by Molly E. Lee
I ground my teeth, and Dean crossed his arms over his chest but didn’t say a word.
“I’m sorry.” She really meant that, too, from the look on her face.
I took a few deep breaths, allowing my anger to simmer. This wasn’t her fault, not even close. She was one of the good ones. Someone who actually cared about what happened to students now and when they left Wilmont.
“She was a sophomore,” I said, looking to Dean. “Do you know her name?”
“Jesse, something,” he said. “I think she’s in Tessa’s art class. Not sure.”
“Red hair, father is on the academic board,” I added, giving Ms. Howard every detail I could.
“Wonderful,” she said, but sounded far from happy. “I know her. I’ll seek her out.” She opened the door for us. “I’m sorry I can’t do more,” she said. “But,” she continued, her voice a whisper, “I promise you both this. If I ever do get solid, irrefutable proof?” She pressed her lips together. “I’d put my own job on the line to make sure it was heard.”
Dean and I nodded, and I gave her an encouraging smile. “Thank you,” I said. “For being there.” I meant it. The woman deserved a freaking gold medal for working with this on her shoulders. Knowing the wrongness of a situation without being able to do anything about it.
Dean walked shoulder to shoulder with me back to the coding room, and we packed up our gear, going through the motions, though both clearly in our own heads.
“Never a dull moment,” he finally said as we headed to the parking lot, but I could tell his heart wasn’t really in the joke.
“Insane.” I shook my head, dropping my gear in my car. “I knew he was a…” I stopped myself from saying dick. “But I never suspected this.”
Dean leaned against his opened driver’s side door. “Kind of makes what we’re doing have even more purpose, huh?”
I grinned. Hell yeah it did. My constant battles over whether the growing blog was too much for me to handle, too risky, too much of a middle finger in Tanner’s face, evaporated. I needed to push the boundaries even more. Push it so much it would hit him over the head enough to rattle his routine. Maybe if he saw it, really saw it, and the good it was doing, the help it was giving…maybe he would have a wake-up call about his methods. Let his personal views take a back seat and allow the good of the many overcome his own beliefs.
“Exactly,” I said. “Late night coming up?” I asked, wondering if his motivations had been as invigorated as much as mine had.
“Likely. Why?”
“I’ll bring the coffee tomorrow,” I said, and winked at him before sinking behind the wheel.
As I drove home, I was beyond happy that Dean had been with me tonight. That we were in this twisted game together.
DC.
With a partner like him, I felt damn near unstoppable.
And now that I knew who I was truly facing?
That’s exactly what I needed.
A couple of hours later, still slightly fuming from the scene with Tanner, I found a perfect question for tomorrow’s post. I’d wanted to push the boundaries, see how far I could take things while also still selecting questions that I thought would benefit more people than just the one asking—but this one…
If a post on sex toys wasn’t enough of a jab at Tanner, I didn’t know what was.
My fingers flew over the keys as I typed up my response and then finally scheduled it to go live tomorrow morning. Powering down for the night, I crawled under the covers of my bed. The act was like taking off my mask and slipping into my real role.
Something about being Ask Me Anything made me feel powerful and overwhelmed at the same time. I had this huge responsibility to my followers and yet, lying in bed, sighing against my Marvel sheets, I felt…small. Like the weight of what I was doing might swallow me whole.
In front of the computer? Or witnessing a near blackmail attempt? It was easy to play the Avenger.
Alone, in the dark, in my room—I wondered how it was possible I’d gotten here. I wondered if it was okay that I had taken strength from this process, valued the help I was giving and using that pride and hope to heal my own cracked heart.
I forced my eyes to close, begging my constantly churning mind to switch to sleep mode for at least a few hours.
Sex toys.
God, I was virtually shouting about vibrators in direct opposition to Wilmont’s Dark Ages approach to sex.
I chuckled in the silence.
Well, at least—I hoped—the person who’d written in would take comfort in my response. Would feel reassured and find relief in the answer.
And in the end? That’s all I could ever hope for.
Question of the Day
Volleyballstar6543 asks: “My boyfriend recently went to college, and while we’re making the long-distance thing work, I’m missing not only him but his…physical contact. We have phone sex, but I feel like I need more than just me to get me there. It’s slightly embarrassing, but I want to buy a vibrator, or something, but I have no clue where to start. Help!”
I’m super glad to hear that you’re making long-distance work! That is such a wonderful thing and shows you two really care about each other. And you have no need to be embarrassed. It’s completely natural to crave that intimacy even if your partner is hundreds of miles away.
And, lucky for us, we live in a digital age where almost anything can be ordered online. This saves you the hassle of finding a specialty shop and browsing the overwhelming selection of items out there—seriously, there is a ton.
My top recommendation would have to be the Smile Maker or another product from the same company. They are top-rated for their quality and execution and have over five thousand five-star reviews by customers worldwide. If none of those pique your interest, I would recommend researching what will best fit your needs and then triple check the reviews. Customer satisfaction is the number one clue on if a product is worth it or not, no matter what that product’s use may be for.
