by Blake, Remy
Entering Connor’s bedroom, I turn to him once the door is shut. “Oh my God. That was so embarrassing. Your grandparents must think I’m completely unethical.” I stumble over to the bed and fall down onto the large mattress. “And they aren’t wrong. I am unethical. Fuck.” I cover my face with my hands and fight back the tears. Tears of shame and tears because I know I should end things with Connor, but I don’t think I can. I’ve come to enjoy his company too much and I’m not ready for the void in my life that losing him would create. I care about him too much.
The mattress sinks down next to me and Connor loosens my hands from my face, continuing to hold onto them.
“Hey. I don’t want to hear any of that. You’re not unethical. We can’t help how we feel about each other. And I know how hard you fought getting involved with me. If anyone is unethical it’s me because there wasn’t much in the way of me trying to resist you. I’ve never wanted someone as much as I want you; twenty-four-seven. There was no shutting down this attraction between us.” His blue eyes are so earnest, staring into mine. I’ve never seen him like this before. It makes my chest tight with emotion. “And now what I feel for you runs so much deeper than mere attraction. I’ve fallen for you, Harper. If you tell me you can’t handle being with me, you’re going to break my heart. I’ve never had my heart broken before. Do you really want to be the first woman to do so?”
I laugh and shake my head.
“What? I declare my feelings for you and you think it’s funny?” He’s acting put out, but I can tell he’s teasing.
“I don’t want to break your heart. I’d rather hurt myself than ever hurt you. And everything you’re feeling, I’m feeling it too. We’re in this together, Guapo.”
He cups my cheeks and studies my face. “It’s not going to be an easy road for the rest of the school year, but we’ll do whatever we have to and make it out on the other side. And then there will be no more obstacles in our path.”
“God, I love the way that sounds.”
“We’ve got this, Bombón.” He winks. Leaning in, he presses his lips gently to mine. His tongue caresses the curve of my bottom lip, begging for entrance and I comply, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck. We kiss for minutes or hours. The time doesn’t matter because we’re together, and for the first time since we began this... relationship, I know we’re going to see where this can go.
A scratching sound interrupts us and Connor raises his head. The sounds happen again and he laughs. “Tank wants in.” He rises from the bed and crosses the room while I study every inch of his body. His broad shoulders taper to a lean waist, and thinking about how chiseled his abs are makes my stomach feel fluttery. He opens the door and Tank trots inside as if he owns the place.
“Tank.” I pat the bed and he heads toward me.
“Watch out. You shouldn’t call him up on the bed unless you want him spooning with you in the middle of the night.”
“Aww, do you two spoon?” I ask, picturing how adorable they must be.
“He likes to wake me up with his tongue on my mouth.”
I snort. “What a way to wake up.”
“Tell me about it; bad breath and a huge tongue. I don’t want him getting any ideas when you’re in bed with me. And just so you know, I’m down with you waking me up with your tongue on my… mouth.”
* * *
Opening my eyes, I find Tank’s face about two inches from mine on the pillow. And his hot, dog breath is fanning my face. During the night, he must’ve snuck up on the bed, as he’s currently sandwiched between Connor and me and it’s a tight fit. Turning to my back, I scoot over to the edge of the bed. Lying still, I stare up at the unblemished, white ceiling. Waking up in the same bed as Connor has become my new favorite thing. And it doesn’t even matter that Tank is between us. The three of us feel like a family of sorts. I can’t believe that thought isn’t making me nervous.
After everything that happened with Anthony, you’d think I’d be gun shy, but I’m not. Is it because Connor comes from money, so I know he’d never put me in the same predicament Anthony did? No, it’s that I already know Connor is too honorable to do anything like that to me, money or not. He can be rebellious when it comes to school and act like he doesn’t care, but deep down I know he does. I saw the first signs of that when he did poorly on the exam. And every moment that we’ve spent together since, he’s treated me with respect and kindness. He values my opinions and listens when I speak. His lack of past commitments should have me concerned, but it doesn’t. And as new as we are, for the first time in months, I feel hopeful. I look forward to what each new day will bring and it’s all because of Connor McAdam Jr.
“What are you thinking so intently about this early in the morning?” Connor asks.
Turning my head his way, I glance at him over Tank’s head and smile. “I was thinking about how happy you make me.”
He beams. “Really?”
“Really. I mean it. Since we started spending time together, I feel like I’ve got a fresh perspective on life. I’m happy and the future is exciting to me.”
He turns on his side, facing me and props his head on his hand. “I feel the same. Things that would normally feel like burdens, now seem lighter and less important to me. All that matters, is when I get to see your beautiful face and kiss those sexy lips.”
Tank picks his head up as if Connor was talking about him and we laugh.
“Tank, I love you, bud, but get your ass off our bed.” Connor doesn’t have to say another word. Tank gets up and walks to the end of the mattress before he jumps down.
“Where were we?” Connor asks, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me to the middle of the mattress.
