“I don’t want to be your guinea pig, Dale. If you’re ready to start looking for a real relationship, fine. I’m happy for you. But you’re not going to use me as a test drive,” she stated, flatly, her eyes expressionless.
Now he was more than mildly insulted. “Is that what you think of me? That I’d use my best friend just to find out if I’m ready to get back in the swing of things?”
“Isn’t that what you’re doing?”
“No,” he snapped, shooting to his feet. “I was trying to work up enough nerve to ask you on a date, but now that I realize what your opinion of me is, I think I’ll just forget that idea. I’m going home.” He barely made it three feet before she was standing next to him, her hand reaching out to him.
“Dale, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Or imply anything.” She sighed and closed her eyes briefly before continuing. “Dale, you’ve lived next door to me for five years now. Why in the world are you asking me out now?”
“I wasn’t aware I was required to explain myself, ”Dale said coldly, looking over her shoulder to the door.
“Under the circumstances, Dale, I think maybe I’m entitled to a little explaining. I’m three months pregnant. This isn’t exactly the time for me to start dating, ”Lauren said drolly, continuing to block his way. “Is that what this is about? Is it because I’m safe? Because you don’t have to worry about me getting serious?”
“It’s because I’ve been wondering, Lauren. But, don’t worry. I’ll keep the wondering to myself.” He started to push past her.
“Don’t you think it’s a little late to be wondering?” she asked quietly as he reached for the door. “Why didn’t you wonder before now? Why not a few months ago? A few years ago? Why now?”
“Beats the hell out of me,” he muttered, dragging his hand through his already rumpled golden hair.
Why couldn’t he have asked her before she met this guy and fell in love with him? Why couldn’t he have been the one to…Damn it, what in the hell was he thinking? Was he actually jealous of the father?
He looked over at her, met those beautiful dove gray eyes, and knew the answer. Yes. Without a doubt, he was jealous. He studied her intently, watched as a minute shudder raced through her long body. She turned away from him, staring at the wall. “Why, Dale?”
“I don’t know. But, lately, you’re all I think about.”
“Isn’t that kind of awkward?”
“Why would it be?” he asked wearily. He laid one hand on her shoulder, gently tugging her around. “You already said this guy’s not interested in you or the baby.” He forced a grin and pointed out, “That right there proves he’s a dumb ass.”
Lauren didn’t smile and Dale studied her. She was hiding something. Not telling him something. “He does know, doesn’t he?” he asked, suspicious.
“I already told you, he knows I’m pregnant. He was the first person I told,” Lauren said, sighing, running a hand over her French twist. “Dale, you’re still not making any sense. I’m pregnant. If I were to start dating, it would only be because I expected something to come from it.”
“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t expect something to come from it,” Dale said evenly, meeting her sober gray eyes with his.
“What…” Lauren huffed out a breath, closed her eyes. Inside, her heart was starting to jump around. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, that I’m an idiot for not noticing sooner. You’re my best friend. You know me better than anybody. We care about each other.” He reached out a hand to stroke her cheek. Her skin was every bit as smooth, as silky as it seemed. “And you’re so damn beautiful.”
Her pale skin flushed a soft pink. He was doing a damn good job of controlling himself until her tongue darted out to wet her lips. He groaned as his control slipped out the window. “Come on, Lauren. Give it a chance,” he whispered, hooking a hand over the back of her neck and drawing her closer. He brushed his lips over hers, dying for just a small taste of her.
She gasped, then a tiny little whimper rose and died in her throat as she tilted her head back. “Dale.” But as he lowered his head to kiss her again, her eyes flew open and she shook her head slightly, as if to clear it. She backed up a step, her eyes dark as storm clouds. “What exactly did you mean? What in the world are you thinking may come of this?” Even as she asked, she was ready to kick herself. He was asking her out, for crying out loud. A chance. And she was questioning it.
