by Rachel Hanna
Dawson laughed. "Yes, last night we had several brainwashing sessions where she told me what to say."
"Very funny. I don't know what to do."
"What can you do? Burn down her bakery?"
“You probably shouldn't give me any ideas right now because I have a lighter, and I can get an alibi,” Julie said, laying her head back down on the table.
"Look, there's nothing your mother can do that is going to break us apart. There's nothing she can do to make you lose your business or your friendships or your relationships with your daughters.”
"You underestimate her."
"Maybe this is a chance for you to build a new relationship with her. Set boundaries. You're a grown woman. You have the right to tell her what's acceptable and what's not acceptable."
She looked at him. “Bless your heart. That all sounds very logical. But, this is my mother, and you can't use logic when it comes to her. I'm telling you she will cause trouble one way or the other, and waiting to figure out how she's going to do it is like sitting on a grenade waiting for it to explode."
“Okay, I didn't need that visual."
Julie finally laughed. "Please just promise me you'll protect yourself. I'm going to encourage her to find another place to live as soon as possible, but I hope you won't let her get in your head. She's very good at that."
"I promise. I'll be on guard."
“I mean, maybe it would be better if I had her come sleep on my sofa."
Dawson reached across the table and took her hands. "You have enough on your plate. I'm a grown man, and I can handle your mother. And who knows, one day she might be my mother-in-law."
Julie stared at him, her eyes wide. That was the first time she’d heard him mention anything about ever getting married, and honestly she hadn't thought about it much herself. Her marriage to Michael had been quite enough for one lifetime, but maybe Dawson was thinking differently than she was.
“What?"
“Okay, so by that deer in the headlights look, I'm going to take it that you’re not ready to talk about marriage. Let's just forget I said that, put it in a box and move on."
She smiled. "I think my brain is just a little overloaded right now."
He stood up and pulled her up with him, bringing her into a tight hug. "We will get through this together. Maybe your mother being here is going to be some kind of blessing in disguise."
“You're so cute. And so, so naïve."
Chapter Eight
Meg sat in the uncomfortable plastic chair and waited for the meeting to start. The counselor seemed nice enough. She was probably around her mother’s age, so not overly easy for her to relate to personally, but she said she had six children and went through postpartum depression with four of them. The thought alone made Meg never want to have another child again.
Postpartum depression was no joke.
There were days when she felt like she was just about to pop her head out from under the dark swamp waters she was in, but then she’d get pulled right back down again. The doctor had adjusted her hormones last week, and at first it seemed to help a little. But, then she found herself crying in the bathtub for over an hour while Christian rocked Vivi to sleep one night.
Five other women milled into the room and found seats, no one really looking at each other yet. PPD really didn’t make women overly social. They were probably just like her, doing the best they could to just stay upright.
“Welcome to the Thursday morning PPD support meeting. I’m your host and head counselor, Tammy Akins. I’m a lifelong resident of the Charleston area, and the mother of six crazy kids, ages ranging anywhere from four to fourteen…”
“Dear God in heaven. Who has that many kids nowadays?” the woman beside her whispered. Meg couldn’t help but giggle, causing Tammy to look at her for a moment before continuing her welcome message.
“Before we get started, why don’t we go around and introduce ourselves. Tell us about your baby, your family situation and how you’re struggling…”
“God, I hate introducing myself,” the woman whispered. Meg looked at her and nodded.
“Me too.”
“Why don’t we start with you, ma’am,” Tammy said, pointing at Meg.
“Me?”
“Yes, hon, you.”
Ugh. “Well, my name is Meg. I’m twenty years old, boyfriend, three month old baby girl named Vivi.”
“And how’re you struggling, hon?”
Meg took in a deep breath and blew it out. “A lot of crying, depression, no motivation. And sometimes I don’t feel… connected… to my baby. Or my boyfriend.”
“That must be hard,” Tammy said.
“Duh,” the woman beside her whispered.
“Pardon?” Tammy said to the woman beside Meg.
“Oh, nothing,” she said, faking a smile and waving her hand. Meg really liked this chick, whoever she was.
“Have you talked to your doctor?”
“Yes. She has me on some hormone stuff, but I don’t think it’s working. Next stop is medication.”
Tammy nodded and smiled. “Well, there’s no shame in taking medication if you need it. Now, let’s move to you.” She pointed at the woman beside Meg.
The woman sighed, like she was being put out to be there in the first place. “Okay, well, I’m Darcy. Twenty-three years old. Married. Four month old baby boy named Hatcher.”
“And your struggles?”
“Well, my main struggle seems to be judgmental people who think there’s something wrong with a woman having emotions after the birth of a baby.”
“Excuse me?”
“My mother and husband basically forced me to come to this meeting because they say my personality has changed since becoming a mother. Oh, I’m sorry, but I went from being up all night dancing and having a good time with friends to being up all night wiping poop off a baby’s butt and putting cream on my cracked nipples. Pardon me for taking some time to grieve my old life and learn the ropes of my new one.”
