And I wanted him to snap.
I wanted him to take me.
And I was too afraid to ask.
But the longer I stood there with his arms wrapped around me, pinning me against his body, the more intensely mine pulsed with need, making it impossible to stand still.
I shook with it.
And there we stood.
My back to his front.
No words were spoken.
And then his teeth tugged at my right earlobe, his lips wet as he spoke against my ear in Russian. I had no idea what he said, but for some reason, it made me hot, because it sounded hot. I was so screwed when it came to him, literally.
“Beg.”
“No.”
“Beg.” He tugged harder, “Your time’s running out. If this is really our last night, I’m going to make it so memorable that you can’t help but think about me every second of every day, that you physically hurt for my touch, that you think of my fingers inside you, you think of my mouth sucking you, my tongue devouring you, my dick filling you…”
I let out the breath I’d been holding, my voice was shaky. “Please.”
I almost whimpered when a ripping noise had my underwear falling to my feet in a flutter, my ass bared to him, my entire vulnerable body bared to him. And then he was flipping me around, ducking his head and my legs wrapped around his face.
Down I went.
Down he went.
I fell across the bed, and his mouth managed to stay lodged between my legs as he gave one brutal swipe of his tongue. But then he drew back and said, “Not good enough.”
I clenched the sheets in my hands, desperate to grab onto something. “Please!”
“Please, what?” He had a full view of all of me, and he looked like a man who’d just won the lottery.
I gulped at his full mouth, glistening from me, from what he had done to me just by standing behind me. It would be embarrassing if I wasn’t in almost physical pain to have him keep going.
“Please.” I locked eyes with him. “Valerian.”
Eyes wild with a feral glint, he lowered his head, and I nearly lost consciousness as he swiped his tongue, then used his fingers, finding every single sensitive spot that could drive a woman insane.
“More, please more!” Maybe begging wasn’t such a bad idea if this was the outcome over time?
Valerian stopped.
“Why the hell are you stopping?” I was going to murder him dead!
He grinned up at me. “Because I like you angry.”
“I will literally pull a gun on you!”
I had one in my dresser.
He smirked.
I narrowed my eyes.
And then I lunged for my dresser, but he tackled me to the floor. The gun went tumbling, but I noticed that the knife I kept hidden under my bed beckoned.
“Oooo…” Valerian pinned my wrists above my head. “Not so fast, we wouldn’t want to get blood on the carpet.”
“Oh, we really would.” I clenched my teeth.
He leaned down to kiss me.
I fought him.
But it was impossible not to respond as he covered my body with his heavily muscled one. And then he was shimmying out of his jeans, tugging them down with one hand while holding me in place.
I squirmed beneath him and glared when he stopped kissing me for a few minutes and whispered, “You’re glorious. You know that, right?”
“Because I fight you? Or because you piss me off?”
“Because I see you.” He sobered. “I’ve only ever seen you, not the girl you want others to see, but the angry one who just wants to be heard, who wants her own life, the life I can share with her.” And then he was kissing me again, and my mind grew more muddled.
Because he was right.
He was hot and hard against my thigh, I tried to move my body to inch closer, but he just laughed against my mouth and then. “Do you need me?”
“Yes.” I tried to move my arms.
“Good.” He released me, and all hell broke loose, between me scratching his back in a vain effort to get closer, and him kicking off the rest of his jeans while still trying to claim my mouth in between.
We joined in an ugly tangle of moans and bodies sliding together. His first thrust filled me completely, his second almost sent me over the edge, and then he moved faster like he couldn’t help himself, his eyes almost frenzied as he leaned over and kissed me.
Closer, I needed to be closer.
But we were as close as two people could get.
And still, I craved more.
“You’re mine, Violet.” His voice was hoarse, his eyes drilling into me. “No matter what happens, you’ll always be mine.”
I moaned as his hips drove forward.
Gazes collided, locked.
I watched him own me.
And I felt a small part of myself give in.
And that small part was enough for me to experience the most mind-blowing orgasm I’d ever had.
And enough for me to scream his name.
“Valerian!” It was out before I could stop it.
He went over the edge so hard that I felt him pulsing inside me like a million tiny heartbeats.
He didn’t know. He was mine too. I was just too scared to say it, and too broken to confirm what he already knew.
I loved him.
I loved Valerian Petrov.
The new Petrov king.
And I only had four more hours to show him before he went back alone, and I stayed in Chicago with my distrust and broken heart.
I was a fool if I ever thought he would let me go.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Falling in love with your best friend is distracting, it’s terrifying, like falling out of an airplane and hoping they remembered the chute. —Valerian Petrov
Valerian
Vi always had a taste.
Most people focus on smell.
But the way she tasted always felt like home to me; even when I took her virginity, it was what I focused on.
The fact that she tasted like she always did.
Like she was mine.
Like she was just waiting for me to love her.
