by Kay Manis
“I’m not talking about people, Rory. I’m talking about you. You have to do something, find a way to move on.”
“From what?”
“From this.” He waved his hand up and down my body. “You’re isolated, you’re depressed, you’re distraught. You’re not eating, you’re not reading, and you certainly aren’t skating.”
He was right, I wasn’t doing any of those things. But how could I? Without Hindley in my life or in my future, everything else seemed pointless.
“Do you still want to compete at the X Games?” he asked.
I drew in a deep breath of cool mountain air and focused on the woods in front of me. Did I want to compete? Of course I did. But could I? “Yes,” I finally answered.
“Then you need to pull out of this funk and get back on the track. Soon. Figure out a way to throw all of this anger and hostility into your practice sessions.”
I tightened my fingers around the railing and glanced at Jack. “What do you mean, they’ll come here?”
“Paloma Monroe wants an exclusive.”
Paloma Monroe was a nationally syndicated television talk show host with a loyal viewing audience in the hundreds of millions. If Paloma liked something or someone, the whole world loved it too. But she was also notorious for cutthroat questions that weren’t always approved ahead of taping and had the potential to make the guest look like an A-number-one asshole.
“Who else?” I asked.
“Several of the prime-time news programs also want to interview you, but they want an exclusive as well. Luis thinks if we commit to one and it airs with high ratings, then the others will probably approach you to do additional interviews.”
“I thought it would be an exclusive interview.”
“Luis said there are ways to work around that.”
I laughed, knowing full well Luis had many tricks up his sleeve.
“It’s your call, son.”
Son.
Did I even deserve that title anymore after the way I’d disappointed Jack and Kara?
I listened to the leaves blowing in the wind, the sound like feather-light kisses. Images of Hindley’s body brushing against mine as we made love flashed through my mind. I wondered if she missed me half as much as I missed her.
“So, what do you think I should do?” I asked Jack.
“I think you should do it,” he answered with no hesitation. “You have an amazing story to tell, Rory. There are a lot of kids out there in your exact shoes. You could give them hope.”
“What if they rip me to shreds?”
“I don’t think it could be worse than what’s already out there, do you?”
He was right. At least if I did an interview, they would get the truth. “Who do you think I should go with?”
“Kara thinks Paloma would be your safest choice.”
“You’ve talked to Kara about this?”
“Yes.”
I was surprised Kara had weighed in on the subject. She’d barely said two words since I’d arrived. I knew she was furious with me for the way I’d treated Hindley. But it was so out of character for Kara to stay distant from me, and it only added to the self-hatred raging inside me.
“Kara will come around.” Jack broke through my thoughts.
“I don’t know. She hasn’t spoken to me in days. She seems pretty pissed.”
“She really cares for Hindley.”
“So do I, Jack. I love her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her.”
“Well, you have a funny way of showing it.”
I closed my eyes, letting my head fall back. How could I have fucked things up so badly? “Please, don’t remind me. I do enough of that on my own.”
“Sorry,” he said.
I lifted my head and stared at him. “Why Paloma?”
“She has a massive audience and she produces her own show.”
“Why does that matter?”
“It means nothing will get by her unless she says so,” he said. “We wouldn’t have to deal with a bunch of execs from the networks, only her.”
“But isn’t she known for being pretty vicious with her line of questioning?”
“I think she reserves that kind of stuff for the more dramatic interviews, with people who don’t want to right their wrongs. That’s not you.”
“What does Luis think?”
“He agrees. He said he could draft a document that will only allow Paloma to ask certain questions and assures us that we get to see the final copy and give our approval before it airs.”
“We have that kind of power?”
“You do.”
“What do you mean?”
“People want to hear from you, Rory.” Jack seemed unfazed by my self-doubt. “You’ve been holed up here in the middle of nowhere for almost two weeks. All the public has to go on are the fabricated, sensationalized stories dreamed up by the rag mags and smutty TV talk shows. It’s time you let everyone see the real you, the Rory who Hindley fell in love with.”
“You think I should talk about everything?”
“It’s your call.”
“Yes, you should,” a female voice said behind us.
I turned and saw Kara standing in the doorway. I wondered how long she’d been listening.
“Walk with me, Rory,” she said, never looking back as she descended the front porch steps.
Next to Hindley, Jack and Kara were my lifelines, my lighthouse in the storm. I’d follow Kara anywhere if it meant she would talk to me again.
I glanced at Jack.
He shrugged.
Well, shit. I jogged to catch up with Kara. She was walking along the path she and Jack had built through the woods years ago.
I fell in step with her, a difficult feat given how small she was. We walked in silence for several yards, and my body broke out in a cold sweat. If I lost Kara in all of this too, I didn’t think I would ever recover.
“Why did you do it?” Her voice echoed through the woods.
What was she talking about? The verbal assault on Hindley? The one-night stand with Geneva? How could I respond?
“I don’t remember any of it, Kara.”
