‘You’re not leaving my sight, you know. As awkward as that is, I’m not allowing you to be alone tonight.’
‘For medical reasons or because you just can’t bear to be away from me?’ I said with a small, nervous laugh.
‘I’m concerned about you,’ she replied, without laughing, ‘in more ways than one.’
‘I’ll be fine,’ I replied, rubbing my temples. ‘I’m just a little sore…and uncomfortable.’
‘I can imagine,’ she responded, looking at me closely.
‘The best thing I can do is sleep. Why don’t we go upstairs and find a place to bed down for the night?’
‘I…fine,’ Anderson relented.
Once upstairs, we found a room which was already made up ready for visitors. The bed was made and it was clean and tidy. I placed the candles I had brought upstairs on the bedside table and then eased myself down onto the bed carefully. Looking up, Anderson was eyeing me again.
‘It’s fine,’ I told her, trying to deny the pain I was in.
‘Let me see…lie down,’ she instructed.
I did as she asked, easing back onto the soft bed. It felt deliciously soft and I almost groaned in pleasure as the strain on my body of simply being standing, eased.
‘Is it okay if I check your wounds?’ she asked me.
I nodded, lifting the t-shirt I wore a little to indicate that I didn’t mind that she tend to me.
Anderson pulled my t-shirt further up and then cleaned and dressed the wounds on my stomach area. I winced and gritted my teeth again and again but I didn’t cry out or complain. She was a good doctor and helping me beyond measure. I appreciated everything she was doing.
‘Okay…now I should check the rest of you,’ Anderson said, ‘you should also let me give you a bed bath. Keeping clean will reduce your chance of infection. Some of your wounds and sores are open and susceptible to getting infected.’
‘Fine. Yes. Whatever you think is best.’
‘Okay. Can you undress?’ she asked.
‘I’ll try.’
‘I’ll get some warm water, flannels and towels,’ she told me, rising from the bed.
I struggled to sit up and eased the t-shirt over my head. I wore no bra so that was no problem. I then lay back and pushed my trousers and panties down and on to the floor out of the way. Covering myself up with a white sheet, I lay there waiting, trying to remember that it was just a doctor coming to tend to my wounds-nothing else.
When Anderson returned, she sat beside the bed. She had found a plastic bowl and sponge from somewhere and was clearly preparing to clean me up.
‘Relax…this is important,’ she told me. ‘Keep everything clean.’
I nodded and lay back, closing my eyes and trying to relax. I felt the sheet coming down as far as my waist and then I opened my eyes.
‘Can you lift your arms?’ she asked softly.
I lifted my arms and she used the sponge to wipe down my arms and armpits, cleansing my skin of blood and sweat. When she was done, she patted me dry gently with the soft, white towel. She moved to my stomach, where she cleaned wounds, dried them and then redressed them. I tried to keep my breathing steady but her soft, gentle hands tantalised my skin with her touch. My nipples had grown hard and erect but I tried to tell myself that that was a reaction to the cold, and not her.
‘Okay if I do your groin area now?’ she asked gently then.
I had a cut which ran down my stomach to the top of my privates. I nodded jerkily and then closed my eyes as she pulled off the sheet and gently cleaned the wound which was stitched up carefully. I knew I shouldn’t be thinking wayward thoughts, but my body reacted to her touch in a way which it shouldn’t have. She was being a good doctor, making sure my injuries were well-tended, and all I could do was think of her in a sexual way.
‘There. I think you’re done,’ she said, gently putting the sheet back over me. ‘I would sleep naked, allowing your cuts to heal without rubbing against any material. Don’t worry though; I’m happy to sleep on the floor.’
‘You’re not sleeping on the floor. Come and lie next to me. This bed is huge.’
I watched as she deliberated over what to do. She was, most definitely, a deep-thinker and it took her several moments to give in. After removing her shoes, she climbed into the bed and lay down on the other side.
