“You hurt her. This isn’t about choosing between us. It’s between her feeling safe.”
“Feeling safe?” His eyes widened. “With someone like you? You’re a stranger.”
“As are you… at least that’s how she feels. She thinks everything you ever told her was a lie. And it probably was.” I hated him for what he did to her. If you loved someone, how could you keep her from her family? From her home?
“Not true.” He shook his head.
“And all of her feelings were modified, or whatever the heck you guys call it. That’s quite a lot to handle.” I couldn’t imagine it. I didn’t even like people trying to analyze me, let alone actually influencing what I felt.
“But the modifiers didn’t create the love.” Something in his tone made it sound like he was trying to convince himself.
“I don’t really know all the details, but I know Rachel wants to stay away from you. She also wants to spend time with me, so for now that’s what we’re going to go with.”
“And you are calm? You can say the words ‘for now’ in regards to Rachel?” He grabbed hold of the bars. “That’s how I know you don’t truly love her.”
Okay. Now he was getting to me. “We’ve only known each other a few days. I care about her a lot. I feel strongly, but that doesn’t give me the right to try to dictate her future.” I wasn’t going to be that guy. She’d been with one of them already. Things would happen at their own pace. That’s not to say I didn’t want them to go in a particular direction. She was unlike anyone I’d ever met before, and I was counting down to when we’d actually have a chance to be alone again. Maybe it had only been a few hours, but it felt longer to me. And it wasn’t just about the physical—even though my mind went there a lot.
“And you’re implying that’s what I’m doing?”
“What you did. Listen, like I said. I don’t really want to talk about any of this. This is for you and Rachel to discuss.”
“But Rachel won’t talk to me.” He let go of the bars and stepped back.
“That’s her choice. I’m not making decisions for her.”
“You have no understanding of the situation.”
“Did I say I did? I can only go off what I’ve been told and how Rachel’s reacting to you. You upset her. End of story.”
“You are far more honest than most.”
“I don’t see a reason to lie. Life’s too short to make up excuses and pretend. I’m here because Rachel wanted me to come and because there is no way I’m letting your dad destroy my home.”
“We have that in common. If I were freed I could help.”
“Rachel implied you aren’t really bound. You could break out if you wanted.”
“But that wouldn’t be honorable.” He walked back toward the bars.
“Honorable? As if that word really defines you.”
“I need to prove myself honorable to earn back her trust. Breaking out won’t help my cause. You think I’m a brute, but I’m not. I don’t want her with me out of force. I want her to want to be with me by choice.”
Good luck with that one. I only thought it, saying it out loud wasn’t a good idea. I had a vested interest in making sure that didn’t happen, but I didn’t think I’d need to get involved. Rachel was pretty certain of what she wanted. Strangely enough, that was me. “Why did you do it?” Despite not wanting to talk, I did have questions.
“Do what?”
“Keep the truth from her? Was it because you didn’t want to lose her?” It was beyond unacceptable to me, but I got that people did really stupid things when they thought they were in love.
“You don’t understand my need for her. And I truly did not know at first.”
“At first?” If I could get some answers for Rachel, this conversation would be well worth it.
“By the time I did know it was too late.”
“And this too late part is the big secret no one will tell Rachel? Is it her brother? Is he dead?” I didn’t want to know, yet I did. I didn’t want her spending her life searching for someone impossible to find. As painful as it was, it would be easier to face now.
“I do not know his fate for sure.”
“Telton told her he could bring Rachel to him.”
“Then it is possible he knows.”
“Then what can’t Rachel know?” I ran through every possibility I could conceive of.
“If I tell you, you will tell her. Telton must have his reasons for not telling her yet. So I won’t tell you. I need to win over his trust as well as Rachel’s.”
“And you realize that holding back the truth from Rachel is just going to make things worse between you guys.” Maybe I shouldn’t have given him that tip, but I didn’t want Rachel hurting.
“Why is she attached to you?”
“Why are you changing the subject?” I hated when people did that. It’s like they thought they were the only ones with the right to dictate the direction of the conversation.
“We are still discussing Rachel. It’s the subject we both wish to discuss.”
“To answer your question, she’s not attached. She likes to be around me.” I wasn’t going to let him get into my head. There was nothing wrong with what was between us.
“She is very independent. I’ve seen that more and more recently. I now know it is because the modifiers no longer worked. Why would she have wanted you to come?”
“Because she likes having me around.” And that was significant. I was understanding that more and more. She could have easily pushed me away, but she didn’t. The same could be said about me. We had more in common than the surface revealed.
“Why?”
“What is with you and the never-ending questions? The why doesn’t matter.”
“The why always matters. You would be better off to think about it. I love Rachel with all my heart, but she has a harsher side to her. She is using you.”
“I’m what?” Rachel ran over clutching a hunk of metal in her hand. “What did you just say?” Her eyes blazed.
“Rachel. You’ve come.” Caspian’s face lit up.
“Did you really just tell Noah I was using him? Do you realize how crazy that sounds?”