“Please, Rory, I’m tired of that excuse.”
I grabbed her arm and pulled her around to face me. Her eyes were wide with surprise but I didn’t care, I had to make her understand. “Kara,” I said, my voice nearly breaking, “you have to believe me. I swear to God, I don’t remember any of it.”
She studied me, her eyes narrowed. “Were you drunk?”
I shook my head. “No. I swear.”
“Then what happened? How could you verbally assault and humiliate Hindley then sleep with her sister, and yet have no recollection at all?”
I shuddered from the contempt in her voice. She didn’t believe me, and to be honest, I was doubting myself. I fell against one of the large trees, fearing I might pass out. “I don’t know, Kara. I’ve tried to remember a thousand times, but I just can’t.”
“What’s your last memory?”
I closed my eyes, thinking back to that awful night when my life changed forever. “I knew Hindley was in a dinner meeting that would probably run late so I called room service to get something to eat.”
“What did you have?”
I opened my eyes and stared at her. “Why is that important?”
“Every detail of that night is important.”
“Kara, I love Hindley. There is no way even drunk or in a drug-induced high that I would ever seek out Geneva, you have to know that. I can’t stand that bitch.”
“I know that. But the fact remains that she was found in your hotel room, both of you naked, with your clothes scattered around the room.”
“We weren’t naked,” I yelled, pounding the tree.
She rolled her eyes.
I racked my brain, trying to think of every detail, no matter how minute. “I think I had chicken breast with gravy and brown rice, steamed broccoli. Oh, and vanilla pudding.”
“Did you drink anything?”
“Sonora water.” I laughed.
“Was it sealed?”
“Yes. It was in the fridge in my suite.”
“Hmm.” Her eyes narrowed and she tapped her chin.
“What?”
“I think you were drugged.”
“How?”
“There’s all sorts of ways. It could have been in your food, your water, anything.” She stared off behind me. I knew better than to interrupt her. “What happened after you ate?”
“I kicked back on the sofa and started to watch a movie. Then someone knocked on the door. I went to open it and that’s when I saw the envelope shoved under my door.”
“Who was at the door?”
“No one,” I said. “Just the note.”
“What did it say?”
“Nothing. It just had a web address written on it.”
“Did you go look at the site?”
“I didn’t have my laptop, and the computer in my room didn’t work, so I went downstairs and used the business center. The last thing I remember was pushing the button for the elevator on my way down to the lobby.”
“You don’t remember anything after that?”
I shook my head.
“You don’t remember looking at the website that first leaked your secret?”
“No.”
“You don’t remember talking to a reporter about it either?”
“No. Did I?”
“According to witnesses, you did. You shoved the reporter and stormed into the restaurant.”
I raked my hands through my hair, disgusted at the memory, or rather the images of the videos on the Internet of actions I didn’t remember.
“The next thing I remember was waking up completely nude in my bed,” I said.
“Were you alone?”
“Yes.”
“Where was Geneva?”
“I don’t know. I heard someone talking in the living room so I got up to see if it was Hindley. There was a robe next to the bed so I put it on and opened the door. I remember my head hurt so bad but I didn’t feel hungover. That’s how I know I didn’t drink.” I stood in silence, trying to replay every second. Suddenly a clear memory popped in my head.
“What is it, Rory?” Kara’s hand wrapped around my arm—the first physical contact she’d given me since I’d arrived.
“My bedroom door was locked. I remember having to unlock it to open it. That’s weird.”
“Why?”
“If it was locked, there is no way Geneva could have been inside with me.” I puzzled over that for a moment. “I remember Hindley telling me off at the elevators then going back to my room. Geneva tried to throw herself at me, but I pushed her off and told her to get the fuck out of my room.”
“What did the bed look like?”
“What?”
“Your bed. Was it all messed up?”
“Why?”
“If you and Geneva were in bed together, it would have been a mess, right?”
“I guess.” I scanned through the memories of that night but couldn’t remember anything about the bed. I’d been too traumatized by the scene with Hindley and Geneva. “Even if it wasn’t messed up and I slept alone in my bed, it doesn’t mean that Geneva and I didn’t have sex out in the living room.”
“True,” Kara sighed.
“But I know myself, Kara. I would never do that to Hindley. Ever.”
“I know, Rory.”
“You do?”
She nodded.
I felt like a massive weight had been lifted from my chest. “Oh, God, thank you, Kara, thank you so much.” I yanked her into an embrace, crushing her against my body, certain she probably couldn’t breathe. I didn’t care. I needed her to believe in me again.
Her small arms wrapped around my waist and she squeezed me tight, pressing her cheek into my chest.
“I think you should do Paloma’s show.” She released me and stepped back, her big blue eyes holding a glimmer of hope. “And I think you need to tell her your story. Your whole story.”
“Why?”
“Imagine back when you were a kid. Wouldn’t it have meant the world to you to see a successful athlete share his story and know he understood your pain? Wouldn’t that have given you hope?”
