by Feng Yue
There was nothing.
In the blink of an eye, something extremely solemn and large brushed past him. It seemed to be a strategic response by the gods. But when he inadvertently turned around, he seemed to see the bottom of the abyss underfoot. There was a burning hell and it was wailing.
He understood instantly: perhaps this was the “aether world” that had been described in countless books. It was the true appearance of all organisms, as observed by the aether.
Under the illumination of the blue moon, the city was shrouded in fog. Its fierce, sharp, large, and dark silhouette was revealed. The church and palace stuck through like piles of bones. Blood flowed into paths and rivers; countless vague shadows wandered through the city of the dead, unable to be freed.
This was Avalon’s Shadow…
Instantly, Ye Qingxuan felt his body going slack. It was flying toward him…No, he was falling into it—it was pulling him!
He struggled fiercely but to no avail. As he fell rapidly, he felt the strength of Avalon’s Shadow pulling at his mind, almost ripping him into pieces. For a moment, he could feel two of himself, three, four…This was the precursor to schizophrenia.
Urgent danger filled his brain, but for some reason, a line of strange words flashed past his mind in that instant. They were the wedge-shaped words on the stone.
Those strange words overlapped and formed an unfamiliar interval in his mind. It lengthened and swelled endlessly, turning from a few words to a novel with tens of thousands of words.
The immense amount of information practically filled his consciousness to the brim. Then, the terrifying music score with a compact yet large structure quickly began closing up and collapsing.
Ye Qingxuan could not comprehend any of the music theory within it—he had never heard of it before and could not even distinguish a general direction. It expanded to its extreme in an instant; it collapsed to something miniscule in an instant.
Ye Qingxuan could no longer observe that tiny dot. Even his consciousness was pulled and dragged into the dot that was so small it did not exist anymore. Just before he passed out, he heard the earth-shaking majestic chanting in his ear, “As if you are above, as if you are below, as if all is beginning!”
-
“Ah!” Ye Qingxuan shrieked and jumped up from his table. The entire classroom was silent.
All the students who were reading their books in the morning class looked over. Even the drowsy teacher at the podium had a scare. Ye Qingxuan looked around in confusion, not sure where he was. His memories in his mind were disappearing as if it was a dream.
He gaped at those eyes without knowing what to do.
“Ye Qingxuan, how many do I have to tell you to not sleep during morning class!” The balding teacher at the podium furrowed his brows. “Go read at the back of the room!”
Ye Qingxuan finally realized that he had fallen asleep during class and had had a weird dream. He awkwardly looked down, picked up his English textbook and obediently went to stand at the back of the classroom. Maybe it was because he had a good attitude and was usually a good student, so the teacher did not give him a hard time; he was able to sit down when the bell rang.
His desk mate Wang Qiang came over with a gleeful smile. “Yezi, I’ve seen a lot of people who sleep during class, but never someone who talks in his sleep and makes such a big commotion.”
“You didn’t even wake me up!” Ye Qingxuan rubbed his eyes and yawned. “I stayed up the whole night playing GTB5 and accidentally fell asleep.”
“It’s the second mock exam today and you’re still playing? Wow.” His desk mate glanced at the “eighty-eight more days until the college entrance exam” on the blackboard and asked, “Do you still have lead? Give me some, I ran out.”
“It’s in my pencil bag. Go get it yourself.” Ye Qingxuan was spacing out.
“Hey, what’s wrong? Fever?”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I just feel like I forgot something.”
“No!” Wang Qiang panicked. “I need you for English during the exam! If you do badly, what am I gonna do?”
“It’s not a big deal.” Ye Qingxuan rolled his eyes. “When has my grade ever been bad? Just turn your phone on and it’s okay.”
Wang Qiang shook his head. “I heard that you can’t do it this year. Apparently the school blocked all signal for this mock exam. Your phone won’t have any signal.”
“So, you can’t use your phone without signal?” Ye Qingxuan side-eyed him. “Turn on your bluetooth and then just change the phone name into the answer. Don’t tell me your phone doesn’t even have bluetooth.”
