I embrace his compliment and return one of my own. One this man earned the right to receive. “We’ll be over soon. I’d also like to say thank you for everything you’ve done for them. It eases my mind knowing they were well taken care of. With all due respect, I wish it was me who had the honor of looking out for what’s mine, but you, sir, have my loyalty and respect. I’ll never be able to thank you or your wife enough for loving them like you do.” He takes a deep breath, rolls his shoulders, and even though I’ve got a good three or four inches on the man, it doesn’t stop him from looking me square in the eye.
“I’d do anything for the two of them. She doesn’t need my blood running through her veins to be my daughter. Her big heart, her ability to move forward through the toughest days of her life is what made me fall in love with her. I’m sure you understand that better than any of us, Riddick. Now, do me a favor and find that son of a bitch and break every goddamn one of his fingers, so he’s incapable of ever sending my daughter one of his fucked-up birthday cards again.” My chest burns from his man-to-man words. Thankful he didn’t go into some fatherly lecture about the two of us not being ready to move on together. Cora and I have something rare; she knows it and so do I. So does Ron. I’d imagine her mother knows, too. What happened to us, what’s still happening to us, would break most people, completely turn them inside out. Our lives are not perfect. They never will be. We have a shitty situation ahead of us. One I can’t let go south. The easy way out would be to turn all the evidence over to my sergeant, put anyone involved in protective custody. There’s not a chance in hell I could be away from the two of them. Neither my heart, nor my conscience will allow it. In all honesty, my fingers are itching like a bitch to pull the goddamn trigger while the barrel is shoved clear down his throat. I’m a man who can’t live knowing that her brother would still be breathing the same air as her, Ethan, or me.
“I do understand, and I’ll take good care of them both. As far as Jesse goes, that’s a given,” I promise him.
“Thank you.” He looks at me supportively, a verge of wetness smearing in the creases of his eyes.
“Talk to you later, sweetheart.” He releases my shoulder, tugs her in close to him, and kisses the top of Cora’s head.
“We’re going to need to have someone trailing them soon,” I give her this bit of information the minute the door closes behind him and I know he’s out of earshot.
“And I’m going to need to have one of my parents’ associates examine your head!” she yells. Loudly. She places her hands on hips. My cock stirs from her feistiness.
“Come on now, for God’s sake. What did you want me to tell him?” I nod in the direction of the door he just walked out of.
“Anything but that.” Ouch. I take a good look at her. She’s upset. Not because of what I said; it stems back to her brother. All of it. She couldn’t care less about what I said. She wants to fight. To blame someone for her pain. I’m not fucking having it.
“Do you really want to fight with me right now?” I offer, then grab her by the waistband of her shorts. She’s been far away from my touch for long enough.
“No,” she pouts. “What I want to do is know what it’s like to walk while holding your hand. To be able to kiss you in public, touch you, and to let strangers look at us with envy while thinking to themselves that I have a beautiful family. I want women to be jealous of me for the simple reason you kissed me or opened my door. I want to see their mouths hit the sidewalk when they look at your handsome face then to mine, so I can smile when I turn my head to catch them staring at your fine-looking, muscular ass, let them know that ‘Yes, he belongs to me’, ‘Yes, he’s the father of my child’, and ‘Yes, I know how lucky I am’. That’s what I want to do. We can do all of that with Ethan. Take him wherever he wants to go. Then we can go to the drive-in. I need one day, one day to be normal. To be free. Please don’t tell me I have to stay inside my house. That Ethan can’t be a kid. I can’t bear the thought of it.” There I have it, the truth to what this remarkable woman has on her mind. She wants one day without the lows that are going to come with keeping her safe, without a tail on her wherever she goes. If that’s what she wants, then that is what she’ll get. I’ll fucking give it to her. I’ll give it to the both of them.
“You think my ass is fine-looking? Come on, you can do better than that. Do you have any idea how hard I’ve worked for these glutes?” I tease and clench my ass when she slides her hands down to take hold of it.
