by Molly E. Lee
A lump formed in my throat, so large it was hard to swallow around it.
Everything was changing, but this—sitting with my brother and sister, watching our favorite movie of all time—this would stay the same. It would be our constant. No matter what. The notion was more comforting than I’d ever realized.
An hour into the movie, I contemplated the odds that Amber had chosen her hacker handle as a slight homage to the great AcidBurn, and was reminding myself to ask her when my cell buzzed loudly on the table.
“Boo!” Sean and Tessa hollered as I hopped up to answer it, thinking it might be Amber.
I was instantly deflated when I didn’t recognize the number on the screen. “Sorry!” I said, snapping at Tessa and miming her to pause it. She rolled her eyes but did as I stepped away to answer the call.
“Mr. Winters.” Tanner’s voice echoed on the other end of the line.
“Principal Tanner?” I asked, baffled at why I was merited a call on my cell from him.
I raised my free arm at Sean and Tessa’s curious gazes.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“I need you to do something for me. It’s imperative.”
“Okay,” I said, wondering why this couldn’t wait until Monday.
“I’m assuming you’ve read or at least heard about the rebellious blog Ask Me Anything, am I right?”
“I’ve heard about it,” I said, pacing back and forth as I held the cell to my ear.
“Recent posts and protests from parents across the district have made it clear I need to take action.”
“Okay.”
“I need you to uncover the source behind the blog. The creator’s claims to be a Wilmont student have placed the academy under scrutiny.”
“What?” I asked. “I can’t do that.” I hadn’t read the blog religiously, but I knew it was anonymous.
“You must.”
“It would be a major privacy violation, not to mention unethical,” I explained. Not that all my hacks were completely pure, but I never did anything that would hurt someone—unless you counted messing with Sean, which I didn’t, because he started it.
“Winters,” he said, his tone sharp. “The person behind this blog is harming students’ lives. The content is damaging to their minds.”
I scoffed. And you cracking the whip to students to ensure your precious position and awards and grants and raises isn’t? The accusation was hot on my tongue, but I bit it. “Where is the proof?” I asked. I’d heard some parents were in an uproar, but students from all different high schools were rallying behind the site. Tessa had told me that much over the last time I’d brought brownies—something I tried to do at least monthly, if only to keep up with what was going on in her life. She’d said it was a safe space to ask questions without being judged.
“I don’t need proof,” he snapped. “The creator claims Wilmont. That means one of mine is causing this distasteful disturbance within our academic community. The content alone is enough for disciplinary action.”
“I can’t do it,” I said again. “Get someone else.” I knew he couldn’t. Not for something so obviously wrong. Exposing someone because you didn’t agree with their ideals—regardless of the harm it would do to them upon discovery—was beyond unethical. He called me because he didn’t want anyone to know what he was doing.
“I was afraid you’d say that,” he said. “I was hoping to avoid this next piece of the conversation, but you’ve left me no choice.” He cleared his throat. “You know that little stunt someone pulled during my presentation? The one you failed to prevent?”
“Mm-hmm,” I mumbled, adrenaline coursing through my veins. This guy. His threats. They wouldn’t work on me. I’d been on call for him ever since I failed to get the video down soon enough, but this…this task was too messed up to care about that anymore. And if he threatened to not recommend me when MIT called, then I would go straight to VP Howard.
“I discovered who the culprit is. The student did steal my personal laptop. Overnight. Returned it before the sun came up the next day.”
“How’d you figure that out?” And what the hell did it have to do with me?
“I’ve known for quite some time, actually,” he said. “I have cameras in my office.”
I gaped at the phone. “That’s…” Creepy. Invasion of privacy when students are called in there unaware. Creepier. “I’m not following.” There was no way he could hold the theft over me. I hadn’t been the one to lift his shit.
“You will uncover the source behind that horrendous website,” he said. “Or I’ll hand the footage over to the authorities.”
My hand shook as I saw red. I lowered my cell for a second, hitting a few buttons before speaking. “Say again?”
He grumbled. “Find out who is behind the site and bring the information to me, or I’ll hand over the culprit to the authorities.”
“You’re threatening me?” I whisper-hissed, not wanting Sean or Tessa to be involved in this twisted conversation.
“Educating you, son. Educating. That’s what I do.”
“And blackmailing students is a modern-day teaching tool?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.
He had the audacity to laugh. “Wilmont Academy is number one in the district and number five in the nation. The nation, Mr. Winters. I have to do whatever it takes to keep it that way.”
You mean keep your job.
“And reputations, familial relationships, friendships, emotional stability—those fallouts from your education. Do they matter to you?”
“No,” he said flatly. “Blips. A few tears. A new group of friends. None of that matters at your stage of life. It will disappear, but the Wilmont legacy will be remembered for decades to come.”
“That’s all that matters to you—your legacy.”
“That,” he said. “And justice. Those who rebel against me must be made an example of. And this little Ask Me Anything? The person responsible must be punished.”
“For helping students?”
“Harming.”
