by Raathi Chota
“There’s Axel and Tamia!” Keene snapped me out of my thoughts and pointed across the diner where the two college students talked by a bench. Keene and I approached them, and that’s when I noticed the little glow of Axel’s cigarette as he inhaled. The park was mostly lit up, and since it’s almost summer, there were a few people around. Kids were on swings, and whenever they swung high and met the pink and blueish sky, it’d outline their shadow.
“’Sup, Radcliff.” Axel grinned. “Missed Momma’s cooking already?”
We laughed, and I took a seat next to him while Keene leaned against a tree. Axel offered us a cigarette, and I accepted without a doubt while Keene declined. He and Lana were still on the New Year’s Resolution, and they managed to cut down to two a week. Axel, Blake, and I…we couldn’t handle it. Tamia cleared her throat, and Keene and I turned to her. She stared at Axel, and he sighed then leaned back. Keene and I shared a look at their weird behavior as I took a long drag of the cigarette.
“Levi, err…Tamia and my mother have been talking.” Axel turned to me. “They said we need to tell my brother and Lana before summer break.”
“Yeah, we agreed after they graduate.” I twirled the cigarette between my fingers from nervousness. I first wanted to be okay with her before I told her something big. I first wanted us all to be friends again.
“Your parents, Lana’s parents, my mother, and Griffon said we have to tell them as soon as possible,” Axel said.
“If you tell after graduation, it could ruin everyone’s summer. There would be tension,” Keene said.
“I jus—I need time to think,” I said then rested the cigarette at the corner of my mouth.
“Dude, you had time. In fact, the day you left, your time started,” Keene pointed out. “Just tell her and get it over with.”
“How do you think Blake will react?” Tamia asked.
“Well, knowing my brother, he’ll probably be moody at first, throw a tantrum, but since Momma knows too, she’ll eventually talk to him,” Axel said. “She’ll make him understand.”
“And Lana?” Keene asked. I took a final drag then dropped it on the floor. I ground the glowing embers with my Vans until it faded black.
“She’ll go all bitch attack on you two.” Tamia laughed. “It’s quite amusing to see her whipping your asses.”
“I-I don’t think she will this time. She’ll be grateful, and somehow Blake might be too,” Keene said as he smiled at Axel.
“Yeah, thanks, man,” I said then patted his shoulder.
“It was the right thing to do.” Axel nodded then crushed his cigarette against the bench.
“Yeah, but a stupid thing to do,” Tamia said then folded her arms.
“So when you gonna tell her?” Axel turned to me as he ignored Tamia. She didn’t seem fazed as she flipped him off.
“Tomorrow, I guess. Her parents invited me to lunch, and Uncle Griff will be there too.” I shrugged. “And Blake?”
“Well, if you’re all gonna be there, we might as well join you after lunch. Then we’ll tell them together,” Axel suggested as I smiled because I couldn’t do it alone.
“Cool.” I nodded.
“Now that’s settled, you guys wanna join us for dinner?” Keene asked as he pointed at the diner that was filling up with people.
“Sure, I could go for fries,” Tamia said as she stood up and joined Keene. Axel dropped his black cigarette to the ground then followed them. I was the last one on the bench. The thought of tomorrow after lunch frightened me; she’d finally know the real reason why things happened the way it was supposed to happen. She’d finally understand why Uncle Griff yelled at me and she’d know why we’re all grateful for Axel Gunner.
***
The atmosphere felt different at lunch. I think it’s because princess and I didn’t talk so much. The adults noticed yet tried to break the ice as they spoke to each other. I glanced up from my food to see her poke the steak. I smiled; she was never a fan of dry meat. My smile turned into a smirk as my thoughts turned dirty. She’d always have it with a bit of gravy. She loved it juicy.
“Levi.” Uncle Griff snapped me out of my thoughts, and I noticed that she looked up, too. I turned to him with a questioning look. “How’s it living with Keene?”
“It’s great. He’s a really good roommate, and my parents are glad that I’m living with someone who’s mature yet my best friend.”
“That’s good. Keene should be grateful too after what happened to Noel; the poor boy couldn’t stand being alone in that apartment,” Angie said.
