Julia forced the lid closed on the rising panic trying to free itself in her belly. One step at a time, she reminded herself. She suddenly felt the need to move. Her mind was running.
Brian’s voice brought her back to the moment, “We need to confirm whether China is behind this. Julia, can you handle this with the agency?”
“China is tough. We don’t have a great network in place. Everyone there is so paranoid our assets don’t stay invisible for long. Maybe the satellite images of the gulf will give us some insight,” Julia said.
“We’ve got people dying by the thousands Julia. If the CIA can’t do this who can? You guys need to figure something out. Start thinking outside the box. If the agency’s been sitting on any long shots nows the time.” Brian’s exhaustion allowed his frustration to show in his voice.
Long shots… Julia thought back to her earlier conversation with Susan.
She quickly excused herself and went to wake Susan.
It was time to continue their discussion.
DAY 13
12
JULIA AND SUSAN SPED TOWARD the hospital in Danvers in a long wheelbase black Cadillac SUV. It had just picked them up on the tarmac and whisked them away from the private government chartered jet that had flown them the hour and a half from Arlington and the think tank.
“Even IF this is a real thing we still have no idea what we are dealing with,” Susan said, picking up their conversation from the plane.
Julia had woken Susan at 2:15 that morning to convince her that they needed to visit her new patient while Brian attended the cabinet meeting.
Once her annoyance at the early wake up call passed, Susan was easily persuaded to get back to Carla and figure out the mystery that had presented itself. She was eager to diagnose the peculiar similarity between her two patients’ personalities and debunk the impossible theory that had been niggling at her. However, she was struggling with Julia's potential involvement with a patient.
“But, BUT, if it is real and we can get comfortable with it, we would have a tool no other country in the world has,” Julia said.
“Right, the ultimate spy as you said. Even if we make that quantum leap and pretend there is a real ability, how would we harness it? Is it something evil? We can’t exactly discharge a mentally ill patient and induct them into the CIA. What are you going to do, let it enter your own mind?” Susan said.
Susan didn’t like the contemplative look on Julia’s face and ended the conversation by returning to her phone to make some last minute confirmations with the hospital as Julia watched the blur of the city out her window.
There were certainly perks to the big budgets of DARPA programs. Julia was accustomed to non-commercial transportation but her experience involved military craft and transports not luxury business jets and plush leather upholstered cars. Maybe spending money was one thing the government was actually efficient at doing, Julia thought to herself.
Julia and Susan had fallen into old rhythms as they caught up on the hour and a half plane ride. It had been a couple of years since they had worked together researching potential links between mental disorders and terrorism, and quite a few more years than that since Julia had been her patient. Susan had served as the screening psychotherapist when Julia had initially been targeted for induction into the CIA. In addition to rigorous physical and intelligence testing, she had been subjected to in-depth psychoanalysis which ended up turning into therapy.
Years later when Julia was looking for a psychotherapist to assist the CIA with a program for early targeting of terrorists and covert deterrence, she had gone back to Susan who happily joined the team. Her main area of research focused on personality disorders which linked up well with the program.
Julia remembered how she and Susan had fallen easily into sync back when they first started working together. While theirs was a professional relationship, it had the ease of two long time friends getting together after months apart. Julia wasn’t good at keeping friends mostly due to the nature of her job and her trust issues. It had been a long time since she had felt the happiness of just being with a friend and she was overcome by a moment of sadness knowing this would end after the job was done.
Susan, still on the phone, was already halfway out of the car as they came to a stop.
“You will be able to hear and watch us on the audio/video feed from here,” Susan instructed Julia. They were in one of the observation rooms where recorded footage, and any of the live camera feeds in the hospital could be pulled up. Susan was breaking the rules and the Hippocratic oath, but if she squinted she had convinced herself she could see a narrow grey area in light of current events justifying her actions.
“If anyone finds you in here you broke in. That's my story,” Susan said as her final statement to Julia.
Susan left and a few minutes later Julia looked up at the monitor as she heard the door to Susan’s office click open through the speakers. A slightly heavyset man, wearing hospital issued pajama-like white pants and a long sleeved shirt was being led to Susan’s couch by Jared, who Julia recognized as the orderly Susan had talked to at the main desk when they first arrived.
Susan’s heart was beating quickly as Harlon sat down on the couch across from her and Jared left the room. She scolded herself for even contemplating any type of irrational explanation for the events of her last session with Carla. She was a doctor, a woman of science. But she had set up this test with Harlon, hadn’t she, based on an impossible but enticing theory. She had been barely able to wait to get back here from DARPA, to explore the nagging thought that she couldn’t get out of her head. Tense with anticipation, Susan squeezed her mug of tea in both hands as she sat across from Harlon and waited.
Harlon looked up slowly and connected with her eyes. She recognized that look.
“Dr. Reynolds! I'm so glad to see you again. Thank you for putting me with Harlon. He is a much nicer host than Carla… or Elizabeth. Much nicer than the angry man. That's for sure.”
