by Nicole James
No, I mean could you see a life with me? The two of us having a family of our own?
She smiled. “Yes. I love you.”
I lied.
“What?”
I’ve got two questions for you. He dropped to one knee and pulled out a velvet covered ring box, popping it open. A diamond solitaire sparkled up at her. Will you marry me?
Her hands flew to her face. “Are you serious?”
I’m on one knee, baby. Do I look serious?
She nodded, tears in her eyes.
I want to hear you say it.
“Yes!” she shouted.
He slipped the ring on her finger and stood. She jumped in his arms, holding him tight and burying her face in his neck.
He caught her to him, wrapping his arms around her.
After a few moments, he set her down and pulled her arms from around him so he could sign to her. I want to do this right. I want to ask your father for permission to marry you.
He watched the happiness slide right off her face, and her head turned toward the door, an uneasy look filling her eyes.
He grabbed her chin and turned her back. What’s wrong? Tell me.
“Max…” she trailed off, like she didn’t know what to say.
What?
“Can’t we wait? Let this be just between us for now?”
Are you going to marry me?
“Yes.”
Then he’s got to know sometime. You’re wearing my ring. He’s gonna see it.
She looked down at it, twisting it around her finger, like she hadn’t thought of that.
Max straightened, his chin coming back, and he signed with a little irritation showing, Unless you’re planning on taking it off and hiding it.
She looked up at him imploring. “No. It’s just…. You don’t understand.”
Make me understand, Malee.
“He’s the head of the family. It’s not easy. He doesn’t even know about you. This will all be a shock to him.”
He’ll get over it. I’ll be polite. I’ll talk to him.
“He won’t be happy with me.”
It doesn’t matter. I’m happy with you.
“It does matter, Max. He’s my father.”
And I’ll be your husband. You won’t be under his control any longer. You won’t have to obey everything he says.
“It’s not obedience, Max. Don’t you see? It’s respect.”
He nodded. I know you respect your father. And I’ll have the utmost respect for him, too. Don’t worry, Malee. Everything will be fine. All right?
She looked down and nodded, giving in.
He tilted her chin up with a finger. Hey. I love you. I promise, it’ll all be fine.
She nodded.
Come on. Let’s go.
“Now? Tonight?”
Yes. He paused when he saw her panicked face. Malee, it won’t do any good to wait. There won’t ever be a perfect time to drop this on him. Let’s just do it and get it over with.
She tried one last stalling tactic, gazing toward the old couch. “But, I thought we were going to have sex.”
He was on to her, though. After we get this taken care of. After they all know I’m serious about you. I’ll take you to the best hotel in town.
He took her hand, kissing the back of it, and pulled her outside toward his truck, where he tucked her in the passenger seat. He had no intention of sneaking around anymore. He was over and done with that. She had his ring on her finger, and they had their future ahead of them.
***
This time he pulled to a spot on the street in front of the restaurant. It was closed but there were lights still on. Max could see through the tinted windows at night. He tapped Malee on the knee and signed, Are they in the restaurant?
She nodded. “When they finish cleaning the kitchen and preparing for the next day, they like to sit together and drink Oliang.”
What’s that?
“Thai iced coffee. It’s my father’s favorite.”
Good. Then maybe he’s in a good mood. He unbuckled his seatbelt and climbed out of the cab. He came around the hood and opened her door, helping her down. She grabbed at his coat, and he paused, looking down at her. She was wedged between the truck and him. She glanced over his shoulder toward the entrance.
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
He grabbed her hands in his and brought them to his mouth for a kiss. They were ice cold and trembling. Malee, it’s going to be okay.
They walked to the front entrance. It was locked, so Malee knocked on the glass. She cupped her hand around her eyes to peer inside then she waved to her parents.
Her mother got up and came to let them in. Her eyes skated past her daughter to the big man with her.
Malee, are you okay? Who is this?
“I’m fine. We need to talk to the two of you.”
Her father approached. What is the meaning of this? Where have you been? His eyes swept over her coat and then Max. Malee, you were supposed to be upstairs. Who is this man?
“Papa, Mama, this is Maxwell. Max, this is my father and mother.”
He extended his hand. “How do you do, sir. Ma’am.”
Her mother bowed her head slightly, but her father was slow to take his hand. Max was glad the coat covered his tattoos. No sense making this any harder than it already was.
“Do you have a last name, Maxwell?” her father asked him.
Max signed as he spoke, so that Malee was included in the conversation. “My name is Maxwell O’Rourke, sir.”
He watched the man draw up like he’d just insulted him. So Max went ahead and told him what he already knew. “My brothers and I own Brothers Ink, just down the street.”
“Yes, I know of it.” Her father’s chin lifted in the air. “What are you doing with my daughter?”
“I met her a while ago. She delivered our lunch order one day.”
Her father signed something frantically to Malee about that, but it was so fast, he couldn’t catch what it was.
Max signed to her, What did he say?
“He is mad I took a delivery. He said I know I’m not supposed to.”
