A Man of Honor

by Bethany Hauck

  “I don’t want to worry you, Mairi,” Hamish McCabe began. “This isn’t an interrogation, but Alastair has told me a bit about what happened on the way here. I need to know if this Lord Thompson is going to come looking for you here.”

  “I don’t know,” Mairi answered, all of a sudden becoming nervous. “I don’t even know what the man wants from me. I never heard of him before. At least I don’t think I have.”

  “No worries, Mairi; we’ll help you figure it out. You have no idea why he’d be after you?” Eadan asked her. “It seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through to find you and bring you to him. Did you and your husband meet him in a town or village?”

  “I’ve thought about it a lot the last two days, and I can’t figure out why he’d want me,” Mairi told them truthfully. “I can’t recall ever meeting the man.”

  “Tell me about your past, lass,” Hamish said gently. “Could there be a connection there?”

  “I’d tell you if I could, Laird McCabe,” Mairi answered, then in almost a whisper she added, “but I don’t remember much of my past.”

  “I don’t understand, lass,” Hamish said kindly. “Maybe you could start at the beginning?”

  “I’ve never told anyone this before,” Mairi whispered, afraid to relive her story.

  “Just take your time, Mairi,” Alastair said, putting his hand on top of hers and giving it a comforting squeeze. “We aren’t asking you to hurt you, but to help you. If this man is going to come here looking for you, we need to know as much about him as possible.”

  Mairi took a deep breath and thought about where to begin. It took her a few minutes before she finally began to speak, once she did, the story poured out of her. “I have no memories up until five summers ago,” she began. “I came awake on the side of a river. I remember hurting everywhere, and I had a large bump on my head. My clothing was wet and I was so cold. John and Malinda Murray found me lying there. They seemed so kind at first. They helped me up and took me back to their home where they nursed me back to good health. They wanted to know who I was and where I came from, but the only thing I could remember was that my name was Mairi.”

  “You don’t remember a second name?” Hamish asked her.

  “No, Laird,” she answered. “I could only remember Mairi.”

  “Go on, Mairi,” Alastair encouraged her, “you’re doing well.”

  “At first I thought they were going to help me. I was just barely more than a girl at the time. I would guess about ten and two summers. Once I was well enough, John and Malinda started having me help around their farm. I didn’t mind the chores, but they had to show me what to do. Sometimes, John would get angry when I did things wrong,” Mairi said, once again fighting back the tears. “I don’t know if it’s because I’d forgotten how to do things or if I’d just never done them before. John would tell me how stupid I was, and that I wasn’t good for anything and they should have left me lying on the side of the river.”

  “That’s terrible,” Flora said, her cheeks flushing red with anger. “Did they look for your family?”

  “They said they were going to, but I don’t think they ever did. I stayed with them for four summers, and I hated every minute of it. John Murray wasn’t a kind or generous man. Then Samuel Grant came along. He was a traveling tinker, and I could tell right away he was no good. He’d say things to me that made me want to get away from him. He asked the Murray’s if he could marry me, and at first, they said no. He was old, and I didn’t really like him,” Mairi said.

  “I noticed he was quite a bit older than you,” Alastair said to her.

  “How old was the man?” Hamish asked.

  “Probably older than you, Da,” Alastair said.

  “Go on, Mairi,” Craig encouraged her this time, seeing her embarrassment at Alastair’s words. “There’s no shame in anything you’ve told us.”

  “They sold me to him,” Mairi whispered. “They said I had to be his wife.”

  “The Murray’s sold you to a tinker?” Hamish said, becoming outraged and bringing his fist down on the table, making Mairi jump. “They had no right to do that.”

  “They said that since they’d taken care of me the last years, they had every right,” Mairi told them, a tear finally escaping and rolling down her cheek.

  “No, lass,” Hamish said to her gently, “they didn’t. So tell me about your husband.”

  “Samuel wasn’t a horrible man, at least not as mean as John Murray, he just thought about himself first all the time. He didn’t really want a wife. He wanted a son, and he wanted a maid and cook,” she said. “He would get angry if supper wasn’t cooked perfectly, or his clothes weren’t cleaned or mended right. Just like with John and Malinda, I couldn’t do anything right.”