“…” Wang Qiang’s expression suddenly changed dramatically. He gaped for a long time before finally uttering, “Why didn’t I f*cking think of that?!”
“Because you’re stupid.”
…
“This mock exam will be given by Professor Xia of our school. It will be strict to realistically simulate the college entrance exam. I hope all students will answer seriously and not cheat,” the teacher said gravely. “Understood?”
“Understood,” came the scattered responses under the podium.
Soon, the test was handed out to everyone. Ye Qingxuan accepted it and put it down. He yawned involuntarily and looked outside restlessly. He looked as if he was deep in thought but he knew that his mind was blank. He was not thinking of anything.
He was just spacing out.
Something felt wrong.
“Focus on the test,” the supervising teacher minded, knocking on his table.
Ye Qingxuan flinched. He nodded dazedly as if he had just woken up. When he looked down at the test paper, he went slack.
This was not language, not mathematics, not English, not geography…What the h*ll was this?
231 The Moon in the Mirror, the Man in the Dream
Maxwell had suddenly appeared in the silver light of the Cave of Sleep beside the sublimation ritual. He glanced at Hermes and asked quietly, “It started, right?”
Hermes nodded. The wings of light on his back floated soundlessly. They illuminated Maxwell’s eyes, making him laugh. “I haven’t seen you like this in a long time, Lord Merlin.”
Hermes glanced at him. “Call me Hermes. You all gave me the title Merlin but I’ve never accepted it.”
“You’ve lost a bit of your humanity after revealing your true nature. I still like your slovenly style. At least then it feels like we’re the same.”
“Don’t come here trying to feel likeness, Maxwell. No one’s the same kind as you,” Hermes said disdainfully. “No one.”
Maxwell chuckled. “That’s why we’re the same, right?”
“Ha.” Hermes chuckled too.
Maxwell did not find it offensive. He just squatted and studied the steaming mercury. Understanding filled his eyes. “You chose the classicist sublimation ritual. The danger level increased a lot.”
“This is the true nature of the ritual. Only this way will its power be the strongest.” Hermes snickered. “The thing that you all like and find important—increasing the musician’s sensing of aether—is only its side effect. You’ve been changing it over and over all these years and have forgotten how it originally was.”
“As expected of the fallen serpent, the most ancient alchemist,” Maxwell said. “I’d like to hear the details.”
“The original purpose of the sublimation ritual was to increase human sensing of aether and give humans the right to manipulate aether. Humans refer to this as ‘Deva sensing.’ It’s the sensing between humans and the heavens. You can see the heavens and it can see you. But you’ve mistaken something before this all,” Hermes stated. “The purpose of the sublimation ritual is not Deva sensing, but the preparation for it.”
“What preparation?”
“The Originator never needs preparation, but you do,” Hermes said. “You must understand your true nature and true self. If you don’t even know where you are and what you are, how can you sense the Originator
? So that’s why you all are like this—like walking blindly at night, using the fleeting luck and experience to grope in the darkness, or practicing and trying endlessly, day after night. It can work but it has gone astray. The true path will never be so difficult and annoying.”
“The true path?” Maxwell pondered for a long while before chuckling wryly. “Perhaps, to humans, finding their true selves is the hardest thing. After all, they’re the best at overestimating their abilities.”
“That’s why it’s the ‘sublimation ritual,’ is it not?” Hermes studied the youth and looked at his painful expression. “The burning incense, pulverized gemstones, flowing mercury…the aether will enter his body, letting him see himself and his true spirit.”
-
It seemed as if everything had thinned in an instant and quickly became distant. Ye Qingxuan had forgotten what date it was, where he was, and what situation he was in. He just looked down in shock and stared at the test.
Only the test and his pencil remained in this world.
“You can begin now.” It felt as if something put that pencil into his hand and curled his fingers, one by one, until he gripped it tightly. “You only have one chance. Don’t waste it.”
