The Slip
The Hero Concept - Book 1
Tom C Willoughby
For Julie
DAY 2
1
HE CAME TO WITH A start and stumbled backward, letting go of the shopping cart. The thick smell of excrement and decay filled his nose and slithered into his lungs. His stomach clenched in revulsion and he staggered farther away from the cart, but the stench followed. The overpowering odor tightened it’s grip, coiling around his stomach, immediately forcing the expulsion of its contents through his mouth and nose. The acidic smell of his stomach fluids was somehow an improvement and he sat heavily on the sidewalk, trying to recover.
Through watery eyes, he took a moment to get his bearings. He had on tattered clothes and mismatched sneakers. Dirt was caked on his hands. Some of the vomit had found its way through the numerous holes in what looked like pajama pants and glued them to his skin.
Nothing made sense. He did not recognize what he was wearing, his surroundings or even his hands as he held them up for inspection. He had no recollection of anything. At all. It was as if he didn’t exist and then he did.
A hum of voices suddenly filled his head. Millions of thoughts intertwined into a flowing river of ideas, discussions and comments. He felt strangely calmed by the susurrations and reached out naturally with his mind to join in. As quickly as they came they disappeared, replaced by a desolate loneliness. That felt like a memory. But a memory of what?
He heard the sound of an approaching vehicle and looked up. The image of a hovering ship entered his mind. The vehicle approached, rolling down the street on four wheels and his brain struggled to coalesce the image in his mind with the reality of what he saw. Then the image was gone and he watched the car drive past. He tried to bring the hovering ship back in his mind but it was gone. Like the memory of a dream after waking, he was left only with its impression; the knowledge that it had been there but a complete inability to recall it.
What were the voices in his head and the images of flying cars? Why didn’t he recognize himself? Tendrils of panic began surfacing throughout his body. The only thing holding them at bay were the continuing desperate pangs of loneliness. The loneliness felt familiar, and while bottomless and unbearable, provided an anchor point and he grabbed hold.
Pussy! Get the fuck out of the way! An angry voice snarled in his head. He suddenly felt his consciousness being torn away from the physical exterior of his body. He was compressed into darkness. His face was a mask he no longer wore. His view of the world had receded a distance from the mask’s oval eye cutouts. Someone else took control of his body. The octopus of panic thrashed back to life. He was no longer connected to the physical. He flailed helplessly, spinning weightless in the darkness.
Who do you think you are? I’m in control here! I’m the boss! The angry voice became violent. He sensed his body moving with harmful intent but he had now lost his view to the world, seeing only darkness. But it wasn’t complete darkness. His existence had come to some sort of equilibrium and he forced the panic back. There was a light source behind him. He was able to rotate his essence. The cutouts in the mask were still there, he had just spun away in his panic.
He was a passenger now in his own body. He watched through the windows of his dark room as he pulled a long blade from the shopping cart.
He could feel his mouth pull into a tight grin.
2
THE PATIENT SAT IN A metal chair in the center of the holding room, his arms and legs strapped to their counterparts of the chair. He leaned forward against his restraints, head hanging, his chin length hair obscuring his face.
Susan sat five feet from him with her notebook and his file open in her lap. ...listed as a John Doe...picked up on the street after a 911 call for disorderly conduct...quickly diagnosed with some mental disorders leaning toward schizophrenia or multiple personality disorder...consequently admitted to the St. Catherine's mental health facility where he now remains for further evaluation...
Dr. Susan Reynolds specialized in dissociative identity disorder (DPD), more commonly referred to as multiple personality disorder. She maintained a selective private practice in Boston but her passion was in research. Susan taught an advanced course at Harvard Medical School, which allowed her funding for research. She also offered pro bono services to mental health facilities for challenging cases like this one which needed her special expertise.
Looking up from the file, Susan met the patient’s intense eyes, his head tilted just enough to look up at her through his oily hair.
“Hello, my name is Dr. Susan Reynolds. I'm here to help you.”
John Doe suddenly jerked forward against his restraints. His eyes remained locked with Susan’s as his body violently shook in an effort to break his restraints.
Just as abruptly, his body stilled and his snarl slid into an exaggerated grin. A string of viscous saliva leaked smoothly from his lower lip towards the concrete floor. In a steady boyish voice John Doe spoke, “Let's find out what's inside your eyeball. Do you have a scalpel? If I push a scalpel slowly, through the center of your eye will you be able to watch it slide in?”
Twenty years as a psychotherapist armed Susan with the experience to deal with most situations. While not an everyday occurrence, she was not unfamiliar with extreme behavior of this sort. However, she couldn’t help feeling threatened by the patient’s maniacal aggression, even though he was restrained and presented no real physical danger.
The sterile windowless room and its location three floors beneath an old stone building only added to the menacing atmosphere John Doe’s threats created. Perhaps the town’s tortured history had put her on edge subconsciously.
