by Selena
I wish there was an easy answer, but I don’t see one. I don’t know if I did the right thing, or if I did something cruel. I thought I was on the right side, but now I don’t know which side is right. I don’t even know which side I’m on.
“Maybe I can still be the Dog,” Dixie says.
“You’re worth so much more than that,” I tell her. “You got up in front of the whole town and shook your ass like a boss.”
Dixie sighs. “Which, by the way, I’m still grounded for. I was hoping I could go to the Darlings’ New Year’s Eve party, but I don’t think it’ll ever happen now.”
“I’m sorry,” I say. “It’s my fault. But I’m not sorry you did it. You were a rock star.”
“I’m not sorry, either,” she admits with a sly grin.
“And hey, if it makes you feel any better, I don’t think your parents would stop you from going if the Darlings invite you.”
“You really think so?”
She’s so earnest it hurts me to look at her. I told Devlin I didn’t like them having Dolls and Dogs, and he said he’d get rid of them. He’s already disbanded the Dolls. As I look at Dixie, though, I wonder if she’s right. Is this her only chance to be close to Colt, her only chance to win him over? I don’t know if I’m ruining her dream or saving her dignity. And really, is it my place to decide? I thought I was making the school better, but now I’m not so sure. Maybe I should have kept out of it, the same as my brothers should have. Are all my good intentions paving stones on the way to hell?
sixteen
Crystal
There’s a reason I don’t want to be a Darling Doll. Not only is it too close to the Dog, but I’m done with people labeling me. I want to choose my own label. I don’t want to be a pawn in someone else’s game or a toy someone plays with. I’m no one’s fangirl. I’m Devlin’s equal. He’s changing the rules for me, and the whole school has taken notice. I don’t need a necklace to prove my worth. I already wear a fucking crown.
“Royal’s got a meeting with the coaches at lunch today,” King says to me on Thursday as we head to my locker before school. “I thought I’d go with him.”
“But the season’s over,” I say, hoping they’ll split off so I won’t have to get my coffee in front of Royal. I swear, Devlin’s needling him on purpose. I asked him to stop with the drinks in my locker, but he said no one was going to tell him he couldn’t take care of his girl.
“Season’s over, but Royal needs to play next year,” King says.
In Devlin’s spot. It won’t matter then, though. Devlin’s graduating. He doesn’t have to fight Royal to keep his place. They could all play together if they’d just get over their stubborn pride.
“We’ve got detention, but we can skip to look out for you,” Baron says.
“It’s fine,” I say. “No one is giving me shit anymore. You know that.”
“Yeah,” King says slowly.
Duke throws an arm around my shoulders. “Baby sis is the only one of us who’s made it to the top. No one messes with you.”
“And I don’t think she even tried,” Baron says, studying me with a look I’ve never seen before, both impressed and wary. The look of someone who underestimated me. Even my family does that—maybe especially them. It’s one thing for the Darlings to do it without knowing me. It’s hurts a little that the Dolces still think I’m some fragile, helpless little girl, even when I’ve proven otherwise.
“You don’t think I went through shit to get here?” I ask, lifting my chin and staring back at Baron. “If I’m on top, it’s because I fucking earned it. Believe me, I paid my dues.”
“She’s right,” King says. “She did what it took to earn their respect. Not just the Darlings, either.”
I’m not sure it’s respect that the other girls at Willow Heights are giving me. As we arrive at my locker, I notice other girls watching, their jealousy so apparent its almost palpable. Everyone knows who gets me coffee every morning. Everyone knows that Devlin doesn’t do things like that—or he didn’t before me. I may not have a ballerina necklace, but I’m the only girl the Darlings are showing favor right now.
“And maybe I’m right about not fighting them,” I say, turning the combination on my locker.
“If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em,” Royal says, but it sounds more like a challenge than a suggestion.
“I didn’t join them,” I say, relieved to pull open my locker and hide behind the door. “I just accepted the way things are.”
