Behind me the door opens, hitting me in the back. I step out of the way and out of Jude’s arms as his brother walks in.
“Sorry, Mika,” he mumbles before taking a few steps toward his brother, giving him a quick hug. “Libby stayed with the boys for now. Any word?”
I go sit down beside Jim, while Jude repeats what he just told me, and am surprised when the older man pats my knee before he stands up to greet Ethan.
Waiting rooms are always awkward, and even though it’s only us so far, it’s no less strained now.
“Did you talk to Cassie?” Ethan asks, when Jude sits close on the other side of me.
“Mark. I talked to him, he says they’re coming.”
“I thought she was on forced bed rest?”
Jude snorts. “There’s nothing that would keep her from her daughter.”
“Guess not,” his brother concedes before turning to me. “And you, Mika, how did you get here?”
“She drove us,” Jim says for me, and I throw him a grateful smile.
“And she’s with me,” Jude says, grabbing my hand in between his.
Ethan looks down at our hands, then at each of us, but just as he opens his mouth to say something the door opens again.
A tall handsome man, with brown hair, I recognize from his publicity picture on the back of his books, wheels in a pretty blonde woman in a wheelchair. This has to be Cassie; her daughter is her spitting image. The moment she claps her eyes on Jude she bursts out crying. He’s immediately up and out of his seat, dropping to his knees beside the chair and wraps her in his arms.
Her husband shoots me an apologetic smile over their heads before he bends down to them. “We’re blocking the door, guys.”
I grow increasingly uneasy, feeling out of place as the family exchanges hugs and greetings.
“Aren’t you supposed to be in bed?” Ethan questions Cassie when he leans down to kiss her cheek. Her lips form a tight line as she glares at her husband.
“She should be,” Mark says, ignoring his wife’s angry look. “Which is why we’ll be heading straight for maternity the moment after she’s had a chance to see her daughter.”
“You’re a tyrant,” she snaps, but he just grins and bends down, kissing the top of her head.
“I don’t think we’ve met.” Mark turns to me and holds out his hand. I take it, getting to my feet. “Mark Sommer,” he introduces himself.
“I know,” I say stupidly and immediately follow it up with, “I’ve read your books. Mika Spencer. I work for—”
“I know who you are too,” he says with a smile. “I’m a bit of a sports fan, but even if I wasn’t, Kelty’s been talking you up.”
At the mention of her name, I feel tears welling up. This isn’t about Jamie’s heart anymore; it’s Kelty’s heart now. That little girl has become very important to me in a short time, but it feels wrong to invade her family’s privacy.
I should go; I don’t belong here.
“Cassie,” I hear Mark say, stepping aside for his wife. “This is Mika.”
The smile she sends me is warm. “So you’re the famous Mika. My daughter has a bit of a crush on you,” she tells me.
“And she’s not the only one,” Jude announces, tucking his arm around my shoulders.
“Glad to meet you.” I feel like such a fraud as I offer my hand. “Of course I wish it was anywhere but here.”
“My daughter is strong, she’ll be okay.” Cassie pats my hand in hers when she notices the tears I’m willing back.
“Excuse me,” I mumble, pulling my hand back and stepping out of Jude’s hold. “I need to find a restroom.”
With my eyes focused on my feet, I aim for the door, pull it open, bumping into solid barrel chest. Two firm hands grab my shoulders to keep me steady.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t…Ms. Spencer?”
I look up sharply at the familiar voice. “Dr. Cosgrove, I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking.”
“You know Kelty’s cardiologist?” I hear Cassie saying behind me, and I know the ceiling is about to come down on me.
“I’m sorry,” I mutter again as I squeeze by the doctor and rush down the hall, locking myself in the first bathroom I see.
16
JUDE
Shit.
I resist the urge to run after Mika as the door slowly closes on her retreating form.
Dr. Cosgrove looks confused from Cassie to me and back.
“I wasn’t aware you knew—” he starts before I quickly cut him off.
“What’s wrong with our daughter?”
