by Leslie North
“Howdy!” Henry ran through the barn door and sprinted toward Cal.
“No running in the barn,” Jake said, coming out of the stall. “You know the rules, squirt.”
“Sorry, Uncle Jake,” Henry said and added in a stage whisper to Cal. “He thinks it’ll scare the horses.”
“Some animals are nervous,” Cal stage whispered back. “Uncle Jake is right.”
Henry rocked back on the heels of his cowboy boots in an exact imitation of the way Cal had seen Jake stand. “Will you help me ride King today?”
“That depends on what your mom says.” Cal glanced up as Amy entered the barn. “Is it okay with you if Henry rides his pony? I’ll keep an eye on him.” Cal liked working with the kid and it gave him an out from the conversation with Jake. He didn’t want to hear about Perfect Luke anymore. He’d had enough of that already that morning.
“Fine with me,” she said, giving him a smile.
“Come on.” Henry grabbed Cal’s hand and dragged him through the barn toward the pony.
As they worked together to saddle King, the routine of the work gave Cal time to consider what he was doing. He wanted to be with Amy, but he was up against a lot of forces. Maybe it would be better if he remembered what he came to town to do. Put on a damn good charity rodeo, make money for the town’s community center, and ride off into the sunset. His obligations had been crystal clear to him from the beginning.
And they still would be if not for Amy.
12
While she had a minute to herself, Amy called the mayor to check on a few details for the rodeo and get an update on sales numbers. They were continuing to climb steadily. If the Austin AM interview went well, they’d have no problem selling out the event. Amy felt as though she could breathe freely for the first time since she’d proposed the charity rodeo.
It was going to be a success, and she felt a little proud of herself. The rodeo was the biggest event she’d been in charge of since she’d started working for the mayor’s office, and she’d worried that she wasn’t up to the task—that her degree in public relations hadn’t prepared her after all. Before falling for Luke and getting pregnant, she had a job lined up in the film industry and she’d been confident and excited about the possibilities it presented—but it’s easy to believe you can do anything when you’re twenty-two. When you’re closer to thirty, and life has already dealt you some hard knocks, it’s tougher to trust yourself, professionally…and personally.
Which was what had her so conflicted about Cal. She’d thought during the time in her bed that they’d formed a genuine connection. After sitting at breakfast and picking up on the nervous vibes at the table, she wondered if she’d confused great sex with something more. And then there was whatever she’d walked in on in the barn between Jake and Cal.
Jake had been serious, even somber. What had he been saying to Cal? Had her impulse to take Cal to bed led to conflict between the brothers? It was dicey and complicated, but was it worth it? She’d thought it was during the night, but she was less sure in the light of day. Maybe if she talked to Cal she could get that sense of certainty back. Amy grabbed a jacket and headed for the arena where Cal would be with Henry. She walked slowly, enjoying the sunshine on her bare head.
Cal’s back was to her when she approached. Henry was carefully guiding his pony around the barrels. Neither of them seemed to notice her, so she watched for a few minutes and was pleased with what she saw. Henry listened to Cal’s quietly spoken instructions, changing course or pace when told to, glowing under every word of praise.
“You got it, Henry,” Cal said. “Put a little more pressure on the right rein. Okay, that’s it. Now ease up.” Cal kept a steady dialogue going that was half encouragement and half directions. He was a natural with kids.
And she suddenly felt so lucky. She wasn’t sure what to make of her relationship with Cal, but he was a good man who was great with her son. What more could she ask for? Maybe she should stop worrying and just enjoy being with him.
When Henry had ridden the course perfectly, he came to a stop next to Cal and launched himself off the pony and into Cal’s arms. Cal caught him easily and pulled him into a hug.
“I love you, Uncle Cal,” Henry said.
