Anthony R. Whitaker, WTC commander, PAPD, North Tower lobby: Four days a week, I used to stand in front of Banana Republic at the World Trade Center, probably for half an hour, between 8:30 a.m. and 9:00 a.m. I greeted people every morning, four days a week, for 28 months—thousands of people. One thing that really bothers me is that I don’t know what happened to all those many faces that I used to wave at. In the Daily News, they ran spreads of photographs. One of the things that hurt me was that I recognized almost 80 percent of those people.
Thomas Von Essen, commissioner, FDNY: The emptiness from the losses that day has never left me, not for a moment.
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Similar rescue and recovery efforts continued at the Pentagon. The fire and collapse so damaged the impact zone that it took expert urban search-and-rescue teams days of extensive, painstaking work to shore up the area before interior searches could resume. The Arlington County Fire Department didn’t turn over control of the site to the FBI until September 21, and the FBI spent more than a week searching and securing the scene before returning it to the military’s control on October 2.
Thomas O’Connor, special agent, FBI: We didn’t actually get into the building for several days. Chief [James] Schwartz and the firefighters were in charge of the entire event. The firefighting going on inside the building went on for a lot longer than people realize. The urban search-and-rescue teams were the ones that were shoring up the building to a point where we could go in and then we would do recoveries.
Jean O’Connor, special agent, FBI: The first time I went in, I literally had a rope tied around my waist so I would be able to find my way back out of the building because the debris piles were so high and there was no pattern necessarily, no logical pattern.
James Schwartz, assistant chief for operations, Arlington County Fire Department: The arrangement was that you reported for duty at our training academy, and we bused you to the incident scene. Then at the end of your work period, you were taken back to the training academy. What we didn’t account for was—in a similar vein to New York—people didn’t want to go home. People would go back to the training academy, get dropped off by the bus, get in their personal vehicle, and drive back to the Pentagon. They’d get right back in and go right back to work.
Staff Sgt. Robert Walker, special agent, Office of Special Investigations, U.S. Air Force: That first week, we were there 14-, 16-hour days, long enough to go home, strip off the jeans and stuff we had, grab a couple hours’ sleep, and come back.
Thomas O’Connor: We were pretty new to our neighborhood there, maybe a year or so. It was amazing, people were bringing food over. At first we said, “We don’t really need anything.” But when you have three hours to get home, shower, wash your clothes, get to sleep, get back up, get dressed, go, then when somebody brings over a sleeve of hamburgers, it made a huge difference. Somebody took our dog for almost the whole month that we were there. Kids were coming by, walking the dog, small things like that that really made a difference.
Staff Sgt. Robert Walker: The debris and such was loaded into these long dumpsters and then taken to the North Parking Lot, which we called the Rubble Pit, the Rubble Pile. The trucks would come and they would spread out this debris. They had cadaver dogs go over them, and if there were any remains in the rubble, they would photograph it, tag it, identify it—evidence—and have it taken over to the makeshift morgue that we had set up at the Pentagon. From there, we led some teams to go through the pile. We were actually separating—was it equipment like telephones, computer systems, was it personal items, personal equipment, was it classified information, personal books? Was it airplane parts? It was very labor intensive.
Lt. Jim Daly, Arlington County Police Department: I remember going home, and my wife coming up and asking me how things were. I said, “Well, I found a femur bone and found a bunch of other personal belongings.” I remember my son coming up because I had put him to bed—he was five, and he heard the word “bones,” and he said, “Daddy, are there bones in that plane?” I said, “There were chickens, chicken bones in that plane.” He looked at me with a real quizzical look and he asked, “There were chickens on that plane?”
John F. Irby, director, Federal Facilities Division, Real Estate and Facilities Directorate, Washington Headquarters Services, Pentagon: It took a month before we got back to what we could call reasonably normal. That was more redefining normal than getting back to normal.
Philip Smith, branch chief, U.S. Army, Pentagon: For a long time in the Pentagon, the smells of the fire were there to remind you of what had occurred.
