Extreme Devotion

by Kay Manis

  I glanced down at my hand, which still hurt like a motherfucker. In the skating world, we didn’t have a string of guys to back us up. If you were injured, it didn’t matter, you played the game regardless.

  Old feelings of insecurity and self-loathing flooded my mind as I convinced myself once again why Humberto was a much better match for Hindley than me.

  “Do you really want to know?” Hindley asked, breaking my thoughts.

  “Know what?”

  “You just asked me how my meeting with Humberto went.”

  “Oh, yeah. Actually, I do.”

  She spent the next five minutes rambling football stats that, to any other guy, probably would have had his dick rock hard. But for me, it was proof that she was spending her time with another man, a talented man who could offer her a lot more than me.

  “Hey.” She nudged me in the ribs. “Come back to me.”

  I stared at her, unsure of how to stop these feelings that always seemed to well up inside.

  “If you didn’t want to know about my meeting then why did you ask?”

  She was right. “I’m sorry. I was just…” Being a dick.

  “I love you, Rory.”

  I nodded. “I know. And I’m sorry about earlier.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Upstairs.” I nodded toward the elevators. “I didn’t exactly um…” How could I politely say that I’d left her hanging sexually? It wasn’t like me to get my rocks off without taking a girl with me. Especially Hindley. But she’d felt so fuckin’ good, I couldn’t last.

  “It’s all right.” She smirked, holding up a plastic card in her hand. “I fully intend for you to make it up to me later tonight.”

  “Is that my room key?”

  “Umm hmm.” She stared me up and down and licked her lips.

  Well, fuck me. I was rock hard and ready for round two. “I may take you up there right now if you keep licking those pretty little lips like that.”

  She giggled.

  My one-eyed soldier was back on active duty, ready to do battle on the front lines.

  One corner of her mouth tipped up in a devious smile. “Promise?”

  My Drunk Girl was getting braver, and I loved it. “How the hell did you get my key?”

  “Oh, I have my ways, Mr. Gregor, don’t you worry about that.” She winked.

  Indeed, she did have ways, and I loved them all.

  Her gaze cut to the front of the lobby. “Shit.” All sense of playfulness was suddenly gone.

  I instinctively slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. “What is it?”

  She pushed me away and steeled her features.

  A sinking feeling hit me in the pit of my stomach. My gaze followed hers.

  “It’s my mother,” she said. “And Geneva. Great.”

  “What? Are you serious?” I glanced around the area but couldn’t see them.

  She pointed toward the terrace at the front of the hotel.

  Sure enough, Caroline Hagen-Barton and Geneva Barton-Whatever-the-Fuck-Her-New-Name-Was-Now were traipsing through the sliding glass doors. Caroline pushed her huge shades to her head as she searched the lobby, probably looking for Hindley.

  “What the hell are they doing here?” Hindley whispered, more to herself than me.

  “You didn’t know they were coming?”

  She shook her head. “Hell, no. They’re the last two people on earth I need here right now.”

  Something was going on, I could hear it in her voice. There was something she wasn’t telling me, and my gut said I needed to find out. Soon.

  “Hindley,” her mom exclaimed from the middle of the lobby. Caroline’s face lit up with genuine excitement when she saw her daughter.

  I wondered what it must feel like to have a mom who wanted you, who would protect you, at all costs. I knew there was more going on between Hindley and her mom than she had shared, a tension that lurked underneath. But it was evident that Caroline loved her daughter immensely, and for me, that was enough.

  Geneva’s face puckered when she saw Hindley and her mother embrace. She looked like she’d swallowed a bug. I would have gladly provided one. Slowly she turned and noticed me. She perused the length of me like she was buying a side of beef. When her gaze finally met mine, her expression morphed into that of a sexual predator. On some women the look was hot, but on Geneva it made her look desperate, and made me want to vomit. There was no denying the fact this chick wanted me.

