She bends down and lifts the last frame, laying it right side up on the bed.
It’s not what I expected. The close-up of Kelty’s sleeping face as I kiss her is much more.
I try to breathe through the sting in my nose as I nod my head.
“Definitely my bedroom,” I manage in a hoarse voice.
I look over at Mika, who is wearing an indulgent smile on her face, as my daughter fills the silence with her chatter. She catches me looking and gives my hand she’s been holding, since we started driving, a squeeze.
“So can I, Dad?”
“Sorry, Princess, can you what?”
“Buy the baby a stuffed animal from the hospital store,” she clarifies, a tad irritated that I’ve not paid attention.
“The baby isn’t here yet, though.”
“I know,” she singsongs. “But in case the baby comes and I’m not around.”
Beside me Mika stifles a chuckle, as I pull into the parking garage.
“Tell you what. We’re a little early for our appointment with Dr. Cosgrove, and I have a small errand to run first, but maybe Mika wouldn’t mind helping you pick something out?”
An enthusiastic “Yesss” sounds from the back seat, as Mika shoots me a questioning glance. I give her what I hope is a reassuring smile.
When we walk into the lobby, I watch the two go into the small gift shop before I make a beeline for the cardiology department. It’s a crapshoot, I’m not even sure she is working right now, but I really want to have a chat with the nurse I saw talking with John Meister last week.
I’m in luck. Although, I’m not too sure the woman feels the same way when she looks up from the chart she’s studying and sees me coming toward her. A red flush stains her cheeks as her eyes dart around, probably looking for an escape.
“Hi. I’m sure you remember me?” She’s clearly uncomfortable, but I don’t give a flying fuck. “You know I saw you talking to that reporter, John Meister. Just as I’m sure you’ve seen what he ended up printing in that piece of shit gossip rag of his.” The color on her face deepens as she averts her eyes. “I also know that was probably not the first time you spoke with him, but what I don’t get is why? Did he offer you money? Did you get paid to share my little girl’s confidential medical information?”
Her mouth opens and closes a few times before she manages to say, “I hit on some hard times. I…John said it was background for a human interest story.”
“And you believed him?” I can tell from her reaction to my question she hadn’t bought his line, but went along anyway. “Never mind answering, I can read it on your face.” I flip around the phone I’ve been holding in my hand to show her I’ve recorded our conversation. “I don’t care what your reasons are to be honest—there isn’t a single good one I can think of to justify throwing a ten-year-old girl under the bus. I will hand this over to hospital administration and let them take care of you.”
Feeling a smidge better, I head over to Dr. Cosgrove’s office, where I told Mika and Kelty I’d meet them.
MIKA
Nerves have my stomach doing backflips and I can’t stop glancing around me. With my kind of luck, someone who’s read the article will recognize me and blurt out something in front of Kelty before we’ve had a chance to talk to her.
“Do you think the baby’ll like this one?” She holds up a cute little pink bunny.
“What’s not to like? How about this one?” I point at a slightly more non-gender-specific stuffed puppy.
The thing reminds me of the little blue-eyed real pup I haven’t even mentioned to Jude yet. The quiet life I was expecting to find on the Cape has been anything but. More like an emotional spin cycle. I don’t know if he has a strict no-pet policy, or whether either he or Kelty have allergies. My on-the-spot decision to adopt the pup didn’t include any of those considerations. I make a mental note to address that one as soon as possible as well, since I promised Giles I’d pick Rascal up a week from today.
“I love puppies,” Kelty mumbles, as she grabs the stuffed animal and tucks it under her chin, while I perform an inner fist pump. “Dad said when I’m old enough to look after it.
Good. Not averse to dogs and clearly no allergies.
“That makes sense. I remember we had a dog growing up. My mom would feed it, but I had to walk it. I didn’t always enjoy that part,” I share, remembering Toby, our black and white Jack Russell terrier, who’d always bark at other dogs and pull on the leash.