Staring at the ceiling, the room became quiet. I waited for her to speak, but she didn’t. I waited for conversation, but we remained silent. I could hear her breathing, slow and relaxed. I concluded she must be asleep so glanced over at her. Blue eyes met mine and I felt myself swallow involuntarily.
‘I thought you were asleep,’ I said, nervously.
‘No…I’m tired, but wired.’
‘I’m tired but pain helps to keep you awake, doesn’t it?’
‘How bad is the pain?’ she asked, immediately changing from relaxed friend mode to doctor mode.
‘It’s okay…I just mean it’s enough to keep me awake and distracted.’
‘I see,’ she murmured.
‘So, as we’re both awake,’ I began, ‘why don’t you tell me about yourself?’
‘What do you want to know?’ she questioned, looking at me with interest.
‘Oh anything! Everything! Start with your name! Anderson is a very unique name.’
She smiled slightly. ‘Yeah…it is a bit different.’
‘Why were you called Anderson?’
‘My Dad,’ she said softly. ‘It was his family name-and he wanted me to have it. He was Harrison Anderson May and everyone in the family had the same middle name.’
‘So he passed it on to you?’
‘Yeah,’ she sighed.
‘And does everyone call you Anderson or do they shorten it?’ I wondered.
‘Everyone calls me Anderson…aside from my parents who called me Andi for short.’
‘It suits you,’ I murmured, gazing at her in the candlelight.
‘It’s not very professional so I insist on Anderson with colleagues but at home, we’re a bit more informal.’
‘Where are you from?’ I asked.
‘Here,’ she told me. ‘My parents still live in the very house I grew up in.’
‘Oh wow. And was it just you or did you have brothers and sisters?’ I questioned.
‘I have a brother, Brent and a sister Cadence. Brent is an accountant, married with a young family and Cadence moved up North and is a lawyer. She recently got married and is pregnant with her first child.’
‘Wow. So you’ve got quite the family, and quite the high fliers career wise,’ I commented.
‘Yes. They’re a lovely bunch and I’m very blessed,’ she told me. ‘How about you, Beth? Tell me about your family.’
‘Well…it’s very different to the idyllic group you described,’ I revealed.
‘Oh?’
‘Yes. My Dad left before I was born and so it was just Mum and I early on.’
‘Did you grow up locally?’
‘Near here, yes. I’m from Merryson, just fifteen minutes from town.’
‘I know it,’ she nodded.
I sighed. ‘Yeah, well Mum struggled when I was young. She basically moved from job to job just to support us and when that became too much, she married the first man who showed any interest and used him to help finance having a child.’
‘Oh…’
‘Yeah,’ I sighed. ‘She tried her best, but it wasn’t always easy. I didn’t have the most straightforward upbringing at first.’
‘At first?’ she questioned.
‘Yes. Life changed for me at eleven,’ I told her.
‘How so?’
‘She had enough. Mum committed suicide and I was sent to a children’s home. Not long after that I was fostered and then adopted by a lovely family and the rest of my years growing up were stable.’
‘Oh my goodness, Beth! You’ve been through so much!’ she exclaimed.
I fell quiet. ‘You just muddle through, don’t you?’ I sai
d very softly.
‘You must be a very strong woman, Beth-but then I knew that already, didn’t I?’ she murmured.
I said nothing and just stared at the ceiling.
Chapter 6
‘What happened with your Mum?’ Anderson asked after a moment. Her voice was soft and gentle, but clearly enquiring.
‘She uh…I found her hanging…from the top of the stairs. She had thrown herself off.’
‘Jeez…and you found her? When you were a child?’
‘Yes. And I can tell you; that has never left me…’
‘I can imagine! I’ve seen my fair share of death since my medical training and as a child, that must have traumatised you!’
‘It wasn’t easy,’ I admitted, ‘but I was one of the lucky ones. After being fostered by a wonderful family, they took me on as theirs-even though I wasn’t the easiest teenager.’
‘You had reasons to find it difficult,’ Anderson commented.