  “Oh, Mairi,” Hamish said, fighting the urge to get up and hug this young woman. “You made the best of the situation. Did they at least give you a nice wedding day?”

  “Nay,” Mairi said. “They just said I was his wife and I had to go with him.”

  “There was no priest?” Rory asked. “No kirk?”

  “Nay,” Mairi said again. “He just took me with him that day.”

  “You spoke no vows, Mairi?” Alastair asked her, making sure he understood what she was telling them.

  “Nay,” Mairi answered once more. “Does that matter?”

  “It matters. If you spoke no vows, then you weren’t married to the man,” Hamish explained.

  “But that can’t be,” Mairi said alarmed, as she realized what they were telling her. “That would mean my bairn is a bastard.”

  “Nothing that happened is your fault, Mairi. We’ll figure out your bairn later,” Hamish said to her. “Right now, I’m more worried about this English Lord who’s wanting you.”

  “Maybe he doesn’t even know where I am now,” Mairi said hopefully.

  “I wouldn’t count on it,” Alastair said to her. “You heard what that man who tried to kidnap you said, about sending a messenger to inform Lord Thompson that they’d found you. They knew where I was taking you.”

  “Didn’t you tell us that man also told you Lord Thompson needed Mairi to get what he really wanted?” Eadan asked.

  “He did,” Alastair confirmed. “I wish I could have learned more.”

  “What am I going to do?” Mairi said, more tears beginning to fall down her cheeks. “Maybe I should just leave.”

  “Nay,” all the McCabe’s said together.

  Alastair added, “as long as you’re here at Gleann, we can all help you figure out what to do next and keep you safe. You’ll stay with us until at least your bairn is born and spring comes.”

  “Mairi,” Flora said to her, “can you tell me more about your injuries when you were found?”

  “I was mostly just bruised,” Mairi said to her, a sudden cramp forming in her stomach. She took a deep breath and waited until it finally went away before continuing.

  “What about the bump on your head?” Flora asked.

  “It was here,” she said, pointing to a spot just above her ear. “I don’t know how I got it.”

  “And you have no memories at all of what happened before that?” Rory asked.

  “None,” Mairi admitted. “I have a dream sometimes about running away and men trying to catch me. I just can never remember where I’m running from, or where I’m trying to get to.” Another cramp formed in her belly, making her gasp.

  “Are you alright, Mairi?” Flora asked, seeing the look of discomfort on the young woman’s face.

  “I think I maybe ate too much,” Mairi answered.

  “Are you having pains?” Flora asked, getting to her feet and walking over to where Mairi was seated.

  “More like cramps,” Mairi said. “I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.” Another pain gripped her as she finished talking, this one a bit worse than the one before.

  “I think you’re going to have your bairn today,” Flora said, smiling at her gently.

  “What
do I do?” Mairi asked, instantly scared. “I’m not ready yet.”

  “You’re ready, and you need to do nothing yet,” Flora answered. “You’ve got plenty of time before the birthing.”

  “Are you alright to answer more questions, Mairi?” Hamish asked her. “If the pains are too much, we can stop.”

  “Nay, Laird McCabe,” Mairi said. “I’m fine for now. It’s actually a relief to finally tell someone.”

  “Tell me more about this dream you’ve had then,” he prompted her.

  “It’s just a dream,” she told them. “In it, me and a younger girl and older boy, almost a man really, are running. I don’t know who the men are chasing us, but they see us. The man that’s with us tells us to keep running as he goes another way. We run along a river, and they catch up to us, I trip and fall in. I can hear the girl yelling my name as I’m taken by the current. Then I hear her screaming for me to help her. I try to swim to the shore, but I hit my head on something. That’s when I always wake up.”

  “You might be remembering, Mairi,” Flora said to her. “I’ve heard about people hitting their heads and losing their memories, but I’ve never met anyone it’s happened too.”

  “Do you think I’ll ever remember what really happened?” Mairi asked, then hugged her stomach as another pain gripped her.

