“What’s wrong?” I ask. Those haunting green eyes peer up at me with trepidation.
“I’m never going to forgive myself for not searching for you. You have no idea how many times I tried and chickened out. I’m so sorry, Riddick. You will never understand how sorry I am.”
“Stop,” I snap a little harsher than I intended. “I could have done the same thing. I knew how much of a lying snake he was. Fuck, Cora, I find people for a living. One of my best friends is a genius at finding people who are so well hidden they think they will never be found. Yesterday, when I saw the two of you, it took him less than an hour to find out that you came here and somehow connected with the Shepards. That you gave birth to a child seven months after you disappeared. That you graduated high school, went to college, and became a nurse. There are many things we could have done; but the one thing we won’t do is blame ourselves for something you brother did. He’s the one to blame; and once I find him, he’s going to pay.” I smoothly slide a hand up the center of her back and tilt her head back by lightly tugging a section of her hair, forcing her eyes to look up so they can mesh with mine. I want her looking at me when she speaks. No more of this hiding behind her shame. It’s bullshit, and I want it to stop.
“Don’t hide your eyes from me, Cora. Not ever again. I need to see them. They are much more mesmerizing in real life than in any dream. Do you get me, Angel?” Her eyes go wide. Yeah, she gets me. I think she likes being bossed around by me. Wait until I get you in bed. I’ll have her squirming, begging, and doing all kinds of things to dirty my sweet angel up. My dick wants to come out and start now. I control his eagerness to play and pay attention to the beauty in my arms.
“Have you seen Jesse at all?” I ask. She shakes her head. Christ, now is the not the time to smile, but I can’t help but tip the corners of my mouth up. She answered one of my top questions without even knowing it. He hasn’t contacted her; for whatever fucked-up reason that sick prick had for threatening her with my life and our child’s, he simply let her go. I know it wasn’t because he cared about her; that fucker cares only about himself. So, given that luck is on our side, and the fact that I have every resource known to man at my feet, I’m going to find out what he’s been doing all these years that he wanted her gone. Everything about this speaks to me in a shady way. That asshole couldn’t kill her for some reason.
“He hasn’t contacted you either?” I ask, needing to hear the words from her to be sure.
She sighs, and her sad eyes turn heavy. Fucking hell, something isn’t right. I’ve jumped the goddam gun. That fucker has contacted her.
“Yes. He contacts me with a birthday card every year. He, um… He reminds me that both Ethan and I have lived another year. For the first few years, I was always looking behind my back, wondering if he would have someone in the shadows watching me, making sure I kept true to my promise, or if I’d get a frantic phone call at school that my son was gone. That Jesse came and stole my baby. Ethan was two years old before my parents and I felt safe enough to take him out. I still hate having him out of my sight, but I can’t be with him all the time.” Her eyes drift off to a place I’ll never be able to join her. Cora is remembering their lives when Ethan was a baby. I can see it in her eyes. Guilt. Terror. So many emotions swirl through those beautiful greens of her. Both of us are consumed with guilt. I’ll never get back the crucial days I missed, but I can visualize them through her. See that he was and still is the most important person in her life. What I can do is make sure that son of a bitch never contacts her again.
“Do you still have the cards?” I follow up with my interrogation, whereas my mind is seething with rage. That fucker has given me more motivation to fuck him up in ways he will never come back from. I want his black soul to bleed. The craving I have inside of me demands it.
“What? No. I threw them away. I couldn’t risk Ethan finding them. It was hard enough telling him part of the story as it was. If he were to find them, he wouldn’t understand. The strange thing is, though, I haven’t received one in two years.” She whispers her words. I hear them loud and clear over the roar of the ocean. They only light the fuse to the fire inside of me that wants to engulf in flames. To char that soul of his until there is nothing left but his polluted ashes.
“Jesse’s in San Quentin at the moment on aggravated assault charges, still has a few years left. They monitor everything that goes in and out of there. That’s my guess as to why you haven’t received one. That’s all I know about him. All I care to know. I’ll take care of him when I find out what he’s been doing for the past twelve years,” I tell her, and I fucking mean it.