“I’m serious. No more talk about Jesse, and definitely no talking about marriage.” I stay still for a few seconds, watch her shoulders relax the minute she recognizes I’d be glad to spend the day with both of them. My eyes tell a different story when it comes to the talk of marriage.
“I can’t tell you that when I’ve known since the moment I laid my eyes on you that we were meant for each other. I’m not wasting time, Cora.”
“Shh. We’ll talk about it another time, okay?” She leans in and kisses the base of my throat, then rests her head on my chest.
“Damn right, we will,” I smart, holding her as close to me as I can get her.
Thank fuck she can’t see the truth that lies in my face right now as I close my eyes and inhale her scent. I’m concealing a well-hidden mask. I have a gut feeling Jesse is a lot closer than we think.
17
CORA
“I don’t have to go over to Aaron’s house, Mom. I can go with you and Dad.” Ethan somehow manages to free his mouth enough to spit his words out. He’s on his second cinnamon roll since he walked in the door five minutes ago. I usually try to contain how much sugar he inhales as much as I can. Lately, though, he’s been eating everything in sight. I’ve been striking it up to his pre-teen years, the fact he’s growing. However, today, I couldn’t care less if he ate them all.
No matter what I do or say, my mind isn’t in the right place. It won’t be again until I know Jesse and Cutter are found. Locked up for good where they belong. I washed my hands clean of Jesse a long time ago as my brother. As far as my heart is concerned, I don’t have a brother. I never did.
I really thought I had this entire thing under control; that the way my brother treated me like I meant nothing to him was behind me. I don’t. I’m not sure if I ever will if I’m being honest. He has deceived me in the worst possible way, and I despise the person he’s become. This would destroy my parents to know their son turned out this way.
Currently, the hatred I feel for him has become so profound that I won’t rest until he’s found. I can’t control the chaos of the feeling of destruction that will consume me; what I can do is change the negative energy, the self-destruction of my own mind.
My insides were choking the life out of me until Riddick told me he was going to do the right thing. I really thought he would find and kill him himself. He’s capable of it, that’s for sure. It’s never wrong to do right, and the man proved more to me than words can say. He showed me without him even having to say it. His love for Ethan and me is stronger than the hate he has for Jesse. How a woman doesn’t fall at a man’s feet at words, looks, or whispers that heal you in a matter of seconds is beyond me. I knew I loved him with my entire heart; now I know for sure I love him with my entire soul. A soul that will live past my dying breath.
I don’t care about the money. I want no part of it. None whatsoever. When this is all over, I’ll donate it to the American Cancer Society in honor of Riddick’s mother. I want no part of that shitty life I’ve tried hard to put behind me, and now it’s slapping me in the face. Repeatedly.
“Mom, did you hear me?” Ethan interrupts my thoughts. God, this kid means the world to me. If anything were to happen to him, I would die.
“I heard you, sweetie. You can go to Aaron’s. The three of us have plenty of time to go do things together. Is that okay with you, Riddick?” I ask him in a tender way that has him snapping his head up from tapping away on his phone. I know what the hell he’s doing. He thinks I’m una
ware he’s contacting either Jude or Tyson to get someone to follow us all. To keep an eye out for any trace of someone suspicious. A tiny shiver of fear rolls through me when his blues catch mine. The thought of losing him or anyone I love to the desperate hands of my brother nearly brings me to tears. I stand tall in spite of my fears. My eyes are seeking his out, telling him that this decision is as much his as it is mine.
The minute his eyes go soft, the spark behind them telling me thank you for including him in this conversation, is the minute I feel myself breathe again. He should be included. Not only are we letting our child out of our sight for an entire day and night, but our plans are also all shot to hell. I trust this man I’m deeply in love with to have our son secured and safe while the two of us still do what I intended. Besides, I know my son and his friend will be hidden away in Aaron’s room to play video games the whole time. Not to mention they live in Montecito, which happens to be one of the richest and safest burbs in the country. Just about every home is gated; security is everywhere due to the fact that a lot of famous people have homes through the sprawling green hills. I’ve never cared about people having more money than they know what to do with, until now.
