“I hate you.” Eyes wild, he reached for my hair and twisted it around his fingertips like he’d always done. This time it was almost painful as he tugged and then clenched his teeth. “Fuck me.”
“Say please.” I bit down on my lower lip.
“Please, Violet, make me yours…”
I pulled away from him long enough to strip naked as he kicked off his briefs and waited for me.
“You were mine as him, and you’re mine now. You’ve always been mine,” I said, voice strained. “Always.”
He reached for me.
The minute I gripped his hand, he was pulling me on top of him. Our mouths met in an explosion of fireworks as I straddled him and then positioned myself on top of him.
He let out a satisfied groan when I sank onto him and started moving my hips. “This…” He gripped my hips, slowing my movements. “This is what I want every second of every day. You and me like this.”
“We’d never get anything done.” I smiled down at him as his hands slid up from my hips to my breasts and down again like he couldn’t decide what to focus on.
“That’s completely—” His lips parted with a curse. “Fine.”
“You okay, Valerian?”
“No.” He swore again. “You’re perfect, and I’m dying all over again. This is… everything.” He gripped my ass and squeezed as he thrust into me like an animal unleashed.
“Right there!” I yelled. “Please!”
With strength he shouldn’t have, he flipped me over with his legs, so he was on top as he kissed me. “You feel so good, Vi. Almost like you were made for me.”
Tears filled my eyes. “Maybe I was.”
Our tongues tangled as our bodies clashed into one another in a beautiful mess of sweat and smoke.
My orgasm hit so hard and sudden that I couldn’t speak. Feeling him inside me, feeling the tremors of his body with his release was like being reborn, and when he collapsed on top of me and then rolled over onto his back, I really did think he had died as he whispered my name and closed his eyes.
I checked his pulse just in case.
Death by orgasm.
He would never live that one down.
I kissed his cheek and smiled.
His pulse was strong.
He just needed to sleep off the rest of the drug.
I grabbed one of the blankets draped across the chair in his sitting room and covered him with it. In a sudden move, he jerked and then grabbed my wrist. “Stay.”
“I should probably get everyone set up in rooms, figure out dinner—”
“See? I knew you would be the perfect wife. You gonna clean for me too? Or are—”
I lurched away from him and smacked him in the back of the head. “Oh, I’m sorry, did that hurt?”
“Italians,” he grumbled. “Always with the slapping.”
“Russians.” I leaned over and kissed his full, lush mouth. “Always with the vodka.”
“Vodka is life,” he whispered and then repeated what I assumed was the same phrase in Russian.
“I know you’re trying to sleep.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And that it’s been a long day.”
“Yup.”
“Are you even listening?”
“Totally.” He yawned.
I sighed. “I’m just curious. Are you completely fluent in Russian? Is the accent even real? And I’m assuming that you didn’t really have a sight problem and were wearing contacts to dull that emerald green?”
Without so much as opening his eyes, he responded with a Russian accent that reminded me of our first days together. “It comes and goes; I grew up around it so I can talk like all the men that used to come to the house. As far as being fluent, I’ve known Russian, Italian, and some French since my mom made me take lessons in all of them starting at the age of three, and you’re correct.”
“And yet you still suck at English? Crazy…”
His eyes flashed open, and then he was pulling me onto the bed and trapping me next to him. “Less talking, more cuddling.”
“You hate cuddling.” I smiled against the mattress as his arms held me against him.
“Only because every time I cuddled with you I got so hard it could have become embarrassing, so I lied and said I hated cuddling—the last thing I needed was your dad cutting my dick off because, at the tender age of fourteen, all I could think about was pinning you to the mattress and screwing you.”
“Fourteen, huh?”
“I would have probably gone off like a bullet if you as much as grazed my zipper.”
“You mean like you do now?”
“Viiiiiiiiiiii…” He drew my name out. “I was drugged, you know.”
I smiled. “Fine, sleep, and then we talk.”
