“She wasn’t happy!” Tyler pointed out. “Do you remember what it was like? Or weren’t you paying attention?”
“I always paid attention. She is my daughter, and I loved her. Even when I wasn’t doting on her, she knew it. She wasn’t happy pretending to want to be a part of the business.”
“That business is our family. Family was her life.”
“That business isn’t our family,” Christopher said in shock. “Our family has that business. Just because she didn’t want to work with us doesn’t mean she didn’t love us, son.”
“She was happier when she was working toward her degree,” Tyler argued. “When she came back, she wasn’t happy. She always looked like she had been crying, she was always yelling at people. That’s not happiness, dad. That’s pain. She was confused.”
“You’re confused,” Christopher growled, “not everyone wants to do what you did. Accept that she wanted to move on with her life and that the business wasn’t a part of that anymore.”
“Stop trying to tell me she was happy,” he shook his head as he emphasized his point. “She wasn’t. Penelope was going through some stuff, and the sooner we admit that we failed her, the sooner we can move on.”
“I don’t want to move on,” Christopher admitted, “I want her to be a part of our lives forever. I'll never be able to move on from this. Never. If she wanted to be a filmmaker, then I’m prouder than ever. She made me proud. She never hid behind her fear. She was always out there looking for the truth and telling it to the world. We let our fear hold us back, and we were shoved into this business to make others happy. I would never have let that happen to her.”
“Is that so?” Tyler asked, his face showing how offended he was by his father’s words. “You say you respect her so much? Then why can’t you do it? Tell the truth, Dad. Let everyone know that your daughter was killed in her home. They found your aunt’s body buried underneath her. I hear you tell people that we have a family emergency, but you’re just too scared to tell them the truth. That’s why you called a private investigator instead of the police when she was missing.”
“This is a family matter,” Christopher said quietly, quickly glancing at Allegra who was frozen in her spot. “We need to deal with it privately. If the press gets hold of this, we won’t have a chance to breathe, let alone grieve for them.”
“She was gone for three days. Three days! Mom had to beg you to call someone.”
“You know your sister liked to disappear sometimes. I wanted to give her space. She was an adult, I couldn’t go running after her every time.”
“You didn’t want anyone to know you couldn’t control her. That’s the truth. Since we’re spilling the truth tonight, here’s some more, she wasn’t happy! Her running away so much just proves that. We should’ve been on her side and listened to her when she was trying to tell us that something was wrong.”
“Something was wrong,” Christopher admitted, “but it had nothing to do with the business.”
“It had everything to do with the business!”
“I’ve had enough of this,” Christopher said quietly. He put his drink down and got up to leave.
“Don’t you dare,” Tyler said angrily, standing up to meet his father. “We have to tell people. We haven’t even planned her funeral. She’s stuck, all alone in some cold morgue. Stop hiding from the truth.”
“We’ll bury both of them when we find out who did this to her,” Christopher promised, “I’m not hiding from anything. I won’t let people spread gossip and rumors about her when we need time to process.”
“This isn’t processing!” Tyler shouted. “This is hiding! People are already starting to gossip. They think she ran away. Everyone needs to know the truth. Penelope would never leave us. She had a place with us, but someone took her away. Don’t let them think she chose to do this. They think we don’t care.”
“I don’t care what people think,” Christopher retorted. “I’m not letting them have this. Let them think what they want.”
“You’d rather let them think she’s out partying than let them know? You don’t want them to know that you failed her.”
“Tell me, Tyler,” Christopher rubbed his eyes tiredly, “how did I fail her?”
“You didn’t protect her.”
The temperature in the room dropped significantly, and Allegra felt even more awkward than she had during the entire argument. She sank low into her seat, wishing that they weren’t blocking the doorway. When two women argued, it was easy to interrupt and excuse yourself, but this private argument was a lot worse. They both knew that she was there, but it didn’t stop them from tearing into each other. Allegra felt like Tyler was being harsh on his father, but he made a few valid points.
She had to wonder why such a devoted father hadn’t alerted the authorities when his daughter didn’t arrive back home when she was supposed to. It was also strange that he said he was proud of her for making the decision to leave the company but that he never told her this himself. If he knew that his daughter was only making the decision to make him happy, then why didn’t he talk to her about it before she went away to college?
Another red flag popped up when Tyler revealed that they hadn’t told anyone about the double murders yet. It was a private matter, but there was no way anyone could hold something so devastating to themselves for as long as he had. She wondered if he would’ve called her if his wife hadn’t insisted.
Christopher reeled back as though his son had smacked him. He stood there, blinking in shock as Tyler’s words hung in the air between them. Tyler seemed to realize that he had crossed some sort of line. He sat down heavily and put his hand to his face. He looked like he wished he could take it all back, but it was too late. He had already said it.
Christopher shook his head slightly, looked up at Allegra and nodded slightly. She looked away, not knowing how to meet his gaze. When she looked up, Tyler was gone.
Chapter Twenty
“I’m sorry you had to see that,” Christopher said heavily. “Tyler grieves differently from the rest of us.”