I smiled. I didn’t want to. She was mad and for good reason, but it was amazing to watch her take on Caspian. Maybe he was behind bars, but he was still really intimidating, yet it didn’t seem to faze her at all.
“I can’t figure it out another way.”
“Maybe now that I am in control of my emotions again, I’m choosing better companions.” She wrapped her free hand around mine.
“Rachel.” Her name came out of his mouth as a whimper.
Ouch. Her words were completely warranted, but I could see that they hurt him.
“No. Don’t Rachel me. You will be respectful of Noah. And you’ll be respectful of me. I’m done being lied to and played with. I’m only here because it seemed like the best option. Once we ensure Earth is safe I’m going back. Don’t try to stop me because it won’t end well.”
“He will find someone else. Don’t think his love can be as eternal as mine.”
“I’m not asking for eternal. I’ve never asked for eternal. Ugh. Just stop. Noah is done watching you. I don’t want him subjected to you.”
“I can handle it.” I totally got why she was angry, but I could watch him if that’s the most helpful thing I could do.
“Dale is sitting around doing nothing. I am sure he wouldn’t mind having something to do.” Rachel squeezed my hand. “Besides, I’d like your company.”
I resisted the urge to gloat. She wanted my company, not his. “Oh, so you’ll subject Dale to Caspian?” I teased.
“I might actually view that as subjecting Caspian to Dale.” Rachel grinned.
“It’s funny how quickly you’ve figured that out.”
“I like him. He’s nice, but I have a feeling he’ll keep Caspian on his toes.”
“He will.”
We walked away in search of
Dale. I didn’t look back, but I already knew I’d made an enemy out of Caspian. I had a bad feeling about that.
13 Noah
“How did you make that so quickly?” I knelt down to look at the small robot that was currently circling the floor of the windowless and mostly empty room. The spaceship seemed to have lots of these secret little spaces. The trick was finding the hidden latches and touch screens to grant access to them.
“Oh. I’ve had practice.” Rachel smiled in a way that suggested there was far more to the story. I was beginning to understand that her story would take me months, if not years, to fully wrap my head around.
“Yeah, but still. That thing is cool.” I watched as the silver ball attached to two spindle like legs moved around.
“Cool.” The robot stopped and spoke in the voice of a little girl.
“It talks?” I tried to swallow down my surprise.
“Yes, I talk.” Out of nowhere two bright yellow eyes appeared on the ball. “And I see. I see you.”
Creepy. Cool yet creepy. “Umm, ok. That’s even cooler than I thought.”
“Her name is Amsi.” Rachel sat down cross-legged.
“Does that stand for anything?”
“Automatic, multi-tasking, system, integration.” Amsi answered for Rachel.
“Got it,” I replied as if robots answered my questions every day. Each time I thought the surprises were over, another came my way.
Amsi stopped in front of me. “And does Noah stand for anything?”
I stared at the two electronic eyes. There was no mouth, the voice was coming from some sort of speaker. “Not really.” I glanced over the robot to look at Rachel. “What are you going to have her do?”
“Telton can’t find updated intel on what ships are within striking distance of Earth right now. They are using some new cloaking device even he doesn’t recognize. That means the Emperor had them designed behind his back. That comes with all sorts of implications.”
“As in the Emperor knew what Telton was up to?” That wouldn’t be good news for us.
“Maybe. Or maybe he just didn’t want Telton to know what he was up to.” Rachel fidgeted with a small piece of metal.
“Neither scenario is good.”
She set down the hunk of metal. “No, definitely not.”
“So how would it work? You connect her into a larger system or…” I liked to think I had a decent grasp on technology, but I’d figured out quickly that Andrelexa technology was in a whole new ball field.
“I can connect myself in. Thank you.” Amsi rolled her head around.
“Oh. Okay.” Although I kept the sentiment to myself, it was weird to interact with a robot. Especially when it had only been a pile of parts a few hours before. I knew Rachel was cool, but this pushed cool to a whole new level. Who could build a walking, talking, robot with advanced capacities out of recycled parts? Evidently Rachel. No wonder fixing my laptop had only taken her a few minutes.
“What do you do with your free time?” Rachel stretched out her legs in front of her.
“Ah, nothing too exciting. I play music, play my share of video games, read. I go to the gym if I can motivate myself.”
“Don’t downplay it. You’re at the gym every morning at seven like some kind of lunatic.” Dale laughed.
I glanced over my shoulder. I’d had no clue he was standing there. “Aren’t you supposed to be guarding Caspian?”
“Nah. He fell asleep.” Dale leaned against the door frame.
“He fell asleep?” Rachel raised an eyebrow. “I can’t imagine.”
“He did. And right in the middle of a conversation. He’s seriously rude. I don’t see what you saw in him. Okay, I do. The guy’s got things going for him in the physical department I guess,” Dale rambled on.
“I don’t know either.” Rachel leaned back on her hands. “But it doesn’t matter now. “Tell me about the gym.”
“It’s nothing exciting. It’s where you work out. I imagine you had those places on Andrelexa.” Otherwise Caspian, Kelby, and Telton wouldn’t look the way they did.
“Maybe we did, but usually our fitness goals were met by connecting with the systems.”