The fact that Max was signing with his daughter made the man even more upset.
“Why are you here?”
“I’ve gotten to know your daughter, sir, and—”
“Know my daughter?” he snapped. “When?”
“I’ve been seeing her. We’ve gotten to know each other, and I’ve come to care for her very much.”
This made the man livid, but he tried to hold his temper.
Malee’s mother started chattering to her husband in Thai, but the man held his hand up, and she immediately fell silent.
Max took the chance to explain. “We’re in love, and I’ve asked her to marry me. I know this must be a shock to you, and I’m sorry about that.”
“Marry her?”
Maxwell nodded. “Yes, sir. I love her, and she loves me.”
Her father lifted his chin. “She will not marry you. She will not see you again. Do you understand?”
“No, sir. I don’t. She’s a grown woman.”
“She is my daughter. This is a proper household. Malee would not go against her father’s wishes, nor would she marry a man her father does not approve of.”
“And why don’t you approve of me?”
“You are not suitable.”
“Why not?”
“There are many reasons. You are not Thai. You are too old, and most of all, you run a disreputable business that invites dishonorable men and shameful women. How can a man like you be worthy of my daughter?”
“I may not be Thai, and I’ll admit, I’m older than she is. But we run an honest business. And our clientele come in for tattoos for all sorts of honorable reasons. Because they’re grieving over losing a child, to honor a parent who has passed too soon, to celebrate their love, or just to express themselves. But none of that matters. The only reason you should be concerned with is that I
make her happy, and I promise you, sir, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make her happy. That’s the most important reason of all for you to give your blessing.”
“I know who you are. You and your brothers are all troublemakers. Bad troublemakers come around your shop. That’s no place for my daughter. No life for her. Working in your shop?” He lifted his chin. “You take advantage of her.”
“I’ve never taken advantage of her, sir. I’ve treated her with nothing but respect.”
“Malee will marry a good Thai boy! Malee would never disgrace or shame her family by marrying you. I forbid it.”
“Sir—”
Malee’s father stepped between them, pushing Malee behind him. “I will never give my blessing. Thank you for bringing my daughter home. Now, please leave, and do not come back here again.”
Max looked to Malee who had stayed silent this whole time. Her eyes were filled with tears. She tugged her father around. “Papa, please. I love him, and he loves me.”
He signed back with angry motions, Malee, I am the head of this household, and I forbid this. Do you understand? This man will give you nothing but a bad reputation. Him and his brothers, they are not good people.
Malee, come on. Let’s go. Max held out his hand, fully expecting her to take it. But she didn’t. She hesitated. He stood there, waiting, and he felt a flicker of cold dread slither up his spine. It moved through his body and wrapped its tentacles around his heart. And the longer his hand was extended in the empty air, the more and more constricted it felt. Malee, take my hand.
I forbid it, Malee. Go upstairs to your room.
Baby, all you have to do is take my hand and walk out the door with me. Everything will be all right. I promise.
Malee, if you do, I will disown you. You will be cut off from your family. Is that what you want?
A tear ran down her cheek, and she shook her head, and another band squeezed around Max’s heart.
Malee, I thought you wanted to marry me.
“I do.”
Then come with me.
“I can’t. Don’t you see?”
His hand dropped, and with it he felt his heart shatter. Yeah, I guess I do.
He backed up a step, his eyes on her sobbing face. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. They were supposed to be happy. This was supposed to be the happiest night of their lives.
His eyes swept over her one last time, and then he turned and walked out the door. He walked through the brisk night air, feeling just as cold on the inside. He yanked his door open and vaulted up into his truck, slamming the door. The truck roared to life, and he jammed it into gear. He couldn’t get out of there fast enough. His chest felt tight, like he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t know where he was going. He didn’t care. He just drove aimlessly out into the country.
His phone chimed. He pulled it out and glanced at the text.
I’m so sorry.
He threw it down in the console.
It chimed several more times.
Max?
Please, talk to me.
He ignored them all. Finally, he shut the phone off.
Chapter Twenty
Malee stared out her window down the street toward the gym, like she had for the past week. She watched for any sign of Max. He’d been avoiding going there, just like he’d been ignoring her texts.
If he didn’t show up tonight, she’d decided she would have to go to his shop. There would be no way around it. The thought of talking to him at his shop—a place that still intimidated her—was terrifying. It wouldn’t be private. There would be customers and his brothers and a million ways for him to turn her away… or worse, break her heart in front of a roomful of people. But she’d do it if she had to, if that’s what it came to.
She looked up at the sky. Sleet was falling in a thin, cold sheet. The night sky was a ghostly gray overcast, lit by the lights of Grand Junction. Her eyes dropped to Main Street. Strings of white bulbs were strung across it for the approaching holidays, but they did nothing to lift her spirits. A car drove down the street, its tires kicking up a wet spray.
She saw the light two blocks down Fourth Street when it flipped on—the one over the red door. It shone with a foggy halo around it, beckoning to her. She knew who was there, even if he’d parked in back.