“Don’t get any ideas. I’m not having sex with you with your grandparents here. I already feel like the wicked temptress who lead their grandson astray.” Oh God, I have to face his grandparents again. Shit.
“Oh, come on. Do you think I’d let them be so disillusioned about you? Besides, they already know how much you mean to me and that means they’ll automatically love you.”
“You told them about me?”
“Not about you, per se. I told them there was a girl I really liked, but it was before anything happened with us. But they know it’s you. And Gramps gave me a thumbs up when he was hugging you.” I don’t mention that it was before he found out she’s my professor.
“I’m still going to be embarrassed to see them.”
“If I know them, they’re probably already gone. They get up earlier than anyone I know and Gramps told me last night that they weren’t hanging around.”
“I’m sorry you didn’t get to spend more time with them.”
“Dinner was perfect for me. I know the conversation got a little awkward for you.”
“A little?” I cut in.
“Okay, a lot. But I was here with all my favorite people and my dog. What more can a man ask for?”
Rolling to my side, I face Connor. “You’re so sweet.”
“Don’t tell anyone. You’ll ruin my rep.”
I snort. “Who would I tell? Aside from you, I have three people I consider friends.”
“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask you who the two guys you hang out with are.”
“What guys?” I pretend to be ignorant.
“The dark, broody guy from your office and the one who interrupted us at the park.”
“Miles is the one who came to my office. He’s got a girlfriend who he loves very much.”
“And the park guy?”
“That’s Cole and he’s gay. He’s in love with another man, not me.”
“Are you sure he’s really gay? He seemed pretty touchy feely with you.”
I snort. “He’s definitely after dick not pussy.”
“Good. I was prepared to fight for you if I had to.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yep. I wasn’t going to let anyone else have my girl.”
“Your girl, huh?”
�
�You bet.”
“When did I become your girl?”
“Well, I’d say this weekend, but that wouldn’t be true.”
“Why not?”
“Because you became my girl the first time we kissed. I just didn’t realize it”
* * *
“I’m sad we have to go back. I wanted to stay longer,” I confess.
“Me too. But the good thing is, we can return any weekend we want. And winter break will be here in a few weeks. We can go again before you go to California or after you get back. I’m going to miss you while you’re gone.”
“Not as much as I’m going to miss you. My brothers are going to drive me crazy. And you know by now, Cruz has told them all about you. I’ll get interrogated for sure.”
“Cruz seemed to like me, so that should help.”
“You’d think, but don’t be so sure. Those guys find things to be a pain in the ass about. It’s their special talent.”
“When you’re there, make sure you say all good things about me. Especially to your mom. I need to get on her good side. And I definitely don’t want to get my ass kicked by the Martínez brothers. I know how to throw down, but not against four at the same time.”
“I’ve never known them to beat anyone up unless they asked for it. You’ll be fine unless you give them a reason to.”
“When do you leave for California? I’ve been meaning to ask you.”
“I leave mid December.”
“When do you return?”
“I’ll be back for the New Year.”
“That’s a long time to be away.”
“You could come visit me.” I shock myself by inviting him. But I realize how much I want him to visit. I want to show him around and introduce him to my mother. I even want Connor to meet all my brothers.
“Really? Or are you just being nice by saying that?”
“I’m dead serious. I’d love to show you around and introduce you to my family.”
“You’re on. I’ll check out the flights and see what I come up with.”
Leaning back in my seat, I smile as I watch the scenery rolling by. Three months ago, I left California as a sad woman with a broken heart. And because of Connor, I’m returning as a woman with a whole heart and hope for the future.
22
Harper
Straightening my clothes, I make sure I’m all covered up before knocking on Dean Billings’ door. His receptionist said he’d be in when I called earlier, and I really need to get this over with. After spending alone and uninterrupted time with Connor, it feels right to try and limit our school contact with one another.
It doesn’t necessarily mean we’ll see each other less, but things have definitely changed. It feels more serious. More real. And in my mind, seeing less of him at school will somehow ease the guilt that comes with being the professor who’s sleeping with her student.
Thanksgiving with Connor was unexpected, yet exactly what I needed. At first, it seemed like the perfect distraction; the perfect way to not miss my family around this particular holiday. Except, the whole thing turned out to be exactly that and a whole lot more.
On St. Michael’s Island we were no longer the professor and the student. We were no longer two people who’d found a convenient place to fuck. In a short amount of time, I was able to see the real him. The man he was when there were no puppet strings and he wasn’t under a constant dark cloud of his father’s disapproval. Without school and the responsibilities, I saw a whole different side of Connor. One that I liked very much.
He was attentive in every way a woman would want a man to be. Doting on me in ways that showed just how serious he was about us.
Us. If you asked me when we first started fooling around what word I would use to describe Connor and me, us wouldn’t have been on the list. Truth be told, it didn’t even occur to me that this had the potential to turn into something real. Something that sat inside my ribcage and rested right where my heart was.
He was not only showing me his true self, but he was bringing out a side of me I thought I lost with Anthony.
Relaxed. Carefree. Happy.