  “We’ll worry about that another time,” Flora said to her. “I think it’s time to move you upstairs and get ready to welcome your bairn.”

  “Will you come with me?” Mairi turned and asked Alastair; she didn’t understand why she seemed to feel so safe when he was near.

  “If you want me to, Mairi, then I will,” Alastair said, getting out of his seat and picking her up gently.

  “I can walk,” she said to him, but not wanting him to put her down, it felt right in his arms.

  “I know, lass,” he said to her, “but this just feels like the right thing to do.”

  “Come, Alastair,” Flora said. “Let’s get her up the bedchamber, so I can make her comfortable. It looks like there’ll be a new bairn in Gleann today.”

  Chapter 5 A Wedding and a Bairn

  Alastair carried Mairi up to her chamber and gently laid her on the bed. “You’ll stay with me won’t you?” she asked him.

  “Mairi,” Flora said, “a birthing is no place for a man.”

  “Do you want me to stay?” Alastair asked Mairi, ignoring Flora.

  “Aye,” Mairi answered, gripping her stomach again with one hand, and Alastair’s hand with the other. She just knew that if he was with her, everything would be alright.

  “Then I’ll stay, lass,” he said soothingly to her, brushing the hair off her forehead with the back of his hand.

  “Can you at least give us a few minutes so I can get her into a nightdress?” Flora asked, not wanting to upset Mairi and insist Alastair leave. “You could go get Ina for me.”

  “I’ll be back in just a few minutes, Mairi,” Alastair said to her. “You just try to relax now, I promise, I’ll come back.”

  By the time Alastair returned with Ina, Flora had Mairi in a nightdress and tucked into the bed. She looked so young and frightened that he just wanted to gather her into his arms and tell her all would be well. “Are you doing alright?” he finally asked her, not knowing what else to say.

  “I’m scared,” she admitted.

  “What are you scared of, Mairi?” he asked. “You’ll be well taken care of here. Flora and Ina have delivered many bairns.”

  “But what about after?” she asked. “My babe is going to be a bastard; it’ll never be accepted.”

  “No one will need to know that, lass,” Alastair tried to assure her. “Only my family knows, and they won’t tell anyone.”

  “They’ll find out,” she said, a tear rolling down her cheek as another pain gripped her. “People always find out.”

  Alaistair’s heart seemed to tear in two as he watched her struggle, not just with the pain of birthing her babe, but with the pain of knowing that she’d never really been married. What was it about this lass that affected him so, he wondered silently. “We’ll figure it out, Mairi,” he tried to assure her. “There’ll be plenty of time once the bairn is here.”

  “There’s nothing to figure out,” she said, the tears trickling down her cheeks even faster, “I’ll be labeled a whore, and my child a bastard. I’ve been to enough villages to know what happens to women like that. I don’t even know how I’ll be able to provide for him or her.”

  “Oh, Mairi,” Alastair said, not being able to hold himself back any longer, he sat down on the bed next to her and pulled her into his arms. She began to sob against his chest.

  The longer Alastair sat holding her, the more he realized how perfectly she seemed to fit there. He wanted to hold her and protect her forever. He began to think of a plan, and the more he thought about it, the more the idea appealed to him.

  Finally, she tried to pull away, telling him. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “I’m not,” Alastair told her. “I can solve your problems, Mairi if you trust me.”

  “How?” she asked, wiping the tears from her cheeks and then grabbing her stomach as another pain came. Alastair sat next to her, rubbing her back, not saying anything until the pain went away.

  “Marry me?” he said, making Mairi, Ina and Flora all gasp.

  “You don’t have to say that,” Mairi said.

  “Can’t you speak of this after the babe is born?” Flora asked them both.

  “Right now, Mairi,” Alastair said. “I’ll get the priest, and we’ll marry now before the babe is even born.”

  “But that’s not fair to you,” Mairi said. “This babe isn’t even yours.”

  “I’ll raise it as mine,” Alastair said. “I’m sure if it’s a part of you, I’ll love it as my own. This feels right, Mairi; I really want you to marry me. Tell me you feel the same.”

  “I feel it, but I don’t think I can,” Mairi said quietly, glancing at Flora.