She decides on the puppy for the baby, and I pick up a kid’s puzzle book for Kelty, in case she gets bored, and a few magazines and a lavender-scented hand cream for Cassie.
Jude’s already waiting outside Dr. Cosgrove’s office, smiling when we walk in. Whatever he needed to take care of, it left him in a good mood.
The wait isn’t very long, and neither is Kelty’s appointment, but I still manage to build up an army of anxious butterflies in my stomach by the time they walk out of the office.
“Ms. Spencer,” Dr. Cosgrove offers me his hand.
“Mika, please.”
“Certainly.” He smiles and gestures down the hall. “Shall we go then?”
Kelty slips her hand in mine as we lead the way. I hang onto that token of affection for dear life, not sure what will happen after she finds out.
“We have something to tell you.”
Cassie doesn’t hesitate to set the wheels in motion after greetings are exchanged. Since I’m fighting down my embarrassment and using my professional on-camera face to hide my discomfort, I’d rather get it over with.
“Is it bad news?” Kelty looks around the room at everyone, and I realize how this must look to her.
“No,” I rush to tell her before anyone else has the chance. “It isn’t.” I catch Jude’s encouraging nod to go ahead and I take a deep breath. “I had a son. Jamie. He was thirteen.”
“Did he die?” she asks with the blunt honesty of a wide-eyed, ten-year-old kid.
“Yes,” I promptly respond, matching her bluntness as I feel the comfort of Jude’s hand on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” Her earnest little voice almost has me lose it, but I shore myself up.
“I am too. Jamie was a great kid and I miss him a lot, but what has made it easier is knowing he was able to help quite a few people get better. Someone was almost blind, but Jamie’s corneas helped them see again. Other people received his kidneys, his liver…”
“His heart?” Her little voice is a squeak as she astutely connects the dots. Smart as a whip.
“Yes, Princess,” Jude says from behind me. “Your heart was Jamie’s first.”
Her tear-filled eyes dart around the room, looking for confirmation in every face before she finally lands on mine.
“Is that why you like me so much?”
The air is pressed from my lungs, and for what feels like the longest time, I can’t seem to take my next breath.
“No,” I finally manage to say in a firm enough voice. “That’s not why. I’d been really sad for a long time when I came to Cape Cod. I was hoping maybe I could learn to be happy again. Then I woke up one morning and found this amazing little person on my steps. She taught me all about the great white heron, and helped me see the beautiful world around us I’d been blind to for a while.” I lean over and she lets me take her hand. “That, Kelty Parks, is why I like you so much. I didn’t even know about your heart until later.”
“You didn’t?”
“I had no idea. I just knew this little girl who had me look forward to her visits. Then I recognized your father and I knew right away.”
“You’re not mad at me?”
I have to close my eyes for a moment at the tearful worry in her crystal-blue eyes.
“Not at all. Finding out Jamie’s heart is what keeps you alive—this amazing girl I’ve come to care about a great deal—is the best gift ever. You’re Jamie’s very special last gift to me.” I can’t hold back the tears anymore and lower my head.
; “And to me.” Jude’s voice is rough behind me.
“To me as well,” Cassie sniffles.
“Count me in,” Mark adds, not unaffected.
I lift my head to find Kelty’s eyes on me.
“Do you have a picture?” she asks.
“I do.”
“Can I have one?”
“Absolutely.”
She nods thoughtfully.
“I want to hang it in my room so I won’t forget.”
22
JUDE
“But Mika, why didn’t you publicly defend yourself before?”
“Because if it became known that Jamie’s organs were donated, it’s possible I could’ve exposed the donor recipients and their families to the dogged pursuit I’ve been victim to. I had no desire to risk compromising the basic right to privacy of innocent families. As the recent publication by John Meister of the Boston Telegraph proves, some members of our fine profession stop at nothing.”
“Ah, yes. Would you be surprised if I told you John Meister and Emmett Ainsworth, your ex-husband, were fraternity brothers in college?”
