“But you’ve only added to your sentence, Max,” Kathleen said, her voice rising. “Now you’re on the run. You’ve made us all accomplices. Not only that, but you’ll actually spend your life in jail.”
“I was never going to get my life back,” Max said, numb. “When I got out, the cartel would’ve come for me for ratting them out.”
“You dug your own grave, Max.” Kathleen’s shoulders hunched further. “Now you’re complaining that you don’t like the view? You’re the one who decided to sell drugs in the first place. You got involved in that whole lifestyle because you enjoyed the rush or wanted the easy way out. That’s what I’m talking about—these are the consequences of your actions! Face them, for once in your life.”
“You don’t understand,” Max said even as Kathleen’s words felt like barbs in his heart. He wanted to crawl in some dark hole and never come back out. He wanted to run away and never approach this topic of conversation again. Anything to get away from this room and his sister’s wrath.
“What don’t I understand?” Kathleen shouted. “Explain it to me.”
Max looked away from her and out the window. The sun made the outside look like an overblown wash of light. All he could see was a pale expanse of sky, and he felt as though he’d traded one cell for another. “You’ve always known what you wanted. You’re perfect, Kathy. You’re the good kid, the one who says the right things and never makes mistakes. Everyone knows that if something goes wrong, it’s on me. They look to you, saying ‘What did Max do now?’”
“I’ve made plenty of mistakes of late.” Max wrenched his gaze away from the window to see that tears had filled her dark eyes. One escaped and tracked its way down her cheek.
“Really?” Max said in disbelief. “Did you escape from prison and crash a car? Did you lead cartel members to your sister’s door? Did you get your nephew kidnapped?”
“Nothing that extreme,” Kathleen said in a poor attempt at a joke. “But you’re not the only one who had a rough experience getting to the hotel.”
Max felt uneasy. This whole conversation didn’t have enough screaming in it for his liking. Kathleen seemed too…withdrawn. Damaged, somehow. He didn’t like seeing that darkness touch his sister. “I have literal murderers hunting me down.” he said. “Even you have to admit that’s a new low for me.”
A ghost of a smirk crossed Kathleen’s lips. “Is that all?” she asked. He sometimes forgot that Kathleen knew all of his weak spots too. She knew how to get a rise out of him, and dismissing his experiences was one of his soft spots. “At least you didn’t murder anyone.”
Matthew gaped at her. Somehow, her statement had managed to steal his breath. The things he’d planned to say disappeared from his mind. The words reverberated inside his skull, and at first, he wondered if this was some sick attempt at a joke. But the way her mouth screwed up told him saying it out loud was painful, and he knew that she wasn’t joking. Quiet settled between them until Max gathered enough of a semblance of coherence to ask, “You what?”
Kathleen looked down at her clenched hands. “I asked you to be truthful, so I suppose it’s only fair if I am truthful as well. After we saw you at the prison, Allison and I were stranded in Chicago. Our car wouldn’t start. It was chaos. We were attacked by a gang who wanted to steal from us. We ran into them later, and their intentions worsened, to say the least. They threatened Allison.” Kathleen paused and licked her lips. “They hit me. They…did a lot of awful stuff. I tried to reason with them, but they wouldn’t leave us alone. I finally shot the leader with the gun I’d gotten from your safety bag.”
Max stared at her and felt a surge of rage fill him on behalf of his sister. “They hit you?” he demanded.
“I’m glad that that’s your reaction,” Kathleen said and tilted her head back to look at the ceiling. Her tears flowed freely now. “But yes. I had my reasons for shooting him. I didn’t intentionally kill him, but that’s what happened. I can’t take it back.” She swallowed hard. “It’s made it difficult to trust strangers. Jade and I haven’t had an easy time of it. But I don’t want to have to distrust my family too. Especially my brother. We have to stop fudging the truth and outright lying to each other, Max. We aren’t kids anymore competing to be Mom’s favorite. We need to be a team, but I can’t do that if you keep omitting stuff from the truth.”
