A Mother Forever

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A Mother Forever Page 15

by Elaine Everest


  ‘Oh, Frank, it will be wonderful! I promise to be your first customer, and George will be your second. You will have reading material for children, won’t you? I’ll come and help clean the shop, and I’m a dab hand with a paintbrush these days.’

  ‘I just knew you’d be as excited as I am. But there is a question I need to ask in all of this. Will you come and work for me?’

  Ruby was thoughtful for a short while. She enjoyed her job working in the Prince of Wales Hotel; she got on with the landlord and the customers, but couldn’t envisage being a cleaner and doing the odd shift behind the bar for many more years to come. She’d already been there nigh on five years and was beginning to get itchy feet for a change. ‘Oh, that would be a dream of a job – but can you afford to take on a shop assistant? All this will cost money, Frank.’

  ‘I know it will. I’ve put quite a bit away over the years and I know I can make a go of it, especially with the offer of six months’ cheap rent. I should know by the end of that time if I have the makings of being a bookshop owner or not. It is going to be such an adventure. I’m not so sure my parents will approve, but at my age, most men don’t live with their parents any more and already have a wife and a family. I’ve been thinking I may move into the rooms over the shop.’

  ‘You’ve certainly thought this over, haven’t you? I am a little worried for you, though. What if after six months the business fails? What will you do with your life then?’

  ‘If it fails, I reckon I can get another job as a bookkeeper at any one of the local coalyards, so don’t worry about that.’ Frank turned the pages of his notebook and showed Ruby his plans. She could see how much he’d saved, what he’d spent on books so far and how much he thought it would cost to have the shop ready to open. There was also a note of wages that would be paid to his assistant. ‘I have enough money in my savings to tide the business over for three months. I’m hoping by then to have enough customers. What do you think, Ruby? Could you become a shopkeeper’s assistant? Perhaps you’d like some time to think about it.’

  ‘I don’t need to think about it. It’s a wonderful idea, but there is a problem,’ she said, pointing to the row of figures showing how much Frank intended to pay his assistant each week.

  Frank looked at it. ‘I’m sorry, Ruby – that’s the most I can afford to pay. I’d make it more if I could.’

  ‘Oh, you idiot,’ she laughed. ‘My problem is that it’s too much! I can live on a lot less, Frank.’

  He took her hands in his and looked into her eyes. ‘Are you sure? I don’t want you and George going without just because I want to play at being a shopkeeper.’

  ‘Then let’s agree on a figure,’ she said, taking his pencil and jotting down a sum that was just over half of the figure he’d noted. ‘Will you be happy to pay me this?’

  ‘On one condition,’ he said. ‘We will review the amount after three months. Is that a deal?’

  ‘It’s a deal,’ she said, holding out her hand for him to shake.

  Instead he placed his hands onto her shoulders and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek.

  ‘I hope that’s purely platonic,’ Ruby laughed.

  ‘I can confirm that it is platonic,’ he said.

  ‘Thank goodness for that. Your mother would have something to say if you took me for your fancy woman, carrying on with you in the flat over the shop,’ she chuckled. ‘Now, would you like another cup of tea to celebrate the start of your business empire?’

  ‘No, I’d best get going. I want to finish work a couple of hours early tomorrow to go and view the shop, so best not roll in late due to oversleeping. Would you like to come with me to view it?’

  ‘I can think of nothing better. Oh, Frank, I’m so excited for you – this must be a dream come true.’

  ‘It certainly is,’ he said as he opened the front door to let himself out. Turning to face her at the gate, he gave her a kiss on the cheek. ‘Thank you for believing in me, and for being a true friend, Ruby. If I can ever pay you back, I will,’ he promised.

  Ruby stood on tiptoe and returned his kiss. ‘Thank you for inviting me to be part of the adventure. I’m so thrilled for you. Sleep tight, Frank,’ she said as he waved goodbye, crossing the road and letting himself into number fourteen.

  Stepping into the hallway, Ruby closed the door and leant against it, thinking of how bright her future now looked. She had not seen the bedroom curtains part as Stella watched her kiss Frank. Neither did she see the man standing in the shadows, watching thoughtfully.