He blinks a few times before collecting himself. “Right. It’s not rejection. X-rays came back showing fluid in both her lungs. It looks like Kelty has contracted pneumonia. The lab is running cultures to see if it’s viral or bacterial, but in the meantime, we have her on intravenous antibiotics. This is one of the risks we spoke about that are a side effect of the immunosuppressants, but we have to get this under control. So far her heart looks good, but we need to keep it that way.”
“I don’t understand, we’ve been so careful. She never showed any symptoms, other than getting tired a lot.”
The cardiologist nods sympathetically. “She didn’t voice any complaints, am I right?”
“Not to me,” I confirm before turning to Mark and Cassie. “You?”
“Of course not,” Cassie snaps, irritated.
“Doesn’t surprise me,” he says. “You’d be surprised how many seriously ill children try to be tough and downplay their symptoms for the sake of their parents. She knows how scared you were, how concerned you still are, and she doesn’t want to be responsible for adding to it.”
“Jesus,” I hear Ethan hiss behind me.
I clearly remember Kelty’s apology in the ambulance. It makes a lot more sense now.
“Can we see her?” Cassie asks.
“Give the nurses twenty minutes. Someone will come get you, but they’re in the middle of a shift change. No more than two at a time in the ICU,” he reminds us. “And not for long, she needs rest. I’ll be in tomorrow morning to see if she’s responding to the antibiotics, and we’ll take it from there.”
A chorus of thank-yous goes up when he leaves the room.
“Am I crazy to be relieved her body’s not rejecting the heart?” Cassie asks.
“It was my biggest fear too, so no, not crazy,” I assure her.
“Let’s not crack open the champagne just yet,” Mark, the voice of reason, contributes. “She has a weakened immune system and is battling double pneumonia. If it’s viral, there’s nothing antibiotics will do and her body will have to work to battle the infection by itself.”
“Be right back,” Dad says, slipping out of the room.
Shit, that’s right, Mika.
“Did you bring that woman to Kelty’s appointment?” Clearly Cassie hasn’t forgotten either, but leaps to the wrong conclusion.
“No,” I tell her truthfully.
“That’s some coincidence then.” Her tone makes it clear she doesn’t buy it. Ironically, it is exactly that. I have to squash the urge to go find Mika, and instead take in a deep breath. It’s time for full disclosure.
“It is, actually. A crazy coincidence.”
That’s when I start telling her about the woman I saw crying in the hallway last December, and five minutes later I leave her a sobbing mess in Mark’s arms when I head down the hallway to look for Mika.
I find her in the cafeteria, having a coffee with Dad at one of the small tables. Her eyes are worried when she spots me coming toward them.
Leaning down I kiss her forehead and pull up a chair from a neighboring table.
“Coffee, Son? Maybe you can talk huh into eating somethin’.”
“Get a tray of coffees and some muffins or something, yeah, Dad? I’m sure the others can use some too, and we should get back to them.”
I immediately feel tension coming off her.
“I didn’t know—”
“I know you di
dn’t,” I tell her, taking her hand between mine. “It’s fine.” She doesn’t look like she quite believes me but she’ll find out soon enough.
“Your father tells me it’s pneumonia?”
“Yeah. The heart’s holding strong, though.”
She drops her head to our clasped hands on the table, and I bend forward to shield her a little from the public eye while she quietly cries.
“We should head back,” I nudge her gently, when I see Dad trying to balance two trays of coffee and a large brown bag. “Before my dad spills a gallon of coffee on innocent bystanders,” I add, and Mika’s head shoots up. I nod in his direction and she follows my gaze.
We quickly go divest my father of the bulk of his load and make our way back to the PICU.
“Give me one second,” Mika stops outside the ladies’ room and hands me her tray before darting inside.
“Caught huh in the lobby. She was makin’ faw the doaw.”
“It’s been an intense day. Plus, I imagine the hospital doesn’t hold good memories for her. I’m only now starting to realize how traumatic this must be for her, Dad. If anything happened it would be like losing a child all over again. I don’t know anyone who’d be strong enough to stay standing.”