She paused and looked at him fully before continuing. “If you can’t do that, then you don’t belong here. If I can’t trust you, it will be better if we go our separate ways.”
Her statement was like a bullet to the chest. The hurt exploded inside him when he realized Kathleen was willing to banish him from her life. He felt like he was a kid again, and Kathleen had taken his slice of the pie and that act had become a lifelong grudge. “You seem to trust Jade,” he snarled, trying not to show that she’d essentially gutted him. “She’s a complete stranger.” To his own ears, he sounded petulant.
Kathleen studied him for a moment. “If that’s what you’ve gotten out of this conversation, then we really are in trouble. As much as Jade and I have butted heads, she’s proven she’s trustworthy. She’s protected my children. Right now, Max, she’s acting more like a part of this family than you have. It’s not all about blood, Max. It’s about actions, too. Jade hasn’t lied to me. You have. I’ve come clean to you. Now it’s up to you to decide if you want to do the same. If there are any other secrets you’re hiding, you need to tell me now. I’ll always love you Max, but I’m a much different woman than the one who came and visited you in prison.”
Her words were like a cyclone that Max was swept up in. He felt battered and bashed with each new revelation. Kathleen was harder. That darkness hadn’t just touched her, it had seeped into her. He knew, now more than ever, that she was serious. He could stay or he could leave, but her conditions had to be met or he’d be thrown out.
Kathleen stood and walked silently out of the room, closing the door behind her. In the ensuing silence, Max felt the urge to cry, but held back his tears. It was a mistake coming here. Kathleen had changed and so had Max. Maybe they weren’t like two puzzle pieces that fit together anymore. Maybe life had roughed up their edges so that they could only bang their ill-fitting pieces together. They couldn’t get back what they once had. He didn’t see how he could stay and not have Kathleen question his every decision, looking for lies hidden under his every word, constantly searching for a reason to cast him out.
Max had always known he wasn’t a good person. His heart was always in the right place, but his decisions never reflected that. Even though Kathleen had killed someone, it sounded as though she’d been forced to and had no other choice.
Max had made a lot of bad choices in his life. The choice to get rich quick with cocaine instead of putting his nose to the grindstone and making something of himself. The choice to face Colin instead of running away. Now, another choice lay before him: get Patton back or let the poor kid take the brunt of Colin’s wrath.
Kathleen didn’t deserve any of this. Kathleen’s family didn’t deserve this.
Maybe this time, he could make the right choice after all.
26
For Max, the sun was the ticking time counter on the bomb of his life.
That bright yellow orb crept across the sky, and with each minute, Max was suspended in a sensation of awful dread. He couldn’t shake the feeling that this was his last day on earth and he was simply letting it pass him by. He fell asleep on and off, but whenever he woke, he ached with remembered pain. The bruises lining his back seemed tender now. Looking out the window, he mulled over his life and analyzed every mistake he’d ever made, every lie he’d ever told, and he realized that each time he’d put his personal desires above any collective gain. At some point, he saw his reflection looking back at him in the window, a bare hint of his profile, and he said, “You’ve done nothing but make selfish decisions and wrong choices your whole life.”
It was time for him to break the cycle.
; Matthew, David, and Jade still hadn’t returned. Max didn’t know how far away the Carpenter Country was, or if they had encountered trouble on their way, but he felt sick knowing they were doing it all for him. Matthew had pointed out that if Max gave himself up to Colin, Colin would kill him. Even though Matthew had his own son to worry about, his brother-in-law had taken Max’s life into account. That level of kindness was something Max didn’t know what to do with. He didn’t know how he could return that kindness.
The sun continued to tick across the sky.
Would Matthew come back at all? He lingered on the best-case scenario. Matthew would come back successfully, with ammunition and guns. They would attack Colin. They would get Patton back. Yet even with a sharpshooter like Jade on their side, they’d all be in incredible danger. It would be easier if Max simply gave himself up. No one else would get hurt except for him. Plus, no one knew Colin like Max.