Amy hadn’t expected that—not yet, anyway. Some of her worry reignited. No matter what happened between her and Cal, he wasn’t likely to stick around. He might return for visits when the circuit brought him close by, but those trips would be short. The mother in her didn’t want that to hurt Henry. If Cal told Henry he loved him too, it would bond the pair closer together—and her son might start to rely on someone who would be gone more than he was there.
But the mother in her also wanted Cal to respond to Henry’s declaration because not having his feelings returned would devastate her son. Cal looked over the boy’s head and caught her eye. She raised an eyebrow when the pause went on too long.
“I love you, too, kid.” His tone was gruff, but she thought he meant what he said. She watched as he lowered Henry to the ground. “Time to give King a rub down and a treat.”
Amy waved to Henry as he took the pony’s reins and headed into the barn, Cal walking at his side. The unnerving thought that they could be father and son struck her. As it was, they were uncle and nephew, which meant Cal would always be part of Henry’s life. As he got older, Henry would come to understand that his Uncle Cal couldn’t be around full time, and he’d be okay with it.
Would she?
She didn’t know how her relationship with Cal would develop. It might just fade out despite his words and lovemaking last night. Would that make things easier or harder as she and Cal continued to cross paths over the coming years? She needed to think about that before she got in much deeper with Cal.
After driving herself half-crazy with conflicting thoughts over the course of the day, she decided she needed to talk to someone. Her best friend Maggie was visiting her sister in Dallas, which left Laura or Diane, her boss. Amy could predict what Diane would say about love affairs. If you want a man, chase him down, hog tie him, and drag him home. From the stories Amy had heard, that was basically what Diane had done to catch her husband, and it seemed both of them were immensely happy.
Amy couldn’t outright talk to Laura about Cal, but she could lead her into a discussion of men and dating. That might be illuminating. Amy found her opportunity while they were preparing dinner together that evening.
“Laura,” Amy said as she chopped vegetables for a salad, “have you ever considered dating again?” As far as Amy knew, Laura hadn’t so much as looked at another man since her husband’s death, but if the right man came along…
“Dating?” Laura said. “I think I’m a little old for that.”
“I’m not talking casual stuff,” Amy clarified. “I’m talking about headfirst, fall in love, this-could-be-real dating.”
Laura laughed. “You’ve got a way of putting it, but no, I haven’t. I can’t imagine finding that again. Marshall was my one true love story.” She paused and got dreamy-eyed before giving her head a shake and going back to stirring marinara sauce. “Besides, I have a life here that I love with you and the boys.”
Amy felt a shred of guilt. Were they holding Laura back? Amy wondered if she and Laura had become co-dependent considering the circumstances.
“And we love being part of your life,” Amy said, “but if there were such a man, what would you do?”
“The circumstances would have to be just right.” Laura set her stirring spoon aside and picked up a glass of red wine. “I mean, I’m not a girl anymore who can leave one life behind for another. No, if I were going to fall in love again, it would have to be with someone who was willing to come into my life. Not the other way around.”
Amy diced a cucumber while she thought about what Laura said. She was far younger than Laura, but that didn’t mean she could pick up her life and follow a man, either. She’d done that for Luke. She’d left a good job prospect and everything f
amiliar behind because she fell in love. And then he’d died—which wasn’t his fault, but which had forced her to build a future for herself, without basing it around him. And she had. She loved her job, loved the town, loved the Thornes. Her son was happy here. She didn’t think she could uproot like that again. As surely as she knew that, she also knew that Cal would leave Darby Crossing. So where did that leave them exactly?
She finished cutting up the vegetables and wiped her hands off on a kitchen towel. Wanting a moment to herself, she made an excuse that she needed to check on Henry. Amy left the kitchen and made her way to her son’s room. He was sitting cross-legged on his bed, absorbed in a book. That made her smile, so she tiptoed past his door to her own room for a minute of privacy.
She was tied up in knots about this. Cal had said this wasn’t a game to him, but did that mean they had a future? What if Cal was picturing a life together, but that life meant leaving everything about her current one behind?