  I’d never slept with or gone after a married woman. Even if Geneva had been single, she never would have turned my head. She was cold, callous, and manipulative. She reminded me of my mother, a self-centered bitch, and there was no bigger turn-off in the world to me.

  “Hey, Geneva,” Hindley said.

  Geneva never turned her attention away from me.

  “Geneva,” Caroline yelled.

  Geneva jumped, and snapped her gaze to Hindley’s mother. “What?”

  “Say hello to Hindley.”

  Her eyes cut to Hindley. “Hey,” she said before turning her attention back to me.

  I was pretty sure she fucking me in her mind. The thought had me nearly falling to the floor on all-fours and puking my guts up. I couldn’t think of anything more disgusting than fucking that bitch.

  I stepped toward Caroline and kissed her cheek. “It’s good to see you, Mrs. Barton.”

  “Oh, please, darling,” she patted my shoulder, “call me Caroline.”

  I was happy to see that the predatory smile she’d worn when I’d first met her at Geneva’s wedding was now replaced with one of motherly affection. Her smile grew wider and she winked like she knew a secret.

  Shit. She knew Hindley and I were involved, there was no doubt. If she did, she seemed genuinely happy about it, which surprised me.

  “What are you guys doing here?” Hindley asked with a tone of annoyance. She stared between the two nervously like she was hiding something.

  “Well,” Caroline said, “I’ve always wanted to come to Miami. They have the most wonderful shops, and a beautiful beach that my friend, Barb says is to die for.”

  “And she wanted to come check you out,” Geneva added, looking me up and down.

  “I’ve heard so many great things about your skating, Rory.” Caroline smiled brightly. “I hope you don’t mind, but I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to see the sights, watch you skate, and support my daughter.” She raised her brows and stared at Hindley, tilting her head.

  Hindley remained silent. Something was definitely going on with her.

  “I think that’s a great plan, Caroline,” I said.

  Caroline’s gaze remained on Hindley.

  “Isn’t that great, Hindley?” I bumped her arm.

  “Oh, um, yes. Great, that’s fine, Mom. It’s just that, I’m super busy this weekend. I’m taking care of several clients and I probably won’t have time to entertain you.”

  “That’s all right, darling.”

  “In fact,” Hindley looked down at her watch, “Rory and I have a team meeting in thirty minutes over at the venue.”

  We did?

  Hindley stared up at me, her eyes pleading.

  “Oh, um, yes, we do,” I said. “It was good to see you both. Maybe we could have dinner tonight or tomorrow after the competition.”

  Hindley’s eyes went wide.

  Oh, shit, I’d said the wrong thing.

  “Perhaps tomorrow,” Caroline said. “We can celebrate your win.”

  “You’re very confident.” I laughed.

  “From what I’ve heard from my daughter and others, you’re also very talented,” Caroline said.

  Caroline’s reassuring words were foreign coming from a mother figure. She sounded so confident, as if she really thought I could win just by her faith in me.

  “Thank you, Caroline. I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

  She winked. “Of course, sweetheart. I know you’ll do well. It will be a celebr
atory dinner tomorrow.”

  “I can’t do dinner tomorrow,” Hindley said.

  “Why not?” I asked, sounding more defensive than I’d meant.

  “I have a business meeting tomorrow night with a client.”

  “With who?”

  Hindley glared at me.

  Shit, I was being all caveman again. I couldn’t help it, I worried about her when she wasn’t with me, which seemed like a lot lately.

  “Well, don’t worry, darling,” Caroline said. “We’ll get together sometime this weekend.”

  Hindley grabbed my arm. “We’ve got to go, Mom.”

  “We’ll get together, Caroline, I promise,” I called over my shoulder as Hindley dragged me to the exit.

  Caroline smiled, her expression just as beautiful as her daughter’s.

  Once we made it well past the front entrance and on to the sidewalk, Hindley turned on me, her glare lethal. “What the hell was that?”

  “What was what?”

  “Promising my mom we’d get together with them,” she said through clenched teeth. “Did you forget what happened the last time we had dinner with my family?”