“I didn’t meet Emmett until a few years after he’d graduated, so I wouldn’t know. However, it doesn’t surprise me, neither man is blessed with a functioning moral compass.”
“Again?”
I grin when Mika stops in the doorway of her bedroom, a hand on her hip. “It’s my favorite part.” I must’ve replayed this clip ten times in the past couple of days.
On the advice of a lawyer Mika contacted—and to try and keep the focus off Kelty—she insisted doing the interview alone. It was broadcast by two major area radio stations and published in print in the biggest Boston newspaper on Wednesday.
During the interview, Mika consistently avoided naming names and instead stuck to the general term of organ recipient families. The only admission she made was that she’d become friendly with one of the families. Although I don’t harbor any illusions it’ll be enough to keep the occasional die-hard vulture off our property, I’m comfortable we won’t be overrun by the press.
“Come here.”
She raises an eyebrow and tilts her head, but slowly approaches until I can grab her hips and pull her between my legs. Her hands land on my shoulders when I slide mine up her sides. “Jude…”
“Yeah, baby,” I mumble, nuzzling her breasts.
“We don’t have time,” she warns, and I press my forehead to her sternum. “We’ll spoil the surprise if we don’t get going now.”
Dad’s taken Kelty to meet up with Mark who is at their place in Chatham, checking on the house and picking up mail. In the meantime, Mika and I are supposed to be picking up a puppy.
It hadn’t taken her long to convince me. Heck, the woman could get me to agree to anything as long as it made her happy. The moment she mentioned the puppy she wanted to get, my wishful mind translated that into a sign she was maybe considering staying. Here in Orleans.
We’ve been so busy dealing with a new crisis almost daily; we haven’t really discussed any future. A future I desperately want with Mika. She fits here—in Orleans, in the restaurant, in our lives—heck, this woman fits my heart.
I lift my head and look up at her. “Let’s get you your puppy,” I concede, seeing the blush of excitement on her cheeks.
“His name is Rascal,” she announces, a smile playing on her lips as I get behind the wheel. “He’s the only one in the litter with blue eyes.”
She already mentioned this when she told me about meeting old Giles Taylor on the beach, a couple of weeks ago, and getting snared into taking pictures for his ad. The guy is a loner, mostly. Comes into the Cooker from time to time, usually sits by himself at the bar, chatting with whoever is behind it.
“You know Kelty’s gonna fall in love with that dog, right?”
“Yeah,” she says with a big grin not quite getting my point.
“Hmmm, it would be hard for her to let him go.” I glance over and catch her looking at me confused. “Should you decide to leave,” I clarify, blowing out a deep breath.
“Leave? Why would I want to leave?”
“Well, we haven’t really talked about anything beyond the summer.”
“That’s true, I just thought…” I don’t like the hesitation I hear in her voice.
“Thought what?” Another quick glance shows her biting her lip, her eyes on the road ahead.
“I kinda assumed I’d be here, stay here, but if you…”
I swing the Traverse into the parking lot of the Stop & Shop and throw it in park, turning in my seat. “I want you to stay,” I tell her firmly, lifting my hand to her face. “Already I can’t remember what things were like before you got here, and I know they’ll never be the same—fuck, I’ll never be the same—if you were to leave. But, Mika, you’re the only one who can make that call. You told me you came here to look for a purpose, and I guess the question is, have you found it? Your purpose?”
“I love it here.” She lifts her hand to cover mine. “Love the pace, the cove, the beach, the people. I love who I am here. I love waking up early and watching the heron stalking the water’s edge, looking for food. I love that sometimes Kelty’s singsong voice is the first thing I hear. I love your beautiful, bright little girl. I even love your grumpy father, though he didn’t care for me much at first. And, Jude…” She leans forward, pressing her forehead to mine. “…I love you.”
Fuck me.
