by L. Nicole
“First of all,” I grouse. “You can’t order someone to not be afraid. They’re either going to be afraid or they aren’t. There’s not much you can do to stop it, only make it better.”
“Then, I’ll make it better,” he says and some of the frustration has leaked from his face, softening his features.
I roll my eyes. “If I give you the chance,” I grumble under my breath, making him laugh. “And second of all—”
“You’ll give me the chance, sweetheart,” he says, confidently and he’s right, but I ignore him.
“And second of all,” I warn, my voice meant to sound like I’m annoyed, but I find I’m too happy to quite pull that off. “I haven’t had sex with Grayson. He lied to everyone. I haven’t had sex with anyone.”
“You’re a virgin?” he asks, and there can be no mistaking his shock.
“Yeah.”
“Fuck,” he hisses and then he takes my mouth, kissing me with such intensity that I forget everything but him.
When we break apart, I barely realize that I’ve let go of my dress and that it’s fallen down to my hips, leaving my breasts pressed against him in only my bra.
“Stone—”
“You’ve given me the best gift I’ve ever received in my life, Jessa.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready… I mean I know what we did and where we’re headed, but…”
“Jessa, stop worrying.”
“I just need more time. I mean we’ve barely met and now we’re talking about having sex. I…”
“I can wait, Jessa. I’ve been waiting for you from the moment we first met, a little longer won’t kill me.”
“It still blows me away that you feel this way considering we just met in your office mere days ago.”
Something shifts on his face that I can’t name, but soon he’s smiling at me, leaning into to kiss my forehead, as his hand holds my face gently.
“Will you let me shower with you? Clean your body and let you see how much I adore every inch of you, Jessa?” he asks, his face tender, but his eyes intense.
“But—”
“No sex, Jessa. I promise. Just let me prove to you how much I adore your body and you.”
What I want and what I need war with one another. I close my eyes, trying to sort through the chaos of my thoughts. The only thing I truly understand is that I want a relationship with Stone. I want to see where this goes.
And because of that, I step away from him, and pull my dress the rest of the way off.
“Okay,” I voice, the single word barely a breath. I know that Stone can hear me though, because his face suddenly wears a look of victory and for some reason, I’m glad that I’m the one that put it there.
I could love this man.
I might already be half way there…
11
Jessa
One Week Later
“Are you having fun?”
“A blast,” I admit, and I am. We’re taking a tour of the harbor watching for dolphins. The boat is crowded, but Stone has his arm around me, and I have none of the unease that I normally have around large crowds. I’m wearing a soft pink jumper that I think highlights my face and looks good with my hair. I’ve French braided my hair and have on my designer sunglasses. I don’t usually spend a lot of money, especially since I live on a budget, but sunglasses are a must in the hot Oklahoma sun, so I shell out for the better ones.
Stone’s fingers brush back and forth against my arm, making my entire body tingle. I’m slowly letting go of the hang-ups I have with my body. I am certain that whatever issues I have, Stone doesn’t have them. That day after I confessed my worries to him, he took me in the shower and bathed every inch of me and washed my hair. He didn’t make love to me, but his fingers caressed everywhere and his lips followed the blazing path he made. For the first time in my life, I felt beautiful. Stone made me believe I was beautiful. It’s not going to happen overnight, but slowly he’s eating away at years of self-doubt that small minded people and bullies have put in my head. I didn’t realize how big the scars were that Grayson managed to open up and bring back to life, but somehow Stone is destroying them.
There’s only one problem.
Stone hasn’t tried anything else since that afternoon on the beach—the shower notwithstanding. But he kept his promise even then and didn’t make love to me or try. At first, I was relieved, but now there are times when I feel like I can’t breathe. Despite how I started out, now all I want is for Stone to take control and make love to me.
After one week of his constant attention, of hand holding, cuddling watching movies, going out sightseeing and a few kisses and not much else, I’m starting to feel like I’ve missed my chance with Stone. Maybe now that he realizes how easily I could be his, I’m not a challenge?
Stone and I even sleep together—although we’re always in pajamas. Surely if he still desired me he’d make a move? I know I’m about ready to. I’m not sure I can wait much longer. The only thing that stops me is fear that he might not want me. Which is crazy, I know. He told me he did. How could he change his mind so quickly? He couldn’t, right?
All I know is that my unanswered questions are slowly driving me insane.
“You’re quiet,” Stone murmurs into my ear.
“I’m just thinking.”
“What about, sweetheart?” he asks, and I feel his lips brush against my shoulder.
“Just how much I’ve enjoyed the past couple of days with you, but…”
“But?”
“We’re not getting much work done.”
“Let me worry about that, Jessa. You just relax and have fun.”
“Okay,” I murmur, not knowing what else to say. I need to confess to him what has me so worried. But, after making such a big deal of telling him I wasn’t ready to have sex with him, what would he think of me? I mean it’s only been a week.
A very long week.
I sigh and try to concentrate on the good I have right now. Stone is with me. His arm is around me and the weather is gorgeous.
