by Molly E. Lee
His grip loosened, but he didn’t let go as the truth of my words caught up in his mind. He knew how good I was, even if he never acknowledged it.
If he truly knew me, then he’d know I wasn’t that kind of hacker. That I wouldn’t ever follow through with it. If he kept a hold of me like this, though, I might just reconsider.
“Don’t,” he said, almost a plea. “Please. I won’t say anything. I swear.”
“And you’ll stay the hell away from me.”
He nodded, and I eyed the hands still on my shoulders.
His fingers slid down my arms too slowly, but I sighed.
Finally, I’d faced him.
I’d voiced the fact that I had done nothing wrong. That even if I had had the sexual experience he’d said I had, and then said no, I was still in the right. Because it should always be my choice what I did or who I did it with. No one else’s.
I’d won.
“Get the fuck away from her!” I heard Dean’s voice, the rage in the words, before I saw him fly across the room.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Dean
“Stay the hell away from me.”
Amber’s voice had sounded from inside Jake’s closed door—Hannah had sent me this way saying she’d seen Amber head in there a while ago.
Hand on the knob, I’d turned it, but it was locked.
Before I could blink, before I could think, I’d busted the lock, my shoulder stinging something fierce.
“Get the fuck away from her!” The words had flown from my mouth the second I saw Brandon towering over her.
Red.
Everything was red as I lunged for him now.
“Dean, stop!” Amber, a flash of pink, stepped in front of me, her hand on my chest.
Every sense narrowed to her, the adrenaline in my veins cooling a fraction.
“He’s not worth it,” she said, eyeing where Brandon stood, fists clenched, not a foot away.
“Are you hurt?” I finally asked, taking her face in my hands.
“No,” she said, but I could feel her trembling. She gripped my forearms, holding on to me like I was the only thing that could keep her solid as she craned her head around my shoulder. “He didn’t…” She shook her head. “I handled it.” Her eyes turned to slits as she glared at him. “You won’t bother me again,” she said. “Right?”
Brandon’s jaw flexed, but he shook his head.
“Damn right you won’t,” I said, wanting nothing more than to stalk the distance and make my threat stick. The trembling pixie in my arms stopped me. I walked us to the door. “You step an inch within her space, and I swear to God I will make you disappear.”
I didn’t bother waiting for him to respond. Instead, I glanced down at Amber, her eyes wide and panicked, her body jerky while she walked. I swiped an arm underneath her legs, picking her up and cradling her to my chest as I walked down the hall. She kept a tight grip on my neck, and I mouthed I’ve got her to Hannah and Jake, who gaped at us from across the room.
I’d owe Jake for the door, but I couldn’t care less.
I set Amber into the passenger seat of my car and drove. As far away from the place as I could. Like the distance would erase the situation.
Amber was silent, inside her head the entire ride to my house.
I didn’t push. I knew better.
My pixie, impossible to catch. She had to come to me.
Always.
She let me take her hand and lead her up to my room, a deep sigh flowing past her lips when I’d settled her onto my bed. I took a seat in the chair at my desk, watching her. Waiting.
The gears behind her eyes clicked and churned. She opened her mouth a few times before those beautiful lips popped closed. A frustrated groan and she shoved her palms against her eyes.
I went to her, and pulled her hands from her face.
“Pixie,” I whispered, brushing some tears off her cheeks.
She groaned again. “I’m sorry, Dean,” she said. “This is like the third time you’ve wiped away my tears. I swear I’m not doing this crap on purpose.”
I furrowed my brow and shook my head. “I don’t care,” I said, holding her face in my hands, forcing her to look in my eyes. “As many times as it takes.” I swiped my thumb under her eye. “As long as it takes.” I trailed my index finger in the path of wetness. “I’ll be here. Doing whatever is in my power to help you.”
Her eyes glittered again, more so, if that was possible.
“You don’t have to,” she said. “I…” Anger sharpened her features. “I’m okay. I am. I stopped him on my own. Stood up to him. Shut him down. I just thought I was stronger than this. That my hate would prevent me from”—she held out her trembling fingers, gesturing to the way her entire body still shook—“this reaction.”
“You can’t possibly control it,” I said, interlacing our fingers in her lap.
“I should be able to,” she said, her eyes lilting to the side.
“Do you…?” I pressed my lips together before continuing, not wanting to push her. “Can you tell me about what went down tonight?”
Another shiver raked her body, and I pulled her into my lap, trying like hell to double my size and envelop her. Instead, I folded my arms around her, my chest absorbing the shock from her vibrations.
“I went into Jake’s room for some space,” she said without looking up at me. “I was checking the—” Her words stopped short and I could feel her face clench where she rested it. “Checked my cell to see if you’d texted. Then got distracted with some other stuff. Didn’t hear him come in.”
She was silent for so many breaths.
“Then,” she said, shrugging, “he…it was like he wanted closure. Or to get back together. Acted like I owed him both those things. That I was the one who had ruined us. Led him on.” She rubbed her palms over her face. “And the more he blamed me, the more he spoke like what he’d done was normal, and that I was the broken one…the angrier I got. And then—” She choked on a sob, the desperate sound kicking up the adrenaline still lingering in my veins. I wanted to kill him in that moment for whatever it was he’d done to her…again.