Max knew Colin had a mean streak a mile wide. He knew Colin played dirty, and that he’d do absolutely anything for the cartel. Like a loyal rabid dog, he would do everything in his power to stay in the cartel’s good graces. If that meant kidnapping an innocent kid just to get at Max, Colin would do it. Max wouldn’t put it past Colin to be hurting Patton right this minute. The guy didn’t care about promises or deals. He only cared that he got what he wanted. And Colin wanted Max.
Kathleen didn’t need to lose her son as well as her no-good brother. Matthew and his family didn’t need to put themselves in danger just to save Max’s hide. Even Jade, who had saved his life when they’d never even met before, didn’t need to face Colin. Kathleen was right. He had made his choices, and now it was time to accept the consequences. The best way to avoid massive injury or death for everyone in the Riley family was for Max to turn himself over.
The realization settled something inside of Max. No, not the realization. His final decision.
He reached over to the side table sitting next to him and opened the drawer. Old hotel stationery and a pen sat inside. He picked up both items tentatively and somehow thought it fitting that he would be writing his goodbyes on brittle paper and a mass-marketed pen. Clicking the pen open, he began to scrawl a letter to Kathleen.
Kathleen,
You’re going to think this is dramatic, and maybe it is, but that’s the kind of guy I am. By the time you find this, I will be turning myself over to Colin. I’ll fight until my final breath to make sure Patton gets out, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to escort him back to the hotel. Tell him Uncle Max is sorry for getting him stuck in such a situation. I’m so sorry for putting you all in danger, for dragging that danger with me across the state from Chicago to Galena.
You’re right, Kathy. I do think about myself too much, and this time, I’m going to make the right choice. This is the right choice, no matter what you might think. I should’ve done so much better in my life. I should’ve never joined the cartel. I should’ve never been so stupid. But you’ve always known that. It sometimes takes me a while to realize things.
I’m so sorry to everyone, but I’m sick over what you’ve gone through for me, Kathy. You’ve always looked out for me, despite the times I’ve disappointed you. This time, I won’t let you down. I love you.
Max
With a deep sigh, he folded the letter in half and wrote Kathleen’s name on the front before propping it up against the lamp on the side table. He wasn’t a man of elaborate words, but he hoped his final explanation would help soothe any ill-will she held against him. He knew Kathleen would find the letter. She’d come back to talk to him at some point and spot it. He had to get out before she did. Otherwise she might try to stop him. She’d try to convince him to wait for Matthew, and Max knew he’d crumble beneath her insistence and then nothing would change. He’d still be the mess-up, the prison brother who always did what he wanted. Never the one who saved anyone or anything.
Not anymore. He wasn’t going to let anyone else be put in danger. It was time for Max to face his consequences.
As he rolled out of bed, he stifled a groan of pain. His body hurt so much. His muscles were as hard as rocks. The bruises covering his body were sensitive, and his ribs felt like bands of hurt as he bent to put on his socks and shoes. He let out a small cry as he slipped his jacket on. Was it just stiffness that was making everything hurt? Or was there some underlying cause?
It didn’t matter. He’d have a hundred new bruises by the time Colin had seen to him. He had to think of Patton. Of Kathleen. This was for them.
He snuck out of the room, careful to close the squeaky door gently behind him. The hotel seemed eerily quiet as he stuck to the shadows. He walked downstairs, keeping an eye out for Allison or anyone else. Escaping prison, escaping home. It was all the same at this point. It was the reason for his escape that made all the difference.
The soft murmur of voices reached his ears, and he backed up against the wall, looking around the corner to see Kathleen in close conversation with Ruth. Ruth handed Kathleen a basket of some kind. His resolution strengthened when the light caught Kathleen’s face and he saw the new lines forming around her mouth, the stress and tension still hunching her shoulders. It would be worth it to do this for her. She needed her son back, and Max would make sure that happened.