‘I did, but it wasn’t fair on them. Once I realised how much they loved me and how to trust them, everything fell into place. To this day, I consider them my family, even though they’re not my blood.’
‘Blood doesn’t always matter. At the end of the day, it’s all about love.’
I looked over at her and met her eyes in the candlelight. ‘Love?’
‘Yes,’ she said softly.
‘Do you have your own family now then, Anderson? Someone to share your life with and love?’ I asked, anticipating her answer.
‘No,’ she replied sadly. ‘It’s the one thing that’s missing from my life. The trouble is, I work long and unsocial hours, Beth. I’m tired and stressed when I come home and don’t like to do much aside from rest and spent quiet time at home. That doesn’t appeal to a lot of women,’ she told me.
‘Women?’
She nodded, confirmation of what I had suspected all along concerning her sexuality preferences.
‘I haven’t had a girlfriend in a long, long time…’
‘You must be a very busy woman with what you do,’ I murmured, thoughtful.
‘I am. And I understand why I don’t make a good partner. I just…’ she trailed off.
‘What?’ I questioned.
‘I just…sometimes feel lonely. I’d like to become more settled with a home life. I watch my brother with his family and feel like maybe I’m missing something. I don’t know…I’ve always wanted to be a doctor so I should just be grateful for what I’ve got.’
‘Maybe; but you already sound grateful. It’s understandable to want more. How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?’
‘I’m thirty-five,’ she told me.
‘Ah, okay. I’m thirty-three.’
‘Similar,’ she commented.
‘Still plenty of time…’
‘Yeah. I guess,’ she responded.
‘So; have you ever been in any long-term relationships?’ I asked, carefully.
‘One main one,’ she told me. ‘Back when I was training.’
‘Tell me about her.’
‘Really?’
‘Yeah. I’m not quite ready to sleep yet,’ I said softly.
‘Well, this story is guaranteed to send you off to sleep.’
I chuckled. ‘That good was it?’
She laughed and the sound sent ripples of pleasure through my body.
‘It wasn’t the best!’
‘Go on then. Tell me everything.’
She sighed. ‘We met at Uni.’
‘Always the case,’ I smiled.
‘Yeah, well, I thought we were pretty well-matched. Turned out I was wrong.’
I waited for her to continue.
‘She was very attentive and loving and at first I thought that was great. She seemed to be everything I had been looking for.’
‘But she wasn’t?’ I questioned.
‘No; she wasn’t. She became very intense after a while. She began to keep tabs on me-where I was, where I was going and when I was going to come back. She had pretty much moved herself into my room in halls of residence at this stage.’
‘Oh dear.’
‘When things didn’t seem to be going the way she wanted them to, she began to be more controlling.’
‘In what way?’ I asked.
‘She would phone constantly, checking up on me. She used to argue with me constantly if I wanted to see friends at times when she considered that I should be with her.’
‘What did you do?’ I enquired.
‘I tried to break-up with her.’
‘Tried to?’
‘Yes. She was very controlling at that point and even threatened to hurt herself or do silly things if I left her.’
‘Oh my God!’
‘So, I called her bluff.’
‘And?’ I questioned.
‘She eventually backed off…after a few months of her being an absolute hassle.’
‘Oh dear…’
‘It really caused trouble,’ she sighed. ‘I mean, I was in the middle of my medical exams which I needed to pass that year and it wasn’t good timing.’
‘Did it affect your work?’
‘Thankfully, it was fine. I got through it but it certainly put me off future relationships.’
‘I bet it did. So no other significant relationships?’
‘No,’ she told me. ‘Like I told you, I work long, unsocial hours and have had a few dates but nothing that would you call serious. Certainly no girlfriend.’
‘And is that something you want?’ I asked her, curious to know as much as possible about her.
‘I’d love to find someone to settle down with. I’d love a partner, even a family…but I think it’s probably too late,’ she said sadly, staring at the ceiling.
‘It’s not too late!’ I exclaimed. ‘Of course you can still do those things!’
‘You think?’