“You used computers to stay in shape?” Dale walked further into the room. It made the already cramped space feel crowded. “That sounds awesome.”
Rachel laughed. “I guess so. So this gym, is it outside?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Then why go? I mean you have air you can breathe! Why not spend every minute outside?”
I smiled. “I love that.”
“Love what?”
“How excited you get about stuff.” It wasn’t getting old at all. In some ways her excitement was contagious.
“If you’d spent most of your life unable to breathe the air outside you’d feel the same way.”
“You are right. Sorry if that was rude to say, but it’s nice. It’s nice to see someone care about things the rest of us forget about.”
“When we get back to Earth try to listen. Try to focus on those things. Like you said stop to smell the roses.”
“I will.” There were a lot of things I’d try to do now. I was done living in my little numb bubble.
Amsi beeped. “Ship located. Ship in range.”
“Uh, that can’t be good.” I looked at Rachel.
Rachel paled. “Amsi, feed information into the ship’s central computer.”
Amsi beeped again. “Task complete.”
“Let’s find Telton.” Rachel jumped to her feet, and we followed her into the hall. I could hear the clip-clap steps of Amsi as she hurried to keep up with us. We reached the command pod. The doors were already open, and Telton stepped into the doorway blocking the pod from view.
“We have a problem.” Telton’s eyes were dark.
“I know. Amsi is the one who found it.”
“I assumed as much. We are lucky you work fast.” He eyed the small robot waiting beside Rachel.
“How close is the ship?” I asked. What I was really asking was how much time we had left.
“Too close.” Telton rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m using our most secure cloaking, but we’re going to have to hyperspace.” His expression darkened, and I knew that wasn’t a good thing.
“And we don’t want to do that?” I asked.
He clenched his jaw. “No. We don’t. Kelby won’t be able to find us if we jump too far, and we can’t predict with 100% certainty where we will end up. There are variations sometimes.”
“Then we can’t hyperspace. I won’t leave Angie.” I’d made enough mistakes in my life. I wasn’t adding another to my list. Especially not when it came to my sister. I’d been an idiot to let her leave with Kelby.
“There’s another option,” Caspian called from a place that sounded much closer than the prison bunk. “We are within reach of the back way into North Star. They will be required to give us safe harbor. They are a neutral planet.” He walked into view.
Rachel walked up to him and wagged a finger in his face. “What are you doing out here?”
“I heard the commotion. I couldn’t stay away. I can help.” He made no move toward her—or me. Maybe I should have been worried, but I was too busy freaking out about Angie and me being separated. I was really sucking in the whole good brother department.
“North Star holds a similar problem with hyperspacing.” Telton paced the small hallway. If he was concerned with Caspian being out he didn’t show it. “We will be hidden from all radars which is good—aside from Kelby being unable to find us.”
“Then no.” I shook my head. “That is also off the table.” Angie had made the decision to leave with Kelby, but that was under the impression I’d be waiting for her when she got back. I couldn’t just disappear on her.
“We don’t have to stay hidden forever.” Carl stepped out of the command pod. He was making himself very comfortable there. “We are better off taking a short shelter then hyperspacing. There is a
chance he could take years to find us if we jump too far.” He repeated Telton’s warning.
“We can’t risk that.” Telton spoke what I was ready to say.
“What’s our other choice? Defend an attack head-on in this ship?” Carl asked. “Is that even possible?”
“It is possible. But only if Rachel is safe. Once she is safe we can fight them off. This ship’s defense system isn’t impenetrable, but we have a strong chance,” Caspian explained.
“Stop worrying about my safety.” Rachel glared at him. “Everyone needs to be safe.”
“They want you, Rachel. You are too important to risk.” He spoke softly to her.
“Then what are you suggesting?” She asked. “What is your plan?”
“You go to North Star.” Caspian pointed to her.
“Are you suggesting we send Rachel alone?” Telton’s eyes widened. “That is unacceptable.”
“No. I am not suggesting that. She will go with him.” Caspian nodded in my direction. “He cares for her enough to make sure she survives.”
“Of course I’ll make sure she lives.” I had followed her off of Earth? Hadn’t I? “But I can’t leave Angie.”
“You aren’t leaving her. We can defend the ship long enough for them to come back. I will send word for him to expedite the mission. One they return we will all join you on North Star.” Telton seemed to be coming around to the new plan quickly.
“What is North Star?” I wasn’t going to a random planet without having some idea of what it was. I’d been following along like an idiot long enough.
“It’s a completely neutral planet. It’s hidden between several black holes. It’s the safest place in this galaxy,” Telton explained.
Blackholes and safe. Those were two words I never expected to hear in the same sentence. “And they will let us in?”
Telton nodded. “They will. They provide safe harbor to those who are oppressed.”
“And to those who aren’t for a fee.” Caspian flexed his arm. “But no one can hurt anyone while on its surface.”
“If Noah doesn’t want to go, I can.” Dale pushed his way into our mini circle in the hallway.
“No.” Telton shook his head. “You will stay here.”
Stargaze (Half Light #2) Page 9