  “She’s different, Hin.”

  “Don’t call me Hin,” she barked.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you, Hindley?” I hissed.

  She cut her eyes around the block as if we were being followed then traipsed down the street without answering.

  I yanked her around to face me. “Why didn’t you tell me about dinner tomorrow night?”

  “It’s no big deal, Rory.”

  “It’s a big deal to me.”

  “Well, it shouldn’t be. It’s my fucking job.” She yanked her arm from my hand and walked away.

  I swallowed down my natural response to retaliate with some flippant comment. Something was wrong. I’d never seen this side of her and my heart raced with fear and dread.

  I caught up with her in a few strides but didn’t touch her. “It’s not jealousy, Hindley. When you don’t talk to me I get scared. When I don’t know what’s going on in your life I worry about you. I can’t help it, it’s who I am.”

  She stared at me as if I were a stranger and we hadn’t just been in bed together an hour ago.

  “What’s going on with you?” I asked.

  “What’s going on with me?” She laughed sarcastically. “What’s going on with you? You’ve been on edge ever since your mom called, and you’ve been taking out all your shit on me.”

  I stopped to think about what she was saying. Was it true? Had I been dumping my emotional baggage at Hindley’s doorstep? It sounded like something I’d do.

  “Look, I’m sorry, Hindley, I didn’t realize what I was doing. Is that why you haven’t called lately?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “We haven’t talked much since you left California.”

  “I’ve been busy, Rory.”

  I told myself she was just stressed, overworked, and I was only making things worse by pushing her.

  “I’m sorry,” I said.

  “For what?”

  “For taking my frustrations out on you. For being defensive. For inviting your mom to dinner when obviously, it’s the last thing you want. For getting crazy jealous back there when I found out you had a business meeting.”

  Her phone rang. Ignoring my comment, she stepped away and answered. “Hey, what’s up?” There was a short pause. “No, I’m not busy, what’s going on?”

  Not busy? Me apologizing for treating her like shit was considered “not busy”? What the hell was going on with her?

  Her face went slack and her shoulders slumped. “All right,” she sighed. “You’re sure?”

  This obviously wasn’t good news.

  “Why?” she asked. Still more silence. “I can’t make that decision, you know that.”

  Her eyes cut to mine and she bit her lip. A sickening feeling hit me hard in the gut.

  “Hold on just a second,” she said, placing her hand over the phone. “I have to take this call, it’s important. I’ll see you later, okay?” Before I could answer, she turned and walked away from me.

  I grabbed her arm. “Who’s on the phone?”

  “It’s work.”

  “The firm?”

  She didn’t answer.

  “Hindley, who is it?”

  She tried to pull away, but I held her tighter. Something was definitely wrong and I needed to know what it was. Now.

  “Rory, let go of me,” she seethed.

  We stood, glaring at each other but I held firm. I was not going to lose her. Not like this.

  She put the phone back to her ear. “I’ll call you right back, I don’t have a good signal.” She ended the call and yanked her arm out of my grasp. “What the fuck are you doing?”

  “What the fuck am I doing?” I stepped closer, my eyes boring into hers as I chuckled sarcastically under my breath. “What the fuck are you doing? Or should I say, who the fuck are you doing?”

  As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I knew they were a mistake. I hadn’t physically hit her, but my words had slapped her harder than my hand ever could. What the fuck was wrong with me?

  “I’m sorry, Hindley, I didn’t mean it.” I lunged toward her.

  She backed away, her lips pursed, eyes narrowed as she glared at me. “I don’t even know who you are right now.” Her words were laser sharp and cut straight through to my heart.

  Since my mother’s phone call, I’d felt like a completely different person and I didn’t know how to get my old self back. But I knew the only way I could was with her help.

  “Please, Hindley.” I stepped toward her but she backed up. “I’m sorry, it’s just...” I didn’t know what to say, mainly because I didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with me.

