by L. P. Maxa
Beau clenched his jaw.
“Smith, what the fuck?” Uncle Jacks spoke up, coming to his son’s rescue. “Don’t pull Beau into your shit with Kase.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry, Beau.” My dad rested his head in his hands, like he couldn’t believe he’d said those words.
The table was silent. No one knew exactly where to go next.
My dad was harsher than his former bandmates, more emotional when it came to the things that upset him. But outwardly hurting Beau and Halen in order to get to Kase? That was something I’d never seen him do. My fight with my parents was starting to spill over to the rest of my family. And it made me feel terrible.
“Ems, breathe.” Kase kissed the side of my head, something he’d been doing more and more often. It was sweet, and it always made me feel a little less like the ground beneath me was about to swallow me whole. “And eat. Take deep breaths and eat your food, but not at the same time. I don’t want you to choke.” He rubbed my leg. “I don’t know how to do the Heimlich on a pregnant chick. I haven’t read that book yet.”
His words made me feel lighter, and made me laugh.
Which was apparently a major offense to my father.
“You having fun, Emmie? Is this all a good time to you?” My dad tossed his napkin on his plate. “I’m glad you two are enjoying yourselves. Because it’s all fun and games until that baby comes, and then what?”
“Dad. Please.” Evie leaned forward, intercepting our father’s glare with a shocked expression. “Is that really necessary?”
I put my hand to my stomach, the food I’d eaten for dinner sitting heavy and threatening to come back up.
“Yes, Evie, yes it is.” He rested his elbow on the table, pointing at Kase and me. “Those two are acting like everything is perfectly fine. But nothing is fine. Emmie’s ballet career is over. Everything she worked so hard for all these years is gone. She threw it all away for one night with Kasen.” He said Kase’s name like it was a dirty word. “He’s filling her up with all these empty promises. When we all know that he’s not going to be around, not when it counts. And then she’ll come crying to me and her mother, she’ll expect us to—”
“Will you please give it a rest? At least in front of Ems?” Kase slammed his hands on the table, causing all eyes to fly his way. “You can hate me, I don’t care. But you’re hurting your daughter. You’re stressing her out, you’re making her lose sleep, lose weight. Can’t you see that?
“I don’t want to hear another word out of you, little fucker.” My dad got to his feet, looking a lot like he did before he hit Kasen the other night.
“Stop it.”
I gasped, equal parts terrified and impressed with Cash’s tone as he stood, glaring down the table at my dad. “Stop punishing them, stop punishing all of us. You’re my uncle, and I love you, but you’ve been a raging dick since the moment you found out about this baby and I’ve had enough.”
No one spoke to my father that way. No one spoke to any of our parents that way. If we disagreed with something they said or did, we nodded and smiled until their backs were turned and then pocket veto’d that shit.
Beau got up as well, standing beside Cash. “And if Emmie needs anything, the last people she’s going to come running to are you guys. You’ve made damn sure of that.” Beau glanced at me, then back to my dad. “You get so pissed that we keep things from you, you plead with us to be honest. But look. Look what that honesty got Emmie. Emmie. The sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful person on this whole damn compound.” He reached down and helped Halen stand, and the two of them walked away from the table.
“Don’t you worry about Em, she has us, and she has Kase.” Jett and Devin got up at the same time, a perfect team, always. “It’s always been us against the world. Why would this time be any different?”
Cash took Katie by the hand, and then Talon hoisted Marley to her feet. Landry and Brody corralled their boys and they all walked away.
My sister shook her head, disappointment all over her pretty face. “I’m disappointed in you, Dad, because I know you’re better than this. I’ve seen it.” Nicky stood, pulling her chair out so she could as well. And then he held his hand out for me, helping me up. Kase put his palm on my lower back, and the four of us left our parents sitting there in the middle of Friday family dinner.
***
“You okay, Ems?” Kase and I were lying in his bed at Katie and Cash’s. The rest of my cousins were in the living room, drinking wine and trying to pretend that we hadn’t all had an epic fight with our parents. I could hear them, but joining them would take more energy than I possessed at the moment.
I sighed, snuggling down deeper into the blankets that smelled like him. “I’m fine.”
And I would be, right? I’d been in the middle of this crap with my parents since I told them about the baby. The only difference tonight brought was that everyone else had been dragged into it as well.
Kase and I were facing each other, his hand resting on my side. He was sexy, don’t get me wrong, his every touch sent tingles down my spine. But, at the same time, his hands on me were comforting. He grounded me, and he made it easier to breathe. I wasn’t sure when the playboy I’d decided to give my virginity to had become my best friend, but I was glad for it.
We’d decided on co-parents and friends, and I thought we were doing a great job.
“Don’t be that girl.” He used his hold on my hip to jiggle me. “Tell me how you’re actually doing.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Do I have to?”
“Yes.” He tapped the end of it, refusing to let me out of the truth, the way he’d been doing since I met him.
“I feel guilty for causing drama between my cousins and their parents. I feel sad that my dad is being so mean to everyone. I’m scared because you’re leaving soon and I’ve started to depend on you.” I sent him a sad smile to make my next words sting less. “And that was something I told myself I’d never do.”