“Everything a’ight in theah?” He tips his head to the waiting room.
“Yeah, although it’d be a miracle if that baby doesn’t decide to come early. I’m not taking any bets on Cassie’s blood pressure.”
Mika’s strung tight as a bow when I push the waiting room door open, but the only one inside is Ethan.
“They’re in with Kelty,” Ethan clarifies, but his gaze is fixed on Mika. “A nurse just came to get them.”
“Good.” I point at one of the trays we set down on the table. “Grab a coffee.”
“In a minute.”
Before I realize what’s happening, he has Mika wrapped in a bear hug, her feet dangling off the floor.
“Set her down, idiot,” I snap when I see a flash of panic on her face. “You’re gonna break her ribs.”
Mika looks a little dazed when he sets her back on her feet, and Dad grabs for her arm when she teeters on her feet. “I…I should call Mandy,” she stammers, walking on wobbly legs to the purse she left on a chair earlier.
Ethan gives my shoulder a shove and we both reach for a coffee and sit down, Mika’s soft voice as she gives Mandy an update the only sound in the room.
A little bit later, after I finally convinced her to eat one of the muffins Dad picked up, Mark pushes the wheelchair through the door. The instant Cassie’s eyes lock on Mika, she bursts out crying again.
“I’m sorry, it’s hormones,” she explains, grabbing the wad of tissues Mark hands her before he walks over to Mika, bends down, and kisses her cheek.
“Thank you,” I hear him say softly before he straightens and turns to me. “She’s waiting for you.”
I get to my feet and realize I’m faced with a dilemma when I meet Mika’s eyes, but she almost imperceptibly shakes her head. I slide my fingers along her jaw, and lace them in her hair, tugging lightly to tilt her head back, before I plant a kiss on her mouth I hope conveys all I’d say if we were alone.
“Dad?” is all I need to say as I move to the door.
Right before it closes behind me, I hear Cassie pipe up.
“Could someone move me closer?”
MIKA
I’m not sure what to expect when Mark wheels Cassie closer to me, and I definitely don’t know how to act.
“I know I don’t have the right words,” she says, reaching for my hand, pressing a piece of paper to my palm and closing my fingers over it. “But what I do know is: if not for you, I wouldn’t have just seen my daughter blow me a sweet kiss on my way out of her room.” She shakes her head. “There aren’t words to define the deep gratitude, or the deep sorrow, I feel.”
“Oh, I…” is all I manage before my throat closes on whatever else I was going to say. The truth is, I’m too shocked to react, but inside my mind it’s chaotic. Everything seems to be recalibrating at once.
It’s not until Mark gently urges his wife it’s time to get her checked out in maternity, and they leave, I realize I’m still gripping the piece of paper in my hand.
When I open it, I realize it’s a long strip of graph paper. Specifically, EKG graph paper. Kelty’s name and stats are printed in the top left hand corner, and her heartbeat is illustrated in the steady rhythm of lines.
Swallowing hard, I fold it back up carefully, and tuck it inside my purse for safekeeping.
“So…you and my brother.”
I’d almost forgotten Ethan’s still here. “Seems that way.”
“Not normally a big believer in fate, or kismet—whatever it is they call it—I’m more of a pragmatist, but I gotta say this looks like more than plain coincidence.”
“I know. It’s a little freaky,” I admit, and he bursts out laughing.
“My brother’s never done things the conventional way,” he shares, grinning. “Always a little wild—unhinged at times, if you ask me—always looking for something more. Not that he was stupid about it, just…restless. Even when he opened the Cooker, I always sensed it wouldn’t be enough to settle him. Then Kelty came along, and she centered him. He became more focused on the here and now, instead of what all he might be missing out there.” He looks over and smiles gently. “Then Mom died, which shook all of us but it hit my brother hard, and when less than a year later Kelty became ill, I worried. Up to that point, he hadn’t really been tested hard in life. If a roadblock went up in one place, he’d simply moved to the next. He surprised me though. Because as much as Mark may have been the rock for all of us, Jude was the heart: the dreamer. The one who was able to keep everyone’s hopes lifted. He believed so fiercely in his daughter’s future, that the rest of us couldn’t do more than believe right alongside him.”