“We always talk; it’s what we did, so we didn’t fuck.”
“It’s what you did.”
“You liked it.”
I sighed happily. “I loved it.”
“Goodnight, Mrs. Petrov.”
“Good night…” I kissed the top of his head. “My Russian Polar Bear King.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
I knew the day would come when the sun would set, and darkness would run, I hoped for it, I believed, and finally, it’s as if I can see the road ahead, the path I took, the life I had once overlooked. —Valerian Petrov
Valerian
It took me eight hours to sleep off the fun little drug that Nikolai had created a few years ago.
I’d heard rumors about its effects, and now I could easily say they were true, and I never wanted to experience that sort of helplessness ever again.
During my naptime, I’d gone from having my cousins and friends downstairs with a few associates to every damn man that worked for me, stopping by to check on me, most of them left with a bottle of vodka, meaning I needed to host a party and soon.
And we would as soon as I did the thing I didn’t want to do but needed to do in order to gain that last shred of forgiveness that was cowering in the corner of my heart.
The sound of classical music filtered through the living room as Ash and Serena poured drinks for themselves. Phoenix stood on the far side of the bar, eyeing me along with Andrei, who looked the most relaxed I’d ever seen them. After finding out about my brush with death, they decided to come down, along with my dad, to make sure everything was okay.
I told them I had it handled.
But I knew, in the back of my mind, I would still need them as mentors. I was young, everyone knew it, and I’d almost been taken out by one of my own.
“Hey.” I pulled out a barstool and stole a bottle of vodka from Phoenix’s grip.
I guess it wasn’t really stealing since he let me take it. Phoenix rarely let anyone do anything, though, so I counted it as a win.
“I have questions,” I finally said.
Andrei’s lips curled into a tiny smirk. “I wondered if you’d figure it out yourself or if you’d need us to draw you a little scenario map.”
Phoenix shrugged. “It goes something like this. You and Violet already had sex, the Russians saw you were alive, and what was the word you used, Andrei?”
Andrei cleared his throat. “Sad kicked puppy dog eyes.”
“That,” Phoenix snapped his fingers. “That’s how you looked at each other and then boom, messy hair, swollen mouths—”
“Get to the point.” I ground my teeth.
“He’s angrier now that he’s a boss.” Andrei nodded. “I like it.”
“You’re annoying.” I glared at him.
He lifted his glass into the air, looking every inch like one of my family members with his light hair and haunting eyes. “Thank you.”
“So.” Phoenix shrugged. “It was a good plan. There were rumors you were still alive, so we decided to just… quicken the process. That’s really all you need to know.”
“Oh, and dying wasn’t part of our plan.” Andrei patted me on the shoulder. “Truly sorry about that one. We thought S
ancto was loyal.” He shrugged. “And sane. Then again, we’re all of us a little bit insane.” He chuckled into his glass, giving me totally creepy vibes, while Phoenix just looked upward like he wondered why he was cursed with a friend who talked in riddles. Then again, it was Phoenix. Some might say he deserved that and more.
“Well, good thing I’m alive then,” I grumbled.
“There is…” Phoenix cleared his throat. “One more thing…” He nodded his head toward the outside patio.
My adopted dad, the friggin’ Capo of the Italians, was standing there, arms braced against the balcony with King standing next to him looking so much like him that it was almost hard to tell them apart except for the extra muscle and height Dad had on King still.
“This is going to hurt.” I took the bottle with me and made my way outside. Standing next to them made me feel like a liar, and I hated it.
“King knew,” Dad murmured, emotions held carefully in check. “And you didn’t tell me?”
“I couldn’t.” I looked away. “I made a promise to Phoenix. He knew King was lonely, wanted another brother. But not only that, you’re powerful, the most powerful man in the Cosa Nostra. Nobody even blinked when you announced my adoption.”
I turned toward him, expecting anger in his eyes. Instead, all I saw was sadness, and it felt like a million knives getting driven through my chest one by one.