“I threatened him,” she said, shocking the rage right out of me. “I threatened him with the worst possible things, Dean.” She hid her face. “Told him I would do all kinds of black-hat stuff if he came near me again, or if I found out he’d done something to another girl.”
I smiled at her, pride storming through my chest. I pulled her hands away, shifting her in my lap so I could catch her gaze. “That’s a good thing, Amber,” I said, my tone soft. “Why are you crying?”
“Because,” she said. “I wanted him to feel weak and vulnerable and terrified. I enjoyed watching the reality sink in and know what I could do to him.”
“Good,” I said. “He deserves it. He doesn’t deserve your tears. And you sure as hell don’t need to feel guilty over it.”
“But it makes me no better than him!”
“You are better than him. You are a million times better than trash like him.” I sighed. “Amber, you needed to use whatever weapons you had to get him to back off. It was smart. I’m proud of you.”
She raked her fingers through her hair, the tears finally ebbing.
“I wish I would’ve gotten out sooner,” I said, the anger in my gut roaring at Tanner for keeping me so damn late. All in the hopes I’d find the wraith that had become the bane of his existence—and my new hero. Anyone who could scare Tanner this much had me in their corner.
“I shouldn’t have gone,” she said.
“No,” I snapped. “You can’t let him dictate when and where you have fun with your friends.”
“Damn,” she said. “I’ve never been so ready for graduation.”
“Me, too,” I agreed.
She smiled, and it turned the h
ot anger in my blood to soothing warmth. One I wished I could inject in her to stop her from shaking. I rubbed my hands up and down her arms. “Hey,” I said, glancing over my shoulder as I tugged her from the bed. “You want to take a hot shower?”
Her eyes flew to mine, the swarm of emotions from before switching to one: full-on desire.
My mouth dropped, and I cleared my throat. “No,” I said before cringing. “I mean, yes, but…not what I meant.” The words tangled in my mouth. “I meant for you. To get warm? To take the edge off the shock.”
A small smile shaped her lips as she stared up at me. “I don’t really want to go home right now,” she admitted.
“I don’t want you to, either.” I wanted her with me, where I could draw her from herself, from overanalyzing the situation and somehow letting that jerk make her feel guilty when she was so far from blame.
“Are you sure it’s okay?” she asked, then glanced down. “I don’t have any other clothes.”
“I’ll find something,” I said, opening the door to the bathroom that connected to my bedroom. I locked the other door, just in case Tessa wandered this way. I leaned over the tub, twisting the handle in the secret-code way in order to get it to not scald her. “Don’t touch that,” I said, grinning. “Any movement and you’ll either get burned or iced.”
“Noted,” she said, folding her arms around herself.
“Okay,” I said, grabbing a clean towel from the cabinet, thankful Mom had stocked it before she and Dad had left for a weekend business trip. “I’ll just…be out here.” I spun on my heels, hating how damn heavy they felt. Split in two: wanting to stay and knowing I needed to go.
“Dean?” she said as I stepped out the door.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you,” she said. “For being there. Here.”
I glanced over my shoulder. “DC, remember?”
“Always.”
I nodded and shut the door behind me before that hot, churning want inside me convinced me to stay.
After rifling through my drawers, I found an old pair of sweats and a smaller black T-shirt for Amber, sitting it safely on the sink when I was certain she was in the shower and hidden by the curtain. Booking it out of there, I opened my laptop, trying like hell to distract myself.
Don’t think about her in the shower.
Don’t think about her naked in the shower.
Don’t think about her naked.
Damn. You.
It was impossible.
The girl of my dreams, my Pixie, was taking a shower not twenty feet away.
I shifted in my seat, unable to read the line of code on the screen. Another five minutes and I gave up, shutting it.
I could’ve used the time to continue my search for the source of Ask Me Anything, but my brain was one-tracked. The entire time at Tanner’s office I’d researched the site, filing through every blog and published comment the blogger allowed.
It wasn’t anywhere near close to the evil Tanner had spouted. Honestly, it seemed no worse than the magazines Tessa kept stocked in her room. The content was fun and exciting and helpful—a killer combo. But, with the content being about sex or more sensitive topics, I could see why the parents were in an uproar about it. I just wished Tanner didn’t have what he did to force me to find the source—but now that I knew where he had the footage hidden…
Maybe, if everything went like I wanted it to, I wouldn’t have to reveal the source in the end. That is, if I ever found out who it was in the first place.
I racked my brain, shuffling through all the information I’d gathered recently. There was something familiar about the voice of the blogs that I couldn’t put my finger on—a nagging that itched the back of my mind. Maybe I’d heard the person speak before in class? Like in those presentations Griffin had us do bi-weekly or something—
Amber cleared her throat, snapping me from my thoughts. I spun around in my chair, my heart leaping into my throat at the sight of her. The sweats hung low on her hips—she’d rolled the band twice to get them to stay—and the black shirt was wide around her shoulders. Her normally feathered hair was now wet and slicked back, her face fresh and free from makeup.