“Look!” I yell out as I see a dolphin break through the water and flip. “Look how beautiful, Stone!” I add excitedly, pointing to the dolphin who is already disappearing into the water.
Stone puts his hand under my chin and pulls me around until I’m looking at him.
“Completely and utterly beautiful,” he says, his voice full of emotion as his lips come down to kiss me.
I have a lot of good, I remind myself again.
And all of that centers around the man who is kissing me right now as if I was the only woman on the face of the earth.
12
Stone
I deserve a fucking medal. I should be sainted. That’s all there is to it. Night after night of sleeping to most desirable woman I’ve ever met in my life, the woman that I have wanted to possess and love since the moment I first saw her crying at my best friend’s funeral and…I haven’t attacked her. Haven’t made her admit how much she wants me, and fucked her so hard that she couldn’t walk the next day.
Instead, I’m trapped in a permanent cycle of hell, my balls so sore and blue that the damn things may never be the same. I wake up hard, I go to bed hard. I stay that way all fucking day. It’s ridiculous and Jessa? She has no idea. I’ve hid it from her constantly. I can’t hold on much longer, though. I just can’t. I’m going to break. I’ve got to figure something out and quick.
Yesterday, I took Jessa out looking for dolphins, but today she said she wasn’t feeling good, so we’re staying in. We had breakfast together, but she decided to lay back down afterwards. I hate that she might be getting sick. I need to check on her. If she’s still feeling bad, I’m going to demand she lets me take her to the doctor.
I’m going over the emails from my office. Sending off instructions to my general manager, but I’m doing it all as if I’m on remote. I’m detached from it completely. I used to live for business, but these days, all I want is to have Jessa in my arms. I hope this ache le
ssens soon. If not, my company is going to go to hell. It’s a good thing I got it in the shape it’s in so I could concentrate on Jessa. Although if I hadn’t waited, Grayson wouldn’t have gotten the chance to hurt her and leave his scars. Scars that I’m doing my best to heal, but are also why I haven’t claimed my woman yet. The fucker better be glad he’s in Alaska. If I ever saw him again, I’d probably kill him. I’m that protective over her.
I look up at the clock and frown when I realize it’s after two. Jessa should have been up and moving around by now. I get up and walk to my bedroom. I moved Jessa in there the evening after we shared dinner on the beach. After living her body, kissing her, making her come…there was no way that I was going to let her sleep without me. She sealed her fate and now she will always sleep in my bed. There’s no room for discussion in that.
I open the door quietly, expecting to see her still asleep in bed. I panic when she’s not in the bed at all.
The room is empty.
I instantly check the bathroom and when I can’t find her there, I can’t stop the anxiety that I feel.
“Jessa?” I call out. When she doesn’t answer I check her room, the kitchen and any other place I think she might be. When there’s no sign of her, anxiety blossoms into fear.
I go outside, praying she’s in the pool or the hot tub. I grab my phone when I find them empty. I’ve punched her cell number into my phone, my thumb hovering over the button to connect the call when movement catches my eye.
Jessa is out walking on the beach, her long blonde hair down and flowing in the wind. She’s wearing the bathing suit I bought for her when we were in town one day last week. I saw her looking at it through a window and purchased it for her before she could argue. There’s a matching pink sarong tied at her hips and her beauty makes my heart hurt. She’s every fantasy, every want and every need I’ve ever had rolled into one tempting package.
“Jessa!” I yell out and she turns to look at me.
“It’s hard to tell from here, but everything about her posture tells me that she’s sad. She waves and then turns back to face the ocean. She clearly wants time alone and maybe I should give her that, but I cant. I take off toward her. It’s time the two of us have this out.
I have a feeling I might have waited too long.
13
Stone
“What are you doing out here alone? Are you okay?”
“Stone, I’m a grown woman. I can walk the beach alone and survive,” she snaps.
Despite her quick show of anger, I see the sadness in her eyes and I can tell she’s been crying because some of her mascara has smeared.
“What’s wrong?”
“You’re being annoying and ruining my—”
“You’ve been crying, Jessa.”
She looks at me and for a minute I think she’s going to try and argue with me, maybe lie. I’m thankful that she doesn’t. She takes a deep breath and then whispers three words that hurt to hear.
“I’ve been crying,” she admits.
“Talk to me, sweetheart,” I plead, hating that something is hurting her and I had no idea. I’m supposed to protect her, make sure she’s happy and I failed.
Completely failed.
“I’m fine. I just need to—”
“Don’t lie to me, Jessa.”
“I’m not lying! I’m just…I don’t really want to talk about it.”
“If it’s upsetting you enough that you’re out here on the beach alone in tears, then you better believe we’re going to talk about it. Now, tell me what’s wrong?”
“Stone—”
“I can’t fix things for you if I don’t know what’s wrong, Jessa. Tell me.”
“That’s not how relationships work, you know? Not that we’re in a relationship I guess, but—”
I pull her into my arms so that my hands rest on her upper arms and I’m looking down at her.