“Trust me, son. I need you to trust me the way you trust Phoenix, the way you trust Chase despite your irritation over him wanting to murder you. The way you trust Ash with your life, Junior, Serena, hell, even Maksim. I need you to trust me in that way, not just with your brother because you’re a terrified ten-year-old who’s afraid he’s going to die just like his mom. Those are the things you tell your parent. Maybe not immediately, but when you’re ready, so if you want my allegiance as the Capo, you’re going to have to prove to me that you can trust me despite your fear. Because if you can’t, then I can’t align with you, and if I can’t align with you, then I can’t suggest that the bosses do it.” He angled his head to the right and studied me. “Are you hearing this?”
“Trust you, huh?” I rocked back on my heels. “So, you want me to just confess everything I’ve ever done to you right here? Right now? Is that going to make it better?”
“It’s a damn good start.” He crossed his arms.
“Fine.” I grinned. “King and I both lost our virginity at the tender age of thirteen.”
“Son of a bitch!” King said from the other side of him. “Dad, I swear we were older. The hell, man! Throw yourself under the bus, don’t take me with you!”
“You. WHAT?” Dad bellowed.
I grinned. “Oh, and we stole pot from one of the drug rings you guys busted and got so high that we wandered into a strip club—King made ten dollars, I’ve never been so proud.”
King just groaned into his hands, then slumped into one of the outdoor chairs. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.”
“When I was fifteen, Violet gave me the best blow job of my life. King found out about it then asked—”
“I swear if you keep talking, Valerian, I am going to murder you in your sleep.” King jumped to his feet. “And it won’t be slow!”
“Hey, at least you’re talking to me again.” I shrugged at him then looked back at Dad. “King and I also decided to skip school one day just so we could go drink at one of the lakes. We took the girls with us, and everyone skinny-dipped. It was totally fine until Violet started stripping, and then I had this huge problem, so King started dancing naked on the dock, giving me time to run to the shore and jack off shamelessly behind a tree while Violet swam like a fucking mermaid through the water. I think it’s why every Usher song gives me a semi—though I really don’t want anyone knowing that.”
“It wasn’t Usher, you idiot. It was T-Payne!” King stepped closer and gave me a shove. “Plus, it wasn’t my fault you had zero control of your hormones. A swift wind would have given you a semi!”
“That’s probably true.” I winked.
“Boys.” Dad pinched the bridge of his nose. “These— er, confessions, not really what I was talking about.”
“But I have a point.” I crossed my arms. “Everything I did, I did with King. He was and still is one of my best friends. I told him because I was afraid, and I burdened him with that truth, but it was and still is one of the only things I kept from you, and that’s the truth.”
Dad’s eyes locked onto me, and then he was pulling me into a hug. King tried to escape, but Dad grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him in too.
I thought he was going to say something emotional.
Instead, he held us so tight it was hard to breathe. “Mom never hears a word of any of this, are we clear?”
“But Dad, you said to be truthful—”
“Damn it, I know what I said!” He shoved us away, jabbing his finger between the two of us and then back to me. “It’s for my own sanity. She’ll make me sleep on the couch, and you know that hurts my neck. She hears not a word of this. And for the record…” His eyes darkened. “Never, and I do mean never tell Chase that you jacked off watching his daughter swim. Ever.”
I held up my hands in innocence. “He actually tolerates me now. No way would I let that get out.”
King let out a little chuckle. “Hmm, seems the tables have turned. Maybe I should shoot off a little text to… what’s Ash’s name for him? Scary Dad?”
“King.” Dad glared. “No.”
“Fine.” He rolled his eyes.
Dad took one last look at us then made a beeline for the bar where Phoenix and Andrei had set up camp.
“Is there a reason Phoenix is showing Andrei pictures of an RV?”
I shuddered. “Sure hope not.”