Sheila Denise Moody, accountant, Resource Services Office, Pentagon: It’s still to this day—and will forever be—a miracle to me that I’m still alive. I was in the hospital up until October 4th. I had skin grafts on my hands, but the rest of my body pretty much healed fairly well. I still have pretty severe burns, scars on my arms and on my back. But amazingly enough, my face healed pretty well.
* * *
In Pennsylvania, investigators worked tirelessly, often feeling that their efforts were overlooked by the nation.
David Zacur, special agent, FBI: For the next three weeks at that crash site, they brought in excavators. They started to dig it out.
Tony James, investigator, FAA: We found the cockpit voice recorder and the flight data recorder somewhere around 25 or 27 feet. We stopped digging, I think, at 32 feet. We never did find what the FBI was actually looking for: the cockpit. That had disintegrated.
Andrea Dammann, special agent, Evidence Response Team, FBI: We’d leave the site and watch the news at night, and you’d see all these photos from all the other sites. Our colleagues would ask, “Well, how come we’re not getting attention?” It’s like, “Because we’re not at a place they can see us all the time.” But we were the ones who are actually recovering things important to the investigation. People were a little hurt by the fact that we weren’t getting the same attention, because we didn’t have the great loss of life that you had in the World Trade Center or the Pentagon.
* * *
Even as the U.S. launched a war in Afghanistan aimed at destroying al-Qaeda, the terror group responsible for the attack, in October 2001 the victims, coworkers, and family members affected by the attack tried to bring a sense of normalcy back to their lives, though returning to “normal” often required a redefinition of “normal.”
Rosemary Dillard, Washington, D.C., base manager, American Airlines, and wife of Flight 77 passenger Eddie Dillard: Eddie loved history, and when I was offered the job here in Washington, he was so excited because of the history, the things we were going to get to see, the changing of the leaves. We moved here in February 2001. He didn’t get to see the changing of the leaves.
Harry Waizer, tax counsel, Cantor Fitzgerald, North Tower, 104th floor, was burned over 35 percent of his body: It was many weeks before they were confident that I would survive. I woke up slowly. I found out about 9/11 by asking questions. The first thing I asked was, “What happened that day?” My wife, Karen, told me that a plane flew into the World Trade Center. I asked, “Was it terrorists?” She said, “Yes.” I asked, “How many died?” and she said, “Five thousand,” which was the number they thought at the time. I then started going through names, and I think that was almost as hard for her as it was for me.
Monica O’Leary, former employee, Cantor Fitzgerald, North Tower: Dave Kravette called and I didn’t know he was alive. He said, “When are you coming back? We want you back.” I was like, “I don’t know when I can come back.” He said, “Well, as soon as you’re ready to come back, you’ve got a space here.” Oddly enough, because I was laid off in the afternoon on September 10th, and because the Human Resources Department all died, I was never taken off the payroll. I went back to work again—it’s not like they had to rehire me. I was never gone.
Stephen Larabee, Cantor Fitzgerald, L.A. office, whose son, Christopher, died in Cantor’s New York office: It was hard coming back. There are a lot
of ghosts there.
Charles Christophe, attorney, Broadway: Gretchen was, at that time, 11 months old. She didn’t speak very much. Her behavior changed, because I was the only one picking her up, taking care of her, feeding her. Usually Kirsten took care of her in the evening—bathing her, feeding her, putting her in the bath. She stopped talking. It was quiet most of the time. She had this sense that her mom was not there.
For a couple of weeks, after an exhausting search, I could not find her. I called Kirsten’s family, and we decided to have a memorial service even though we didn’t have a body. We had the memorial service at the end of September. It was September 30th. Over 400 people came—family members, friends, neighbors, Kirsten’s college friends—so many people came the church could not accommodate everyone. It was very sad. You have only a portrait and flowers. We did the memorial service, and a week or two thereafter, two policemen came to my house and told me that they found the body. I was a single father, taking care of my daughter. I missed Kirsten very much.