‘Oh my! Yes! Of course!’
She sighed. ‘I don’t know…life is just so busy sometimes. I often don’t take much time to relax.’
‘Or to date.’
‘No. I don’t like all that,’ she chuckled. ‘I mean; people don’t even go out anymore to meet each other. It’s all online and I wonder about the safety of the people you meet that way.’
‘I know…’
‘So, I’ve told you all about me. How about you? What’s your history with women?’ she asked.
I laughed, nervously. ‘Varied, and pretty unsuccessful.’
‘Oh really?’
‘Yeah,’ I replied softly. ‘I’ve never had a relationship longer than a year,’ I told her, ‘and I feel like I’m constantly looking for something I can’t find.’
‘What’s that?’ she asked quietly.
‘Love,’ I replied simply.
The quiet room was cold and still.
‘Love?’ she asked.
‘Yeah. I don’t think I’ve ever been in love. Not really…’
‘That’s sad,’ she responded.
‘I mean, I’ve cared for people before…but my family background has been difficult and it’s set me up to be cautious. I don’t trust easily and I think I back off in relationships when they start getting too serious.’
‘That’s understandable. You’ve been through so much.’
‘I guess so…or maybe I’m just not the type to have a long-term relationship. I don’t think I’m the easiest person to live with.’
‘Oh really? Why’s that?’
‘Well; I’m always around the house and I can be emotional at times. Other times I’m quiet and introspective. It’s the artist in me,’ I laughed, shifting against the pain in my stomach.
‘You’re an artist? I haven’t asked you what you do.’
I stared at the ceiling. ‘I’m a graphic designer,’ I explained, ‘but I’m also always creating my own art which I do showings for every now and then. It’s slow progress but then, that’s the nature of the beast.’
Anderson didn’t reply for a moment and it was in that quiet si
lence, with the words ‘nature of the beast’ floating through my head that it happened. My mind shifted and my body stiffened in response to the sudden rush of images that came in from of my eyes.
I cried out as the shock of the vision hit me hard. My breath came in short, fast pants and I strained upwards, my body arching involuntarily. In the midst of the flashing images, strong hands held me down and a soft voice spoke to me with reassuring words. I couldn’t contain my fear and incoherently rambled against the black and white flashes.
Within a few minutes, it subsided and my body instantly calmed.
‘Beth?’
I stared into the darkness.
‘Beth? Beth? Can you speak to me? Are you back?’
I turned to look at her in the darkened room, staring, wide-eyed.
‘Beth. I need to get you to the hospital. You had some kind of fit.’
I pulled away from her gentle hands and hurled myself off the bed, gritting my teeth against the rush of pain from my injuries.
‘What the hell are you doing?’ Anderson exclaimed, her voice shocked and shrill.
‘It wasn’t a fit,’ I rambled. ‘I had a vision,’ I told her, pulling on clothes rapidly.
‘Beth, stop. You need to stop.’
‘I can’t and I won’t,’ I said, pulling on shoes and turning to run. ‘You didn’t see what I saw.’
I ran off down the stairs, blind to everything but my destination in mind. I had enough foresight to grab my coat before I ran out the front door but then I was gone.
Running through the forest, my legs pumping rapidly beneath me, I saw nothing but the images from my vision. I ran and ran, panting with exertion, moaning occasionally against the pain in my body. I ran blindly, knowing the way somehow but with no real coherence of how.
Behind me, another set of running feet sounded. I knew subconsciously it was Anderson but I kept running, and she couldn’t catch me. I was determined and resolute. My body might have been protesting, but I ignored it completely. I ran on, in search of the nightmare I had seen in my head.
When the forest came to an end, I turned down road after road, following country paths and small, one-car roads until I reached a field. Up and over the gate and across the grass I ran, nearly there. Nearly there. I ran, panted, grunted with pain and kept going. Suddenly, I saw my destination up ahead of me. The large, stone building had a cross illuminated on the top of it; a clear indication I was in the right place.
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