I never went to sleep. I’ve been reading on my Kindle for the past couple hours, mostly waiting for Levi to calm down. After crying myself sick, I thought on how he acted, the things he said to me. I’m hurt, yes, but really it was Levi’s way of crying for help. He’s scared and doesn’t know how to process it. Most people would’ve gotten angry at him and just left, said to hell with him. But I know my Levi.
He needs me. I need to heal his heart right now.
Finishing the chapter I’m on, I set the device down on the bed and go looking for him. Coming to the end of the hallway, I notice a light on in his office, the door cracked open. I hear his voice so I go to open the door, but I come to a stop when I hear him.
“You don’t understand. I can’t even stand the thought, Mom. I hurt her so fucking bad. She wouldn’t even look at me.” Levi’s words crack, and I can hear the hurt in them. Peeking in, I see him sitting with his back to me, one hand holding his phone to his ear, the other supporting his head.
“I love her. I finally told her tonight. I thought everything would be okay, but I said some of the most despicable things. I wouldn’t be surprised if she left me. I’m an asshole. From the second she entered my life, Emmy has done nothing but love Lily and accept the both of us, and I just threw that all away.”
Turning around, I head back down the hallway, but this time I don’t go back to the guest room, I go to Levi’s. His bed is still unmade from our earlier session, so I quickly strip the sheets and find clean ones. Once it’s ready, I shut off the lights and climb under the covers. Lying down on what’s becoming my side of the bed, I get comfortable and wait for sleep to take me. But it doesn’t. I can’t shut my brain off, and all I can do is think about today.
I force the tears away and try to think of anything else. Closing my eyes, I have just started to drift off when I hear the bedroom door open. Keeping still, I feign sleep, not wanting Levi to know I’m awake. With the darkness of the room, he must not notice me at first. But when he climbs into the bed, he bumps into me, and I feel his body go still.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I prepare for him to wake me up. But he doesn’t. Instead, he gently folds himself around me, pulling me against his chest. In just a few minutes, he begins whispering to me.
“I’m so sorry, baby. God, I’m never gonna forgive myself for treating you like that. You deserve so much more than an asshole like me. I’m just so fucking scared. Why would someone take my baby? I don’t know what to do. Please forgive me. We need you so much. I love you so much, and I’ll do anything to make this up to you. I’m so sorry.”
I feel what I swear are tears falling down my neck, and it breaks me wide open. Still pretending to be asleep, I roll over, needing to touch him. He still doesn’t realize I’m awake, so I bury my face in his chest, gently resting one of my arms over his waist. Levi has his face in my hair, and his chest hitches with emotion when I squeeze him. Knowing we still have a battle ahead of us, I close my eyes and, with my broken man in my arms, fall asleep.
Waking up, I blink against the bright sun streaming in the windows. I’m alone in the bed and I sit up, stretching my muscles. I quickly use the bathroom and brush my teeth, pull my tangled hair up into a messy bun, and head downstairs in search of coffee. Lily’s bedroom door is still shut, so I assume she’s sleeping.
Coming into the kitchen, I find Levi sitting at the island. He’s wearing his gray beanie I love so much, and has since changed into a pair of sweats and a white tee. I see the half-full pot of coffee in front of him, so I step around the island to stand across from him.
“Morning,” I say softly.
“Morning.” His voice is quiet and lifeless as he pours me a cup of coffee, standing from his stool. I add cream and sugar to my mug and watch him stride across the room to the back slider, looking out the window. I glance at the clock and see it’s only six thirty. So much has happened in the last twelve hours, and I just want it to be over.
Taking a sip of coffee, Levi comes back over to the island, placing his cup down. I turn my back on him, trying to find the right words. The air is thick with tension, and while only about ten feet separate us, it feels like it’s a mile. Our fight last night really rocked the two of us, and I have no idea how I’m supposed to fix this.
With the kitchen island separating us, I steel myself before turning around.
Levi looks worn.
Broken.