“Why do women always want things explained?” Dale muttered to himself, shoving his hands in his pockets. The small taste of her rested on his tongue, making him ravenous for the whole feast. “I don’t know what could come of this. But I do know I want to find out. There’s only one woman out there who’s ever mattered to me, Lauren. Until you. For the longest time, you mattered as a friend. But, lately…Lately, I’ve been starting to think you matter as more.”
“Does this mean you’re not in love with Nikki anymore?”
Dale froze in the act of shoving his hair out of his eyes. Slowly, his hand lowered and he stared into space as he asked himself the same question. “I don’t know how I feel about her any more. I do know that you’ve been on my mind more in the past few months than she has. Does that count for anything?”
“I don’t want to be second best, Dale. Not to anybody.”
A slight grin lifted the corner of his mouth. “Lauren Spencer wouldn’t know how to settle for anything less than first,” he said softly. “I want you to go to a movie with me this weekend, Lauren. I want to see if this could lead to something.” He turned back to her as he spoke, meeting her eyes with his.
“Dale…” Lauren’s voice trailed off as he moved closer to her, using his index finger under her chin to lift her face to his.
She stared into his eyes, her heart breaking at the depth of the sincerity she saw there. If this led nowhere, it would break her heart. She started to say no, but a tiny little voice in her mind asked, and what if it does lead somewhere?
No. She repeated it firmly to herself. She was a practical woman, not a dreamer.
“Yes.” The word left her mouth before she even finished reminding herself of how sensible she was. She opened her mouth to change her mind, but a brilliant smile came and went on his face, momentarily leaving her senseless. By the time she remembered what she was saying no to, he had already left.
* * * * *
“Pregnant women do not go out on dates,” she muttered to herself three days later as she slipped into a loosely fitting pair of linen pants. They were one of the few pairs in her closet that weren’t getting uncomfortable to wear.
She topped the pale gray trousers with a short sleeveless fitted camisole style top. She wouldn’t be able to wear it much longer either, she mused, eyeing her reflection. The pale ivory shirt fit fine through her breasts and waist for now, but not for much longer. She was starting to gain weight. The first two months, she had lost nearly six pounds, but she had gained back three just in the past five weeks. Her OB wasn’t concerned about it. The female vanity in Lauren had her cringing at the thought of gaining any weight at all, something she had never had to worry about.
Slipping her feet into a pair of soft gray sandals, she scolded herself a little more. And she wondered over it. Maybe Dale had just been suffering a little mental breakdown the other day. He hadn’t ever shown any interest in her before.
Standing in front of the mirror, she absently reached for the long amethyst wand that Dale had given her, only to drop her hand before she could pick it up. She hadn’t worn it in three months. The last time she had worn it, it had been the only thing she had been wearing. Instead, she sifted through the tangle of chains, selecting a pearl necklace she’d bought on a whim after selling her first painting. Without thinking about her reluctance to wear the amethyst, she fastened the pearls around her neck, turned out the lights and left the bedroom.
* * * * *
Dale was nervous. He couldn’t ever remember being this nervous, not even th
e few times he had taken Nikki out that summer years before. He had loved Nikki so much it hurt, but he was nervous as a teenager about Lauren, his best friend. It was because of how fragile she seemed lately. He insisted it was that and only that. But that didn’t make him feel any better about it. He knocked quickly, tucking his hands into the back pockets of his Dockers. Rocking back on the balls of his feet, he stared into the distance as he waited for her to answer.
What if this didn’t work out? What if he messed up their friendship? Damn it, she meant too much to him for anything to mess this up. What in the hell was he doing? A guy didn’t date his best friend, for crying out loud. Even if his best friend was female. A fine looking female.
The door swung open and he amended that to a damn fine looking female. Only Lauren could make something as simple as an ivory shirt and a pair of gray pants look so elegant, and so sexy, at the same time. Her long hair was pulled back, woven into an intricate braid. A simple strand of pearls adorned her long white neck.