She flopped back on her bed, feeling tired, which might have to do with the late—and very active—night with Cal. She smiled as the memory warmed something inside her. She had to talk with Cal to see what kind of relationship he was imagining for them before she let her attachment to him get any stronger.
This would be easier if she were the type of woman who could have a casual fling and just let things play out naturally, but she was a single mom who’d had a disappointment in love already. She needed to know if it was safe to let herself love Cal the way it would be so easy to do.
13
Cal spent the afternoon approving the photos from the photo shoot to be printed for the autograph sales. A couple of the images were on the embarrassing side, especially the ones with the stick pony, but what the hell, it was for a good cause. The photographer assured him that the ladies would love it.
Cal was only interested in one lady’s opinion. He’d spent the past few nights with Amy. He wondered how many times he could get away with the “slept on the couch” excuse, but it was tough to stay away from her. The sex was great and the emotional connection growing, but he kept getting the sense that she was conflicted about something. Several times he’d thought that she was on the verge of saying something, then she would abruptly change the subject or start kissing him. He hadn’t minded that, but what wasn’t being said nagged at him.
Amy was uppermost in his thoughts, but the entire Thorne household was, too. He liked his biological mother and half-brothers. They were good people and they’d sure welcomed him into their lives. And then there was Henry. It was easy to love the boy since he was a great kid, lively and eager to learn.
It was all good, but he wanted a little space from them. He felt like he was being sucked into a comfortable and happy vortex, but since Cal was eighteen, he’d been unwilling to stay in one place. He didn’t want any of them to get too used to him being around when he knew that he’d start to feel trapped if he stayed too long. So what options did that leave them for a relationship going forward? He wasn’t sure, but he knew he had to figure it out, especially when it came to Amy. To do that, he needed perspective, so he texted Rafael and asked him to meet for dinner. Rafael accepted immediately, claiming he needed a break from grading student essays.
“Howdy, friend.” Rafael clamped his hand on Cal’s shoulder when they met up at the town’s tavern. “I’m not feeling the bar tonight. Let’s get a table.”
They made their way through the tavern, stopping to talk with a few other patrons before taking a seat at a booth toward the back where it was quieter.
“How goes the battle with the textbook company?” Cal asked after they’d placed orders. Rafael gave a casual shrug and Cal thought he saw a flush come to his face. “Any luck?”
“I’ve been talking with Gail,” Rafael said, and Cal didn’t miss the first name usage. “She’s intelligent, knowledgeable, but her perspective is different from mine.”
“How so?” Cal took a sip of the beer the server brought him.
“I want history unvarnished, if you know what I mean,” Rafael said, his fingers tightly gripped around his beer bottle. “If it’s good, show it—and if it’s ugly, show that, too.”
“And the Camp Logan Mutiny is an ugly piece of history?” Cal had looked up some of the details since they’d last spoken about it.
“Yeah, it doesn’t show Texans in a good light, but if you keep covering it over, the truth gets buried. That’s a travesty,” Rafael said, and Cal had to admire his friend’s attitude.
“Did you tell her that?” Cal asked.
“Sure, and she reminded me that textbooks are a multi-million-dollar business in the state of Texas. She has to walk a fine line between representing history accurately and avoiding angering school boards that might decide to go with a different publisher entirely. You have to consider your audience. If you tick them off, they’ll just put the book down—and then nothing gets learned. She made some good points, which I have to respect,” Rafael said the last grudgingly. “But I’m not giving up. Don’t think that for a second. I want to talk with her in person. Maybe if I do that…”
Rafael seemed too reserved, too accommodating considering how angry he’d been. “What aren’t you telling me?” Cal asked.
The flush returned to Rafael’s tanned skin. “She’s distractingly gorgeous. Here, see for yourself.” He pulled his phone out and passed it to Cal, showing a Facebook profile of a woman in her early thirties with long ebony hair and a killer body. Cal took the phone and flipped through several images before passing it back.