My heart aches knowing how much he’s hurting right now, and I can see the pain in his eyes. The normally bright and clear blue orbs are almost a dull gray, and the stubble on his face just adds to his exhaustion. I heard him up pacing late last night when I woke up to get a water, and I now see that he never got any sleep.
“Levi,” I begin, unsure of what to even say.
“Baby.” His voice cracks on that one word and it spurs me on. Dropping my cup of coffee, I scramble around the island and jump into his arms, legs locked around his waist. My beautiful man squeezes me tightly and I feel the warmth of his body against mine.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispers harshly, and I carefully pull back to look into his eyes.
“No, don’t. I heard you last night, Levi. When you came to bed.” Knocking the beanie off his head, I run my fingers through the dark silky locks and bring his face to mine. “I love you,” I whisper.
His eyes clench shut at my words, and he takes a deep breath.
“I love you so much, Emmy. So much more than I thought I could.”
“I know, and I forgive you. I love Lily as if she was my own, and I want to be with you. Don’t push me away, Levi. I know you’re hurting, but don’t try to hurt me. I don’t deserve that.”
“You don’t, baby. I’m so goddamn sorry. You’ve been more of a mother to Lily in the last three months than Dana ever was. We’re so lucky to have you.”
“I love you, Levi.”
I kiss him, smiling against his lips, then gasp when he runs a hand down my back, stopping only when he reaches my ass. Squeezing gently, I unintentionally press myself against him, shivering when I feel his hard length pressing against me. I pull away from him and find him staring right at me.
Levi smirks and then his mouth is on mine, groaning loudly when I bite his bottom lip. With me still in his arms, he guides us up to his bedroom and shuts the door behind him. Placing me on my feet, Levi reaches behind him to lock the door and turns back to me.
With my eyes locked on him, I slip my nightgown over my head and watch his nostrils flare as he takes in my completely bare body. In seconds, he rips his shirt off, exposing his strong, solid chest and that “make girls stupid” V.
Levi Jackson is the most beautiful man I have ever seen. And he’s mine.
Striding over to me, he lifts me gently and tosses me onto the bed. He grabs my ankles and yanks me to the edge, and I’m given no warning before I feel his mouth on my inner thigh, stubble causing goosebumps to break out over my skin. Looking up at me between my spread legs, he keeps his eyes on mine as he kisses up and down one leg before moving to the other. By the time he gets to where I need him, I’m a shaking and trembling mess, soaking wet with need.
“Levi, please.”
He doesn’t make me wait as he leans forward to open me to him, his tongue tracing around my hardened clit. My back arches on a loud cry and my hands fist his hair. This only fuels his fire and he gives me no mercy, sucking hard while running a finger down to my opening. His teeth scrape over my clit at the same time he thrusts a second finger in and I come fast, moaning his name as I do. Levi doesn’t stop, drawing as much pleasure out as he can until I pull him off me, too sensitive and needing him inside of me.
Sitting up on his knees, he watches my chest rapidly rising and wipes his mouth off on the back of his hand. He shucks his pants down and his hard cock bounces off his lower stomach. Grabbing a condom, he quickly rolls it on and then climbs onto the bed, taking my mouth in a messy frantic kiss, and I open my legs so he can lie between them.
“Nothin
g, fucking nothing tastes better than your sweet pussy,” he groans, reaching down to line himself up with my center. Without another thought, he thrusts hard, completely filling me. Moaning loudly, he gathers me into his arms as he begins to move. My ankles lock around his lower back, and I move my hips to meet each thrust.
“Fuck, Em.” Levi groans loudly, pushing onto his hands to gain the leverage he needs. I run my hands up his hard chest, smirking when I scrape my nails over his stiff nipples, drawing a growl from him.
“You feel so good,” I whisper, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion and love for this man. His strokes slow, and gently he lowers himself so we’re completely entwined. Grabbing both of my hands, he threads our fingers and holds them above my head, hips gently rocking into me.