That’s not exactly true. I’m changing things from the inside. But no one else knows I’m still seeing Devlin, so I can’t tell them that. Royal caught me coming in that night, and he obviously doesn’t believe it when I deny my relationship with his enemy, but at least he hasn’t told the others.
When I open my locker, the coffee is there like always. I can’t hide it. I don’t know what else to do, so I get out my books and the cup like it’s perfectly ordinary, like I don’t notice Royal’s hands fisting at his sides. I’ll have to talk to Devlin again.
“You’ll be okay with just the girls at lunch?” King asks.
“Fine,” I say, closing my locker and smiling up at my brother.
“Try not to fall on any dicks on the way,” Royal grumbles.
“Try not to run into the counselor on the way,” I shoot back. “She might actually, you know. Help you.”
“If you want to help me, give me back my sister.”
“I’m right here,” I say, exasperated by this bickering that never ends.
Royal works his jaw back and forth. “Yeah,” he says at last. “You are.” Then he turns and walks off.
I’m not the only one who’s changed the minds of the other students at Willow Heights. Since the day he went ballistic on Devlin in the hall and screamed at me about the coffee, everyone treats him like a ticking time bomb. They move out of his way as he passes, shying away from him and casting wary glances his way.
I sigh and turn to King with a tight smile. “I’ll be fine at lunch. He obviously needs you with him. I’ll see you after school.”
He leans down to plant a quick kiss on top of my head. “Have a good day, Crys.”
Guilt flares inside me as I make my way into class. I feel for my oldest brother, stuck in the middle of all this. As the buffer between Royal and me, he bears the brunt of Royal’s anger. All he wants is to protect us both, but he can’t. He’d let me date a Darling if it meant I was safe at this school, but that would bring Royal’s wrath down on me tenfold. I’m the one in the wrong, the one hurting my brother so I can selfishly hold onto something of my own, something that’s already doomed.
I’m the problem. I need to just stop before it goes any further, before it all blows up in my face. Before my family decides to kill Devlin.
Because that’s what Royal would want, and as I remember their callous laughter about taking the life of some innocent worker at the construction site just to frame Preston’s dad, I have no doubt that they’d do it. Devlin’s not just working for the wrong person. He’s fucking the Dolce Daughter, the girl they still see as sweet and innocent.
I take my seat next to Devlin, and my heart rips slowly down the middle at the knowledge of what I have to do. I don’t even know where to begin. Do I do it quick and callous, like I did when he came home from jail? Or do I slowly pull away, making myself unavailable until we’ve grown apart? Which one will hurt him less?
“Stop putting coffee in my locker, Devlin,” I say. “I mean it. Royal can’t handle it.”
“Okay,” Devlin says, his hand finding my thigh under the table.
I want to melt into it, to whimper with pleasure as his warm palm skims over my skirt, grazing along the thick fabric with a jealous familiarity. My skirt rises just an inch, but I can feel the air on the newly bared skin above my knee like a whisper from his hot lips. The dance, the tease, makes me yearn for more until it settles into a heavy ache between my thighs. I want his fingers on my skin, under my skirt. I want his
rough, possessive touch, his commanding hands that demand my surrender.
How can I tear myself from this boy, the one whose touch brings me to life and makes me blaze like a wildfire? How can I choose to douse that fire instead of letting it run free?
I have to, though. I have to because the fire he’s started is burning up my twin, continuing his torture. I’ve always put my family first, before my own needs. Why should this be any different? What made me think that this time, just once, I could have something for myself?
*
The cafeteria is buzzing with excitement as we settle in at our table at lunch. It feels empty with just the three of us, but kinda nice, too. I like hanging out with just the girls, not having to censor what I say.
“Anything we need to know about?” I ask, nodding to the rest of the room. My back is to them, and though I know Devlin wouldn’t hurt me, I don’t know if I’ll ever stop feeling jumpy when the other Darlings are in a room with me.
“They’re making an announcement,” Dixie says, leaning across the table toward me, her eyes rounded and brimming with so much excitement I’m surprised they haven’t popped out of her head.