If shipping to your house is a problem, there are some major retail stores that allow you to purchase online but pick up in store. Or you could always ask your boyfriend to purchase it and then ship it to you in a personal package from him to not draw suspicion. If it’s not an issue, then more power to you!
I hope this helps keep things fresh and continues to fan the flames in your relationship!
In the meantime,
Stay Sexy. Stay Healthy.
Chapter Eighteen
Dean
Four weeks later and what had happened after Code Club with Mr. Tanner was still eating at my mind. That and his incessant demands on my progress to uncover the person behind Ask Me Anything. The whole situation was twisting my nerves. I had a few ideas of who might be behind it—thanks to the person declaring herself a female Wilmont student and for being skilled enough to run the site to be virtually untraceable. I hadn’t begun to dig hard enough yet, instead hoping I could find a way out of this that involved clearing Tessa and not ratting out whoever was behind the blog.
After my casual questions four weeks ago before Code Club, Amber had turned my gaze away from her. I hated to even think it could be her, but there were—like she’d said—six girls in Griffin’s class. Any of them would probably be able, if they studied hard enough, to run a site like Ask Me Anything. Amber could do it in her sleep, but when I’d asked her if she had any ideas on who might be behind it, she’d done the same thing I’d done and started with the girls in Griffin’s class. It was a relief to know it wasn’t Amber because I wouldn’t want that kind of heat hanging over her head.
Even having the list of girls, though, I was still trying to work the problem—to find a solution that wouldn’t result in me being an unethical jerk and outing someone who demanded privacy—that, and a way to free Tessa from Tanner’s grasp. She didn’t even know—but now I unders
tood her distance. After our Hackers movie night, I’d seen her even less. I wasn’t pushing her on the issue because now I fully understood why she needed space, her guilt over pulling the prank at the beginning of the year likely driving her away from me.
It was good, in a way—the constant distraction. Because my brain had already presented me with the perfect solution to get even with Tanner. One that threw my current white hat plan in the garbage.
You can’t.
I forced the voice of reason out of my head.
Sure, this new idea was more gray than white…practically on its way to black, but Tanner’s heart was blacker. The way he threatened me and Tessa, the way he treated his students, using them as pawns to gain favors and awards and grants and raises. Pathetic. People deserved to know the truth.
The truth wasn’t black hat.
Hurting someone’s reputation is.
Not my fault he behaved this way. I had the capabilities to bring to light all his wrongs. Wasn’t I obligated to do so because of that power? But not before I cleared Tessa completely.
The battle went on for so long, it split my head.
I reached to shut my laptop screen but paused when a chat box appeared.
PixieBurn: You’re up
My headache instantly eased at the sight of Amber’s avatar. I loved that she rocked late hours like I did.
NightLocker: So are you
I shifted the laptop, scooting deeper into the four pillows on my bed. We’d spent more and more time together over the weeks, falling into this easy rhythm of back and forth that I’d come to count on.
PixieBurn: What are you doing Saturday?
NightLocker: Probably coding, why?
PixieBurn: Want to take the day off?
PixieBurn: The entire night, too?
PixieBurn: Annnd part of the next morning?
I reread each of her words a few times, raking my fingers through my hair as they sunk in.
NightLocker: Um...
NightLocker: Is this some elaborate scheme to kill me?
PixieBurn: Only if you get out of line
I laughed out loud at that, shaking my head at the screen. What was she up to?
NightLocker: I’d never?
PixieBurn: Then you’re safe
NightLocker: What’s up?
PixieBurn: I want to make it up to you
NightLocker: Make what up to me?
PixieBurn: The non-date I botched
NightLocker: You didn’t. I told you that.
PixieBurn: Regardless
PixieBurn: Are you in?
I sighed, wishing like hell she didn’t think she had anything to make up for. I’d told her as much. Maybe I should’ve tried a little harder these past weeks to make it perfectly clear that she had done nothing wrong. We’d gone on more non-dates each weekend—sometimes to her work to code, sometimes to a movie, others just to grab food and chill at her house. Easy. Fun. Refreshing.
I’d almost asked her a few times to help me uncover who Ask Me Anything was, but in the end, I’d always swallowed the urge. I wouldn’t rope her into this mess. Exactly the reason I’d kept her in the coding room when she’d been hell-bent on giving Tanner a piece of her mind after we’d witnessed the blackmail on Jesse. Anything I could do to keep my two favorite girls—Tessa and Amber—off Tanner’s radar was worth it.
My fingers hovered over the keys, wondering where this newfound sense of adventure had come from. Was it me? Was it all the time we spent together? A little bit of warm pride shot through my blood—the thought that I had anything to do with bringing Amber out of her recent darkness…but no, she didn’t need me to do that. She was strong and standing all on her own. The girl didn’t need anyone, but those who were in her circle were lucky as hell to be there.