Everyone sat in stunned silence. For the first time, Meg felt like someone just spoke exactly what she was feeling.
“You know, everyone focuses on the baby once its born, but nobody seems to really give the mother some grace and some space. We’re automatically labeled crazy or depressed, when maybe we just need some time to adjust. Maybe we aren’t meant to be the same person we were before.”
Tammy smiled. “You’ve given this a lot of thought.”
“Well, I’ve had a lot of time on my hands, what with being up all night long crying and so forth.”
Again, the room fell silent. Awkward didn’t even begin to cover it.
“Okay, then, why don’t we continue going around the room…” Tammy said, diverting her attention away from Darcy.
When the meeting was finally over an hour later, most of the women went straight to their cars. Meg walked over to the snack table and wrapped the last doughnut in a napkin, dropping it into her large tote bag before turning toward the door.
“Well, that was a total waste of time,” Darcy said from behind her.
“You think so?”
Darcy wasn’t what one would describe as a typical looking mother. She wore black, ripped jeans, a white band tee and high top white sneakers that looked like they stepped right out of the 90’s. She looked more like an angry teenager than a new mom.
“Did you get any useful information out of that whine session?”
Meg shrugged her shoulders. “I mean, it feels good to know other women know how I’m feeling. It made me feel less alone, I guess.”
“Well, all it did was make me want to remove my ears and throw them in the ocean.” She walked past Meg and toward the door, grabbing the last cupcake on the table.
“Hey?” Meg called to her.
“Yeah?”
“Do you like pound cake?”
“Wow, this place looks like Gone With The Wind threw up,” Darcy said as they walked into Hotcakes. Meg didn’t know why she�
�d chosen to bring her new acquaintance into her grandmother’s bakery, but it was too late to go back now.
“My grandmother just opened this place.”
“Oh. Sorry,” Darcy said, softly.
“It is a little bit… much… but we’re younger so maybe we just have better taste,” Meg said, with a laugh.
“Yeah.”
“There’s my darlin’ granddaughter!” SuAnn said, running out from behind the counter and hugging Meg. She normally wasn’t this touchy feely, but her grandmother would do anything for the benefit of the crowd watching her. And right now she had a whole bakery full of people who needed to believe she was a doting grandmother full of love and cuddles.
“Hey, Grandma,” Meg said. “This is my new friend, Darcy.”
SuAnn eyed her carefully, looking her up and down. Meg knew she was internally criticizing Darcy’s attire, but she hoped her grandmother would keep her mouth shut, for once.
“Nice to meet you, Darcy,” SuAnn said, shaking her hand and then wiping it on her apron like Darcy had a communicable disease or something.
“You too. Nice little place you have here.”
“Thank you. Have you been to a bakery before, dear?”
Darcy looked at Meg quizzically and then back at SuAnn. “Hasn’t everyone?”
Meg cleared her throat. “Grandma, could we get a couple of pieces of poundcake?”
SuAnn looked at Darcy for a moment longer than necessary. “Of course. Let me get that for you. Just find a table.”
Meg led Darcy over to a table, and they sat down.
“Boy, she’s something else,” Darcy said.
“Yeah, you could say that.”
“So, are you planning to go back to those meetings?”
“Aren’t you?”
Darcy sighed. “I don’t know. My mother and husband are going to drive me batty if I don’t, but it just wasn’t my jam, ya know?”
SuAnn walked to the table and set two pieces of poundcake in front of them, shooting a smile at Darcy. “Enjoy, ladies.”
“Thanks, Grandma.”
As Meg watched her grandmother walk back behind the counter, she second guessed her choice to go there. SuAnn had an uncontrollable mouth and absolutely no filter between her brain and her lips.
“So, are you from around here?” Meg asked.
“Nah. We just moved here from NYC, actually.”
“How in the world did you end up in Seagrove?”
“Long story, but basically my husband got transferred with his concrete paving company. And now, here we are, right in the heart of podunkville. No offense.”
“None taken. I’m not from here originally, either. I grew up in Atlanta.”
“And how did you end up here?”
“Parents divorced, mother moved here. I was in Paris at university. Got pregnant at nineteen, came home and kept the secret. You know, the typical story,” Meg said with a laugh.
“Wow. You’ve got a great backstory compared to mine. All I did was get married and have a kid.”
Meg took another bite of poundcake. “Well, we have one thing in common, I guess.”
“PPD?”
“Yep.”
Darcy sighed. “I guess I’m going to have to go back to the meetings.”
Meg nodded. “Probably a good idea. But, at least we found each other. I don’t have any friends in town.”
“Me either,” Darcy said, smiling slightly. “I guess I do now.”
Janine picked at her sandwich. Today hadn’t been the best. William had been gone for two weeks now, and she missed him all day, every day. Her hand had lingered over the keypad on her phone so many times as she thought about whether she should text him or not. But, her pride reeled her back in each and every time.
Her class schedule had been grueling today, with students showing up at seven in the morning and classes ending at five. She was so thankful for the business, but what was she doing it for, really?