“Okay, so she’s pretty,” Cal said. “What does that change?” He was goading Rafael, but he wanted to see what the reaction was.
“Nothing, of course. She’s still wrong.” Rafael said gruffly before taking another look and tucking his phone away, making Cal want to laugh aloud. His friend was smitten with the textbook editor, who a week ago had been his sworn enemy. “I’ll keep you updated. What’s going on with you?”
Cal shrugged. “Just cooling my heels in town, waiting for the rodeo.”
“Not like you to spend this much time in one place.” Rafael shot him a stare. “Making you antsy?”
Was it? Cal had expected it to, but so far, he was feeling okay. The thought made him nervous. “It’s all right. Kind of nice not bronc riding. Nothing’s sore in the morning when I get up.”
“You’re telling me,” Rafael said. He’d left the circuit due to a career-ending injury, but appeared to be happy with his new life. “You’ve got a good opportunity ahead of you in broadcasting. I think you’re a natural for that. You’d make a hell of a teacher, too, but I’m betting I can’t convince you to go in the classroom.”
“Hell no.” Cal wouldn’t mind teaching kids to ride and compete, but he couldn’t image spending his time in the confines of a school building every day. Some classrooms didn’t even have windows. The thought of going all day without seeing the sky made him shudder. “I’m looking forward to a change.”
“Are you?” Rafael sent him another “no bullshit” stare.
“Sure.” Cal tried to work up his excitement. “I think I’ll like interviewing competitors and talking stats. Rodeo is the one thing I know about.” Cal kept talking, trying to list the reasons that his new job was what he wanted. It sounded hollow even to him, and Rafael wasn’t buying it either.
“Let’s get to the unvarnished truth,” Rafael said a few minutes later. “What do you really want?”
Their food was placed on the table, but neither of them started eating. Rafael was an old friend, so Cal said what was on his mind. “The truth is, I’m not going to be happy with anything that means I have to leave Amy and Henry behind.”
“That’s how it is, huh?” Rafael didn’t seem at all surprised.
“Yeah, it is.” The truth suddenly became crystal clear to Cal. He could leave town, but he didn’t want to leave her. He had to figure out a way to keep Amy in his life, and he didn’t have a whole lot of time to do that. He needed to t
alk with her, alone with no distractions or pressure from anyone else. “Rafe, I need a romantic spot to take Amy. Someplace the town folk won’t see us.”
“I’ve got some ideas,” Rafael said as he pulled a notepad from his pocket and flipped it open to a blank page. “Let’s eat and we’ll discuss a good spot you can take a lady.”
“What’s the notepad for?” Cal asked.
“A list of pros and cons for each location.” Rafael stared at him. “You gotta make a list.”
“You’re right.” Cal picked up his burger, feeling re-energized. He would find a way to make this work with Amy that wasn’t short term.
By the time dinner was over, he had narrowed down the romantic possibilities to one place not too far from the ranch that had to be reached on horseback. A trail ride and a picnic seemed the perfect ways to have a discussion with Amy, one that might change his life.
He wished he was the type of man who could offer her a home, but he just wasn’t built that way. Staying in one place for too long made him feel claustrophobic. But life on the road with him meant living in an RV and following the rodeo circuit. Amy might like the change of scenery, he reasoned. And with her marketing skills, she could easily pick up a job with one of the vendors who followed the circuit. They’d be thrilled to have someone with her level of skill. And Henry was easily pleased. He’d love being around the riders and horses. It could be a good life for the three of them.
The more the idea took root, the more he liked it—but he had to remember that Amy might object. If she absolutely refused to be on the circuit, he might be able to find a way to use Darby Crossing as a sort of home base. He could manage small town life if it was only part time. It was the sense of being trapped in place with nowhere to go that had gotten him before when he’d tried to settle down. He was in the middle of his month in Darby Crossing and he wasn’t climbing the walls yet because he had Amy in his life.