If he were only there to lock up, it wouldn’t take him long. She might make it to him before he pulled out if she ran all the way.
***
He had already locked up and climbed into his truck when Malee came to a heaving stop, right in front of his headlights. With her eyes blinded by the beams, she couldn’t see him, not until he stepped around the door and into the beam of light with her. He was just a dark silhouette, his face in shadow. But she saw his hands gesture in the light.
What are you doing here?
She took a step toward him, telling herself to be brave. “I saw the light from my bedroom window. I knew it was you. I need to tell you something.”
There’s nothing left to say. We’re through. He looked off in the distance, as if he were dismissing her.
She stood there indecisively, willing him to look at her. Regret and fear boiled up inside of her. He can’t really mean that. God, what had she done?
“Max, please, I was scared. He’s my father. How can I disobey him? I wanted to go with you, but—”
Don’t! he interrupted her, his face emotionless. It’s okay. I understand. I know all that. I should have known better. Maybe he’s right. Maybe we don’t belong together. Maybe I’m not what you need. He made an impatient movement, as if to get her to go home.
But she hesitated. “Please, Max. Can’t we go back to how things were? We can still see each other. I could—”
He cut in impatiently, gesturing over her. No, Malee. I can’t go back to the way things were. If we can’t move forward, then there’s nothing for us anymore. I don’t want to sneak around anymore. If this continued, we couldn’t tell anyone or go anywhere; it would have to be secret; it would be like living a lie. And that would eat at me. I’d start to wonder if maybe you didn’t want to be seen with me, that maybe I’m really not good enough in your eyes either. Don’t you see? I can’t do that, Malee. Not even for you. I’m done.
“Max, please. There has to be a way—”
There was a way, Malee. If you had taken my hand. That’s all I needed. If you’d had the courage to walk across that room and put your hand in mine and put your faith in me… Girl, I would have walked through fire for you.
Tears rolled down her cheeks. “Max, please—”
When it was clear she wasn’t leaving, he did. He climbed in his truck and pulled out.
She stood in the empty parking spot for a long time, staring out at the dark street, remembering things—the first time he’d kissed her, how happy she’d been when he’d asked her to marry, the hurt and despair in his face when he’d walked out of her parents’ restaurant. He thought he’d been measured by her father and come up far short. But worse than that, he thought she’d let him down.
Well, hadn’t she?
Tonight he confirmed her worse fears when he told her he was done with her. His words echoed around her head until she thought she’d drop to her knees with the pain. How would she ever survive this?
She stared unseeing and thought of other things, too. The touch of his gentle hands, the tenderness of his kiss…
She buried her face in her hands, whimpering to herself like a hurt animal. She’d destroyed his love. She’d destroyed them.
Chapter Twenty-One
As the weeks went by, Max learned all over again how to live life without Malee. He forced himself not to stand at the door and watch her walk by on Tuesdays and Fridays. He didn’t leave any more notes or check for any either. He no longer left the light on at the gym.
His heart was breaking and probably hers, too, but he knew he had to be strong. The things he’d said to her were true—he couldn’t continue on how they had been.
&nbs
p; One unseasonably balmy day, just before the Thanksgiving weekend, Max was headed out to bring Ava some ice cream while Jameson finished up a tattoo. Her cravings were running his brother ragged, and Max was happy to fill in.
He pulled on his leather jacket and headed for his bike parked out on the street. Halfway across the sidewalk, he saw her.
Malee was walking hurriedly up the opposite side of the street, her hair whipping behind her in the brisk autumn wind.
He knew the exact moment she saw him, too. She stopped abruptly, looking right at him. Why don’t you look away? he wanted to demand, and he stared back at her across the hundred feet that separated them.
It killed him to do it, but he forced himself to be the one to break their eye contact. He turned to his bike and pulled the helmet from where it dangled off the handlebars. He didn’t look back, but he took his time strapping it on, hoping maybe she’d cross the street and come to him.
He pulled out his sunglasses and slid them on, then his gloves. When he could drag the moment out no longer, he flung his leg over the bike, lifted it off its kickstand, and fired it up.
Surreptitiously, as he glanced down the street before pulling away from the curb, his eyes scanned the spot she’d been standing in. She was gone. His eyes flicked up the street, but there was no sign of her. And he felt the hurt of losing her all over again.
When would the pain stop? When would he finally get over her?
He’d been kidding himself when he’d thought he could be her man. She was too sweet, too innocent for the likes of him. To prove his point, he twisted the throttle, and the thunder of his drag pipes echoed off the buildings as he roared down the street.
***
Two days later, an envelope addressed to him was delivered to the shop. He stood at the front counter, staring at it a long time before finally turning it over and opening it. He unfolded the single sheet of paper, and something wrapped in a Thai Garden napkin fell into his hand. His eyes scanned slowly over Malee’s feminine script.
Max—
I know I let you down
and I’m so sorry
But I want you to know
I’ll never stop loving you
Not until the day I die