“According to you. According to your ideals,” I snapped. Everything about Tanner had built up and his empty threats had brought everything to the surface. “Isn’t it your job as a principal to remove your own bias and cultivate programs that help students excel regardless of their sexually active status?”
He laughed again. “You have no idea what it is like to be responsible for the young minds of the future. I do what I have to—whatever I have to—to ensure their success. What seems harsh to you is what will make this world a better place in the years to come.”
Wow. God-Complex-Much?
“Whatever,” I said, wearing a path in my carpet. “This has nothing to do with me. I’m not an errand boy or your personal tech guy.”
“Oh, Mr. Winters,” he said. “You wouldn’t want Tessa to have a black mark on her record before she’s even reached her senior year, would you? I imagine something like jail time or a court date would harm her chances of following you and your brother to MIT someday.”
I halted in my tracks, my eyes falling on Tessa sitting on the couch, laughing at something Sean had said.
Ice froze the fire in my veins.
Tessa.
She’d been hiding something from me.
Something had been eating at her.
Fucking hell.
She’d gone after Tanner. His presentation. She’d…
I rubbed my palms over my face.
“Are you listening now, Mr. Winters?”
“Yes,” I said, the bite gone from my voice.
He had me right where he wanted me. It didn’t matter that I would graduate in mere months. Tessa would be at Wilmont another two years. Sure, she could transfer to another school in the district, but Wilmont was the best. It had more academic programs a
nd extracurriculars than any other. Plus, graduating from Wilmont increased odds of being accepted to an Ivy League.
I would do anything to protect her. To protect that future.
Bastard.
“Sir,” he said.
“What?”
“Yes, sir.”
I clenched my jaw. “Yes, sir.”
“I expect a report on your progress on Monday. Bright and early.”
“Fine.”
“And, Mr. Winters?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t take too long to find this person,” he said. “For Tessa’s sake.”
“Understood.” I ended the call, the cell trembling in my hands. I stared at Tessa while I caught my breath, anger and sadness and confusion storming me.
I had no choice.
I would never throw Tessa to the wolves—aka our principal.
It didn’t matter how messed up outing this person would be. For Tessa…I’d break every law.
After a few deep breaths, I walked back into the living room.
“Took you long enough,” Sean said, reaching for the remote.
“Seriously, bro,” Tessa said, her voice so much lighter than I’d heard it in weeks. “How is Amber?”
I flashed her a soft grin.
“Whoa,” she said, straightening as I sank on the couch, leaning my head back like it was too heavy to hold up. “Everything okay?”
I rolled my head to the side, locking eyes with her.
No. I wish you would’ve talked to me. Told me.
“Fine,” I said. “Everything is fine.”
PrincessQueenB7634 asks: “I think I’m allergic to latex because, reasons. I’m terrified to ask a doc and I know for sure I can’t ask my parents. I’m too scared to go looking, but my boyfriend isn’t. Is there anything else I can tell him to buy so I’m not in so much pain?”
I’m sorry to hear that you’re in pain. That has to be incredibly frustrating. I understand the fear of talking about it, too. That’s why I’m here. Even though I know certain school officials and parents wish I wasn’t.
Luckily, there are several non-latex condoms sold by recognizable brands like Trojan, Durex, and Skyn.
Also lucky, they are in almost every store you’d buy regular condoms at, so your boyfriend should be able to easily find them. Tell him to double-check the ingredients on the back and make sure it says “latex free.” Common material for non-latex are super-intense words like Polyisoprene or Polyurethane, but don’t let that freak you out. If you feel up to Googling it—which I totes understand if you don’t—there are plenty of numbers and commenters who have used them and enjoyed them safely.
But, if the issue of whether you are or aren’t allergic to latex is still bothering you, you could always present the question to your doctor or parents in a different way. For instance, saying you had to wear latex gloves for a volunteer lunch-serving sesh and had a reaction. I’m not condoning direct lying, but when it comes to matters of health, you should always do whatever it takes to keep yourself safe.
I’ll be here crossing my fingers that one of these solutions works for you and that you feel so much better!
In the meantime,
Stay Sexy. Stay Healthy.
Chapter Seventeen
Amber
“You haven’t ever been, have you?” Hannah asked, her voice a whisper as we stood outside the coding room. She held up her phone, the “useful links” tab pulled up on the Ask Me Anything site, focused on the list of places to score birth control.
“No,” I said, swallowing hard. She’d brought up the blog a few times, and each time guilt ate at my insides when I had to act surprised by the content. “Sorry. Mom always picks the pills up for me.”
She rolled her eyes, face-palming herself. “Right,” she said, laughing. “I wish my mom was as chill as yours.”
“Me, too,” I said and wrapped an arm around her shoulder when she pocketed her phone. “Have you tried talking to her about it?”
“OMG no!” she said. “She’d lose her mind. I’d be grounded forever, plus they’d probably pull all my allowance, too.” She sighed.
“But didn’t you say she’s one of the people on the board trying to push out Tanner’s ancient way of thinking? Maybe she’d be more open to it than you think?”
