”
“I realize that.”
“And you want me to leave?”
He stared at me for a moment. “I think this is a great opportunity. You’re not going to find another offer like that, Sadie.”
“But what about us?”
“We’ll do a long-distance relationship. Work there for year then quit. With that work experience, you can find another job here.”
“But—that’s a long time, Ethan.”
He sighed. “I want you to go, Sadie. There’s not a better solution than to do a long-distance relationship. I can’t fly out there because I can’t afford it, but you can come here once a month or something.”
“That sounds horrible.”
He didn’t say anything.
“I don’t think I can do that, Ethan.”
“Sadie, you’re going. There’s no discussion. I won’t let you sacrifice an offer like this because of me. You’ve been looking for a job for a long time and none of them are as good as this.”
“I know but—”
“This isn’t a discussion. Did you accept the job yet?”
“Yeah,” I whispered.
He closed his eyes for a moment then reopened them. “Then that’s settled.” He looked at the floor. “When do you leave?”
“As soon as I pack.”
He nodded. “Well, I’ll get some boxes from work.”
I hated it. I hated the pain on his face. “Ethan, I’ll stay.”
“No.”
We said nothing for a long time.
Ethan pulled out his phone then looked at the time. “I have to go.”
“What? Where?”
“I—I need to make dinner for the kids.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“Just give me some space,” he snapped. He turned around and left the apartment, slamming the door behind him.
The tears fell from my eyes as I started to cry. Koku whimpered at my feet but I ignored him. It didn’t feel like I was doing the right thing. I felt like I was doing the wrong thing.
24
“Do you need help moving?” Jared asked when I answered the door.
“No.”
He looked over my shoulder and saw the room. I hadn’t packed anything. “It looks like you do.”
I sighed. “I’m fine.”
He saw the sad expression in my eyes. “You told Ethan?”
I nodded.
“What did he say?”
“He told me to leave.”
“Good. You should.”
“Jared, I don’t want to.”
“You’ll regret it if you don’t.”
“I’ll regret leaving him more.”
“Sadie, you’ve been together for a month. Don’t you think you are acting a little crazy right now?”
“I don’t need to spend a lifetime with him to know that I love him.”
“You aren’t thinking clearly.”
I said nothing.
“Have you told Dad?”
“No.”
“You need to do it soon.”
I sighed. “I know.”
“When are you leaving?”
“I don’t know. Tomorrow night or the day after.”
“I’m surprised Ethan isn’t here.”
“He doesn’t want to talk right now.”
“So he’s supportive but angry?”
“No. I think he’s just sad—miserable.”
“You can always do long-distance.”
“They never work, Jared. I don’t want to do that.”
He said nothing.
I stepped out the door then locked it behind me.
“Where are you going?”
“To the shop.”
“You’re going to tell him?”
“Yeah.”
“You want me to come?”
“I would prefer it if you didn’t.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
We walked inside the elevator and rode to the bottom floor. Before I stepped out, Jared grabbed my arm. “You’re doing the right thing, Sadie.”
I pulled away and didn’t respond. I walked down the street until I reached the small shop on the corner. My dad was checking the register.
“Hey,” he said with a smile. “Have a good weekend?”
“It was okay.”
“Why the long face?”
“I have to tell you something, Daddy.”
“And what is that?”
I looked at him. “I was offered a job working as a copy editor for Royal Magazine. It’s a great job but I’ll have to move to London. I leave tomorrow.”
My dad didn’t react. He was quiet for a long time. He was the first person who wasn’t happy for me. He looked more depressed than Ethan did.
“Dad?”
“That’s great, honey. But I don’t understand.”
“I like working here, but I want to do something in my field. I’ve always wanted to write for a magazine.”
“No, that’s not what I meant.”
“Now I don’t understand.”
“What about Ethan?”
I stared at him. “What do you mean?”
“Are you going to break up with him?”
“I—I don’t know. We haven’t decided yet.”
He nodded but didn’t say anything.
“Dad, what’s wrong? You don’t seem very happy.”
“Nothing.”
“Dad, tell me.”
He sighed. “I thought you really liked this guy.”
“I do.”
He said nothing.
“Are you saying I shouldn’t go?” There was no way that’s what he meant. Everyone said I would be stupid to stay behind for a single guy.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, honey. But why are you going to throw away someone you love for a job? Is it because of the money, the location?”
“No, of course not.”
He shook his head. “Then I don’t understand. You mother left me because she wanted to work for that makeup company in London. She said it was her dream.” I felt my heart stop. He never talked about why they broke up. “I couldn’t just close the shop, my dream, and I couldn’t move my kids across the ocean. She wanted to go anyway.”
“So she left you?”
He nodded.
“I thought this guy was the one, Sadie? I’ve never seen you with anyone before nor have I ever seen you so happy. You guys are passionate and argumentative, but happy. Is a job really more important than what you found in him?”
“You think I should stay?”
“I think you should stay if you love the guy. If you leave, then you obviously don’t. Your mother didn’t love me—she still doesn’t.”
“You’re right.”
“I’m always right.”
I smiled. “Thank you.”
“Did you already talk to him?”
“I told him I was leaving.”
“And what did he say?”
“He was supportive.”
He shook his head. “Go get him, Sadie. He’s a good guy. I was selfish and fought for your mother until her plane took off. He’s strong to put aside his own desires and put you first. He loves you.”
I felt the tears bubble under my eyes. “I know.”
“Now go tell him that.”
I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. “Thank you, Daddy.”
He patted me on the back. “Of course. I wouldn’t want you to make the biggest mistake of your life.”
“I’ll see you later.”
“So, you aren’t working today?” he asked with a smile.
“No, I have to talk to Ethan.” I left the shop and took a cab to his place across town. When I knocked on the door, Elisa stared at me through the peep hole before she finally opened it.
“Hey,” she said sadly. “Is everything okay?”
“Can I wait here until Ethan gets home?”
“Uh, he’s home now.”
“He didn’t go to work?”
She shook her head. “He called in sick.”
I went inside and she shut the door.
“So, I heard that you’re moving?”
“No,” I said quickly. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“You’re not?”
“No. I’m not leaving Ethan.”
Her face broke out into a grin and she grabbed her chest. “Thank god.”
“I’m sorry that I hurt your brother.”
“It doesn’t matter,” she said quickly. “Please go tell him the news. Hurry. I can’t stand to see him like this.”
I turned around and walked down the hallway. When I got to his door, it was locked. I knocked.
“What?” he snapped.
“Open the door.”
“Sadie?”
“Ethan.”
He opened the door and looked at me. “Why are you here? I said I needed my space.”