When she’d opened the studio, her grand plans had included William, a couple of dogs and a white picket fence. Part of her had even allowed herself to hope for children, although adoption would be their only option at her age. She’d been so excited thinking about the prospect of being a mother one day, hopefully through the foster care system. Now, everything had fallen apart right in front of her face, and she didn’t know what to do to get her motivation back.
“Well, if it isn’t my oldest daughter,” SuAnn said, loudly of course, as she took the seat across from Janine. All hopes for a nice, quiet lunch were dashed.
“Hi, Mom.” She stirred her cream of chicken soup for the hundredth time, still without taking a bite.
“You’re looking a little glum today, dear. Wrinkles are a very real thing, and they come on much faster if you frown.”
Janine wanted to run out into traffic, only there wasn’t any in the small town. “Mother, please. I can only take so much today.”
“Is this about that William fellow?”
“I’m not talking about this with you.”
“So, it is about him. Well, if you want to know what I think…”
“I truly don’t.”
“I think you need to call him up, apologize for breaking up with him and get on the next plane to Texas.”
Janine stared at her. “What?”
“Dear, and forgive me for pointing out the obvious, you’re not getting any younger. As you get older, there aren’t very many good men to choose from. Letting a perfectly good one go isn’t wise.”
Janine considered throwing her bowl of soup at her own mother for a moment, but thought better of it. Who would ever come to her studio again to learn about peace and tranquility if she nutted out at the local bistro?
"Do you ever think about what you're saying?"
“I know it's not popular to think this way in this day and age, but a good man is worth his weight in gold. Don't you want to settle down? You're exhausting to keep up with, Janine."
Janine glared at her mother. "I don't even understand what you're talking about. I'm literally sitting right here in front of you, stable as can be with my own business. You're the one telling me to go running off to some other state chasing after a man."
"It just breaks my heart to see you all alone."
"I'm not alone, Mother. I'm an independent woman who has her family all around her."
"Yes, but your family won't snuggle up with you at night. And your family isn't going to grow old with you, sitting on the front porch watching your grandchildren play in the front yard. You keep this up and you're going to be one of those old women at the nursing home all by herself."
Janine couldn't believe what she was hearing, although it shouldn’t have come as any surprise given the history she had with her mother. "I need to get back to work. I have a class in fifteen minutes, and I've lost my appetite."
Janine stood up and started walking towards the studio. "I don't know why you girls get mad at me so easily!" her mother yelled to her as she walked away.
"I don't know. I guess it will remain a mystery," Janine yelled back, rolling her eyes.
Dawson sat at the edge of the dock, his fishing pole dangling in the water. This was the first break he’d had in the last couple of weeks. New guests had come and gone, all of them leaving rave reviews, which made him feel a lot better about taking the risk on opening the inn.
But, living with Julie's mother had been worse than anticipated. She stuck her nose in everybody's business, even those very same guests. She rarely stayed in her room, unless it was late at night, and even then he had caught her in the living room poking through his grandmother’s antiques once or twice.
She claimed she had insomnia and that she was bored. He wanted to invite her to go on an adventure outside of his house, but he didn't think it was a very nice thing to say.
Thankfully, she was still at work at the bakery since she couldn't keep an employee. In the two weeks that she had been open, the two teenagers she’d hired had
already quit. Apparently, she wasn't the easiest boss to work for.
“Hey, Dawson," Colleen said, walking up behind him.
"Oh, hey. What can I help you with?"
"I just wanted to stop by and drop off this guest list. Mom said you're going to be hosting the Halloween masquerade ball here. That's very exciting."
"Yeah, it's a big undertaking, but I think it will be good for business." He took the paper from Colleen’s hand.
"I think they got about twenty people to sign up,” Colleen said. Julie and Dixie had been nice enough to post a sign-up list at the bookstore so that people around town could register to come to the event. It was free, but they would also be selling raffle tickets and having a silent auction.
"That's great. Care to join me in a little fishing?"
Colleen laughed. "Not really my thing, but I don't mind sitting with you for a bit. I don't wanna interrupt if you're trying to get some peace from my grandmother."
Dawson laughed. "My lips are sealed. But you definitely are welcome to sit down."
Colleen sat down beside him, her legs dangling over the water. He enjoyed being around Julie's daughters. Although they were adults, they were always respectful and nice and welcomed him. That had been one of his concerns when he first met Julie. Would her daughters accept him or be upset that their mother wasn't with their father anymore?
Thankfully, they had accepted him with open arms. Of course, Julie's ex, Michael, had been the one to screw their marriage up anyway.
"So, how is my grandmother doing here?"
Dawson smiled. "She is… interesting."
"That's one way to put it," Colleen said, giggling. "Look, you don't have to mince words with me. I know how she is."
"I don't know how Julie and Janine grew up with her. Nothing is ever good enough. And she's got this way of pretending she's giving you a compliment but it's really a put down. It's kind of like walking through a field full of land mines."
"I am so sorry. We’re trying to figure out how to get her an apartment or something, but the bakery isn't bringing in enough money yet and she doesn't seem to have any money of her own. I don't really understand that. "