“It’s okay,” Allegra said quietly, “I’m sorry I didn’t leave.”
“There was no way you could’ve,” he said with a wry smile, “he wanted you to see all that. He wants you to know what he thinks about me.”
“I don’t think he really thinks that about you,” Allegra said comfortingly. “I’m sure he looks up to you. You’re his hero, he wants to learn as much as he can before he has to take over when you retire.”
“That’s very kind of you, but my son has a one-track mind. I never met anyone who could turn his sister’s murder into something about himself. I love the kid, but this is going to be difficult.”
Allegra didn’t respond, and she sat there with the empty glass in her hand, wondering if she could make a break for it. When she noticed Christopher’s troubled expression, a thought occurred to her.
“Christopher, Penny mentioned that she was fighting with someone in the house. I know she was moody at the end, but she was very specific. She mentioned that this was an ongoing thing and that she was tired of it. I wonder if you could tell me who that person is? Sarah thought it could’ve been Violet, but someone else said that it could have been either of them.”
“Are you sure it was one of them?” Christopher asked carefully. “She and Tyler were also fighting a lot at the end.”
“No, she specifically said that it was a woman who was the cause. I think that if I know who it is, then I can use that information to look in the right direction.”
“Why is that?” he asked curiously, standing up to pour himself another drink.
“I’d like to understand her frame of mind before she died.”
“I’m not surprised that my mother said it was Violet. Those two will be the death of me, I swear.”
“I get the feeling that they don’t really get along?” Allegra asked him, trying to be discreet as she interrogated him. It was important that people
didn’t realize they were being interrogated, otherwise they got angry and refused to talk. It had to feel natural, otherwise you don’t get the information you needed.
“They did,” Christopher said heavily with the attitude of a man who had been caught between his wife and mother for too long. “all that changed after Tyler was born. They both had very different ideas about raising a child. My mother was also upset about his name.”
“His name?” Allegra echoed in confusion. “What’s so wrong with his name?”
“My mother felt that he should’ve been named after my father since he died soon after Tyler was born. Violet didn’t like that name and so she named him Tyler Lawrence. It only got worse after Penelope was born. My mother also hated that name.”
“So, all this fighting is because of the children’s names?”
“I wish,” Christopher scoffed, looking vaguely amused. “Things would’ve been a lot easier if that was the problem.”
“What is the problem?”
“My mother and Violet are very different people. Even when they try, they don’t get along.”
“I’m sorry to ask, but why didn’t you move out? I think it would’ve been a lot easier if Violet had her own house. I know that most women don’t want to live with their mother-in-law.”
“We spoke about it a few times,” Christopher sighed, “but I can’t leave my mother alone in this massive house. She’s a handful, but she doesn’t do well on her own. It would’ve been cruel to take the children away from her.
“That makes sense. Did Violet support that decision?”
“She said she understood, but it’s still hard on her. This isn’t the life she wanted. It was better for her when Penny came along. She was very similar to her mother.”
“Sarah said, Penny took after her.”
“Of course, she would,” Christopher said with a wry smile. “My mother sees herself in everyone. Don’t underestimate her ability to make things about herself. My family is more than a little complicated.”
“I’m starting to see that,” Allegra mused, “I think every family has their own unique problems, but at least you have your family with you. Even if it is exhausting.”
“You have no idea,” Christopher told her seriously. “Between Violet and my mother, I never get a moment’s peace. It’s almost a relief to go to work some days. I know Violet tries, I just don’t know why my mother can’t try a little harder.”
“Since Violet and Penny were so similar, do you think they were fighting? You know, bumping heads because they didn’t see how alike they were? I know that this is a problem with young women and their mothers, well, in most cases.”
“No,” Christopher shook his head, “they rarely fought. It was like they were allies. Whenever someone fought with Penny, then Violet would be up in arms to defend her. You could never say anything wrong about her. The same applied to Penny. She and my mother were always fighting because she didn’t like the way Mother was treating Violet. It also didn’t help that my daughter wouldn’t conform to what my mother thought she should be.”
“What did Sarah think she should be?”
“You have to understand that my mother is very old-fashioned. She still thinks that a woman should get married young and have children. She was always bugging Penny to get married or get a suitable boyfriend. She thought that college was a time to meet the perfect husband.”
“I thought Sarah wanted Penny to join the family business?”
“She hated the idea,” Christopher scoffed. “She said that there were enough people in the business and that Penny should concentrate on sorting her life out instead of chasing after a career. She said that it wasn’t appropriate. Of course, when Penny came back from school, it only confirmed her suspicions that Penny was doing the wrong thing.”
“I can’t believe anyone still thinks that way,” Allegra said, looking aghast. In her mind, the days when women were expected to stay at home and have children instead of dreams were over. It pained her to think that other women were encouraging it instead of trying to change things around and support each other. She knew that some women chose to stay home and have children, and that was fine. Allegra believed that everyone should be free to live as they wanted. If a woman wanted a career, she should be supported. If a woman wanted to be a housewife, she shouldn’t be judged. But a woman who tried to force another woman to do something she didn’t want to do, was wrong.