A sigh escapes her lips right before I claim her mouth. I’m at a loss for words, and try to put all I’m feeling into the kiss. It’s not enough, and I desperately fumble to release her seat belt, and haul her over the center console onto my lap. My hands slide under her shirt to the smooth skin of her back as she moans into my mouth.
She’s staying.
I feel like my chest might burst when her fingers twist in my hair and she presses herself into me, as hungry as I am for full body contact.
The honking of a car horn functions like a freezing cold shower, shocking us apart, both gasping for air. She scrambles over the console, settling in her own seat, looking scrumptiously disheveled, wearing a bright blush high on her cheeks.
“Mika,” I call her attention and wait for her blue eyes to meet mine. “In case I wasn’t clear: I’m fucking over the moon you feel that way, because, baby…” I grab her hand and press the palm against my chest. “…you’ve been in here for a while.”
MIKA
I can’t stop smiling.
All the way home I hold Rascal in my lap, and he’s making sure to let me know how happy he is. His little body worms and wiggles on my lap with his attempts to lick me.
“I know how he feels,” Jude comments dryly, giving me the side-eye. “Looks like I’ll have some competition for your affection.”
I grin over at him, realizing it’s been a long time since I’ve felt this kind of simple happiness. Even just a few months ago, I would’ve felt guilty even smiling. Don’t get me wrong, I grieve for my son every day—feel that hole in my heart his loss left me with in a way I don’t think can ever be filled—but I can’t help feel that somehow he’d be happy for me. That maybe he would want me right here, where I can be witness every day to the legacy he left behind. I’d like to imagine perhaps he had a hand in guiding me to this place, to these people, who in a short time have become so important to me.
“What’s wrong?” Jude sounds concerned.
“Nothing,” I smile through the tears I realize are trailing down my face. “I’m happy, which makes me a little sad.”
He reaches for my hand and gently kisses the back of it. “I get that.”
I believe he does.
“Oh my God! A puppy!”
Barely through my door, Kelty drops down on her knees.
We managed to sneak Rascal in when we saw Jim and his granddaughter were already home as we drove up. Jude had gone in his house to distract her, while I beelined it for the cottage. I would’ve brought him into the main house, but Jude was afraid h
is daughter would assume Rascal was for her instead of my dog.
I just smiled and did what he asked. He’d find out soon enough I never intended Rascal to be only mine.
“What’s his name?” she asks, barely keeping herself upright as the pup crawls all over her.
“Rascal.”
“You’re so beautiful,” she coos, making the dog wag his little tail even harder.
I grin over her head at Jude, who is rolling his eyes to the ceiling.
“Ugly mutt, if ya’ask me,” Jim, who followed them over, points out.
“Is not!” Kelty immediately protests, but Jim is right: aside from those bright blue eyes, Rascal isn’t exactly blessed in the looks department.
Adorable maybe, cute definitely, but beautiful is not exactly accurate. Although an argument can be made that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and the way Kelty looks at the pup, it’s clear right now he’s beautiful to her.
“Can he sleep with me?”
“He’s Mika’s dog, though, Princess,” her dad reminds her gently.
“I actually thought we might be able to share him,” I suggest, almost bursting out laughing when I see Jude’s panicked eyes flash to me. “But for now, we’ll keep him here with me. He still has so much to learn, he needs to be potty-trained. For the next little while, I’m sure he’ll need to be taken out a few times during the night, and you know you need your rest. When he’s a little older, though, and knows how to sleep through until morning, maybe he can come for a sleepover with you.”
“Hope the mutt’s had his shots,” Jim grumbles, turning on his heel and walking out the door.
“Your dad doesn’t seem too pleased,” I mutter, when Jude steps behind me and hooks an arm around my middle, pulling my back against his front.
“Don’t care about Dad,” he says softly, as we watch Kelty roll on the ground, giggling when Rascal won’t stop licking her. “But you didn’t tell me we’d be sharing a bed with the dog.”
Then There Was You: A Single Parent Collection Page 118