“Of course you can go, buddy. As long as you call your mom if you go anywhere. Just so she knows where you are?” He tacks that little secret shared between the two of us onto the end. Nice save, I want to say. I smirk, turn my back to the two of them, and sigh because this day started out perfectly, and currently I feel as if I take one tiny step in any direction, I’ll submerge head to foot into flooding waters that keep pulling me down slowly until the light above me turns dim, the waters below me dark, leaving me with nothing except my own negative thoughts.
It took years and everything I had to bring my life back into perspective, to see that Jesse had kept true to his word. It’s probably the only time in his life he hasn’t lied. And yet here I stand, my mind flooded with the possibility he could say ‘The hell with it all’ and do more damage to me than he did back then.
I frown upon myself for feeling this way, at the same time a part of me is thankful for the man who loves me with all he’s got. That he’s able to protect us. That his selfless friends, who will be hidden from view, will sacrifice, too. I’m scared for them all. Not one of them knows Jesse or Cutter like I do. Both of those men are crazy. They’ll stop at nothing short of their own death to get what they want. And my brother wants me. I know he does.
“You ready to go, kiddo?” Vivian approaches, dressed to the nines in black leather shorts, matching leather boots, and an off the shoulder black and white flowery silk top. Where the hell is she going dressed liked that, in the middle of the day no less?
“Wow. Aunt Vivian. All you need is a leather jacket, and you could ride on the back of someone’s bike. You can’t ride on my dad’s since he already has an old lady, but Tyson or Jude don’t. I bet they would take you,” Ethan states innocently.
My mouth hits the floor. Where on earth is Ethan getting this knowledge? Vivian places her hand on the back of the chair for support, and Riddick’s phone slips out of his hand, hitting the edge of the table before crashing to the floor.
“Bite that tongue,” I mouth to her. She’s ready to fling some shit. I can see it now in the way she stops dead in her heels by the harmless mention of Jude’s name.
I’m not sure which part of what Ethan said I should address first. The old lady part or Vivian riding on the back of one of the guy's bikes. I don’t have to. I stand back to observe when Riddick performs his first fatherly q and a session, and I’m doing it while smiling.
“Where’d you here the term ‘old lady’ from?” Riddick asks while bending down to pick up his phone; his eyes remain in contact with Ethan’s. There’s humor written all over his face. I want to slap that smug look off. This is not funny. I don’t care about the old lady part. What concerns me is how the hell he came up with the notion I’m Riddick’s old lady. Ethan shrugs before answering the question. In most circumstances, his naïve expression wouldn’t concern me. It’s the meaning behind his words that has me feeling nauseous.
“I wanted to learn biker talk so I could talk like you. I googled it, of course. There are a few nicknames for women who ride on the back of their boyfriends’ bikes. Mom’s not old, but she’s definitely too small to be a back warmer, so I’m going with old lady,” he says unknowingly.
A back warmer? What the hell kind of name is that? Stupid.
“Well, shit. I’m flattered you want to talk like me. Here’s the thing, though. Just because I ride a bike doesn’t mean I have an old lady. If I did, that’s not what I would call her.” He pauses, looks over to me with a slight gleam in his eye. I roll and narrow my eyes. Liar!
“What would you call Mom then? Your girlfriend? Because Jude said that’s what you two are. He also tried to get Tyson to bet that the two of you would be married by the end of the summer.” Oh, Jesus. I’m going to kick Jude’s ass myself. My eyes go from narrow to broadening in half a second, aiming straight at Riddick, indicating he better not fuck this up by belting out the same thing he did to my dad, or I’ll throttle his ass before I do Jude’s.
“I, um. Well. First off, we are not getting married. Yet,” Riddick starts to stutter, but you bet his sweet ass he grabs another opportunity to toss this marriage crap around. I am beginning to think the guy is serious. I need to step in. Put an end to this. Find out exactly where Ethan is going with all of this. How much he knows about Riddick and me. We’ve done everything humanly possible to be normal around him. Obviously, we went wrong somewhere. Shit.