“Hello Harlon. Good to see you as well. What do you mean by host, Harlon?” Susan managed shakily, clinging to the thread of possibility she fought to sever and follow at the same time.
Susan looked up at the hidden pinhole camera for support where she knew Julia was watching, and steeled herself for the response.
“I’m not Harlon, Dr. Reynolds, he’s here but currently in the background. I feel like a guest in Harlon’s body, which I guess is why I said host.”
Susan tried to keep her thoughts rational. This could just be one of Harlon’s alters. In which case it would make sense that he was happy to no longer be in the same room as Carla… or really Elizabeth, as she could be quite vindictive. She felt like she was trying to convince herself of something she already knew to be false. But it could just be an alter.
“Let's stay with this for a moment. You said you are not Harlon, that you feel like a guest. Can you tell me more about that, about how you are feeling?” Susan asked.
“I was inside Carla and now I'm inside Harlon, and before that I was inside the angry man. I don't know how else to explain it. I still can't remember things though, like my name.” His jovial voice gave way to sadness as he spoke these last words.
Susan sloshed tea onto her pant leg and the carpet and quickly lurched forward to try to regain control of her mug. This wasn’t possible, how could this be? Susan thought as she tried to regain composure, finally placing the tea on the side table.
In almost a whisper Susan reluctantly gave voice to the idea she kept resisting, “You were the one who asked for help just as I was getting on the intercom to have the orderlies come into the room…” Her voice trailed off speaking as much to the room as to Harlon. Susan’s eyes wandered while her mind tried to grapple with the possibility of the situation. Her attention was brought back to Harlan as he spoke again, “Yes, exactly!”
“But how are you here now, Harlon…I mean, in Harlon’s mind…or body…?”
“When the angry man grabbed
Carla, I felt an opening…a pathway that was suddenly there. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling at the time but I was so desperate to get away from him that I just let go and fell into it, not really caring what was going to happen. When I talked to you that second time Dr. Reynolds, in your office here, I wasn’t really sure where I was or what had happened and then Elizabeth pushed me to the back and took control. I wasn’t able to do anything at that point except watch and listen for the rest of the session. It was during that session that I realized I had somehow moved or slipped from the angry man’s body to Elizabeth’s, or actually Carla’s. Once I realized this I was able to wrest control from Elizabeth briefly, which was when I spoke to you again, but then she took back control. Excuse my language but that Elizabeth is a bit of a bitch.”
Susan laughed a little at that, which felt borderline hysterical, and let out the breath which she had been holding. She felt like she was losing it and hoped she didn’t have the crazy eyes she sometimes saw in her patients which would betray her. Surprisingly, she also felt relieved.
“No. Fucking. WAY!” Julia said in the observation room as she stood up and started gathering her things. She was mumbling to herself as she exited and walked down the hall to Susan’s office, “This is unbelievable…this shit better be real!…sonofabitch…”
Once she got to Susan’s office she knocked quietly while peeking into the room and then entered before waiting for a response from Susan.
“Julia! Hello! I wasn’t expecting you to come in…” Susan uttered before being cut off by Julia who was already pulling a chair over.
“Yes yes I know, but with saving the world and all that, Susan, we can’t follow normal procedure, we need to move quickly.” Susan just watched as Julia sat down and looked Susan in the eye with a matter-of-fact look.
Changing her focus to Harlon Julia introduced herself, “Hi, my name is Julia Cacerek.”
“Hi Julia,” Harlon responded cheerfully. Julia’s sudden appearance had not phased Harlon at all and in fact, now Harlon looked happier than ever. “I’m sorry, but strangely I don’t actually know my name. Maybe I forgot it? Dr Reynolds is that unusual?”
Susan wrenched her focus from Julia back to Harlon and she wanted to say what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck but instead responded, “A precedence for amnesia in certain situations yes, but this is different…this is…I’m not sure what this is…”
“You okay Susan?” Julia asked.
Susan shook her head to mentally reset and regain her focus, “Yes. Julia, yes. Just needed a moment to digest the situation.”
“Okay, so let’s get into it,” Julia said.
After they talked for a while an orderly came to take Harlon to lunch and Susan and Julia stood, stretched and looked at each other with the same excited look, although they were each excited for different reasons.
Susan and Julia were able to talk with Harlon for 30 minutes and were starting to understand a little bit more.
As a near term solution Harlon’s occupant had taken the name Sam which worked as a temporary asexual name since not only did Sam not remember his/her name, he/she also did not identify with a gender. This was unusual insofar as Susan’s experience in the field of psychiatry and she had noted to do some research for similar cases.
Sam had described becoming “aware” for the first time (that he could remember anyway), within John Doe’s mind and body, pushing a shopping cart on the sidewalk, where he was picked up by the police, and eventually placed at St Catherine’s psychiatric hospital.
Sam thought he might be in hell or a nightmare, trapped with the angry man’s psychotic persona and the hint of others lurking in the darkness. When Susan had been about to leave the holding cell, his abject terror at the thought of being trapped with the angry man started him flailing in the darkness and he discovered that he could move “forward” and take control of John Doe’s physical body. This was when he spoke to Susan for the first time, briefly, before being pushed back to the darkness by the angry man.