Maybe Hannah was letting her fear overexaggerate her mother’s response?
“Just because she wants progression in the academy doesn’t mean she wants it for her daughter. It’s fine. Is what it is. Let’s talk about something else. Like the fact that it took you two full days to tell me about your date with—”
I clamped my hand over her mouth, glancing behind me and into the room. Dean and Mr. Griffin were in some kind of intense discussion. Once Hannah stopped mumbling against my palm, I dropped it.
“He could’ve heard you!” I hissed.
“So?” she whispered. “He nailed the first date to a T.”
“Yeah, and I totally rewarding him by botching it.”
“Please.” She waved me off. “That’s ridiculous.”
I shrugged. “Back to you.”
“Right,” she said, sighing. “The place I normally go to now has this boutique spa thing right next to it.”
“So?”
“So,” she continued. “My mother now frequents said spa.”
“Shit.”
“Double shit,” she agreed.
“Okay,” I said. “Are you going to go to the one on Ninth?”
She tilted her head. “How did you know about the one on Ninth?”
I jolted internally, realizing my massive slip. Ms. Ask Me Anything knew about a variety of places to get birth control sans a parent’s consent. The virgin Amber whose mom picks up her pills for her shouldn’t have a clue. “You legit just had it up on your phone,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant about it even though I couldn’t have possibly read the entire post in the brief time she had it up.
“Duh.” She narrowed her gaze. “And whoever Ask Me Anything is, she’s been on point so far, right?”
“I don’t know. I don’t follow her religiously.”
“You should!” Hannah waggled her eyebrows. “She’s legit amazing.” She glanced around the hallway, the place thin with students since school had ended. “I keep wondering who she is.”
My skin tightened, like the jolt to my senses could somehow shrink me so much she wouldn’t be able to see what I was hiding.
“You know Regent Academy ran a piece about the blog in their paper?”
“What?” I snapped.
“Yeah,” she said, adjusting her bag on her shoulder. “Jake and I saw it when we went to Carla’s party Friday night.”
The same night I was having the best non-date of my life, Hannah was reading about my blog from another school’s paper.
“The girl who wrote the piece was showing it off on her iPad. Said her principal lost her shit over it. Tried to get the journalism professor to take it down, but he refused. Said it was an insightful piece about the ways the peer-led blog is helping students or something.”
A warm petal of pride bloomed in my chest, a small smile shaping my lips. “That’s awesome,” I said, then quickly added, “that a teacher was willing to back his student.”
“Right?” She nodded. “That’s what I said to Jake. There are a lot of cool teachers here, but most of them are terrified of Tanner.” She glanced around like he might pop up at any moment. “Rightfully so. Am I awful when I say I wouldn’t be sad if the board finally pushed him out?”
“No, I completely agree,” I said. “But Ms. Howard is legit.”
“Totally.” Hannah waved enthusiastically as she spied something over my shoulder, and I didn’t need to check to know Jake was headed our way. The sappy look in her eyes said it all. The same one I�
��m sure happened to me whenever Dean opened his mouth to say…words.
“Hi, Jake,” I said before he’d rounded me to get to Hannah.
“Amber,” he said, scooping Hannah in a hug that lifted her off her feet. “Gorgeous,” he said to her, rubbing his nose along her jaw like he wanted to bathe in her scent.
Maybe if it was something like cedar, Red Bull, and soap.
Dean’s scent.
A warm shiver raced up my spine, some true physical heat lapping up my back.
“Hey, Pixie.” Dean’s voice filled my ears, and I bit back my grin as I turned toward him.
“Hey,” I said, my voice cracking as I looked up at him. He was so tall and his eyes were so open and more blue than gray today. Probably because he wore a bright blue T-shirt that made his eyes—and his lithe muscles—pop.
“Hi, Dean!” Hannah said, with enough innuendo to curl my stomach inward. “Excited for Code Club?”
Dean and I cringed at the same time, but he smiled at her. “Always,” he said, glancing down at me. “Are you recruiting them?”
I burst out laughing. “These two?” I motioned to them. “No way. Leave them to their own devices in a dark, secluded room?” I huffed air through my lips. “They’d never get anything done.”
Dean laughed.
Jake shrugged. “Come on,” he said, wrapping his arms around Hannah from behind. “You wouldn’t, either, if you were dating someone as brilliant as this girl.”
Hannah blushed, rolling her eyes. “Stop,” she teased him. “We were just talking about Ask Me Anything,” she said, eyeing Dean. “Do you read it?”
Dean straightened and tilted his head back and forth. “Sometimes,” he said before glancing at me. “Whoever it is…the girl sure knows how to code. Any ideas on who it might be?”
A rock lodged itself in my throat, and I was certain I’d burst into flames right then and there. Why did Hannah have to bring it up? Why did he have to be curious?
I shrugged. “There are six girls in Griffin’s class,” I said. “Holly, Kristy, Sara, Quinn, Monroe, and me. Could be any one of them.”