“Did you take Noel’s room?” Lana asked as I nodded. There was this silence that stretched between everyone as I thought of Noel. I wasn’t close to him compared to Keene, and sometimes I became jealous because they lived together. Lana told me not to worry; Keene was fair. That’s how I knew I had to be there for him when Noel died, and I still had to when he stressed over the smallest things.
“I bet Richard and Jade are excited to be coming,” Bobby interjected. I gave a smile and nodded.
“You have plans for the summer?” Uncle Griff asked, and I noticed how Lana huffed.
“Err…no, not really. We decided to stay this summer, plus we’re having guests and a big grill on July 4th,” Angie said, and I noticed the glance she gave Lana. I sighed because I wanted to go somewhere with her. Maybe go on a road trip or Keene, Lana, and I could visit California. With the looks the Willsons exchanged, I didn’t think they’d go anywhere anytime soon. I wanted to go somewhere before she started college. Who knew what would happen after that?
After lunch, Lana and I offered to do the dishes as always. I washed up while she dried off and put them away. It usually turned into a big bubble and rag fight as we laughed. This time, however, it was silence. She barely looked at me, but I didn’t blame her because after we danced at prom, I almost kissed her. I wanted to kiss her so badly, but she stepped back and shook her head. I lost her trust a while back; why did I think showing up and dancing would fix things? I didn’t want her to think that I’d hurt her and fuck up again. When she stepped back, I apologized. I told her I’d be leaving because I only went to that stupid dance to talk to her, dance with, and see how beautiful she looked. Before I left, I gave her my black mask and told her it’d look beautiful on her. It obviously would since it was my mask. Plus, the black made her blue eyes stand out more. Carter, Keene, Miranda, Melissa, and I all had different blue eyes. Princess’s were my favorite; they was so blue yet pale and vivid. Sometimes they’re bright when she smiled yet they’re always pure when she looked at me.
“Levi.” She waved her hand in front of my face. I blinked then closed the faucet. As I dried my hands, I noticed that she stared at me. “My mom said it’s fine that I put the things away later. I’m meeting up with Benny soon,” she said. I nodded, yet I didn’t understand why she told me, but she walked upstairs. My phone vibrated on the counter, and I picked it up to see a text from Axel.
Axel: You guys done yet?
Levi: She’s going out.
Axel: Dude, it’ll only take a few minutes…or bring her over.
Levi: I’ll see.
I shoved my phone in my pocket then walked off. Uncle Griff and Bobby watched a baseball game. I walked upstairs, and as I passed Angie, I noticed she sat on her bed. I finally reached Lana’s room then lightly knocked on the door. I walked in anyway and saw her back to me as she dressed. I noticed she decided to change her shirt since she stuck to her denim shorts and Converse. As she pulled the gray shirt over her neck, I caught a glimpse of her tattoo. The sudden urge to touch her skin and press my tattoo against hers grew in me. She finally turned around, and her eyes widened as she stared at me. Neither of us spoke, and I was immediately brought back to that “almost kiss.” I looked down at her legs, but she must’ve noticed since she put one behind the other.
“We need to talk,” I said. Lana ignored me then walked around the room to get her phone and a hairbrush. She stood in front of the mirr
or and ran the brush through her long brown hair. I watched her in the mirror.
“I’m going out. Can’t it wait?”
“That’s what I thought too, but apparently, today’s the day.” I chuckled. Once she finished, she spun around and looked at me.
“Whatever it is, it can wait. Plus, you could’ve told me while we were in the kitchen,” Lana said. She opened her mouth to talk again but cut off when her phone vibrated. I awkwardly stood in front of her as she read the message. I noticed her eyebrows raised and lips parted. I quirked a brow and tried to pry onto her phone, but she turned it off. “I should get going,” she said then walked past me. I bit my lip then grabbed her wrist. She stopped, looked at our hands, then at me.
“Let me at least take you there.” I moved my hand down to meet hers. Lana looked at me then our hands; I couldn’t help but look down too. They felt so soft yet cold, and the ring that Benny got her stuck out.