St Catherine’s was one of the older psychiatric facilities in Massachusetts, in Danvers about 45 minutes north of Boston. The town suffered from a well-known association with the witch trials in neighboring Salem even though most of Danvers was beautiful. With its history of agriculture there remained expanses of open wooded land vibrant in the fall as the leaves changed to bright oranges and reds. But large parts of the farming town had succumbed to heavy stone industrial and manufacturing buildings in the early 1900s. Built in the same period, St Catherine’s sat among the dated monoliths, one of the few not yet abandoned.
Susan never understood why these older isolation rooms were made to feel so hard and cold. Comprising concrete walls, floors and ceilings illuminated by harsh fluorescent lights, she couldn’t imagine a less welcoming space. The only items in the room besides her and the patient were the metal chair he sat in bolted to the floor and the metal chair she sat in not bolted to the floor. A solid iron door stood to the side with a small glass window obscured by a metal cover on the outside and an intercom type speaker on the inside with a pushbutton inset in the wall adjacent.
Maintaining her composure she tried to normalize the conversation, “Can you tell me your name?”
Losing the grin but not the drool stalactite, his voice became sultry as he said, “Why don’t you let me out of this chair, Dr. Susan Reynolds, and I’ll I whisper my name into your ear as I fuck you from behind like the bitch dog you are.”
Susan struggled to maintain her nerve behind the professional facade and changed tack. “Do you know why you are here? Do you remember being arrested?”
John Doe leaned forward with all his weight, pulling and straining against his chair and the bolts in the floor. The tendons in his arms and legs flexed under his skin. His body shook and sweat dripped from his hair.
Susan got up and turned her back to the patient as she forced herself to walk calmly to the wall communicator. Her experience was telling her the best course was to sedate, wait, and try again later. Her instincts were telling her to run like hell.
After her second
step John Doe howled and screamed, snapping his mouth open and closed. Julia fought the urge to run. The closer she got to the microphone on the wall, the more he yelled and shook. With her finger on the attendant button, he suddenly went silent.
Susan paused and looked back. The patient leaned limply to the side, his eyes exhausted, sad and… scared?
In a completely different voice he pleaded, “Help, don’t leave. PLEASE.”
“It’s okay, you’re safe. I can help you,” Susan responded gently. Desperation had replaced his manic violence.
Susan saw a shadow pass behind his eyes as his body tensed, every muscle strained against his bonds once again. For a moment she thought he was somehow being electrocuted.
“FUCK YOU! I’M IN CONTROL HERE!” he snarled.
Susan pushed the button and watched as two attendants entered the room with a needle.
3
HE HAD TAKEN CONTROL! HE was quickly displaced again by the angry man but the fact remained: there was a way for him to take control.
He tried to recall what exactly he had done. He had been frantic to ask the Doctor for help before she left. The angry man was scaring her away. She was nice and he had hoped she could make the angry man disappear forever.
A sharp pinch on his shoulder interrupted his recollections. It wasn't the pain that drew his attention. It was that he felt anything at all. The hint of disinfectant pricked his nose; a shadow of his sense of smell was back.
He was still not in control of his body, but he was not compressed into the blackness as before either. He was somewhere in between.
He felt another pain in his shoulder and watched as the attendant pulled back an empty syringe.
A warmth spread languorously throughout his body. Wrapped in its heavy cocoon, all thoughts faded.
4
HIS EYES OPENED TO A crowded outdoor market. But they weren't his eyes; he was a passenger again. His host walked slowly along a row of food vendors, perusing the various offerings bathed in a light pink glow. The host looked up at the orange sun ringed by a red glow. It shimmered through the hazy cloud cover refracting into the pink light. It was a watercolor of pastels. The host closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of its soft warmth on his skin.
The sun was immense, dominating a quarter of the sky. Big Brother, he thought. That was the name of the sun. How did he know that? He also knew the name of the second sun, Little Brother. He could see it up and to the right of the large sun; a faint white circle a fraction the size of its larger sibling.
He felt fully connected to his host’s senses. He felt the warmth of the sun. He could hear the crunch of his feet on the dirt as they walked. There were strange smells he didn't recognize. If he tried he thought he could easily control the hosts movements. But he didn't dare, not yet.
He became aware of what sounded like a distant waterfall in his mind. As he focused on it the volume increased to a deafening roar. Individual thoughts and voices leapt out with complete clarity, before returning to the background noise just as quickly. Like little fish leaping briefly out of a pond. A very large pond.
This was the sensation that had briefly popped into his mind on the sidewalk just a day earlier.
He moved forward in his mind, to enter the waterfall but was halted by an invisible barrier. Simultaneously the roar dropped to a hush. He felt his host react. It felt like millions of people were looking at him. He panicked. Then he was gone.
DAY 5
5
BLOOD LEAKED OUT OF THE patient's eyes, nose, and mouth as Tyrone wheeled him through the emergency room doors as fast as he could. He rushed past the admitting desk to the waiting doctors and other patients brought in earlier in the day. A doctor snatched the gurney from him, and the young man quickly stepped away. Tyrone's first week was making him feel woefully unprepared for the job. All the patients had symptoms he hadn’t seen or studied as best he could recall from medical school.