But for some reason, he felt scared. The first problem on the test entered his eyes.
Problem:
“Xiao Ming had a happy family with a dad and mom who loved him. Xiao Ming’s dad committed a crime and went missing when Xiao Ming was very young. Because of him, Xiao Ming and his mom were exiled. One winter, Xiao Ming’s mom died and Xiao Ming was alone.
Please describe Xiao Ming’s feelings.”
“Xiao Ming?” Ye Qingxuan muttered.
Xiao Ming, why the f*ck was it Xiao Ming again? It’s been Xiao Ming since childhood!
Xiao Ming at the grocery store, Xiao Ming riding a bus, Xiao Ming going out with friends…and then something happened. One had to figure out how much half a pound of cabbage cost, how much longer it would take before the next stop, how four people could slice a cake with three knives…He knew that this was Xiao Ming’s story, so he could relax. It was just Xiao Ming’s story.
Something had happened to him, so you must help him, just as you would help yourself. He was just unlucky. Bad things would happen to him no matter what he did, but he did not know how to do anything. If no one helped him, he would not even be able to buy fruit. If you did not help him, he would not be able to live. But how could Ye Qingxuan know how Xiao Ming would feel in this situation?
“Xiao Ming” Ye Qingxuan wrote down these two words and then stopped. After hesitating for a long time, he wrote in the space, “Xiao Ming is very sad.”
The next question: “What should Xiao Ming do?”
Ye Qingxuan hesitated some more and wrote, “Xiao Ming doesn’t know either.”
The third problem: “Xiao Ming is riding a carriage and sees a child playing on the street. The child is about to be run over. Xiao Ming can choose to change the direction and kill an innocent old couple. What should Xiao Ming do?”
Ye Qingxuan thought a little and answered, “Run over the kid.”
“Why?”
Without hesitating, Ye Qingxuan wrote down, “Because Xiao Ming hates kids.”
The fourth problem: “There are two boats. The left one has fifty people on it; the right one has one-hundred. If one boat is going to explode and sink, which one should Xiao Ming choose?”
Left side.
“If the boat on the left has fifty people, but his mom is the only one on the right boat, which one should Xiao Ming choose?”
Without thinking, Ye Qingxuan wrote, “Left side.”
“If the left boat has ten-thousand people…”
Again, without thinking: “Left side.”
“If it has one-hundred thousand people…”
Still left.
“If it has one-million people…”
“Enough! How can a boat fit one-million people? And even if it’s one-billion, one-bajillion, or one-gazillion, it would still be the left side! As long as he can live, Xiao Ming will bomb the left side without hesitation, even if everyone on the world is on it!”
The test paper was silent.
After a long time, a new line of text appeared: “if a man from the mafia with many connections told Xiao Ming that he could resurrect his mom if Xiao Ming became his follower, what would Xiao Ming do?”
Ye Qingxuan emotionlessly answered, “Xiao Ming will tell him to go eat sh*t.”
“If Xiao Ming’s father has already joined the mafia, Xiao Ming will…”
“Xiao Ming will tell him to go eat sh*t.”
“If Xiao Ming’s father is actually a spy…”
“Xiao Ming will still tell him to go eat sh*t.”
If there was a new virus…if a meteorite fell from the sky…if there was a giant ball of light…if there was an old grandpa in the jade pendant…How the f*ck were there so many ‘if’s’?!
Why did they not ask how great life would be if none of this happened? How happy life would be if she did not pass away, if the father did not abandon them? Even if they had nothing, even if they were forced to wander the world, it would be better than being abandoned by the whole world.
Finally, Ye Qingxuan flipped through the entire exam. There was only one problem left, which made him sink into a long silence.
“Do you think Xiao Ming’s dad abandoned him and his mom on purpose, or was there an unspeakable hardship?”
On purpose or unspeakable hardship? Xiao Ming did not know; Ye Qingxuan did not know either.
His pencil paused. Time crept by, the clock on the wall ticked by, and everyone handed in their test, leaving Ye Qingxuan alone in the testing room. In the last few seconds, he wrote down his answer and handed it to the teacher.