NightLocker: Definitely
NightLocker: Where are we headed?
PixieBurn: You’ll need to pack an overnight bag
She typed her response faster than I could blink. And the words she’d typed? Knocked the breath right out of my lungs.
A whole night with Amber?
A slew of images rushed through my head—all of them hotter than the next.
Lock it up.
I shook off the images and focused on the one thing that mattered.
This was her way of saying she trusted me.
I couldn’t ignore the way my heart filled at the thought.
I caught my breath and set my fingers on the keys.
NightLocker: Is that so?
PixieBurn: Don’t get too excited
NightLocker: Too late
PixieBurn: Don’t make me regret inviting you
NightLocker: I don’t even know where we’re going
PixieBurn: It’s a surprise
NightLocker: Now you’re just copying
PixieBurn: Nope
PixieBurn: Mine is SO much better
I grinned. All earlier frustrations forgotten and replaced by beautifully torturous new ones.
This girl.
She was coming back to herself. To the playful, feisty banter I knew her for before. Though she’d never been this flirty before.
Thanks to him.
And I wasn’t at all sad about it now. But I couldn’t let her get away with it that easy.
NightLocker: Hard to top arcade and food trucks
PixieBurn: I will top it
NightLocker: I’ll be the judge of that
PixieBurn: Thought it didn’t matter anyway
NightLocker: What?
PixieBurn: Who was on top
The pads of my fingers froze on the keys, and my eyebrows climbed right up my head.
Amber twisting my words.
Flirting.
Bickering.
Fucking heaven. I could do this all night and never get tired of it.
Circling back to her last sentence, I blew out a breath. The temperature of my dark room had risen a few degrees.
NightLocker: It wouldn’t
NightLocker: It doesn’t
NightLocker: You’ll realize that someday. If we’re together it’s fun. No question
PixieBurn: Maybe I already have
The girl was sending jolts of electricity throughout my system.
What was she saying?
That she finally realized we were great together? That us might be worth the time and risk?
Or, was it just that she could finally trust me as a friend, fully let me in? Talk to me about anything and everything?
Does it matter either way?
No. It didn’t.
With Amber, I’d take whatever she was willing to give me.
I cared about her that much.
Didn’t stop the images of tasting her kiss from rolling through my head.
PixieBurn: Will your parents be cool with the overnight trip?
That did.
Talk about an ice-cold bucket of water. Bringing up my parents.
Low blow, Pixie.
I could picture her laughing her cute butt off in her room, her laptop shaking from her giggles.
NightLocker: I’m 18
PixieBurn: So
PixieBurn: So am I
NightLocker: They’ll be fine
NightLocker: Be easier if I knew where we were going
PixieBurn: You wouldn’t tell me
PixieBurn: I won’t tell. It’d ruin it
NightLocker: Stubborn Pixie
PixieBurn: Annoying?
I scoffed at the screen.
That asshole. He made her second-guess herself far too much.
Even though I knew she didn’t need me to, I wanted to remedy every wrong action he’d taken. Help her realize how incredible she was until she never questi
oned her actions again. I wanted to show her there were people in the world who valued her—show her something maybe she was blind to when she looked in the mirror.
NightLocker: Not even close
PixieBurn: Cause I could tone it down
NightLocker: Don’t you dare
NightLocker: I like you just the way you are
I knew the words were cheesy as hell the second I hit send, but I couldn’t help it. She needed to know. To understand that not all guys were afraid of her spark.
PixieBurn: You could be a little less perfect
PixieBurn: If we’re on the subject
NightLocker: I try so hard
NightLocker: But it just never works
NightLocker: I’m the perfect guy
PixieBurn: LOL
PixieBurn: Alright
PixieBurn: Be ready at 8 on Saturday
NightLocker: AM?
Oh damn. Not a.m. Where the hell was she taking me?
Thoughts of my earlier suspicion of her trying to kill me returned. Surely a wake-up call that early on a non-school day would be enough to end me.
PixieBurn: Yes
NightLocker: Groan
PixieBurn: If you’re not up for it, I can ask Hannah
NightLocker: You better bring coffee
PixieBurn: Only if you’re a good boy until then
NightLocker: You never know
PixieBurn: LOL
PixieBurn: We should sleep
NightLocker: Are you saying you’re in bed right now?
There went those flames again, licking my skin and heating my blood. I tried not to think about what kind of PJs Amber wore…but failed.
Shorts and a T?
Sweats and a tank?
Silk boxers and matching spaghetti strap?
The images flipped through my mind like fast reels of old-school tape. Honestly, it didn’t matter how I pictured her or what I pictured her in. It was the hacker-pixie that drove me wild. Had me thinking things I shouldn’t—like dates, and lazy Saturdays, and partnered hacking tourneys.
PixieBurn: Yes
PixieBurn: Aren’t you?
NightLocker: I am
PixieBurn: So
PixieBurn: Let’s go to sleep
NightLocker: Alright, Pixie