Automatically, Dale’s eyes coasted the length of her figure, looking for obvious signs of pregnancy. The only one was the delicate glow to her face.
“They’re right, you know,” he said conversationally. “Pregnant women do glow.”
Her eyes rolled and dryly, she said, “It’s not a glow, Dale. It’s oil. Pregnant women look like they glow because their skin gets so damn oily.”
“Lauren, you really need to do something about that romantic soul of yours. It gets so damn soppy, you know?”
“You try having the complexion of a teenager all over again and see how you like it,” she muttered, grabbing her purse from the table by the door before digging her keys out. Dale took the keys from her before she could lock the door, locking it himself before lifting her face to his.
Smooth ivory skin, a lush rose mouth, a glow to her face that hadn’t always been there. He announced, “Your complexion looks fine to me,” taking her arm as they walked to the car.
She remained silent, her eyes sober and serious, making Dale wonder what she was thinking, then she turned her face away from him. “You asked me if I was still in love with Nikki. I told you I didn’t know.” He waited until she turned her eyes to him before he asked, “Do you still love the baby’s father? Is this a waste of my time?”
The question had been plaguing him ever since she had agreed to go out with him.
Calmly, so very calmly, Lauren smiled. “I never said that I loved him.”
He eyed her suspiciously.
She returned his look levelly. “Dale, you didn’t love every woman you slept with, now did you?” she asked, an amused smile playing at her lips. “You should know better than anybody, love isn’t a requirement for sex.”
He opened his mouth only to snap it shut as she continued to stand there watching him with that sly little female smile, her eyes all but dancing with amusement. Irritated, but unsure why, he jerked the car door open for her without speaking.
It never occurred to him that she hadn’t answered his question.
* * * * *
Lauren’s stomach was dancing wildly and it had nothing to do with morning, or evening, sickness. She sat across a dimly lit table from Dale, her hand resting in his as he played with her fingers. Her short, neatly trimmed nails, painted a soft, pale pink, her long slender artists’ hand, the narrow palm, all received equal attention as he studied and stroked her hand as they waited for their dinner.
She was on her third glass of ice water, no lemon, when Dale raised his eyes to hers as she lowered the half empty glass. Her throat was drier than the Sahara, thanks to the dubious pleasure of her hand in his. Those wicked blue eyes were now studying her face, so full of concern, so gentle, it made her chest ache.
“How are you feeling? Not sick any more?”
“What?” she asked, still looking at her hand in his. She jerked her eyes up and replied, “Ah, no. I haven’t been sick for a few weeks now. Almost a month.”
“When do you go to the doctor again?”
“Monday,” she answered, casually drawing both hands into her lap, fisting them there. Her heart was racing madly, just from holding hands. “I’m still only going once a month right now.”
“Everything’s fine, right? Your doctor doesn’t think you’ll have any trouble?”
“No. I’m young and healthy. I’ve always taken care of myself. There is no reason for there to be any trouble.”
He dropped his eyes, idly rubbing his index finger across the smooth linen tablecloth. “I’ve been wondering. About the classes you’re supposed to go to. You’re going to need a coach.”
Her eyes flew up to his, only to find him studying the tablecloth with intensity. “I’ll find somebody.”
“Why settle for somebody? I live right next door. I can be there in no time flat if you need me. I don’t have to worry about leaving work or anything like that. My time is my own.”
Swallowing the knot in her throat, Lauren asked, “Why would you want to?”
“Because it’s your baby. You’re going to need somebody with you, at least for a while. I want to be the one.”
“Do you have any idea what it is you’re asking?” Lauren asked. “Childbirth is messy. It’s painful. I’m not going to be in a good mood.”
“I’ve seen you upset before,” Dale said mildly. He leaned closer, watching her. “Lauren, you matter to me. I care about you, and your baby. I want to help. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and I know I want to do this.”