  “Look, it’s hot,” she said, “we’re both tired. Why don’t we get some rest and talk later?”

  Her suggestion sounded more than ideal. It sounded perfect. Me, wrapped around Hindley’s body, lost in in the safety only she could provide, sounded like just what the doctor ordered before my tournament.

  “Your room or mine?” I asked.

  “For what?”

  “Our nap.” I smiled.

  “I didn’t mean us together, Rory.”

  Was she serious?

  “I have a lot of work to do,” she said. “I meant that maybe we should give this a rest.” She waved her hand back and forth between us.

  Give this a rest?

  Oh, fuck. This couldn’t be happening, not now. Was she leaving me? The city began to spin around me and I couldn’t feel my limbs. I drew in a steadying breath to calm my racing heart. “Are you sure everything’s okay, Hindley?” I asked. My voice shook, I was so scared.

  “No, it’s not okay,” she said, seemingly unfazed by my emotional breakdown. “I have a shit ton of work to do, my mother and my wicked stepsister are here poking their noses in where they don’t belong. And now you’re being all…” She waved her hand in the air, circling it above her head.

  “All what?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. What had I done? Had I pushed her too far? How could I make it right?

  Her gaze darted up and down the street like she was on the lookout for someone, or something.

  My eyes followed hers, suddenly feeling paranoid. “What is it?”

  “Not here,” she said. “We can’t do this in public.”

  “Do what? We’re just talking.”

  “Are we?” She arched a single brow. “It feels more like fighting.”

  “Hindley, we don’t exist in a bubble. If we’re going to be together, we’re going to fight sometimes.”

  “Look, I don’t have time for this right now.” She wiped the sweat from her forehead. Perspiration I wasn’t altogether sure was from the heat and humidity. “I have to make some calls and pull some stuff together,” she said.

  “For Axel?”

  “Yes, for Axel,” she nearly screamed. “Goddammit, Rory,
you’re not the only fucking athlete on the face of the earth.”

  And there it was. I was getting nowhere with her. Hindley was going through something, and it was more than just me taking out my past aggressions on her.

  “I’ll let you get back to it then.” I turned and walked back toward the hotel.

  “Wait!” She grabbed my arm.

  I didn’t turn to face her but didn’t pull from her grasp. For the first time since I’d met her, she’d lashed out at me in a way I didn’t deserve. I was aware I’d done it to her a million times before, but she was tougher than me. She could take my shit. I wasn’t convinced I could take hers.

  “It’s okay, Hindley,” I said, staring down at the sidewalk. “I don’t want to stress you out. When you have time, call me and we’ll talk.” I turned, chancing a look at her, afraid of what I might see.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m just stressed, and freaked out and tired.” She stepped closer. “And missing you.”

  My heart eased and I was able to take in a breath. She wasn’t ending things with me. Thank fuck.

  “You know where my room is,” I said, “and you have the key. Come by when you’re done, okay, baby?” I wanted to reach down and take her in my arms and lay a big, fat, wet kiss on her to remind her how much I fuckin’ loved her and who she belonged to, but we were in public and I knew that was forbidden.

  I had to become something I had no experience in at all. I had to be selfless. And if that wasn’t the funniest thing I’d ever heard. I’d always been the most selfish bastard on earth.

  “Go,” I said, “make your calls, get caught up. Is there anything I can do to help you?”

  She shook her head.

  I noticed the dark circles under her eyes and the strain on her face. For the first time since she’d taken me on as a client, I was worried about her. Had she taken on too much in representing me, Axel, and the football dude? Was I putting too much pressure on her by acting like a jealous, overprotective dick? Of course I was.

  If I didn’t let her go, allow her to process this shit on her own, in her own way, I knew she’d never tell me the truth. This time, I had to leave her alone and let her come to me when she was ready.

  My one mission in life was to protect Hindley at all costs. Giving up control was foreign to me, and I wasn’t comfortable having to do it. The last time I had, my sister had overdosed.