  Yawning widely, she decided to head to bed; the washing-up could wait for the morning. She hadn’t taken one step away from the door when she heard a slight rattle of the letter box, and an envelope fell onto the doormat. She recognized the handwriting – the swirl of the ‘y’ and the short line struck below her name. Even though there was just the one word – Ruby, neatly written in the middle of the envelope – this was a chance to find out who had been sending her money over the past five years. Opening the door, she hurried down the short path, recognizing the outline of the person as he walked away.

  ‘Eddie!’ she called, catching up to him and grabbing the back of his jacket. He turned and silently looked at her, his eyes burning into hers.

  She couldn’t believe this was her husband. Somehow, she’d imagined him sinking into the depths of depravation as the drink and gambling took more of a hold on his body and mind. Instead he was clean-shaven, leaner, and just as handsome as she remembered from the days before the demons arrived and ruined their marriage.

  She held out her hand. ‘Please – come inside. We need to talk.’

  ‘But George?’

  ‘He’s sound asleep. If we are quiet, he won’t even know you’re here – if that’s what you want?’

  He nodded. ‘Your visitor . . .?’

  ‘It was Frank Green. We are friends, nothing more. Please, Eddie, come indoors,’ she begged.

  Eddie followed his wife, stepping over the threshold into what had been his home. Memories of past arguments, his unhappiness and his drinking were forgotten as he followed Ruby and closed the front door.

  Ruby beckoned him to follow her into the front room and pulled the door to. ‘George is unlikely to hear you from his room at the back of the house. If that’s the way you want it? After the busy day he’s had, he’s in a deep sleep.’

  Eddie nodded without saying a word.

  ‘Eddie . . . why?’ Ruby searched his face for an answer. ‘I don’t understand why you left as you did when Mum died. You must still have cared for us in some way to leave the money over the years. Please tell me what happened?’ she begged.

  Eddie didn’t speak, he just looked hungrily at Ruby’s face. He knew he should have walked away and not accepted her invitation to come into the house. His wife had grown more beautiful during the past years. ‘God, Ruby, I’ve missed you,’ he whispered, pulling her to him and holding her close.

  ‘Oh, Eddie, this isn’t a dream, is it? Have you come back for good?’ she asked, not caring when he didn’t answer her question.

  ‘Shush,’ he said before kissing her gently.

  Ruby felt memories surface of the man she loved and thought she’d lost. Feelings she’d buried for so long came rushing back as their kisses became more intense. From the very first time Eddie had kissed her, she had known she was smitten. Nothing else mattered when she was in his arms; his gentle lovemaking stirred a longing in her that she’d never felt for any other man. Eddie wasn’t solely to blame for the intensity of their love and her giving in to him so quickly when she fell with their George. She had wanted him as badly as he wanted her. If only life had not interfered, she knew she would have been with Eddie until the end of time.

  Eddie felt for the buttons at the back of her dress and started to undo them slowly with one hand while holding her close with the other.

  She thought she would burst with the intensity of her feelings as her dress fell from her shoulders. Pulling away from him, she foug
ht to control her breathing. ‘Not here, Eddie, not here,’ she said, taking him by the hand and leading him slowly upstairs to their bedroom, stopping for a moment to listen for any sign that George was waking. Pushing the door closed, they fell onto the large double bed, the past forgotten, thinking only of the moment.

  Dawn broke, bringing fingers of light into the bedroom as Ruby stirred. She was still snuggled up to Eddie, her head on his bare chest. She ran her fingers delicately across his chest, marvelling at how his body had changed in five years. Now he had a torso rippling with muscles, his skin tanned and his face healthy. She felt herself blush as she thought of the night and their lovemaking. She would have been content to lie here forever, but thoughts of George came into her head. What would he think about seeing Eddie back in the home? She needed to prepare him for the surprise of his dad returning to live with them. Giving Eddie a gentle shake to wake him, she was rewarded with a bear hug and a kiss that melted her insides.