  “Can you leave us for a few minutes?” Alastair asked his brother’s wife and Ina.

  “Do you want us to leave, Mairi?” Flora asked, ignoring Alastair. Mairi nodded at her, and they quietly left the room, with Flora going to find her husband and father by marriage, to let them know what Alastair was trying to do.

  “I can’t marry you,” Mairi said once the door closed.

  “Why?” Alastair asked. “Do you think I’d be a terrible husband and father?”

  “Nay!” Mairi said quickly. “I think you’d be a wonderful husband and Da. It’s me; I couldn’t make you happy. I couldn’t make Sam happy.”

  “What do you mean?” Alastair asked.

  “I don’t like the duties of a wife at night,” she tried to explain, her face turning bright red.

  “Are you speaking of the marriage bed, lass?” Alastair asked.

  “Aye,” she answered, not being able to look at him. “In fact, I hate it.”

  “Why?” Alastair asked.

  “It hurts,” Mairi said. “I hope never to have to do it again with any man.”

  “If it hurt you, Mairi than your man didn’t take care of you,” Alastair said to her quietly. “It should never hurt. I promise not to do any more than you’ll allow. I’ll make you enjoy it if you let me.”

  “What if I never want you to do that to me?” she asked, knowing he was going to change his mind.

  “I’m not worried, Mairi,” he said. “I’ll do everything I can to make you happy and feel safe. You and the bairn. It’ll be my bairn. We can work on the marriage bed in time; I won’t rush you.”

  “I want to,” she admitted.

  “Then say yes,” he prompted. “Please, Mairi, say yes.”

  Mairi gripped her stomach again, and Alastair put his hands on top of hers, rubbing her hardened stomach softly and not saying anything until again the pain began to go away. Alastair didn’t rush her to speak afterward, seeing she was thinking about what he’d suggested.

&n
bsp; “Yes,” she finally whispered.

  Alastair smiled at her and brought his lips down on hers firmly for a quick kiss before pulling away. Mairi barely had time to react, but her face turned red, and she smiled as she looked up directly into his eyes for the first time since their conversation began. “I liked that,” she said.

  “So did I,” Alastair told her. “I’ll get Flora and the priest.”

  “You’ll still stay with me, won’t you?” she asked.

  “Do you want me to stay while you birth the babe?” Alastair asked. Mairi nodded at him, she did feel safe when he was with her, but more importantly, he made her feel strong and brave, stronger than she’d felt since the Murray’s found her. She knew if he was beside her, she’d bring her babe into the world with no problems.

  “Then I’ll be right here until it’s over,” he assured her. “Even Flora and Ina won’t be able to drag me away, and believe me; they’re going to try.” Mairi laughed when he said the last part. “I’ll be back in just a few minutes, Mairi. Let me get my Da, and he’ll take care of everything.”

  “Will he be angry you want to marry me?” she asked.

  “It won’t matter if he is,” Alastair said to her as he left the room, making her worry again.

  “So are we having a wedding?” Flora asked as she and Ina came back into the room.

  “Aye,” Mairi said.

  “I’m so happy for you,” Flora said to her. She really liked this young woman. “Let’s get this babe birthed so that we can make plans.”

  “We’re getting married now,” Mairi told them both.

  “Now?” Ina asked. “But you’re going to be birthing a babe in a few hours, lass.”

  “I know,” Mairi said, as again a pain gripped her belly and she stopped talking until it passed. “But Alastair wants to marry me before the babe is born.”

  “Is he going to claim it?” Flora asked, grinning at Mairi, happy for her.

  “He said he’d raise it as his own,” Mairi said, thankful that Alastair had found her and was going to make her part of this kind family.

  **********

  “You may kiss your bride,” the priest said. It had been an unusual wedding with the bride in bed experiencing birthing pains and the groom sitting next to her holding her hand. All the McCabe’s had been allowed into the room to witness the ceremony. There was Eadan, Ham, Rory and Craig. Even Nessa, who rarely left her room anymore, had arrived and stood next to Eadan as he held their infant son, Eadan Hamish. Alastair pressed his lips to Mairi’s once more, binding them for life.