This is my Levi. The man who always makes gentle love to me, makes me feel so loved and cherished, even in the throes of lust and passion. Closing my eyes, tears threaten to spill and I bury my face in his neck. It could be minutes, or it could be hours, but I finally give myself to him and my orgasm crashes over me, his name falling from my lips in a quiet moan. Levi leans up to watch me crest and only a handful of thrusts later, he’s groaning out his own release before dropping down on top of me.
Running my hands up and down his sweaty back, I keep my face hidden, my tears finally falling down my cheeks. Gently pulling out, he moves to my side and pulls me into his arms, starting when he sees my tears.
“Hey, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” He cups my face and uses his thumbs to brush the wetness away.
I shake my head. “No, of course not. It was beautiful.”
“Then what’s the matter, baby?”
“I just… I feel like I’m always hurting you. I’m so sorry about last night, Levi. I wish I could take back what I said. I hurt you and I hate myself for that.”
“No, Em, no. Get out of your head. I’m an asshole. I shouldn’t have gone off on you. I know you’re just looking out for me and Lily, and I can never tell you how much it means that you love my little girl as if she were yours.”
“I can’t lose you, Levi. You own my heart.”
“You’ll never lose me. I promise, okay? God, please stop crying. You’re killing me.”
Lowering my face to his chest, I try to control my breathing, his deep voice in my ear whispering soothing thoughts. I have no idea what is going to happen, and I know my fear of losing him will never fade.
Too much has happened to us for my faith to be solid.
I’m terrified, and I know it’s not over yet.
Not by a long shot.
13
LEVI
It’s been a week since the attempt to take my daughter. Since I almost ruined the most important relationship besides Lily. Emmy is this beacon of light, and I swear, seeing the hurt on her face when I threw those words at her, I’ve never felt like such a piece of shit. I’m so glad she heard the words I spoke that night. To say I felt like a dick would be an understatement. At least she didn’t see me falling apart. I needed her strength even when I didn’t deserve it.
Today is my first day back at work. Emmy’s words resonated with me and I took the time off. And if I’m being honest, I needed it. We all did. Lily has been completely attached to the two of us. My client from that day is my only appointment today, and I’m looking forward to getting it done. He was actually really cool about needing to reschedule, saying as a fellow father he understood completely. We had a really quiet week, and last night Lily slept in bed with us.
Even as a baby, she always slept in her own bed. I know she’s been scared, but even at four years old she’s tough as nails. I’m worried about her, not knowing how much of an impact last week made on her. The police called this morning to let me know there is no update. This asshole vanished into thin fucking air. All they found was a piece of paper with Lily’s full name, her description, and the address of the park.
It turns my stomach and tears at my heart in the worst way possible that this wasn’t a random abduction attempt. This was planned, and the vile people behind it will pay dearly if I have any say in it. Yesterday, with Cade’s help, we found a security company and had a system installed, a camera included. It was crazy fucking expensive, and I hate knowing he helped me pay for it, but I couldn’t be more grateful. Knowing my girls will be safe gives me a peace of mind that no amount of money was an issue.
Sitting in my office, getting my supplies ready, I look up when a knock sounds on the doorframe. I smile when I see Sydney standing there, two coffees in hand. She hands me one and I give her a grateful smile.
“How ya holding up, bro?”
I shrug and take a sip. “I don’t know.”
“They’re gonna find him, Levi. Have faith. I know I do.”
“What would I do without you, Syd?”
“Get your own coffee.” With a wink, she heads back out to the waiting room.
Pulling out my phone, I take another sip and fire off a text to Emmy.
Levi: I miss you.
Em: Miss you more, handsome. Lily didn’t want to go with your mom.
Levi: Fuck. What happened?
Em: Didn’t want to leave me. Cried until your mom promised to get her a donut. Broke my freaking heart, Levi. This sucks.
Levi: I know. But she’s scared, and I don’t blame her.
Em: I love you.
Levi: Love you more, baby. Call me on break?
Em: You know I will.