“It’s all my mother knows,” Christopher defended, “don’t worry, I’m not choosing a side. I’ve heard this argument a thousand times.”
“What’s your opinion?”
“Nice try,” Christopher told her wryly, “but I’m not stepping into that trap. Look, I knew that Penny didn’t want to join the business, but it was the only way to get my mother to stop nagging her, so I supported her. I thought that if my mother got used to the idea of Penny working for a living, then she wouldn’t have minded so much when Penny finally decided what she wanted to do.”
“That makes sense,” Allegra agreed, nodding slowly. “I can see why you did what you did.”
“Do you?” he asked tiredly, “Because no one else seems to. They all think that I should’ve done or said something.”
“Do you believe that?”
“No,” Christopher shook his head emphatically. “If Penny didn’t learn to stand up for herself then she’d always be bullied into doing what others wanted her to do. It was a lesson she needed to learn for herself. There were enough people telling her what to do, she hated it. I didn’t want to do that to her, so I backed off to let her have a decision.”
“That’s very noble,” Allegra commended, “I wish my mother had done the same for me. I learned that lesson the hard way.”
“So, did I,” Christopher admitted. “I did what I wished my parents had done. They were always watching everything I did, making sure to let me know every time I made a mistake. I wasn’t allowed to think for myself or do anything I wanted. They had people follow me everywhere I went. I couldn’t breathe without someone raising an eyebrow. I know Penny thought she was trapped, but she really has no idea. By the time I went to college, I was so desperate for freedom that I did a few stupid things.”
“You wanted to give her space to grow,” Allegra summarized, nodding as he spoke.
“Exactly. My parents got what they wanted. Don’t get me wrong, I love the business and I enjoy what I do, but there was never any choice. If they had given me a choice, I probably would’ve been a doctor. I tried to convince my dad to let me go to medical school, but he had a heart attack when I brought it up.”
“I’m sure his reaction must have been extreme, but he loved you. I’m sure he would’ve accepted your decision eventually.”
“No, you don’t understand,” Christopher told her, “he had a literal heart attack. He was in the hospital for weeks. I felt so guilty that I never mentioned it to him again. My mother still doesn’t know what I tried to do all those years ago.”
“I suppose that marrying Violet must’ve been a relief.”
“Trust me, it was. My mother had been trying to set me up with a friend’s daughter. It was awful. Poor Madeleine. She was a pretty girl, but she was always repeating what I said.”
“Well, from what you’ve told me, I don’t think Sarah approved of the marriage.”
“Not at all,” Christopher chuckled. “I thought she was going to have a heart attack. Thankfully, my dad approved of her. He said she had spark and that Madeleine gave him a headache. For once, I won the argument, but my mother never forgot it. Every time Violet and I had an argument, she used to invite Madeleine over for brunch.”
“Violet must’ve loved that,” Allegra quipped, raising her eyebrows.
“Oh, don’t worry. She won that fight.”
“What did she do?”
“It was a stroke of brilliance. She marched into the room and told Madeleine if she wanted to take her place so badly, she better be prepared for it. Tyler had jus
t been born and wouldn’t stop crying. She gave the baby to Madeleine and started yelling about how much she hated Madeleine’s shoes. Madeleine never came back.”
“Your mother must’ve been furious.”
“You have no idea,” he chuckled. “She couldn’t stand it when Penny took after Violet. Ever since Penny was a child, my mother was always criticizing what she did. It was frustrating for both of them.”
Christopher’s story matched Penny’s almost perfectly. She had spoken about someone who always micro-managed her and treated her like a child. Although Sarah pointed a finger at Violet, it made more sense that she was fighting with her granddaughter. Violet didn’t look like she was very combative, every interaction that Allegra had with her proved just how pliable Violet had become. The woman was tired and battered down from years of fighting with a woman whose will was much stronger than hers. Penny, on the other hand, looked like she had a whole lot of fight left in her. Allegra could only imagine the type of fights the two had. She almost wished she could’ve seen one. It must’ve been impressive.
“It also didn’t help that she was always comparing Penny to Tyler. It destroyed their relationship.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Allegra allowed Christopher to talk for another hour and a half before she excused herself. By the time she walked away, he was repeating himself and had stopped giving her useful information. She felt desperately sorry for the man, it was obvious that no one took the time to sit and listen to him anymore.
During one of his rambling stories, she looked at him intently, studying his features and expressions. He knew she wasn’t listening anymore, but it helped to have an audience of any kind and he just wanted someone to sit and talk with him. It was at that point that she realized that the Kinsleighs had stopped being a family a long time ago. They touted family ideals as the most important thing in the world, but they had lost sight of why family was so important. Companionship and love had been replaced by the business and their secrets. Somewhere along the line, keeping secrets had become more important. Penny’s murder wasn’t the cause, it was the result.
A Vicious Cycle Page 13