Kathleen and Ruth turned and headed toward the kitchen. Hopefully, it would keep them occupied for a while, but he had a sneaking suspicion that they might be preparing a meal for everyone. If that was the case, Max needed to hurry. Who knew how long it would be before Kathleen meandered upstairs to force him to eat, stumbled on his letter, and tried to follow him to stop him? He needed to get as much of a head start as he could.
Max slipped across the parlor and out the front door of the hotel. The sunlight hit his face, nearly blinding him. He wanted to run across the grounds, but with his injuries, he figured he might collapse before he got where he needed to go. Gritting his teeth, Max stumbled down the road, hoping that no one was looking out of the windows.
Kathleen wouldn’t be pleased when she read his note, this he knew. Kathleen would be furious at him, and he would accept her anger. Once she had her son back in her arms, though, she would forgive Max’s foolishness. She would understand why Max was doing what he was doing. She wouldn’t be happy, but she would understand. And that would be the only thing that Max could give his sister to make up for everything.
He would make this right, once and for all.
27
The conversation with Max haunted Kathleen like a ghost. She heard his voice even after she left his bedroom, explaining his lies away in that wide-eyed way of his. Kathleen was always open to accepting them, and she’d started to think of herself as a big slow fish that only saw the bait dangling in front of her instead of the hook it was on. She always ate up Max’s lies—hook, line, and sinker—but this time she couldn’t do it. Her experiences had changed her. She wanted a partnership with her brother, and she couldn’t be a sucker for him anymore.
She’d hoped her confession would make it easier for him to open up to her. That he would see the way she had changed for the better, and that she demanded he change in return. They weren’t kids anymore. They were two people stuck at the end of the world, and they needed to decide if they could be a team or not. She hoped they could. It would break her heart if Max rejected her, but at least it would be a clean break.
She looked out the window as Ruth handed her a basket full of clean washcloths. The sun was sinking faster than she liked, and there was no sign of Matthew, David, or Jade. Her heart clenched in worry, but she had to trust in her husband and the others. They had a plan to save Max and Patton. She just hoped they weren’t too late.
Tears pressed against her eyes as she thought of her son. She’d tried to compartmentalize her emotions, shoving the terror and fury about Patton’s fate into a box that she could ignore for the time being. If she opened it up, thought about how scared he must be, she thought she might become catatonic from the fear. She wouldn’t be abl
e to move, or she might do something stupid, like try to take on Colin all on her own.
She was trying to be smarter in this apocalypse. She was trying to think about the whole of the group, rather than let her own individual fears rule her emotions. Matthew had gone to get Wyatt Carpenter. When he got back, they would retrieve Patton and he would be safe. He would be safe. He had to be.
A soft touch on her shoulder jolted her out of her musings. She turned a weary smile on Ruth. “Sorry,” she said. “Lost in my own thoughts.”
“I can’t stop thinking about him either,” Ruth admitted as they walked into the kitchen. “I feel sick thinking about what Patton must be going through.”
“We’ll get him back,” Kathleen said, knowing there could be no other option. It was the mantra she repeated to keep herself sane. She couldn’t think about living in this world without her son. Nothing could happen to him, and if it did…well, Colin would pay. “I know Matthew will return soon and we will be able to get Patton back.”
Ruth put her hand on Kathleen’s arm. She licked her lips, appearing as if she wanted to say something, but it was difficult for her. “I’m so sorry, Kathleen,” she finally said. “I didn’t protect Patton like I should have. I noticed him leaving the hotel without saying anything, but then I did the same thing. I didn’t let anyone know where he was or that I was going after him. I’m still having a difficult time learning how to survive in a world like this.” She took in a deep breath. “It’s my fault Patton was kidnapped. I didn’t fight hard enough for him. I should’ve done everything in my power to save him and get him away from that dreadful man, but I wasn’t able to. For that, I can’t apologize enough.”
EMP Catastrophe | Book 2 | Erupting Danger Page 19