  ‘Eddie, we need to have a talk about George and what to say to him when he comes down to breakfast. It is going to be a shock to see his daddy home once more.’

  Eddie froze and pulled away from Ruby. ‘My love, I can’t stay. It’s too dangerous for you to have me in the house. I promise you I will return when I can, but for now I need to go.’

  ‘What do you mean? I thought you’d come home for good once you followed me into the house – what was last night about?’

  ‘Darling Ruby – it shouldn’t have happened. What we did was foolish, but I couldn’t resist you. My heart has always been here with you in this house. You’ve got to believe me.’

  Ruby sat up, pulling the sheet over her bare breasts. ‘I don’t understand. Why do you keep running away? We can’t live like this. You’ve turned into a stranger, Eddie. You took Mum’s money and then when I needed you most, you ran away. I should think of you as a thief and a coward, but I love you, Eddie,’ she said, fighting the urge to shout at him. Instead she kept her voice to an intense whisper, afraid of waking George. ‘I was angry for ages! The names I called you should never be repeated in public. I spent sleepless nights fuming, then worrying and being so angry with you. My head told me to forget you, but my heart wanted you back. Now you’re here, and last night was like a dream come true – and now you tell me you’re going away again? How long will it be this time? Tell me that, Eddie. How can I live without you?’

  He climbed from the bed, and Ruby averted her eyes. She’d never looked directly at her husband without his clothes before; he had always covered himself out of respect for her shy disposition. When did that change – had there been another woman? She needed to know.

  ‘Eddie, is there another woman?’ He spun to look at her as he tightened the belt around his waist. There was hurt in his eyes.

  ‘How can you even ask that question? There’s never been anyone else. I swear to you, Ruby, on our son’s life – you are the only woman for me.’

  ‘Then why?’

  ‘One day I’ll be able to tell you, but for now, I have to go,’ he said, buttoning up his shirt and reaching for his jacket, which had been thrown to the floor as they’d pulled at each other’s clothes hours earlier. Kneeling on the side of the bed, he leant over to kiss her. She reached out to pull him closer, but he struggled and stepped away. ‘No, Ruby, I’m going. I have to, because if I were to stay, it could put you and our son in danger. Please believe me – I’d tell you if I could, but for now, please just listen for George, so he doesn’t hear me leave the house?’

  Ruby now knew she couldn’t keep him there. ‘I’ll remember this night for the rest of my life. Come back to me when you can, Eddie. There will never be another man for me. Whatever happens, remember I’m here, and I will be waiting for you as long as it takes.’ She could see he was close to tears. ‘You’d best go before you are spotted. There will soon be people out in the street heading to work, and curtains will start to twitch if they see you leave by the front door.’

  ‘I’ll go by the back door and along the alley to Britannia Bridge. If I can get a message to you, I will. I love you, Ruby,’ were his parting words.

  Ruby stepped into her dress and hurried through to the spare back bedroom. Pulling aside the curtain, she watched her husband disappear through the wooden gate at the end of the long garden. ‘I love you, Eddie Caselton,’ she whispered, kissing her fingers and waving as he disappeared from view.

  10

  August 1910

  ‘You do look pale,’ Frank said as he entered the bookshop from the back room, his arms full of books. ‘Are you under the weather?’

  Ruby brushed a stray hair from her hot face and fanned herself, using a sheet of paper picked up from the counter. ‘It’s nothing. We’ve had a rush on since you popped out. Your window display of adventure books certainly attracted shoppers. F. Green, Bookseller will be a resounding success, I can feel it in my water,’ she smiled, trying hard to focus although her head was starting to spin. ‘It is rather warm,’ she faltered, as her knees started to buckle beneath her.

  Frank dropped the books he was carrying and along with an elderly gentleman who was perusing books from the history shelves, he rushed to her side, just about catching her as she sunk to the floor. The man pulled up a wooden chair from the other side of the counter and helped Frank make her comfortable.

  ‘Could you fetch some water, please?’ Frank asked the man. ‘There’s a tap just inside that door and you will find cups on the shelf.’