“Beautiful,” I said, unable to stop the whisper from my tongue.
She chuckled, fingering the ends of the oversize shirt. “It’s a new look.”
“I love it.” I swallowed hard. “Better?”
She nodded, moving to sit on my bed.
Heat churned in my core—the sight of her in my clothes on my bed…
“No more shaking,” she said, holding up her hand proudly. “See?”
I moved, unable to stay away. I took her hand in mine, planting a kiss on her steady palm. “Good,” I said, finally breathing now that I knew the internal cold had faded from within her.
“Are your parents going to be upset that I’m here so late?” she asked.
I shook my head. “They’re out of town.”
Her eyes widened for a moment, the truth of that realization settling in behind them.
“But I can take you home whenever you feel like it,” I said, not wanting her to feel obligated to stay just because she could.
She wetted her lips, glancing down at our hands. “Mom thinks I’m staying at Hannah’s tonight.”
“Or I can take you there, too. Whatever you want.”
“And if I want to stay here?” Her eyes found mine, and the breath stalled in my lungs.
“Of course,” I said, finally finding the air in the room.
Her shoulders relaxed, and she flashed me a soft smile. “Good,” she said. “Because I feel safe here. Not that I have a reason to not feel safe but—”
I cut off her ramble with my lips against hers. Kissing away the blame and guilt she kept pointing at herself. The way she continued to brush off her past like it hadn’t haunted her continuously. Like there wasn’t a part of her that would always be afraid after what had happened. I knew it didn’t matter how fast or how far it had gone—it was an act of betrayal, something she’d never seen coming and could never forget.
Her fingers were in my hair, tugging me closer. She kissed me harder, longer, her breaths full and deep between my lips as if she was siphoning the energy from within me. I snaked my arms around her waist, hefting her onto my lap and locking her above me. Letting her be in control, letting her take whatever she wanted…needed to feel.
I wanted to kiss her and breathe into her until she found herself again. Wanted to claim her mouth until there was no doubt in her mind that I loved her. That I needed her on a level I couldn’t comprehend. Wanted to show her what my heart screamed but my tongue was too afraid to say out loud.
“Dean,” she said, sighing as she broke our kiss, her forehead against mine, a leg on either side of my hips. I held her warm body over mine, terrified to move.
“Pixie.” I breathed slowly to ease the race in my heart. The demand for more in my core.
She didn’t release the soft grip on my hair as she moved away enough to lock eyes with me. “I love you.” Her breath was warm on my lips as she said the words. “I know that’s fast,” she hurried on. “That it’s only been five months and probably way too soon after everything that happened. But—”
“Pixie,” I said, smiling as I cupped her cheek. “Always trying to top me.”
“What?” she whispered.
“You had to say it first.” I smiled. “I love you. So damn much. Couldn’t help it. Despite what we kept saying, that neither of us wanted this.” I kissed her quickly. “Guess it’s what we needed.”
She kissed me again, soft and sweet. When she pulled back, she laughed. “This is kind of intense, huh?”
“Yeah,” I said, gazing up at her. “I can put on some T-Swift if it’ll lighten the mood?”
Her full, rich laugh shook us both until we were falling s
ideways on my bed. She shifted next to me, tucking an arm underneath the pillow to face me. “I’m actually kind of tired,” she said, biting her lower lip.
I stretched before rolling out of bed. “Rain check on the T-Swift,” I said, snapping my fingers. “I can turn the light off and let you rest. I’ll go crash on the couch downstairs.” I headed toward my door.
“Or you could stay,” she said.
I glanced back at her, arching a brow.
“We have slept in the same bed before,” she said, a wicked smile shaping her lips.
“I remember the night with stunning clarity,” I said, swallowing hard.
Color flooded her cheeks and she bit her lower lip. “I haven’t stopped thinking about it…about you for one second since,” she said, her voice slightly breathless.
I flicked off the light, my heart hammering in my chest each step I took back to the bed in the darkness. Sure, we’d slept in the same bed the night of the deadmau5 concert, and we’d shared something more intimate than I’d ever experienced before, but we’d slowed it down.
Now she knew I loved her.
And I knew she loved me.
And my heart knew just how much more I wanted to give her. Share with her.
Everything.
But I wouldn’t move an inch without her say-so. I’d be content to hold her all night, and happy as hell to wake up to her in my arms, too. I’d wait forever for my Pixie.
Lifting the blankets, we both settled under them, and Amber scooted into my open arms until the tip of her nose brushed my chin.
I rubbed smooth circles low on her back with one hand, and rested my other against her hip, a deep sigh slipping past my lips with her slight weight against me.
Slowly, she shifted, hooking one leg over my hip, drawing her body flush with mine as she tilted her head up. I glanced down, locking eyes with her before she pressed a kiss to my lips.
There was something different about this kiss—maybe it was the way she arched against me, maybe it was because she was in my clothes, in my bed, but there was a primal need behind the way her tongue parted my lips, a hunger neither of us could stop.