“Okay, calm down there,” I say. “You’re scaring me a little.”
“This could be it,” she whisper-shrieks, grabbing my hand with bruising force. “Colt could be announcing his Doll.”
Before I can answer that, a gasp goes up. I turn to watch the Darlings stride in, all three of them walking side by side like some kind of wet-dream team. Dixie sighs, melting back in her chair. I can’t blame her. The three of them together like that are almost too much to bear.
Dixie slips around the table to sit with me and Dolly, our backs to our table as we face the rest of the room from our spot in the corner. The whole cafeteria falls silent, as if every girl is stunned speechless by the sight of them, all broad shoulders, taut abs, trim hips, and long legs. Colt grins and tosses his floppy blond bangs off his forehead. Preston smirks. “Well, look at that,” he says. “They got themselves all prepped and ready for us. Just the way I like it.”
“We’ve trained them well,” Devlin drawls, strolling over and gliding his fingertips along the edge of their usual table. I swear every girl in the cafeteria must be watching those fingers, imagining them on her skin. But only I know how it truly feels.
Well, me and Dolly. My stomach twists, all my smugness that he’s mine alone suddenly vanishing. Devlin turns, his eyes sweeping across the room and meeting mine. A shock goes through me, my pulse racing and my thighs threatening to clench. God, one look and I’m putty for this boy. How am I supposed to exist without him in my life?
“You’ve probably heard that we took back the necklaces,” Preston says. “Today, we’ll give them back—but only three. We’ll each choose a girl worthy of being a Darling Doll. We might have gotten a little lax with it before, but this time, we’re choosing only the best. Girls worthy of the name.”
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” Dixie whispers under her breath.
“Calm down,” Dolly says, squeezing her arm. “You’re still the Dog. You can’t be a Doll.”
Colt picks up where Preston left off. “I’m sure y’all are burning up with questions, so I’ll try to answer them ahead of time. Like before, how long you’re a Doll depends on how long we say you are. If we get done playing with you, or you don’t play nice, we’ll take back the necklace. So you better have it with you at all times.”
A little murmur goes up as girls speculate on whether they’ll be next. I see Becca getting fanned by her friends like she’s about to faint. Kaylee looks smug as she smiles up at the boys, sure she’ll get her necklace back. Colt winks at her, egging her on.
I start to roll my eyes at the spectacle. The Darlings love their audiences. But then I realize it’s all part of their control, part of their carefully constructed kingdom. The seniors listen, so the freshmen follow suit. They don’t have to quiet the room like the headmaster before an assembly. Everyone wants to hear what they have to say. It’s never boring, and at any moment, they might announce a winner, and that person’s life will change.
“One more thing,” Devlin says, his silky voice rippling over the crowd and soothing them into silence before his gaze settles on me. “The Darling Dog is retiring. There will be no new one chosen.”
They let that sink in for about ten seconds, just enough time for everyone to comment to their friend, and their friend to make a quick reply. Devlin’s eyes never leave mine.
I feel a tiny grin creep across my face, and the smallest smile tugs at the corner of his lips. He slides his hands into his pockets, looking so self-satisfied I can’t decide if I want to smack him or eat him. He’s such a colossal dick, but the fact that he knows it, that he enjoys wielding so much power, makes him strangely irresistible. He used his power, and he did it for me. And he’s damn sure going to make me show my appreciation later.
Damnit, now my thighs really are clenching.
Fucking Devlin.
“Do you think he’s really going to ask me?” Dixie squeals, pulling me from the trance Devlin’s got me in. “Maybe that’s why they got rid of the Dog. So they can make me a Doll.”
“They’re coming this way,” Dolly says, nudging me with her jeweled pink heel.
“I’m going to faint,” Dixie whispers, clutching the edges of her chair.
“Maybe they’re just getting back the collar,” I say, not wanting my friend to be disappointed. Hell, I don’t want to be disappointed. I know Devlin cares about Dolly, and since the Dolls are named for her and I told him I didn’t care about this stuff, I shouldn’t even want a necklace. But they made it so exciting that even I got caught up for a minute.