I watched as his face fell and his throat worked to swallow. “You aren’t responsible for your father’s bad behavior, Ems, that’s on him. And although I’m glad that you feel like you can lean on me, you’re stronger than anyone gives you credit for, and that includes you.” He scooted a little closer, his knees touching mine. “And I’ll only be a phone call or a plane ride away.”
I nodded.
“As for your cousins? Why don’t we let them speak for themselves, huh?” Kase leaned back, calling out toward the doorway. “Hey, you giant group of spawn, get in here.” I giggled as Katie’s guest room was suddenly taken over by some of my cousins. They filled the space, sitting on the bed, resting against walls and leaning in the doorway. There was barely room for everyone, and this wasn’t even all of them.
“Ems here is feeling guilty for causing problems between you guys and the ’rents.” Kase sat up, putting his back against the headboard and pulling me to his side. “I figured you guys might want to address that yourselves.”
“Of course we would, little fucker.” Beau winked, letting me know he was kidding with that nickname. “Em, you have no reason to feel guilty. Uncle Smith was not only a dick to you and Kase, but he decided to bring up shit between Sweets and I that still hurts. He’s lashing out, and he doesn’t care who’s in his path. And that is not okay. None of what happened tonight is okay.” Halen rested her head against his chest, kissing him softly.
“It’s one thing to be shocked, to be sad or disappointed, but the way our parents are acting has moved past that into people I don’t even recognize.” My sister wrapped her arm around Nicky’s waist. “We walked away because we wanted to, because the atmosphere was toxic. That’s not on you, not one bit.”
“See, Ems?” Kase kissed the top of my head. “No guilt necessary.”
“Are you two boning?” Brody stood with his arms crossed, his eyes narrowed. “Usually I’m good at this, but I really can’t tell.”
“I know, right? I can’t either.” Jett was
tapping his finger on his chin, like he was trying to figure out a puzzle. “They’re all snuggly and close and he keeps kissing her head, which Turtle tells me is super sweet.”
“Em, how would you feel about staying here with me for a few weeks?” Katie ignored her youngest brother-in-law as she perched on the end of the bed. “Cash leaves on Tuesday for training camp, and I could really use the company.”
I glanced up at Kase to find him smiling at his sister. “Did you put her up to this?”
His eyes moved to meet mine. “You aren’t sleeping at night, Ems, and Landry says you’re losing weight again. Your house isn’t good for you right now. And Katie is going to be here all alone. It seemed like the perfect solution.”
“Because I can’t take care of myself? I’m not strong enough to survive my parents’ crap? Is that what you think?” My tone was harsh, but I didn’t have the energy at the moment to storm out of the room all indignant, so I was stuck resting against Kase’s side.
“I’m never having kids.” Crue’s eyes were wide as he slowly backed away from the bed. “I can’t handle these mood swings.”
“No one thinks you’re weak, Emmie.” Landry shook her head, stepping closer and filling the gap Crue left. “But everyone is worried about what this stress is doing to you and the baby.”
Kase rested his chin against the top of my head. “I have to work, Ems, and I would feel much better knowing that you two are here.” He put his hand back on my stomach. “At least until things blow over with your parents, okay?”
It wasn’t like I wanted to go home to be ignored by the two people who were supposed to love me. I liked being here. I liked being with Katie. I didn’t want my family to think I couldn’t handle my life, but I wasn’t stupid. Staying here would be better for me, and I could see that.
“Okay.”
“Really?” Kase sounded surprised, which made me smile.
“Really.” My gaze darted to Katie where she was standing with Cash, holding his hand. “I’ll stay here with Katie until my parents come around.”
“And they will, Emmie, they’ll come around, I know it.” My sister patted my thigh, a hopeful smile plastered on her face.
“Now, everyone out, I need to get these two to sleep.” Kase gestured to the door, indicating that my cousins needed to leave the same way they came.
“Putting her to sleep?” Jett’s eyes narrowed, his lips pursed. “Is that code for boning?”
“Get out.” Kase threw a pillow at him, but he ducked and it whacked Cash in the head.
“Careful, little fucker.” Cash closed the door behind him, but not all the way. “Just for that, I want this door open seven inches at all times.” He glared at the two of us and backed the rest of the way down the hall.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Kasen
I left Ems this morning, in the nicer, more capable hands of my sister and my brother-in-law. I’d helped her move some of her clothes into their guest room, and spent a couple days helping her get settled. I would lie next to her at night, watching TV or a movie, and then as soon as she fell asleep I’d make my way down the hall to my own room. It’s not that I didn’t trust myself sleeping next to her or anything. I simply didn’t want to blur the lines.
Things were already hard enough, and her cousins kept asking if we were fucking. I needed to keep the snuggles and forehead kisses to the daytime hours since stopping them altogether wasn’t going to happen. It was like I couldn’t help but touch her. I wanted to make her smile. I wanted to make her feel cared for. I wanted to give her enough strength and support to last her until the next time I saw her. It was hard to leave her, but not nearly as hard as it would have been if she’d been at her parents’ house.