I could give her a million reasons why I’d believed it had been okay to hide my secrets, but the one truth that remained was that she was right—I should have trusted her with this a long time ago, but a part of me wondered if she would have hated me even then just like King did. For knowing that one day I would go away.
And come back different.
One day, I would have no choice.
I’d had to live with that sword hanging over me, but I’d wanted our friendship to be pure, untainted by a future I’d despised.
I sighed and pressed a kiss to her neck then slowly pulled out of her. Her chest was heaving, her eyes filled with tears like she wanted to cry or maybe just scream at me for loving her.
Good, let her scream.
Instead, she just stumbled to her feet and mumbled something about needing a shower.
I followed her.
Didn’t she know? I would always follow her.
She turned on the spray, and even though I’m sure it was freezing, she stepped under it. With a sigh, I opened up the glass door and followed.
Her back was to me, but her shoulders were shaking.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “Does it matter that I love you? That I would die for you?”
“It used to.” She sniffled. “And now I just… I think I need time. Time to process the last two weeks of my life, time to process a future with you, time to just… have a day where my heart and my head aren’t at war with each other.”
“I can give you time.” Slowly I reached for her, turning her around until she was facing me, even with her teeth chattering, tears streaming down her cheeks, and her wet hair plastered to her face; she was stunning.
I pulled her into my arms. Kissing my way down her neck. Thankful that she was letting me love her with my body since she no lon
ger trusted my words. Her soft sighs were all the encouragement I needed as my mouth moved to hers. The water finally started to warm as it poured over us like a summer rain. My tongue slid past her parted lips as she clung to my shoulders, her breasts pressed against my chest.
I broke away from her just long enough to move my kisses down her neck to her chest, and then I knelt in front of my queen. Gripping her hips with my hands, mentally begging her to tell me to stay, pleading with her to get in that car with me and never look back.
I held on to her hips for what felt like hours, nothing but the sounds of our own breathing and the splatter of water in the steam-filled the shower. I rested my head against her stomach as she ran her hands through my hair. My submission didn’t matter, did it? My worship? My dedication? I would always be the man who had been baptized in fire, hidden away and resurrected at the wrong time, for a purpose that was necessary in order to be with the one person who didn’t see it that way.
I sighed against her skin. The water was starting to chill again. Slowly I rose, wishing she would have chosen that moment to say something that told me things were going to be different. Instead, tears slid down her cheeks in rapid succession as I pulled her in for a hug.
She laid her head against my chest.
And I knew, in that moment, if this was all I got from Violet, I would take it. Just her resting her head against my chest, trusting me to hold her, to love her, to protect her.
And just like the Polar Bear King, if I only had her nights, if I only had her body. If I only got fractions of her love—I would be satisfied, and I would fight every single war to make it to her during those times, to steal those minutes of her love and hold them in my heart forever.
She pulled away from me briefly, her eyes searching mine, and then she cupped my head between her hands and pressed a chaste kiss to my mouth. “I do.”
“You do?” It hurt to breathe, it hurt to exist.
“I do,” she repeated, “take you…” Her lips were swollen from all of our kissing. “Valerian Petrov…” Her voice shook. “…as my husband.” She moved to her knees and took me in her mouth briefly before pulling back and whispering. “As my king.”
My heart fucking burst in my chest as her mouth covered me, her head bowed to me, her lips claiming me.
And just like before, when she first touched me.
I didn’t last long.
Maybe it was the hunger mixed with innocence in her eyes, or maybe it was just something about her.
“Vi—” I shot down her throat. My knees sagged, and I steadied myself with a hand on the wall.
She licked her lips and then looked up and whispered, “My Valerian.”
“My Violet.” I rasped.
“In the story…” She rose and wrapped her arms around my neck. “After the queen saved her king, did they live happily ever after?”
“Happily ever after’s boring, Violet.” My lips tugged into a smile. “Don’t you want an adventure?”
Her blue eyes locked on to me. “I think I’d be happy with a little less adventure, after all of this.”
I smiled, tracing my fingertip over her lips. “Yeah, I can see why.”
“So?”
“So, I promise to give my queen whatever she needs.”
“Violet Petrov.” She said it like she was testing the name.
“Mine,” I said simply.
Her jaw flexed as I reached behind her, turned off the water, and then opened the shower door to grab her a towel wrapping it around her shivering body and then grabbing one for myself.
“I gave you four nights,” she said in a small voice. “So, give me three days.”
My heart jumped in my chest. “Three days?”
She smiled slowly. “Give me three days to say goodbye to my family. I never got to before. I need to pack, I need to process like I said, but after three days, after I talk to my dad…”
I was ready to fall at her feet in worship. “After all of that…”
“I’ll see you in Seattle.”
I let go of the shaky breath I’d been holding, and then I was jerking her towel from her body and tossing her onto the bed as my own towel dropped to the floor.
She smiled against my mouth.
It was going to be okay.
We were going to be okay.
I pulled the covers up around her body and held her close.