“I can see that. Your brother’s a bit of an empath, more insightful than most. He proved that the first time he stopped me, right outside this room, in the hallway. It was only a moment during the absolute worst day of my life, but it touched me in a way that somehow stuck with me right alongside the dark memories. He makes me believe too.”
Ethan chuckles. “I don’t doubt it. He dreams enough for the rest of us.” His expression grows serious as he leans forward. “But you…you may just be what grounds him.”
Jude and his dad return not long after, reporting that Kelty is resting comfortably. Ethan suggests we all get some rest and invites us to stay at his place, but Jude understandably wants to stay close to the hospital. While we wait for him to check plans with Mark and Cassie in the maternity ward, I quickly call the Hilton DoubleTree next door and manage to get him a room.
My suggestion to drive back to the Cape tonight is voted down by all three men. Mark and Cassie will stay at the hospital, Jim is going with Ethan, and Jude and I are heading for the hotel. The plan is for Ethan to bring Jim back tomorrow morning, and depending how Kelty is, at least he and I will head back to the Cape.
I take a quick shower in the hotel room, while Jude orders us some room service, which arrives just as I hear the water shut off after his turn.
“Not as good as the burgers at the Cooker,” I admit around a mouthful, sitting cross-legged on the bed, wrapped only in a towel. “But it hits the spot.”
“I’m surprised we’re even thinking about food after today,” he says almost guiltily, and I lean over to put a hand on his knee.
“I remember feeling guilty with every bite I put in my mouth,” I share. “It was Sam who reminded me that I wasn’t eating for me, I was eating for Jamie, so I could be strong enough for the two of us.”
I see him swallow down another bite of hamburger like it was a handful of nails, but he finishes most of it.
“Why don’t you check in with the nurses’ station while I clean up, and we’ll try to get some sleep,” I suggest.
I hear him on the phone when I duck outside to leave the tray i
n the hallway, before quickly brushing my teeth.
“They just did her vitals and she’s back asleep. Her temperature is coming down a bit and her BP and heart rate are holding strong.” That makes us both smile.
I slip between the covers on the king-sized bed, ditching my towel on the ground, and wait for Jude to come out of the bathroom. The light turns off and I hear rustling as he slips between the sheets on the other side. Then a long arm shoots out, catches me around the waist, and pulls me across the mattress and into the warm curve of his body. I reach for the arm around me, take his hand, and press it against my chest as his face presses into my neck from behind.
I start drifting off when I feel his hot tears on my skin. I turn around silently, wrap him up in my limbs, and let him give all of those to me.
“I’m sorry,” he finally mumbles.
“Hush,” I tell him.
No words are needed.
It says enough that he trusted me to give me both his rage and his tears in a single day.
For the first time in a long while, I go to sleep feeling purposeful.
17
JUDE
“She’s had a quiet night.”
The hospital is slowly coming alive when we walk up to the nurses’ station in the PICU.
The alarm on my phone went off at five thirty, and we were the first to sit and scarf down some breakfast when the restaurant in the lobby opened at six.
I’d slept. I didn’t think I would, but letting go of some of the bottled up emotions from the day in the safety of Mika’s arms helped.
The night nurse confirms what I was told earlier when I called from the hotel to check.
“Can we see her?”
“It’s family only,” she says with regret, glancing at Mika who she seems to recognize.
“She is family,” I state firmly.
She hesitates, takes a good look at us, slightly bedraggled in yesterday’s wrinkled clothes, and seems to come to a decision.
“We have a shift change coming up in fifteen minutes. You can sit with her, but if my replacement shows up, you may be asked to leave while they do their checks.”
Then There Was You: A Single Parent Collection Page 114