I was flying to Italy, but I needed to make a pit stop at my family’s ranch. All the crap that went down with Emmie’s parents made me realize it was time I tell mine. If that sweet pregnant girl could handle the shit her folks dished out, then I could too.
“Hey, kiddo, we figured you’d fly out of Austin since you were up that way.” My dad smiled when I walked into the living room, always so happy to see his kids. “Aren’t you supposed to be in Italy already? That’s what the family calendar says.”
“I pushed my flight back a day.” I stopped in front of them, where they were both seated on the living room sofa. I had my first make-out session on that sofa. I was fourteen and my parents were out of town. I’d invited some friends over. Katie had been furious, sure that we were going to get caught. But I’d rounded second base with a girl two years older than me and my parents had never found out. “I wanted to talk to you guys about something before I headed out of town again.”
“What’s up?” My mom patted the couch, inviting me to come sit.
“I’ll stand, but uh, you two should definitely stay seated.” I smiled, tight lipped.
“Who did you get pregnant?”
“Mace.” My mom backhanded my dad lightly. “Just because our son wants to talk to us doesn’t mean he got a girl pregnant. Why does your mind always go to the worst possible scenario? I swear you are—”
“Emmie James.”
Both my parents were silent, their jaws hanging open in a way that would be hilarious in any other situation. I’d finally done it. I’d finally shocked them speechless. It’d taken twenty-two years, which was honestly a lot longer than I thought it would. I rocked back on my heels, clapping my hand over my fist, waiting for them to come back to life.
My mom shook her head, like she was clearing the fog my announcement had caused. “Katie’s wedding?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “We hung out that weekend and, well, slept together the night of the wedding.”
“You had a one-night stand with Emmie James and knocked her up?” My dad hung his head to his chest for a brief moment. “Jesus, Kase.” He sighed, then looked back up at me. “Do her parents know?”
“We told them last week.” I pointed to my lower jaw and the bruise that had finally faded. “Smith punched me in the face.”
My mom gasped. “He hit you?”
“He deserved it.” My dad waved away her immediate concern for her child’s well-being. “If Cash had gotten Katie pregnant when she was eighteen, I’d have done worse.” He shrugged one shoulder casually. “Hell, I still might hit him when the time comes.”
I might hit him too. I didn’t like the idea of that dude dicking down my sister.
“I saw you two together that weekend. I guess I’d hoped that you knew what you were doing. That you’d remember that Emmie was part of our extended family now, that your actions could blow back on Katie.” My mom was using that disappointed tone, her expression sad and defeated. The mom trifecta.
“No one was supposed to get hurt. I was honest, so was she. We were careful.”
“Not careful enough.” My dad stared pointedly at my crotch, like my dick was the one that had fucked up. “How is she doing with all this? Where did you two leave things? She keeping the baby? Are you together? Are—”
“Whoa, slow down.” I held my hands out, placating style. “Ems is doing okay, all things considered. She does want to keep the baby. She gave me a few weeks to figure out what I wanted to do, and I decided that I want to be in the kid’s life, that I want to be its dad.”
My mom’s eyes went wide. “Was not being its dad an option? Were you thinking of bowing out?”
“I was shocked when she told me. And I never wanted to be a father. I never wanted that life. Or at least, I’d never given it much thought, I guess.” I licked my lips, thinking about the tiny swell of Emmie’s belly. “But. It’s happening.”
“You travel so much. How are you supposed to be there for this baby?” My dad threw that wrenched-up question out there, triggering automatic annoyance because it reminded me of Smith James.
“I’ll figure it out.”
“Kids need consistency, Kase. There was a reason I didn’t go on the road for years.” He dipped his chin in my direction.
My mom volleyed back, “What about Emmie?”
“What about her?”
This back-and-forth must be like watching a ping-pong match for my parents. “Are you two together?”
“No. We’re friends, we’ll co-parent. That’s it.”
“And what happens when she meets someone?” She crossed her arms over her chest. “When you do?”
“We both know it’ll be her meeting someone to settle down with and not the other way around.” I grinned. “I’ll be happy for her. She deserves a good guy.”
“A good guy who will be around all the time, when you won’t be.” She raised an eyebrow, refusing to back down. That was my mother, kind but deadly. “A good guy who’ll be helping raise your child.”
“Well, it takes a village, right?”
She shook her head. “I think you’re being entirely too blasé about this.”
“And I think you’re heaping on unnecessary stress where it’s not currently needed.”
“Kase.” My dad finally spoke up. “We want to make sure you’ve thought this through, from all angles.”
“I have. And now I have a flight to catch.” I leaned down, hugging and kissing them both good-bye before walking out of the house as quickly as possible.
Once I was safely in my car and on the road, I let out a big deep breath. Well, we’d all survived and no one had gotten punched in the face.
I’d take that as a motherfucking win.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Emmie
I re-read our last text conversation again, making sure I hadn’t missed something.
Kasen: Nineteen weeks.
Emmie: At my twenty-week appointment they’ll be able to tell if it’s a boy or a girl.
Kasen: Isn’t there some kind of test you can do to find out sooner?
Emmie: Yeah. But things were so chaotic then. I wasn’t ready to know anything past the fact that it was in there, and I was keeping it.