My heartbeat picks up with every step they take until it’s racing by the time they stop in front of us. For a second, I think—maybe. Maybe I could have Devlin, and Dixie could have Colt, and Dolly could have Preston. Maybe we’d be at the top, like Dixie wants, like the Darlings already are. Could it be this perfect, the three kings with their three queens, all of us best friends? Isn’t this every girl’s dream? How can I say no to that if they offer?
“I’m sure you came for this,” Dolly says, reaching inside her shirt. She pulls out a tiny, diamond ballerina charm. And even though I know what I do, and I said what I did, it still stings that he let her keep it when he took it from all the other girls.
“Dolly,” Devlin murmurs, a frown pulling between his brows. “You don’t have to give that back.”
“I know,” she says. “But I’ve been holding onto it for too long. Holding onto something that hasn’t belonged to me in years—maybe it never did. Something I thought I needed. But I don’t need it anymore.”
Everyone in the cafeteria is dead silent, leaning in, trying to hear, but Devlin and Dolly keep their voices low. She buckles the necklace and holds it up. It hangs suspended in the air between them, but he doesn’t reach for it.
“You love ballerinas,” he says.
“And you,” she says in her sweet, southern drawl, “Don’t love me.” It’s not a question, not bitter or sad, just a fact.
He looks like he’s going to speak, but she holds up a hand to stop him, her pointy iridescent nails glimmering in the overhead lights. “I thought you were end game, Devlin Darling. But you weren’t. Not for me. You were more like… A preseason exhibition game. I got my whole season in front of me, my whole life. I got my own playoffs to win, my own championship ring waiting. And this isn’t it.”
Devlin swallows before reaching out, a fond half-smile forming on his lips as his hand closes around the thread of white gold. “Go get that ring, Doll.”
I see something in that moment, something I know I’m not supposed to see. I see Preston. I’m sure I’m the only one who sees it, but it’s there for just a flash. Maybe it’s because he’s standing in front of me while Devlin stands in front of the girl he wants. Maybe it’s because my own shoulders want to slump with relief as much as his when Devlin takes the
charm from Dolly, removing his claim from her. Maybe it’s because I’m looking for it, because he fascinates me, because I see him in a way no one else does.
He’s a boy hurting for what he can never have because her family and his family say they don’t belong together. That’s something I understand all too well.
Preston’s eyes meet mine, and whatever was there slips behind his mask of indifference. He holds my gaze, and suddenly, I can barely breathe. Something passes between us, and I know that he can see it in my eyes. He knows that I saw what he tries so hard to hide.
But it’s Colt who speaks next. He turns to the crowd, not keeping this between him and his choice like Devlin, where only a few people overheard.
“There’s only one girl at this school who deserves to wear my necklace,” he says, holding up a hand. The chain threads through his fingers, the little charm dangling below his fist. “She’s the last person I would have expected to be making a Doll, but here I am.”
Beside me, Dixie lets out a tiny squeak. She’s panting so hard it’s a wonder she hasn’t passed out from hyperventilation. At the next table over, one full of girls who spend their energy on academics rather than trying to climb the social ladder, I spot Mabel Darling. She’s the only girl in the room not hanging onto Colt’s every word just about as hard as Dixie is. While even the girls around her watch Colt with stars in their eyes, Mabel continues eating like nothing is happening.
Colt goes on after a pause to let all the girls wonder if he could be talking about them. “This girl took me by surprise,” he says. “At first, you might think she’s soft, but she’s stronger than you know.”
Dixie turns red all the way to her ears. I squeeze her hand, and for the briefest moment, my eyes meet Mabel’s. She glances up now and then, so it’s clear she’s not deliberately avoiding the spectacle, but her expression is one of complete disinterest, as if her cousins aren’t there at all. Now that’s a girl who deserves some kind of honor—not that she’d want it. She refuses to play the game, even though her grandfather is the gamemaster. How does she do it?