“Really?” she whispers. “He should be locked up for the rest of his life for what he’s done. There has to be some law for faking someone’s death.”
“There are laws. But when I said I’d take care of it, that’s not what I meant, Cora.” I watch her eyes enlarge, her mouth opening wide. Yeah, she gets it now.
“You’re a cop, Riddick; you have to be careful.” I ignore her, because frankly, right now, I do not give a fuck who I am. All I care about is her and my son.
“We need to get one thing straight here. No one, and I mean no one, is going to do what he did to the three of us and get away with it. He has to pay; he robbed us of twelve fucking years, Angel. Took away rights that were mine. Took away years of that boy’s life with me. I don’t give a shit what I have to do to make him regret what he did. I’m doing it. You don’t need to worry about a damn thing anymore. There isn’t anyone who will take the two of you away from me again.” I release her and take a step back when I notice Ethan heading our way. Even though I had no intentions of starting our talk now, a part of me is glad we did.
“I have connections, baby.” That’s all I say, tossing her a wink before I turn toward my boy. I know she’ll worry and wonder what I have planned until we have the chance to talk. Christ, with all these sensations running through me, I haven’t a goddamn clue what I’ll do. Right now, though, I need to change, grab my board, and get to know my son.
“I’ll be right back. Let me grab my stuff,” I convey to him when he approaches out of breath, the board in one hand and what looks like a camera case in the other. My heart wrenches when I think maybe he’s going to want a photo or a recording, it comes to a complete halt when he nods at me, looks to his mother, and asks.
“Okay, cool. I’ll be ready. Will you stay here and take photos, maybe videotape us, Mom? This is the first time I’m doing something with my dad. I want to keep it,” he rambles on while holding a big smile on his face. I should be thanking God he’s not freaking the hell out about me. Instead, all I can think about is he called me Dad. For a man who never thought about having children because the woman who owned his heart wasn’t able to give them to me, and now knowing she did, there won’t be a day in my son’s life that I won’t get tired of hearing him call me that.
“Sweet board,” Ethan says when I return ten minutes later. I would have been out here five minutes ago, except I gave myself a goddamn mental pep talk to try and not get ahead of myself here. To take it slow and steady with my kid.
“Yours, too,” I say, looking his blue and white board over then doing my best to keep my eyes intact. I can’t take my eyes off of the woman standing next to him. My angel has stripped off her clothes and is now standing there adjusting the lens on a camera. It’s not the camera that has my attention. It’s the strapless light-blue bathing suit she has on. Modest enough to cover her body, but skimpy enough to show her womanly curves, her cleavage from tits that are a hell of a lot bigger than I remember on display. Her tight ass is modestly covered, and yet I can see she takes damn good care of herself. Her ass is tight, and I’m a man standing here in love with every part of her, but an ass that looks like that on a woman who looks like her is a sinning treat for a filthy guy like me. Fuck me to hell, her ass is as tempting as the sinful body that owns it. I cover my hard dick with my board, take my eyes off of her, and ask Ethan if
he’s ready all the while thanking the inventor of sunglasses, because this kid would definitely be freaking the hell out if he were to see the way my eyes are fucking his mother right now.
By the time I lie down to paddle out, my dick has calmed down, but my mind has not. I may still be a sweet talker when it comes to her, but the one thing I’m not is a young teenage kid in bed anymore. I need to fuck this woman, hard and often.
“Have you been to any of the points to surf yet?” When he smiles, I can’t help feeling like my heart is going to collapse completely. This kid is infectious, and he’s mine.
“A few times,” I say while popping up to straddle my board. “What about you?”
“Not yet. I’m taking lessons now. Trying to talk Mom into letting me enter the surf competition next month. It would be my first one. Henley, that’s the guy who gives me my lessons, thinks I could win.”