MONTHS
As part of a series of new air transportation security laws passed after the attacks, the U.S. government established the September 11th Victim Compensation Fund, to help families who lost loved ones in the attacks. Washington lawyer Ken Feinberg was appointed in November to oversee the process and mediate how much each victim’s family would receive. As Feinberg said later, “I underestimated the emotion of this at the beginning.” He worked for 33 months, pro bono, to distribute over $7 billion from the U.S. Treasury; the average family received $1.8 million.
Kenneth Feinberg, special master, September 11th Victim Compensation Fund: I stated over and over again publicly on television and the radio, anybody who voluntarily wants to come and see me privately, I will see them. I remember [my first meeting] like it was yesterday. A 24-year-old woman came to see me, sobbing. “Mr. Feinberg, my husband died in the World Trade Center. He was a fireman, and he left me with our two children, six and four. Now, I’ve applied to the Fund, and you have calculated that I’m going to get $2.8 million tax-free. I want it in 30 days.” I said, “Why do you need the money in 30 days?” She said, “Why 30 days? I have terminal cancer. I have 10 weeks to live. My husband was gonna survive me and take care of our two children. Now they’re gonna be orphans. I have got to get this money while I still have my faculties. I’ve gotta set up a trust. I’ve gotta find a guardian. We never anticipated this.” I ran down to the Treasury, we accelerated the processing of her claim, we got her the money, and eight weeks later she died. You think you’re ready for anything and you’re not.
Richard Grasso, chairman and CEO, New York Stock Exchange: For the balance of that year, no one rang either the opening or closing bell other than a first responder that we would get from Ground Zero—a firefighter or police officer, an EMS person, a Port Authority Police officer, visiting firemen from around the country, visiting police officers, the iron workers—all of the tradespeople who were there—were welcomed, not to ring that bell as a symbol of what was going on, but to ring that bell again, reiterating the message of America rising. It was always an extraordinary moment because whether it was an opening bell or a closing bell, whichever of the uniformed services or the trades, would first come and walk across the trading floor and they’d get a hero’s welcome.
Lt. Joseph Torrillo, director of fire education safety, FDNY: The action figure Billy Blazes became the biggest-selling toy of the year. Because of September 11th, it became a collector’s item.
Dan Potter, firefighter, Ladder 10, FDNY: We moved out of Battery Park in December of 2001, because you could hear the equipment working and the recovery process going on. It was very debilitating for Jean. She was very, very upset. It was heart-wrenching to see broken buildings. People with devastated lives. People that lived around us had perished. You see the steel down the street. It was a very hard time.
Det. David Brink, Emergency Service Unit, Truck 3, NYPD: There was one evening—it was a cold December evening, probably around 6:30 at night—and nobody had gotten down there yet. They were getting their assignments. We were standing there, and my partner for the day had to go and use the facilities. I was standing down there, and I felt like I was the only living soul in the entire Trade Center site, out of all the acreage there. There wasn’t a sound at all. All the equipment had come to a stop. There was nobody talking. It seemed like there was nobody down there except myself, but I was there with all these people’s souls. There were almost 3,000 people waiting to be found, saying, “Please, come and find me.”
Vanessa Lawrence, artist, North Tower, 91st floor: Afterwards I went through mixed feelings. I got to the point that I had to leave New York. I couldn’t actually handle it anymore. There were too many things freaking me out—sounds, smells, anything.
Pasquale Buzzelli, engineer, Port Authority, North Tower, 64th floor: I was almost in this trance—watching, hearing the news, waiting by the phone to hear if they found someone. I would lay there on the couch, eating and watching TV. I started to grow a little bit angry, thinking every day, Wow, there are people out there that basically tried to kill me and they succeeded in killing my friends.
My daughter was born on November 18th, and that was a relief at the time. It was a break. But time went on, and I started to distance myself somehow. I remember not being able to sleep at night, getting nightmares. You would fight this battle inside of you and you say: “Hey, asshole, you’re alive, you should be happy.” Then you are happy for a second and you say to yourself: “Hey, asshole, you’re happy and someone else is dead—you’re happy you’re alive, what does that say about you?” Then you don’t feel happy.