It felt good. Too good. We blurred the lines every time we touched. Right and wrong. Truth and lies. Lust and Love. And if I could somehow eliminate the ways that we could get caught until we figured out how far we were willing to take this, then that’s what I was going to do.
A heavy door swings open, and the butterflies that were doing somersaults in my stomach at the thought of Connor lose their wind at the sight of Dean Billings.
As usual, all my senses are on high alert because there is nothing calming or comforting about being in his presence. He’s a man who’s never been told no, and he brings that expectation into every deal he makes.
“Harper,” he greets, a quick moment of surprise on his face. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“Sir.” He side steps, opening the door wide enough for me to walk through. A wandering hand lands on the small of my back and I stiffen as he guides me farther into his office.
“Please take a seat.” He gestures to the chair before walking around his desk and sitting down. “What brings you here?”
Feeling more and more self-conscious, I try to get the words out as soon as possible. “I just wanted to speak about Connor McAdam Jr.”
He raises an almost knowing eyebrow. “Yes, what about him?”
I clear my throat. “After weeks of tutoring him, it is my professional opinion that he doesn’t need our sessions anymore.”
“Oh,” he says, sounding surprised. “Is that what young Connor has led you to believe?”
“Sorry, sir.” I give my head a light shake. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“He’s been playing nice, so he could get you where he wants you. His father said he had a knack for getting his way. Master manipulator is the exact words he used.”
Six weeks ago, I would’ve believed this about Connor. I didn’t know him and I had the same idea about all the entitled kids here at King. But considering Connor doesn’t know I’m here, I’m a little more than hurt at the misjudgement being cast his way from his own father and Dean Billings.
“I’m not sure what you’re implying,” I say sternly, not wanting to give in to this game. “But I don’t have the time to be tutoring him three nights a week. Especially with all that is required for the end of semester.”
“Is the workload too big for you?” he asks, clearly patronizing me.
The fucker was baiting me and there’s no way I was going to let him win this stupid game.
“I’m not tutoring him anymore,” I say with a bit more force. “I will be delivering the news this week, and I just wanted to give you a heads-up, in case his parents were to get involved again.”
Shocked at my outburst, I watch him grind his jaw, trying to work out his next move. But this isn’t up for discussion. I need this.
“Well, if that’s what you want, Ms. Martínez. I would appreciate if you didn’t deliver the news to Mr. McAdam. I will do that.”
His concession feels orchestrated and my body erupts in uneasy goose bumps. Billings has always tried to assert power with me. I don’t know if he expected me to fall at his feet with gratitude or adhere to his every beck and call when I accepted the job offer, but that’s not how I work. Even less for a man who wears his sexist thoughts on his sleeve.
If all he could see was tits and ass, I was going to remind him just how troublesome they could be. There are so many reasons behind why King would hire me, but none of them, absolutely none of them, should be about the way I look. Yet, whenever Billings sees me, his creepy ogle makes me feel like my looks are my only worth.
Needing out, I rise, fixing my skirt and blouse. “So, that’s sorted then,” I clarify. “I no longer need to tutor Connor.”
“Of course.” A conniving smile spreads across his face. “But if he fails, Ms. Martínez, you will wear that grade.”
And there’s the catch.
&n
bsp; “Not a problem, sir.” I look at him pointedly. “I look forward to you letting me know you’ve spoken with him.” It’s not like Connor won't come and tell me first, but transparency with Billings is essential.
He gives me a curt not. “Thank you, Ms. Martínez, for visiting.”
I don’t even bother acknowledging his dismissal and walk right on out, glad that it’s now one less thing I have to worry about.
I’m halfway to my office when I see Cole calling out and waving me down from the entryway of King Koffee. He points to his own and then back at me, wordlessly asking if I want a drink. I check the time, give him a quick nod, and head his way.
When I step through the bustling coffee shop, I notice Miles sitting in a corner booth, busy on his computer, and Cole back in the line.
“Hey, I can wait for this,” I tell Cole, coming up beside him in the line.
“No, it’s fine,” he assures me. “Take a seat. I haven’t seen you in ages.”
“I’ll at least wait with you and pay for my own coffee.”
He just rolls his eyes at me, his silent form of arguing. When we get up to the front, I notice Cole’s most recent infatuation behind the counter, and nudge him in the shoulder. “So this is why you wanted to buy me a coffee?”
He gives me a cheeky smile. “Can’t a man enjoy a few perks with his coffee?”
“Yes. Although, they usually come in the form of baked goods.”
He leans over to me and lowers his voice. “Well, he’s definitely got the ‘goods’ part sorted out.”
I leave Cole to his moment and wonder if that will ever be me again. So infatuated with someone you’d go to the ends of the earth for them, sneaking in all the little moments no matter what the consequences may be.
Could I really fall in love with someone with the risk of it all crumbling to pieces? I don’t think I could survive another heartbreak; the last one nearly killed me and whatever this is with Connor has the power to destroy me. Personally and professionally. The damage done would be irreversible.