  Ruby tried to push Frank away. ‘I’m fine . . . I’m fine . . .’ she mumbled.

  ‘You’re not fine at all,’ Frank fussed. ‘Sit there and take some deep breaths,’ he told her sternly as she tried to get to her feet. ‘I’d never forgive myself if you fell ill while working here. You do long hours in the shop, then rush off home to care for George and do your housework. The house is always as bright and clean as a new pin – then on top of that, I find you upstairs clearing out the spare rooms this morning. This can’t go on, Ruby.’

  ‘Here you are,’ the customer said, handing a china cup full of cold water to Frank, who urged Ruby to take slow sips.

  ‘Thank you – it’s such a warm day, I was overcome for a little while. I’ll be fine now.’ She smiled at the man, who still looked worried. ‘I’m sorry to have interrupted your browsing. Is there anything we can help you with?’

  Frank laughed. ‘Don’t you ever rest? I’ll serve the gentleman, Ruby. You sit there and take it easy for a few minutes, then I’m packing you off home. George will be back from school shortly, anyway.’

  Ruby was grateful to be able to relax for a short while. Since the shop had opened the month before, they’d been run off their feet. Frank was often out collecting books from private addresses or attending auctions. Ruby would man the shop, waiting for him to return to the shop in Pier Road to see what gems he’d found. On Saturdays, George would help in the shop, and occasionally Donald would help out for a few hours.

  Stella, however, never came near the premises at all; since the night Frank had told her about his plans, it was as if she had drifted away. No amount of explaining that it was his dream to run his own business could convince his mother that he was doing the right thing.

  ‘I’m fine now – I feel a lot better. It must have been the heat that affected me; it’s quite a close day. Do you think there’s going to be a storm later?’

  Frank looked at Ruby’s flushed cheeks, noticing that her hands shook a little as she held the cup. He wasn’t fooled by the smile on her face. Ruby hadn’t been herself for a few weeks now. There was most certainly something wrong with her, which worried him. Under normal circumstances he would have turned to his mother for advice, but Stella’s coolness towards him at the moment also extended to Ruby. He’d seen her turn away and rarely answer when Ruby was in the room. Was it because he’d given up a good job at the coalyard – a job with prospects – to set out on a venture that could fail? Perhaps it was because he’d asked Ruby for help with the shop
, rather than his mum? Working long hours, he’d not yet got the upstairs rooms of the shop in Pier Road ready to move in to, so he was still living with his parents. However, the frosty reception he received whenever he was at home caused him to stay away as much as possible. Frank closed his ears to Stella advising him to go back to his secure job at the coalyard. The more he resisted her advice, the worse the atmosphere became.

  The older gentleman accepted his purchases, now wrapped in brown paper and tied neatly with string, and pocketed his change. ‘I hope your wife will be feeling better soon,’ he said. ‘She needs to keep her feet up more. My wife was the same when she was first expecting our nippers.’

  Frank’s chin almost hit the floor as he considered the man’s words. Surely not? Making a note of the purchases, he bid the man a good afternoon. He returned to where Ruby was sitting, staring into space. She must have heard the exchange. She looked up at Frank as he placed a hand on her shoulder. ‘He’s right; I’m certain I’m expecting a baby.’

  ‘Who . . . when . . .?’ Frank asked, looking puzzled. ‘I had no idea you had a gentleman friend, let alone . . .’

  Ruby’s eyes shone with unshed tears. ‘It’s Eddie’s.’

  ‘But you’ve not seen him for years. I thought he’d vanished from your life?’

  Ruby took her dear friend’s hand and clasped it tightly. ‘Five years. I’ve not seen him for five years, and then one night a few months ago, he turned up on my doorstep. He’s changed, Frank – it seemed as if the good man I married had come back again.’

  ‘If he’s a good man, why did he love you and leave you?’ he asked bitterly. ‘That’s not the behaviour of a decent husband.’

  ‘I don’t know. He wouldn’t say – he mentioned putting me in danger if I knew. I’m sure he’ll come back to me one day . . .’

 

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