She was right. Knowing another person in the world had shared my experiences and come out on the other side, alive and strong, would have definitely given me hope. It might not have stopped my own abuse but it would have given me hope for a better future.
“Will you be there?” I asked. “For the taping?”
She smiled wide. “Of course I will be.”
“Thanks. I need you there.”
“I’m sorry, Rory.” She grasped me tight and hugged me, her shoulders shaking.
I pushed her back so I could see her face. Her cheeks were lined with tears. “Kara, what’s wrong?”
“I’m so sorry for how I’ve treated you, sweetheart. A mother should never act like that toward her child.”
What was she saying? She thought I was her child? I’d always considered Kara a mother, the mother I’d always wanted, but knowing she’d considered me her son brought tears to my own eyes.
“Of course you’re mine, Rory. I knew from the first minute I saw you in that skate park that you needed someone to believe in you. And now, when you needed me the most, I…” She buried her face in my chest and cried.
“Hey,” I said, rubbing soothing circles on her back. “It’s all right.”
“No, it’s not.” She stepped back and wiped her face. “I’ve been awful.”
“The only reason you doubted me is because you love Hindley as much as you love me. You were torn.”
She nodded.
“I know that about you, Kara.”
She slipped her arms around me again and held me tight.
I rested my chin on her head. “I won’t lie. Not having you to lean on has sucked this last week, but I get it.”
“Get what?”
“I don’t have the cleanest track record.”
She laughed.
“But I didn’t drink, Kara, I swear. And despite what it looks like, I know I didn’t sleep with Geneva, even if I can’t prove it.”
She stepped back and cupped my face. “I believe you, sweetheart. I always have. Come on.” She tugged on me. “Let’s go have some lunch and call Luis to schedule the interview. Then, I want to see your ass on that course, practicing today.”
I smiled at her bossiness.
“I want to see The Helly at the X Games.”
“No way.” I shook my head.
“Yes, way,” she said, poking my stomach.
“Owe!” I hollered.
“There’s more where that came from, mister, if you don’t get your butt in gear. I want you in tip-top form at the games. I want you to wipe the floor with that little prick.”
My laughter echoed through the forest. Kara never got emotional about competitions, but I knew the Momma Bear in her was pissed, and I was thanking God with every step that her wrath was no longer directed at me.
Chapter 32
-RORY-
“Are you nervous?” Luis asked as I sat in Jack and Kara’s kitchen.
The makeup artist was putting the finishing touches on my face. The production crew was doing the final installation of equipment on the front porch where my interview with Paloma would take place. Who knew that so much was involved in doing a sixty-minute interview?
“I’m a little nervous. But mostly, I’m relieved.” I rubbed my palms up and down my jeans in anticipation.
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?” Luis tilted his head and stared at me.
“I feel like this is my one and only chance to tell Hindley what really happened that night,” I said.
“I thought you didn’t remember anything.”
“I don’t. I’m hoping she’ll believe me when she sees me say it over and over again.”<
br />
Luis shrugged his shoulders.
“How is she?” I asked. I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help it. I missed her so much my body ached.
“About the same as you.”
“Really?” Knowing she was miserable should have made me feel bad but it didn’t. If she was hurting, it meant that maybe there was still a chance to redeem myself. I would take it.
“She quit you know.”
“The law firm?”
He nodded.
I was shocked. I’d sent her tons of emails but they’d all been returned. I’d assumed she was ignoring me. Obviously something bigger was going on. “Why did she quit?”
“They tried to force her to still work with Axel.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Wish I was.”
I shook my head. “Fucking pricks.”
“Pretty much,” he said. “Also, turns out, Michael was the one who tipped off the media about your illiteracy.”
My mouth fell open and I jerked my head to stare at him. “Are you serious?”
“Hey,” the makeup artist groaned.
“Oh, sorry.” I smiled at the woman, but inside I was fuming.
Fucking Michael.
I’d always been thankful that Luis never judged the fact that I couldn’t read. In fact, after Hindley dropped out of my life, Luis had taken over her role as my mentor, making sure I was writing and reading and learning every day.
“Why’d he do it?” I asked.
“He was worried the story about you and Hindley being involved would break soon and ruin the reputation of the firm. Basically, he threw you under the bus to save the firm.” He chuckled. “Turns out the joke was on him though. Your secret relationship came out anyway.”
“Do you think she still loves me?”
“She’ll always love you,” Luis said.
“But?”
“But, this interview may not be enough to win her back.”
As much as I didn’t want to believe Luis, I knew he was right. This interview may be too little, too late. “I have to try, Luis. I love her.”
“I know, man.” He bumped my arm.
I felt a sense of strength and friendship. Luis was here. If I couldn’t have Hindley by my side today, at least he was willing to stand with me.
“Let’s go over the questions,” he said. “I don’t think Paloma will surprise you, but I want to make sure you’ll be prepared for whatever comes.”