Staring into those slumberous eyes, Lauren felt her heart begin to swell, felt herself begin to hope. Something was changing here, she realized. Something very important. “If you’re certain, Dale,” she said, keeping her voice level through sheer will alone.
* * * * *
Lauren didn’t realize when he had offered to be her coach that he wanted more than just that. Until she was sitting in the car next to him, directing him to her OB’s office, she didn’t realize how much he wanted to be a part of her entire pregnancy. She was signing herself in at the window when she caught his eyes on a couple across the room. The obviously happy father-to-be had his hand resting on the swollen belly of the woman. Both looked blissfully happy.
And the look in Dale’s eyes was wistful and envious.
He wanted a family. No matter what he said, or what he thought he wanted, he wanted a family of his own.
Lauren’s hand crept up to rest on her still flat belly as he led her to a seat. She was going to have to tell him.
She took a deep bracing breath, telling herself she had to do it, while she had the nerve. He was idly tracing a design over the back of her hand with a roughened index finger, sending goose bumps dancing across her skin.
Oh, he was going to be so angry. What if I lose him? she wondered. Could she handle it if he turned away from her? Oh, he’d never abandon the baby, but what if it killed whatever feelings he had for her?
Now, Lauren, she told herself. Whatever it cost her, it was the right thing to do.
But when he turned those sexy eyes her way, smiled so gently at her, she decided to wait. Who knew what could happen in the next few months?
The nurse called her back and Lauren rose, started to walk to the door, and paused. Looking back over her shoulder, she held her hand out and said, “Why don’t you come back with me?”
Dale tried to act casual about it but his eyes lit up and his hand folded over hers so tightly, Lauren wondered if he was going to turn loose. As the nurse directed her to stand on the scale, she shot a warning glare at him. “Say absolutely nothing,” she told him. “Forget this part.”
The nurse chuckled and jotted down her weight. “One fifty six,” she announced cheerfully. “You’ve gained back what you lost. Not getting sick any more?”
“No,” Lauren answered, stepping off the scale. As they followed the nurse back to the exam room, she slid Dale a look out of the corner of her eye. He was staring straight ahead, mouth set in somber lines. But the twi
nkle in his eyes gave his amusement away.
After having her blood pressure checked and peeing in the little cup, Lauren was instructed to sit on the table. “Dr. Flynn will try to hear the heart beat today,” the nurse said on her way out the door.
“They can do that?” Dale asked, awed.
“Yes. I think it’s something like an ultrasound.” She plucked at a loose thread on her lightweight sweater. “Dale, she’s probably going to think you’re the father.” She kept her eyes on her legs as she spoke, so he wouldn’t see the truth in her eyes.
He shrugged, his movement casual, a complete opposite of how he felt inside. The father, he thought to himself. He should be running scared right now. So why did he want to go over to her, fall to his knees and wrap his arms around her, bury his face against her still flat belly? “I don’t mind,” was all he said out loud, while inside his mind shouted I want to be the father.
Did he really?
Was he that serious about this?
Lauren raised her head, her cheeks pink. “I mean, I’ll tell her you’re going to be my coach, but she-”
He got up then, walked over to her, laid his finger across her lips. Her soft gray eyes stared into his as he laid one hand on her belly. “I don’t mind,” he repeated softly, and he stroked her belly through her clothes. Lowering his head, he covered her mouth with his.
Why did she taste so familiar? he wondered. As a moan rose up in her throat and shimmered out into him, he wondered how he knew she would do that. She fit against him as though she had been made just for him. Was it because this was what he had been looking for, that she was the one meant for him? A gentle knock sounded at the door as he pulled away from her. Right as the door opened, he repeated in her ear, “I don’t mind.”
That was as close as he could come to saying what he really wanted.
As Lauren had expected, Dr. Flynn treated Dale as though he were the father. When she tried to correct the doctor, Dale squeezed her hand before neatly cutting her off with a series of questions.
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