“Okay,” she whispered then pulled her hand away. We walked in silence down the stairs, and while she got her cardigan, I told Uncle Griff and Bobby that we were going out. They didn’t mind since it was Saturday but still asked where. After that, Lana and I walked out of the house and got into my car. We drove in awkward silence, and I’d glance at her sometimes to see her scroll through her phone. She finally looked at me and told me the address.
“I thought you were meeting at Liam’s apartment?”
“Change of plans.” She shrugged then put the address into my phone since I hadn’t been there before. Once she finished, she put it in the phone holder. The voice through the phone spoke, and I followed the directions.
“We need to talk,” I said after a while.
“If it’s about that almost kiss, I didn’t kiss you because I have a boyfriend, Levi,” she instantly replied as if she waited for me to ask.
“So, if you weren’t dating him, you’d kiss me?” The corner of my mouth raised as I turned to her. She let out a sigh then looked out the window.
“Please don’t start this,” she said then turned to me. “I’m with someone who makes me happy, who cares and supports me. You can’t just come here and say all this, expecting me to jump into your arms because you finally came to a decision about your feelings…I don’t even know if they’re real.”
“They are real!” I exclaimed as my grip tightened on the wheel. I let out a deep breath as I locked my eyes on the road. “When I left you, I realized how much I cared about you and missed you, then seeing how you’re with Benny…something just wasn’t right. I felt lost and depressed because you weren’t with me anymore, you were out with him, doing stuff that we did…with him!”
“Please stop.” Lana shook her head. “Stop talking and jus—” She cut herself off when she took a deep breath in then out. I looked at the road again and noticed that there weren’t so many cars or buildings up ahead, so I pulled over on the side. Lana noticed then looked at me. I turned in my seat and faced her. Her blue eyes sparkled with the rays of the sun; they were beautiful to look at until I noticed a tear roll down her cheek. I stared at her and looked at myself in her bright blue eyes. Even I could tell that I had no expression on my face. I didn’t know what to do because then she’d freak out again. All I wanted to do was cuddle with her and talk about the past. When life wasn’t so complicated.
“You told me once that you’re gonna give me a happy ending and that it’s a process. I didn’t believe you because we were young and it only happened in fairy tales,” she whispered then looked out the window. All I could do was listen. “When you left without saying goodbye, that’s when the process started. All I felt was the pain, pure fucking pain, and it hurt so much that it’s impossible to lead to a happy ending.” She looked at me. “Then over the phone when you reminded me that you’d give me a happy ending, I didn’t think it’d feel like this.”
“Because we’re still in the process,” I whispered then took a risk and reached over to hold her hand. Like before, it was cold as we looked at each other. A blank look filled her face, but her eyes said it all. I pulled my hand away, started the car, and continued to drive.
We soon arrived at the destination, which was sketchy. It looked like an abandoned house in the middle of nowhere. No cars passed; there were no trees or other buildings. I spotted a vehicle across the warehouse that seemed to be dismantled and burned.
“Have you been here before?” I asked then turned to the warehouse again; the windows were shattered yet the big door seemed to be unlocked.
“Yeah,” she said then unbuckled her seatbelt. “Thanks for the ride.”
“W-Wait…should I come in with you? I don’t like this princess; it seems weird,” I said.
“Don’t worry, Levi; they said we’re meeting here. Plus, this is Ethan’s cottage,” she stated then got out of the car.
“Do you mean the one where the drugs were sto—” I cut off when she closed the door. I watched as she approached the warehouse then slowly pushed the door open. She turned back to me and gave me a reassured smile then waved. She walked in then looked over her shoulder to close the door. I slowly waved back then waited. I looked at my surroundings to find anything unusual. It was just the empty car and broken windows that gave me the chills. The door was slightly open, and as I tilted my head, I saw a spark. Maybe it was the reflection of the sun that hit something. I glanced at the road and saw Route 28. I reached over for my phone and sent a text to her.
Levi: Should I wait for you? I can stay.
She replied a few seconds later that made me sigh in relief. I started the car and put the phone in its holder again. I drove off the gravel and back onto the road, yet I couldn’t help but glance at my phone again.