She fell asleep in my arms, exhausted.
When midnight struck, I kissed her on the cheek, put on my clothes, and made my way back down the stairs.
I should have known he would be sitting there.
Glock in one hand.
Serrated knife in the other.
The kitchen light was dim over his head as he tapped the knife against his thigh like he was counting the seconds until he could slit my throat.
“Chase.” I gritted my teeth and pulled out a chair and sat.
Luc and Ash weren’t going to save me from this one.
I was in this alone.
And if he wanted blood.
He would get blood.
“How is she?” He didn’t look up, just kept tapping his knife against his thigh. Shit.
How to answer? Satisfied? Smiling? Fucking delicious? “She’s better.”
“That’s not what I asked.” Slowly he lifted his head, cold blue eyes locked onto me. “How. Is. She?”
“Strong,” I said in a clipped voice. “Beautiful.” I crossed my arms. “Claimed, and no longer yours.”
He jumped to his feet, kicking his chair back in the process, chest heaving.
I tilted my head. “Are we doing this here? Now? How much of my blood do you think you need to spill to feel better about all of this? She’s legally bound to me, and you can’t do shit about it.”
“You little shit!” Chase spat. “Do you know what you’ve done? You’ve taken everything from her! Everything I’ve built! Her life was not supposed to go in this direction! She had a plan, she had—”
I held up my hand. “You mean you had a plan, and I ruined it.”
He gritted his teeth. “You gave her no fucking choice!”
“I saved your fucking life! Not to mention your family!” I roared, jumping to my feet and gripping his shirt with my right hand, knowing he had his gun trained on me, and the knife was at my throat. “You would be dead if I didn’t do what I did. So maybe stop with the theatrics and the yelling and say thank you. Then again, you don’t have a humble bone in your body!”
He sneered. “Humility gets you killed, you know this just as much as I do, Petrov.”
“I can’t help what I am, Chase, but I do love her, more than anything, because, at the end of the day, I was the one willing to make the sacrifice to have her, and sometimes I wonder if you would do the same. Or is your precious career more important? Your connections? What people think? I didn’t steal her, I protected her when you couldn’t. I didn’t destroy her future, I made sure she fucking had one.”
I let go of him.
Slowly he lowered the knife, his eyes haunted.
The gun clattered to the floor, and then he slumped into his chair, resting his head in his hands like he was broken. “She’s my baby.”
“And now she’s mine,” I whispered. “But that doesn’t make her any less yours; she’s still Abandonato through and through, as proven when she tried to beat the shit out of me earlier today.”
He lifted his head and smiled. “Violet’s too tame for that.”
“Tell that to my throat after getting punched.”
His grin widened. “Good girl, I taught her that.”
“Yeah, it felt like it.”
He looked away. “I didn’t want you for her.”
It stung, but I knew the truth. “Sometimes I don’t even want me for her. She’s too good for me for this life.”
He nodded and then pulled out another knife.
Great. My nerves were already shot. People didn’t just talk back to Chase and live to tell about it. Alread
y I knew I wasn’t going to escape out something broken and was bracing for the pain.
Shock rippled through me when he sliced across his hand and held it out. “My loyalty…” He lifted his head, voice firm. “To the new Petrov boss.”
He handed me the knife with his other hand.
The knife was sharp, and I felt little more than a quick sting as I made the same cut the bosses always made when showing fealty to the other bosses. I waited for the blood to well along the thin line, and then I shook his hand, our blood mixing, our loyalty no longer divided.
Out of all of the men that I now called equals, out of all the powerful men, I didn’t expect Chase to be the first to humble himself and show me his allegiance.
Then again, I hadn’t expected him not to kill me.
My throat felt like it wasn’t working as we both dropped our hands to our sides, and then he was pulling out a bottle of whiskey and pouring us both small glasses. “I was going to kill you tonight.”
“That’s a fun story, please tell me more,” I said dryly.
His lips pressed into an amused smile. “The night’s still young.”
“Cheers.” I lifted my glass and clinked it against his, but we both knew, it was an empty threat. Now that we had shaken hands, he would die to protect me, and I would die to protect him.
It was the first time in my life, I realized, that I felt like the king I was, as I dusted off my dirty crown, and took my seat next to the powerful Abandonato line, no longer hiding in the crowd, but sitting on my deserved throne.
And damn if it didn’t feel good.
Chapter Thirty
Love feels like something inside of you is breaking at least ninety percent of the time, and the only ointment is usually the person that’s doing the breaking. —Valerian Petrov
Violet
I woke up to the smell of bacon, eggs, and coffee. My body was sore from Valerian, and for some reason, that brought a smile to my lips. In the bathroom, when I glimpsed myself in the mirror, I paused and studied my reflection. I looked… different.
My mouth was swollen, I had a few bruises on my hips from where he’d grabbed me, but they were light, and I liked that his hands had been on me, marking me, holding me, making me beg.
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