“Ethan. I believe that kind of talk is meant for a gang or a club. Your father isn’t in one; neither are Jude or Tyson. As far as us getting married, it will not be happening by the end of the summer,” I say to him, looking at Riddick and giving him the shut-your-mouth-I-got-it-from-here look. At least I hope I do.
“I know that. Gangs are for idiots. They’re mean and bullies. Do bad stuff. I want to be cool like Dad, so that when I’m older and have a chick on the back of my bike, I know what to call her.” Ethan turns toward me after addressing his dad, his face still showing a childlike appearance.
“Okay, Ethan, well, I hope it’s a very long time before you have a girlfriend when you do call her by her name. Anything else isn’t cool.” He raises his eyebrows at me curiously. I think I’m making this situation worse than better. I go to speak again when Riddick beats me to it. Answering and asking the one question all at once that I’m assuming he’s wanted to ask as much as I have, just not at a time when were unprepared.
“I love your Mom, Ethan. I always have. Are you okay with her being my girlfriend? The possibility that I’ll be around here every day?” I’m standing here on shaky legs, a muddled mind. All of this is moving so fast it’s making my head spin. My child is acting more like an adult than I am right now, while I wait on a bed of needles pricking me everywhere for him to answer.
“I already know she’s your girlfriend. You both told me you loved each other still. Plus, you guys look at each other all weird and stuff, kind of the way you’re looking at Dad now, Mom. I may be a kid, but I’m not dumb. And before you go all motherly, Mom, like not letting me go to Aaron’s now because you’re worried I’m freaking out or whatever, I’m not. I want us to be a family. A real one like Aaron’s, like my other friends’.”
“I’m not looking at him weird,” I say, astonished.
“Yes, you are. Your face is like this.” I stand there and let my mouth fall open as I watch my son’s eyes droop like a puppy dogs, his lips forming into a kiss.
“Ethan Riddick Murdock. You are so full of shit.” Laughter erupts like thunder. From Riddick’s low rumbling boom to Ethan’s little laugh that matches his dad’s crooked smile. Even Vivian, who’s been stunned silent this entire time, joins in with the high-pitched laugh she hates so much, claiming she sounds strained as if she’s on the verge of choking. While I’ve always thought that it was the best kind of laugh�
��one that warmed me, soothed me like honey so many times—I smile through my own laughter that suddenly spills over into tears, unstoppable gasps with much-needed giggles while my heart lets all the pent-up worry out and fills with happiness, starts to beat at its normal rate once again. All from the innocence of a young, little boy.
“That was easy.” Vivian looks at her nails, rubs them on her shirt like the witch handled the situation herself. Ethan runs to his room to grab a video game he forgot to pack in his bag, giving us a few minutes to talk.
“No thanks to you. You stood there like a rock while I tried to come up with what to say,” I emphasize in a raised voice.
“Oh, no, you don’t. I love that boy as if he were my own. That conversation was for you two, not me. I would start locking your bedroom door at night, though. You never know.” The corners of her lips lift in a knowing smirk when the little bitch doesn’t know shit. “You handled it well, by the way, Riddick.” She snorts, totally giving me the brush-off. I know why she kept her mouth shut; she was stunned silent by what Ethan said about her riding on the back of a bike. I truly think what happened between her and Jude is affecting her more than she’s letting on. I can see it in the way the warmth of her eyes has vanished. The way they hold the solemn truth that her composure is trying to hide. She’s crying inside. Hurting. It makes me wonder if words were said between the two of them after we talked. I give her an encouraging smile, an undoubted one to let her know that everything is going to be all right.
“Yeah, he seems good. You okay, Angel? I didn’t step out of line or fuck anything up, did I?” Riddick moves to stand behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, his head on my shoulder.
Then There Was You: A Single Parent Collection Page 24