“We’re definitely in a relationship, Jessa. You aren’t allowed to ever doubt that.”
“Okay fine, but my point is still valid. You’re not supposed to fix things for me. That’s not how a relationship works. You can support someone through their problems and be there for them. You can’t take them away.”
“I can.”
“You can’t! I don’t want to argue about this. You’re being nutso right now.”
“Nutso?”
“That’s what I said,” she huffs.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been called nutso before,” I chuckle.
“Glad I could entertain you,” she mutters. “I’m going back to the house. I need to go back to Oklahoma tomorrow. I have things I need to do and bills that I have to pay. When I took the job as your private secretary I didn’t expect to be away from home all the time,” she complains, pulling out of my arms.
I let her take two steps away from me, in shock. She’s clearly upset and it all seems to be directed at me. I grab her arm and spin her back around to face me.
“What’s going on with you?” I ask.
“Let go of me!”
“Not until you tell me what is going on in that pretty little head of yours, Jessa.”
“I don’t want to be here anymore!”
“Fine, then we’ll go back to Oklahoma to my home there—”
“I want to go back to my apartment, Stone. I don’t live with you—”
“You do now,” I correct her.
“I do not. We’re just…” She stops as if she’s trying to grasp words. Finally, she growls under her breath in frustration. Perhaps I shouldn’t find that sound sexy, but I do. “I don’t know what we’re doing, but it’s not real. I need to get back to my real life,” she finally adds, trying to jerk free of my hold.
“Jessa, I am your real life. If you think I’m going to let you go after waiting so long, you’re full of crap. I’ve wanted you for way too long and if you think that now that I have you that I will let you go—”
“That’s part of the problem! You don’t have me. You’re not even trying to have me. It’s driving me crazy.”
“I…What are you talking about? You told me you weren’t ready,” I remind her, not quite believing what I’m hearing.
“That was a week ago!”
“And now you’ve changed your mind?”
“Yes! Well maybe!”
“Which is it, Jessa? You have or you haven’t?”
“Well, I did, but I’m tired of waiting for you now. So I’m going home.”
“You’re tired of waiting for me.”
“That’s what I said!”
“You’re tired of waiting on me,” I repeat unable to believe the shit I’m hearing.
“Will you quit saying that,” she grumbles. I drop my hand from her and she looks like she might run.
“You take one step Jessa and so help me I will scoop you up, take you back to the house, bend you over my desk and spank your ass red.”
“You…I…You wouldn’t dare,” she says with narrowed eyes.
“Try me, sweetheart. Just try me.”
Maybe she’s starting to sense the danger she’s in, because she backs down. I watch as she swallows nervously, my gaze watching her throat muscles that instantly stir the hungry beast inside of me that needs to fuck her. To see her swallow my cock… Jesus.
“Stone—”
“Now is not the time to talk to me, Jessa.”
“It’s not?” she questions cautiously.
“Fuck no, it’s not. That time was before.”
“Before?”
“Do I look like a fucking mind reader to you, Jessa?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Not yet you aren’t.”
“Stone—”
“Answer the question. Do I look like a damned mind reader to you?”
“No,” she whispers.
“No, I do not,” I confirm. “I don’t know shit about reading minds. Did it ever enter your brain to tell me that you wanted me, beautiful? That you were ready for more?”
&n
bsp; “Uh…”
“You’re threatening to leave me, throwing your damn fit, and giving me hell and all I did—all I fucking did—was to respect your wishes.”
“Stone,” she murmurs, but I shake my head, not allowing her to talk.
“I’ve been suffering with a permanent hard-on. My balls have been in so much pain that I threatened to dump ice on them and you want to give me hell because you didn’t speak up and put us both out of our misery. That’s bullshit, Jessa.”
“I…I mean, you didn’t seem to be suffering,” she grumbles.
“Then, you weren’t looking close enough. Your ass was pressed up against a hard dick every night. You don’t think that’s a sign of something?”
“Well, I mean, I noticed you were hard, but I didn’t know. I mean, that could be normal for a man. I’ve never slept with one through the night, or at all really.”
“Christ,” I snarl under my breath, pinching the bridge of my nose and looking down at the sand.
“It’s not normal, Jessa.”
“I think I’m getting that,” she says, quietly.
“Fuck. You’re killing me. I’ve been in misery and all you had to say was you wanted me, but you didn’t. Somehow that got to be my fault and now, when I should be mad at you, you’re being cute.”
“I’m not being cute,” she denies.
“Sweetheart, you were born to be cute. You can’t stop that shit, it comes out of you naturally.”
“Oh…”
“Jesus,” I mutter, rubbing the back of my neck, looking at the woman that owns me, but has no idea.
“Stone?”
“Yeah?”
“Can we forget the fight and fast forward to the part where I tell you I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, sweetheart, we can do that.”
“That’s the first time I’ve seen the dragon truly angry. It wasn’t that bad.”
“Dragon?”
“Your nickname at work,” she says.
“You’ll never see that man. That’s reserved for idiots and people who piss me off.”