It was almost 11 AM, and they had already admitted 12 patients with severe conditions. Tyrone had a brief conversation with his senior advisor during a break in the action asking if this was a normal Thursday. She claimed to have seen nothing like it in her 25 years. Thankful that he would not have this much excitement on a normal basis, Tyrone decided to grab a quick sugar fix before the next wave of horrors arrived.
The vending machines lay at the end of a gurney lined corridor. He navigated the patients waiting for doctors, trying not to focus on them for the moment. He needed a mental break.
But he would not get a break today.
A brutal retching sound caused Tyrone to snap his head around to see the gurney of a young man he had just passed. Bloody vomit at various stages of drying covered his chest and face. Convulsions racked his body. Tyrone jumped as the man ejected a torrent of bloody gruel so energetically it hit the wall and splattered back across his body, painting the floor where he had just been walking.
A nurse came rushing to attend, and Tyrone hastened his pace. This was his job, and these were his patients but he couldn’t help feeling removed, like a gawker passing a pileup on the highway. He was on edge and resisted turning his head but his eyes betrayed him swiveling in their sockets to a man with a sickly off-white pallor. He glistened under a layer of sweat but otherwise seemed to be in much better condition than his neighbor. Okay, he looks “normally” sick. Maybe just a fever. His shoulders relaxed a little.
It was the last gurney that finally made Tyrone question his choice of profession. A slurry of moist white and red fat covered the left side of the patient’s face. His eyes were closed, and he did not appear to be breathing. Tyrone stopped and leaned over the still man’s face. Upon closer inspection he could see various depths of exposed tissue where the man’s cheek and eye socket had decomposed. It looked like his face was turning inside out exposing striations of sub-dermal sinew. Suddenly the patient’s eyes snapped open as he loudly gasped a breath into his open mouth. Tyrone froze in shock, locked in the stare of a milky white eyeball staring blindly out of its excavated cavity. He jumped when the patient grasped his arm and stumbled backward shaking off the man’s grip.
Tyrone’s lungs pumped too quickly as panic set in. Frozen in place, he watched the man struggle to sit up. The patient’s good eye locked on Tyrone and a shaky hand reached toward him as he mouthed the word “Help”.
Tyrone blacked out and crumpled to the floor.
DAY 10
6
“SIR, WE HAVE ANOTHER CALL coming in, this one from Northwestern Hospital in Chicago reporting multiple suspect patients,” said Maddy.
“Take down the details. I need to go talk to the Secretary,” Edward responded standing up to put on his suit coat. Edward was the deputy assistant at the Center for Disease Control. As per protocol hospitals reported in upon receipt of patients with unusual symptoms or rare diagnoses. They had been monitoring an uptick in reports over the past couple of days but today there was an explosion of reports and it wasn’t even noon yet. Edward knew that exponential growth of this magnitude was indicative of an epidemic, but the reports were not isolated to a single virus or disease.
What the hell is going on? Edward thought. It was time to escalate.
DAY 11
7
THE ON-CALL NURSE AT St. Catherine's directed Susan to therapy room B indicating Carla would be brought there momentarily, as she had just gone through a traumatic episode.
In exchange for helping the hospital to diagnose and treat patients when the facility was overwhelmed or required her expertise, Dr. Susan Reynolds was given access to the patients so she could carry out her own research focused on dissociative identify disorder. Today's visit would be her third research session with Carla. Susan had so far identified two of her alters, Carla and Elizabeth, with Carla appearing to be the host. Carla ranked fairly high on the Dissociative Experiences Scale, so Susan had an expectation that a number of additional alters were yet to be identified.
After a perfunctory knock at the door
, an attendee walked Carla into the room and showed her to the couch where she sat down. The attendee then left as silently as he came, closing the door behind him.
“Hello, how are you doing?” Susan asked, careful to not use a name until it was clear who was present.
When Carla looked up Susan saw an instant of surprise recognition in her eyes. Like when you see someone you are not expecting on the street. Carla immediately sat up, locking her eyes onto Susan.
“Dr Reynolds! It is so good to see you again! Something has happened to me. I don't understand any of it.” Carla spoke quickly, clearly under duress. “I'm having strange memories. Sometimes control of my body is taken away. And now…now my body has changed…”
Carla’s voice dropped off, her desperation was palpable.
There was something about Carla's eyes that seemed different but familiar somehow at the same time. And the voice… Susan felt she’d heard that tone before, somewhere else, but shook it off.
“It's okay Carla. You're okay. This is a safe place and everyone is here to help you.” Susan leaned forward and gently touched Carla's hand as she tried to calm her.
“Let's take it step-by-step. Do you remember where we left off the last time we talked?” Susan used this easy and natural way to identify which alter she was speaking with. Her prior session notes indicated where the discussions with each alter had left off.
“I was trying to talk to you. I broke through briefly but the angry man was too strong and pushed me back. Then you left and two other people came in…then I was somewhere else…I don't know where…I don't know anything…what is happening to me?”
The Slip Page 1