Princess: You can go N0 need to $†a¥
As I drove back to the Willsons’ house, I remembered Axel said something. He didn’t send any texts after that, but my question was soon answered when I saw Ethan’s BMW in the driveway. Ethan, Miranda, Blake, and Axel were on the porch. Axel spotted me as I got out of the car. They walked down the stairs, and I gave them odd looks.
“Where’s Lana?” Blake asked.
“I just dropped her off to meet Benny and them…” I trailed off then looked at Miranda and Ethan. “What are you guys doing here?”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but we got a book to open, and when we did, Lana said she wanted to be with us when we open it.” Miranda folded her arms.
“Then why are you here?” I raised a brow then pointed at Ethan. “Shouldn’t you be by his cottage?”
“My cottage?” Ethan raised his voice. “Dude, my dad said nobody is allowed there. We can’t even get buyers anymore with the weird shit that happened.”
“Levi, what the fuck did you do?” Blake demanded.
“She told me to drop her off there and that there was a change of plans,” I answered then took out my phone to show them the text. “Look!”
Ethan snatched the phone from me then read the text. I nervously played with my fingers as they pried over his shoulder and read the messages. Blake took the phone then scrunched his nose up.
“Does she usually type like this? Using symbols and shit?” Ethan asked.
“It doesn’t matter. Ethan and I just came from Benny’s house. He and Nick were going to Liam’s apartment where they were supposed to meet,” Miranda grumbled. “Let’s go!”
So we got into our cars and drove to the cottage. Blake sat in the passenger seat while Axel was in the back. Miranda rode with Ethan, and I noticed how she talked his head off.
“Are they together or something?” I asked.
“Heck knows,” Axel replied. “Why, you into blondes now?”
“Nope, just curious because Ethan’s a cool dude, and well…he should watch out.”
“Yeah, she tried telling me off at prom,” Blake spoke up. “She thinks we’re bad for Lana but completely dodges the fact that her ex-boyfriend is now missing and was twenty years old.”
“Yeah, that dude was always so we
ird.” I shook my head. Even though I didn’t need the GPS since I followed Ethan, I still looked at the phone holder and realized it wasn’t there. From the corner of my eye, I saw Blake scrolling through my phone.
“Why do you have her name as ‘Princess’? She told us straight what her name is,” he pointed out.
“Can’t help it.” I shrugged. “I’ve been calling her that for years.”
“Do you know what she has your names as?” Axel grinned as he leaned forward and looked at us. He pointed at Blake then me. “Asshole number one and asshole number two.”
“Dude, at least we have her number.” Blake rolled his eyes.
“Oh, really, brother?” Axel raised a brow then took out his phone. As I drove, he showed Blake something on his phone. “Right there, what does it say?”
“I’m not saying it,” Blake muttered.
“You know you wanna, little bro,” Axel sang then pinched his brother’s cheeks.
“Pumpkin! It says Pumpkin!” Blake exclaimed then shooed his brother away. Axel leaned back and laughed.
Suddenly, I heard a scream and realized it was Miranda. I turned to see her yell at Ethan to stop the car as she looked forward. I followed her gaze, and I froze when I saw the cottage on fire. A once-clear blue sky shielded up in darkness due to the smoke. My hands tightened on the wheel as I lowered my gaze at the cottage. The embers emitted a bright orange glow. Wooden planks fell in, exposing flames. Even though I was in my car, my hands sweated.
“Stop the fucking car!” Blake yelled, and my foot immediately hit the brakes. Blake almost flew forward, but he didn’t care as he opened the door and ran out.
“Shit,” Axel muttered then got out of the car. I watched hopelessly as Axel ran after his brother. They ran into the cottage, and I gulped. That should be me. I should save her because I fucked up…again. I finally got out of the car and noticed Miranda down on her knees as she cried. Ethan tried to comfort her as well as call for help. When I passed her, she looked at me as if she’d rip my head off. I turned away then slowly approached the cottage. Fire. Everywhere. It cracked the wood, and once it reached a point, it flared out like a dragon. Plumes of black smoke covered the entrance, so I protected my face. I stood by the door frame and leaned my other hand against it.