“I’m sure you could; either that or start getting more experience for the bigger and better contests. Maybe the three of us can go watch the US Open of Surfing next month. If you and your mom want to go, that is.” He blinks several times until his eyes grow wide, mouth falling open, words stuttering out of his mouth. I chuckle. I think I may be onto something here. Something good. Memories of a lifetime.
“You would do that? I mean, take my mom and me there? That would be so cool.” I want to tell him I would take him anywhere he wanted to go. Do anything he wanted me to do in order to spend time with him. I don’t. Not yet anyway.
“Of course I would. Do you think she would want to go?” I glance up to the beach, where Cora is standing with the camera up to her face, her body on full display, and my heart swells with the hope she’s recording the two of us just sitting on our boards, our bodies rocking up and down with the small swell of the waves. It’s not a good day to surf. In fact, this area isn’t that bad actually, compared to some of the more common beaches, but today it’s the best no-surf day of my life as I sit here with the sun beating down on me, the coolest kid in the world by my side.
“She would totally go. She doesn’t have a boyfriend either, you know. She did once. Seth. He’s cool. She didn’t love him, though, not like she loves you,” he informs me. I nearly stutter. I’m not sure what to say. I respond with the only thing I can think of.
“Are you telling me it’s okay to ask her on a date? Cause I’ll let you in on something, man to man and all. I’ve never stopped loving her either, son.”
“You called me son. I… Mom’s the only one who’s called me that before. Man, this is the shit,” he says, eyes glancing to see what I’ll say.
“Yeah, it is the shit.” I reach over and squeeze his shoulder.
We float, we talk, we laugh, and by the time we get back to shore, we’ve told each other so much about one another that I feel I know him well. Now I need to become re-acquainted with his mother.
9
CORA
“What’s so funny?” I ask Ethan, ruffling his shaggy head of hair when we sit down to dinner. Vivian came home from the hospital with my parents right behind her, where they caught up on some filing about an hour after we came inside.
Now, the five of us sit here eating dinner after Dad grilled his famous spicy barbecued chicken. Ethan hasn’t stopped talking about Riddick the entire time they’ve been here. His face is lit up; his expression is priceless as we all sit here and listen to him talk about having a cop for a dad. It warms every part of my body to see this remarkable boy completely captivated by the man who helped create him.
It took everything I had in me not to ask Riddick to join us after he and Ethan returned. I knew right away my son wasn’t thrilled by the news by the way he raised his voice when I told him it would be only us tonight. I feel guilty for doing so. It’s just that as his mother, if he has questions, I want to answer them with no interruptions. As selfish as it may sound, that includes Riddick.
“I think Dad’s going to ask you out,” he replies, while I choke on the food going down my throat.
I take a sip of my wine, turn to my smirking son, and ask. “Really? And you know this, how?”
“Mom. I told you I remembered everything. That includes you telling me you still loved him, that you would always love him.” He did not just roll his eyes at me like this is no big deal. It’s a really big deal. Even though I would love for Riddick to knock on my door and ask me out, the big picture isn’t nearly finished yet. We have a lot of ground to cover.
“Ethan. You did not tell him that?” I scold.
“It’s no big deal, Mom. He said he loves you, too, and he was going to ask you out but only if I said yes.” My fork stops halfway to my mouth. Vivian sputters, and my dad laughs while my mom opens up the Hoover Dam of waterworks running down her face.
“I told him yes. That he should take you to the drive-in movies. The one where we all went last year for my birthday. Remember? We lay in the back of Grandpa’s truck and watched. That was so cool. Dad has a truck, Mom, and a motorcycle, and he busts people for drugs. I wonder if he’s shot anyone or beat them up. I’m going to ask him. Can I go over there?” I’m numb. Unable to get past the drive-in movie part. My family all stare me down, bugged out eyes and mouths gaping wide open; the dam is overflowing now as tears stream down the faces of all three of them. They better not be tears of laughter over the drive-in movies, or I will strangle them.