Dropping my phone onto my desk, I turn back to my coffee, ready to get home to my girls. Emmy doesn’t have class tonight, but she’s working until four. Lily and I will be home before her, and I’m thinking we’ll make dinner for my Em tonight. That way she can relax before doing schoolwork. I want her to be completely de-stressed.
I worked for almost six hours nonstop and that guy’s tattoo still isn’t fully done. In three weeks he’ll be back for the final touches. Peeling off my latex gloves, I roll my shoulders, stretching my muscles. Groaning loudly, I toss the gloves in the trash and clean up, ready to get out of here.
Thirty minutes later, I’m out the door, heading for my parents’. The drive is easy, no traffic whatsoever, and in ten minutes I’m pulling down the long driveway. Parking my truck, I head inside, smiling when I hear the loud giggling coming from my daughter.
Stepping into the living room, I find her surrounded by white paper and markers, drawing to her heart’s content. My mom is sitting in the rocking chair next to her, laughing at something Lily is showing her.
“Looks like I’m late to the party, huh?” I laugh.
“Yay, Daddy!” Lily shrieks, jumping up and running to throw herself into my arms.
Grabbing her, I sit her on my hip and give her a smooch.
“Hey, Lily bug. You have fun with Nana today?”
“Yes! We had so much fun. I love my Nana.”
Mom is beaming and stands up to come kiss Lily.
“I love you too, my beautiful Lily. I’ll clean this mess up. Why don’t you go home and hang out with your other girl.” Mom kisses my cheek and hurries us off. I laugh at her excitement, but I know how she feels. I love going home to Emmy.
As we drive back to my house, I turn the music off and look at my daughter in the rearview mirror.
“Hey, Lily. Can Daddy ask you a question?”
“Okay.”
“What would you think if I asked Emmy to come live with us? Would you like that?”
Lily cheers loudly while clapping.
“Then we can have sleepovers everynight!”
Looking at the huge smile on my daughter’s face, I decide that we’re gonna do it. Tonight, we’ll ask Em to move in with us. I hope she says yes. I know our relationship has been pretty fast, but we love each other. I think we both felt it long before we said it, so why not?
Pulling in the driveway, I see Em’s car is already here, which is strange. Raising an eyebrow, I park next to her, noticing that she’s still in the driver seat. Jumping down, I unbuckle Lily and
then pull Em’s door open.
“Now, before you freak out,” she begins, pulling a baseball hat down low before stepping out of her car.
“What happened? Saying don’t freak out is not a good conversation starter, babe.”
Emmy pulls her hat off, and I notice the large bandage across her forehead. I reach out to gently inspect her face, concern noticeable on mine.
“I’m fine. We had some girl come in tonight, I guess she was high as a kite, screaming gibberish about her daughter. Anyway, I was in the room cleaning when she threw a bedpan. Got me in the face, and they had to close it with glue. It should heal to where you don’t even notice it.” Giving me a quick kiss, she moves around me to grab Lily, tossing her in the air.
“How’s my best girl doing? You have fun with Nana today, baby girl?”
Hand in hand they walk up to the front door, leaving me behind with a small smile on my face.
My girl is absolutely amazing.
“Emmy, Daddy and I want to ask you sumfin,” Lily says, putting her empty cup down in front of her. Together, we made spaghetti for dinner and now that we’re done, Lily is chomping at the bit to ask her.
Emmy laughs and takes a sip of her wine, folding her legs under her.
“Shoot, Lil. What do you want?”
“For you to come live wiff me and Daddy.”
Emmy’s eyes go wide and she turns to me, a shocked expression on her face.
“Please, Emmy. We could have so many sleepovers!”
Emmy smiles at Lily, then looks at me with tears shining bright.
“Are you sure?” she whispers, wringing her hands together nervously.
Reaching over, I calm her hands with mine, looking deep into her beautiful eyes.
“Yeah, baby, I’m real sure. It’s totally up to you, but I’d really love to have you here every day. Permanently.”
Laughing, Emmy jumps up and sits on my lap, kissing me hard. “I’d be honored. Thank you, Levi. I love you so much.”
Then There Was You: A Single Parent Collection Page 162