Louise Buzzelli, wife of Pasquale Buzzelli, Port Authority, North Tower, 64th floor: There was no escaping it. You’d say, “My God! He’s so lucky. Look what he survived.” But he didn’t feel like he was lucky. He felt guilty. He felt like: “I don’t want people to look at me and think: You’re so lucky, you’re the luckiest man in the world, what are you going to do now? God has a plan for you.” For years, he couldn’t figure out what that plan was. He said, “I don’t know what the plan is, but I’m going to be the best husband, father, dad, son that I can be. That’s how I’m going to live my life.”
Frank Razzano, guest, Marriott Hotel: In the weeks afterwards, I tried to find out who the fireman was who had gotten me out of the building. About nine months later, my nephew called me up and said, “Uncle Frank, I was on my way into work, reading the New York Post, and there is a story in there about a fireman who won the Liberty Medal for saving the lives of three middle-aged men. It sounds like your story.” It identified the fireman as Jeff Johnson. I wrote Jeff a letter asking, “Are you the fireman who got me out?” Three days later, his wife, Roe, called my wife, Stephanie, and gave her the telephone number at the ladder company. I called and made contact with Jeff.
The first words out of his mouth were, “I’m very sorry for that article that appeared in the Post.” I said, “What are you sorry about?” He said, “It made me sound like I was James Bond.” I said, “Jeff, you have to understand something: to me, you’re a hero. You got me out of that building. I would still be on the third-floor landing, scratching my head, figuring out what to do, how to get out.”
YEARS
The trauma, drama, and tragedy of 9/11 forever affected those it touched, altering the course of the country, launching the United States into two wars that continue to this day. The children of those who first invaded Afghanistan in October 2001 are now eligible to serve and be deployed to continue fighting the same war more than 17 years later.
The significance of the date of September 11th, 9/11, was seared into the nation’s collective memory, altering the way those affected looked at the calendar and even clocks. Even those for whom the date was meant to bear happy memories—like Susannah Herrada, whose son was born in Arlington amid the injured from the Pentagon—found themselves haunted. Choosing what and how to remember the day remains a complicated challenge,
as does charting a life forward day to day, especially for those who suffered from ongoing health challenges related to either the attacks themselves or the cleanup work after. The death toll of 9/11 has continued to steadily rise.
Rosemary Dillard, Washington, D.C., base manager, American Airlines, and wife of Flight 77 passenger Eddie Dillard: I grieved while other people became afraid. I still think that we all walk on eggshells. I don’t think that the young people who will be [reading] this will know the same freedom I knew growing up.
Susannah Herrada, resident, Arlington, Virginia, whose son was born on 9/11: The only other thing that we did for his first birthday is that we had all the neighbors over, and we said we want to celebrate the heroes of the day. We had a moment of silence during the party, and we said let’s remember everybody. Every year on his birthday we take some time.
Jeh Johnson, U.S. secretary of homeland security, 2013–17: My birthday is 9/11. I haven’t celebrated on that day since 2001. The memory from 2001 overwhelms the birthday.
Mary Matalin, aide to Vice President Dick Cheney: One of the strange things that didn’t occur to me until the first anniversary was how much I didn’t know was going on. I did not have the perspective seeing what the American public was seeing. When I watched the coverage on the first anniversary, I couldn’t stop crying. I was shocked. We weren’t watching TV. We weren’t watching people jumping out of buildings. We didn’t see all the chaos that the American people were seeing. It frightens me to the core to think what America must have been feeling watching that. We weren’t exposed to it.
James Schwartz, assistant chief for operations, Arlington County Fire Department: I actually assumed the position of president of the PTA the following year, when the one-year anniversary was about to take place. There were a lot of parents in the school that wanted to let the anniversary go by. They didn’t want to acknowledge it—“It was so horrifying, it will only traumatize the children, they don’t need to see these images or be reminded of this.” I said, “This is a learning opportunity. There is no escaping this.” We did what I thought was a very meaningful event that honored the losses, reflected on the impact to the nation, and hopefully taught the kids something about what it means to be an American and what it means to serve others.
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