I’m not sure if I should laugh, cry my own river, or tell him there will be no getting in the back of Riddick’s truck at a drive-in theater for me. The last one being a lie, since given the chance I would lie down willingly. I say to him without expressing the other two because, well, my son is excited, he’s thrilled, and who am I to take away his right to be with his father? “Maybe you should call and see if he’s home. He said he had to go to the station for a bit.” Riddick did mention he had to check in after being gone for a while. I wanted to ask him where he went; he beat me to it by telling me he was at a funeral for one of his dad’s associates. I told him how sincerely sorry I was, which I truly am. However, I left it at that. I have no desire at all to toss my life back into anything criminal. Not with a curious child, who in a matter of hours thinks his dad is the shit. Well, he kind of is.
“He’s back. I saw him pull in; his friends are with him. Come on, Mom. He said I could come over anytime I wanted,” he begs adorably.
“All right. Let me clean up then I’ll come over, too,” I say.
“You are the best.” He’s up, out of his chair, and out the door without a good-bye to anyone.
“Do you think it’s time to talk about the birds and the bees?” my mom smugly asks.
“Sweet Jesus. I wonder if his friends are as hot as he is,” Vivian says.
“I need to meet this man,” my dad pipes in.
“You guys are ridiculous.” I down the rest of my glass, grab the bottle, and gulp down more of the Chardonnay.
A couple minutes of silence go by before I jump from hearing my dad’s sincere voice. “You okay?” He places his hands on my shoulders, his chin resting on the top of my head.
“Yes. It’s overwhelming when twenty-four hours ago I thought he was dead and now not only is he my neighbor, but he’s with our son. I guess I don’t need to ask Ethan how he’s handling this; he’s already proven to me he’s happy about it,” I breathe out happily.
“Have you told Riddick about the cards?” my dad asks.
“Yes. We talked briefly on the beach. He wants to talk more tonight.”
“Well, the way I see it is, he’s a cop. He has resources. He can also provide protection if it’s needed, which I don’t think we will need. I told you this every time a card came in the mail, and I’ll tell you again. If Jesse wanted to harm you more than he did, he would have already. Don’t let his cowardly threats get in the way of your happiness. If Riddick is half the man I believe him to be, he’ll get to the bottom of this.” His voice doesn’t waver at all. There’s so much truth to what he reveals. I know all of this; it doesn’t me
an I can let my guard down. I’ll never let it down, not when it comes to my son’s safety.
“I know,” I reply, my tone steady. I can’t have them worrying about me any more than they are. They’ve worried about me since the day we met. It’s time for me to try to be the strong one. Right now, pretending to be strong is the only choice I have. It’s learning how that’s going to be the hard part.
“Don’t forget he’s going to ask you to the drive-in. You do know what happens in the back of a truck, right?” Vivian lifts the solemn mood and smirks at me, while my mom rolls her eyes as she finishes loading the dishwasher.
“I don’t want to hear this,” my dad remarks.
I narrow my eyes at her. It still doesn’t stop her from saying what she’s dancing in her seat to say. Desperately.
“They fuck,” she whispers.
“Vivian, mouth,” my dad bites out.
“Cora, just go, honey. Go be with them. We’ve had you for years; it’s time for you to pull your family together.”
“You’re right, Mom, it is.” I stand, stick my tongue out at my sister like a child, turn to hug my dad and my mom, then make my way to the door.
“Ask to see his truck,” Vivian calls out as I pass her.
“Shut up, bitch.” I flip her off and descend the stairs thinking that was the strangest dinner I’ve had in my life.
“You should go see the roof, Mom,” Ethan mutters, never taking his train of thought from the video game he’s playing on the giant flat screen television inside Riddick’s house. I’m in his home, his surroundings. I have been for the past two hours, talking with him and his friends. Jude and Tyson. It’s not hard to see how close the three of them are. Tyson and Riddick are partners at work, while Jude is the brains behind the computer with their tactical team. There’re two other guys who round up the Narcotics Department. Lincoln and Jericho. All of them happen to be single. If the other two look anything like these three here, then I may be in some serious trouble when Vivian lays her eyes on them.
Then There Was You: A Single Parent Collection Page 16