“Cool.” King exhaled and then started to walk away.
“Wait.” I grabbed him by the shoulder.
He froze.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m sorry I didn’t prepare you for this, I’m sorry you had to keep this secret, sorry you had to watch everyone mourn. I’m just… I love you, and I’m sorry.”
“See, that’s all you needed to say.” He hung his head and then turned back around. “You made an impossible choice, I get that. But you made it for both of us. You made a liar and betrayer out of me too, and that’s not me, that’s never been me. Yeah, we kept a lot of shit from Dad when we were young, but it was always because I was with you, not because I was strong enough on my own.” He gulped. “Sometimes, I still don’t think I am. Sometimes, I don’t know who I am without the great Breaker— or sorry, Valerian by my side.”
“Bro.” I pulled him in for a tight hug. “I’ll always be by your side.”
“In Seattle.” He grumbled.
I let him go. “Then move up here for a year. It’s not like you wouldn’t be safe.”
His eyes lit up, and then Violet walked out to the patio. “Newlyweds… Maybe I’ll wait for a few weeks before I bring it up to Dad. Hopefully, by then, you’ll be bored of all the sex you’re getting, and I won’t want to cut my own ears off and bemoan the fact that I’m not getting any.”
I rolled my eyes. “You were literally sleeping with your tutor all semester.”
His grin turned sloppy. “She gave me an A+.”
“Wow.” Violet shook her head at him. “And here I thought this one was the whore. Congratulations, you’ve just earned a new badge for banging the tutor who’s how many years older than you?”
“Three.” King waved her off. “What can I say? Sex helps me focus.”
“King!” Dad roared from inside. “Something you need to tell me about Miss Turner?”
“Fuck.” King hung his head and then slowly turned around. “She’s a really good tutor?”
“You. Little. Shit!” Dad yelled.
And then King ran for the door.
He was, of course, tackled by Ash, who was mean enough to want King to suffer. At least Ash wasn’t drinking himself to dea
th anymore or banging his head against the wall because, according to him, the pain made him feel better.
“So.” Violet reached for my hand. “Everything good?”
“Everything is…” I narrowed my eyes. “Weirdly normal.”
A gunshot rang out.
A lamp fell.
Neither of us even looked.
“Yup.” She smirked. “Weirdly normal.”
“Geez, Tex, he’s turning purple!” Ash yelled.
“Oh God, I’m going to puke,” Maksim announced.
“What the hell is wrong with you people?” Tank joined in as more loud noises commenced.
“And you?” Violet pressed a kiss to my mouth before talking. “How are you?”
“Deliriously happy that last year, I brought a girl to a club, lost her, found her again, saved her, lost my soul, only to have her bring me back to life again.” I smiled at her. “So, I’m feeling pretty fucking good right now.”
“Good.” She chewed her lower lip. “Because I’m pretty sure that mood is about to change when you find out…”
I felt myself pale. “What happened?”
“Annie needs a place to stay. The dorms aren’t safe for her anymore. Her parents are dead, courtesy of Ash and—” She sighed. “I may have brought it up to your dad, who then took matters into his own hands and—”
“Oh shit, don’t tell me.”
Violet winced. “My dad offered to take her in.”
And there it was.
The bomb exploding as we both turned to see Ash on his phone, his face pale. It was like slow motion as he stomped up to Annie looking ready to murder her even though she probably had no clue why he was so pissed.
He threw the phone onto the ground, breaking it nearly in half, then turned and looked at Violet like he was going to kill her.
I stood in front of her and shook my head slowly as Junior came up behind Ash and took him down.
“He’s not himself,” I whispered.
“He’s not even human anymore at times.” Violet hugged me from behind. “But blood is blood, so we’ll get him through it. One way or another, we’ll get him through.”
I had my doubts this time, but I didn’t voice them. I just focused on the woman holding me and the fact that I knew I could finally lead this Family not because I was strong enough, but because I had a partner who was.
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