Xiao Ming’s story ended now.
The light was snuffed and the classroom fell into darkness and silence. He sat in his seat, leaning against the desk behind him and closed his eyes in the darkness. He let out a long sigh, as if wanting to exhale all the pain and annoyance in his guts.
A sudden exhaustion overtook him. He lowered his head and fell asleep.
The night was long.
-
A lantern lit up slowly in the deepest of the darkness. The examiner made a cup of hot tea, looked at the only test he needed to grade, and sat down onto his chair. The middle aged teacher pushed open the window, letting the moonlight outside illuminate his body and white hair.
Behind him, someone knocked on the door.
“Excuse me, is Mr. Ye here?” someone asked quietly. Before he could reply, the door was pushed open. The lantern’s light illuminated the newcomer’s robe, gold hair, and seemingly youthful face. He studied the mid-aged man with troubled eyes. After a long time, he sighed. “It’s so hard to see you, Ye Lanzhou.”
The man sitting before the window shook his head slightly. “Mr. Hermes, you’ve found the wrong man. I’m not Ye Lanzhou.”
“Moon in the Mirror,” Hermes uttered the true name aloud without any emotion. “I know that you’ve hidden a portion of your own memory in Ye Qingxuan’s mind, and the you right now is just a humanized reflection of those memories. Even though you’re not Ye Lanzhou, it’s okay.”
Ye Lanzhou shrugged, as if acknowledging his words.
The moon in the mirror, the flower in the water, an illusion in the fire, a hallucination. Ye Lanzhou did not exist here, right now; he was just a mechanic reflection in response to previously arranged commands.
“You really thought far ahead.” Hermes pulled a chair over without caring about manners and glared at him. “First the seed for Jiu Xiao Huan Pei, then all the markers on the road…you really put in a lot of effort so your son can inherit your legacy.”
“Yezi isn’t me. He has his own ideas and choices.” Ye Lanzhou shook his head. “I’ve never thought to let him inherit the possessions and curse of the Ye family. He would create his own path, so I never taught him any of the power and music scores passe
d down through the generations.”
“But what about you?” Hermes asked back. “Did you think that you could escape the consequences of what you did? You don’t need me to repeat what you’ve down before, right?”
Ye Lanzhou replied lightly, “It doesn’t matter if it’s paying for what I’ve done or letting fate decide. Whether I’m alive or dead, or whatever state I’m in, it’s all my own choice. It has nothing to do with anyone else.”
“I didn’t go through all that to come here and talk about fate with you. I have a question to ask you, Ye Lanzhou. One question.” Hermes stuck up a finger and looked at him coldly. His voice was like the explosive sound the iron in a hammer made when transforming into gold. “What exactly did you bring back from Avalon’s Shadow?”
Ye Lanzhou did not reply; he just shook his head. “Hermes, that has nothing to do with you.”
“Of course it does!” Hermes rose and walked three steps forward. Within three steps, he transformed from a frail noble to a god with wings and immense majesty. Everything in the world was willing to resonate with his voice and this dreamscape trembled endlessly.
“Ye Lanzhou, tell me, did you take…the holy operation carved into the Sword in the Stone?”
Ye Lanzhou smiled. He stared at those majestic eyes and said quietly, “You should leave.”
“Wait…” Hermes’s expression changed dramatically, but Ye Lanzhou waved and his figure dissipated. Hermes had been forced away. In the silence, the room resumed its stillness.
Ye Lanzhou picked up a pair of glasses and uncapped a red pen, starting to grade the test paper. When he saw the last problem, he could not help but smile bitterly.
“Do you think Xiao Ming’s dad abandoned him and his mom on purpose, or was there an unspeakable hardship?”
At the bottom, the youth had used resolute handwriting for his answer, “No matter what the reason, the result can never be changed.”
Indeed, even if there was a hardship, what could it change? The consequence had already happened and the woman most important to them had died because of it.