Later when John Doe had grabbed ahold of Carla, when their skin touched during the scuffle, Sam felt the opening which turned out to be a pathway that he fell through into Carla’s mind and body.
“So you had an inkling that there was a person who had moved from John Doe’s body to Carla’s body which is why you set up the opportunity for it to happen again by putting her in the same room as Harlon?” Julia asked Susan as they reviewed their notes.
“At the time I had convinced myself that there might be a calming effect for Carla’s alter Elizabeth, if she was placed with Harlan who historically was non-reactive to people. Although I have to admit, subconsciously I think I wanted to see if something else might be going on, yes.” Susan said semi-noncommittally.
“Well you know what we are going to have to do, right? And I’ll answer my own question to spare you your conflicting thoughts. We are going to have to convince the Slip to work with us in the field,” Julia said.
“The Slip, what is that? Is that your way of dehumanizing Sam so he/she can become a tool instead of a person?” Susan asked, trying to appear disgusted. Then she resignedly added, “I know, Julia. I always knew that this was your best case scenario outcome although I’m not sure how I feel about it. We really don’t know what we are dealing with and I’m guessing you’re talking about letting him into your mind.”
“Yes, I suppose so,” Julia said losing her energy and taking on a solemn expression.
“I know your history Julia. We worked on trust and letting people in for a long time together, and this would be, well, magnitudes more intrusive than that. But what if Sam decides to take over your mind and body and for some reason you are not able to come back? That might be a real scenario, as strange as it sounds,” Susan said with real concern.
“I am nervous, Susan. But it’s a risk I’m going to have to take. If it goes sideways you’ll just have to hypnotize me and perform an exorcism.” Julia forced a smile as she resigned herself to the task.
With Harlon’s belly full and the three of them back in their places in her office Sam was anxious to talk more.
“I am so glad to be in Harlon’s body and away from those others,” Sam exalted, as he reclined a little more on the couch. “Harlon is such a mellow guy, he seems happy enough to let me be in control. There is someone else here as well but I haven’t explored in that direction.”
“Are you able to communicate with Harlon? Internally, I mean,” Susan said.
“Yes, I am, although he doesn't talk much.”
“So would it be possible for Harlon, or Elizabeth, or anyone with multiple personalities to slip into another body?” Julia asked.
“I’m not sure. The first time for me was definitely a lucky act of desperation and I had no idea what I was doing or what would happen. The second time with Harlon I searched for the feeling I remembered with Carla. It is sort of like a hidden current in a river that you might not know was there until you moved part of your body near or into it. At first I couldn’t feel anything but once I relaxed I could feel it. It got stronger when I put both hands on him. Then I just had to mentally let go and I was in. I suppose if someone knew the feeling to look for they could do it too. I don’t know.”
Susan took over. “One of the big questions for me is your origin. Along those lines are you the actual persona of John Doe somehow transferred to another physical being, as unbelievable as that sounds? If that’s the case, why don’t you remember your name or association with him, and why don’t you identify as a male?
“From our brief discussions today you seem to be in the realm of “normal” regarding social capabilities and emotional capacity. Also, you have knowledge and experience, like the metaphor of water currents in a river you used just now. Where and how did you obtain that knowledge and experience?”
“I don’t know Doctor. There’s also the strange memories that seem to be triggered when I transfer to a new host. Those are more scary than anything because they could
n’t possibly be real but they feel real. And the dream…the dream had to have been real… but that’s impossible…” Sam said, losing a little bit of his smile and exuberance.
Julia stood up. “Well I, we, have a solution for one of those issues. At least a temporary one while we work on the rest. I’m guessing you are not aware of the current situation in the country. Essentially the U.S. is under attack and we are technologically outmatched. We believe we know who is attacking us but we have not been able to confirm it using our normal information gathering techniques. At this point we need to see firsthand what is happening in order to confirm and stop the attacks.
“With your unique and unbelievable ability we might actually have a chance at making this work. So what I’m saying is we need your help.
“Sam, I know Dr Reynolds wants to help you figure everything out and probably doesn't want you going anywhere or doing anything before she can give you that help, but…”
Shaking her head, Susan finished for Julia. “But what we are asking, is will you help us?”
13
JULIA WAS EYE-BALLING DIRECTOR Paul Greenfield's guest chairs through his half open office door when Paul walked out to hand some papers to his assistant and saw her. “Ah great you’re here, that was quick.”
“Gotta love the DARPA budget. I could get used to the private jets and cars,” Julia said taking his hand in both of hers and giving Paul an extra long hand shake.
Paul directed her to the sofa in the small sitting area in his office. “Hmm, well, don’t get too used to it. I can’t have my best agent going soft on me,” he said with a tight lipped smile.
Paul took the antique Chinese wooden Ming chair adjacent to the couch where Julia sat. She caught herself sneering at the evil guest chairs, relieved she wasn’t going to have to tangle with them today.
The Slip Page 4