by Layla Heart
Kit clings to me as much as I’m clinging to him, his nails digging into the skin of my back as he lets out low wailing sounds. The sounds of a broken boy, the sounds of someone who fears never to see their loved one again.
I’m more terrified than ever, of losing Rune, of losing Finn, of them dying. I can’t lose them. I just can’t lose them, ever. And now they’re out there, and I have no way of knowing if they’re safe until they return to us, which can take days...
If they return to us. If either of them returns to us.
* * *
I stare out the window, not able to stop looking out over the forest. I know that Rune and Finn are out there somewhere, on their way to the border between the werewolf and the fae/dragon kingdom, out there, all alone. And I’m here, in bed, not able to sleep.
Kit stirs, opening his eyes as he reaches out to me, his fingers on my bare back tentative, like he’s scared to startle me, even when I’m looking at him. “Can’t sleep?” His voice is rough, his eyes still red from crying, as I’m sure mine are too. We’ve been clinging to each other for the last hours, going between crying and just staring into nothing. The others have mostly left us alone, even when I could see that Finn and Rune leaving upset them too.
I shake my head, taking his hand, and holding it close. “Not when they’re not here. When they’re out there...”
“I know.” He rolls closer to me and kisses my side. “But you need your sleep. As soon as they start sending the first dragons through that door, we need to go to campus and prepare there. We need to be ready to welcome them.”
“I know.” But instead of curling up next to him, I climb out of bed. “But not tonight. I can’t do this tonight.” I blindly grab some clothes off the floor, ending up with my shirt from last night and Rune’s shirt he’s left on the floor, and tears blur my vision again as my breath catches. I thought I was all out of tears, but apparently I’m not. I pull Rune’s shirt on, it’s long enough to be a very short dress, and then I leave the room, going down the stairs. I just can’t sleep. Not now, not tonight. I can’t sit still when I’m this restless.
As I reach the closed kitchen door, looking for maybe a snack, there’s still light coming from under it, and there are low voices inside. I can’t catch whose voices, so I carefully open the door, glancing inside.
Phoenix and Bane are sitting at the table, maps and books surrounding them, and they’re scribbling things down furiously as they keep checking something on Phoenix’ computer.
Quietly, I walk over to them, they’re so engrossed in what they’re doing that they don’t even realise I’m in the room with them.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Phoenix jabs her pen into the map and it stands by itself as she’s jammed it down so hard, it’s now stuck in the wood of the table. I let out a small, surprised sound, which finally makes her look up, her eyes wide, fear flashing in them. “Litha.” Her voice is breathy and she falls back in her chair, her breathing irregular, but she’s trying to get it under control.
“Hey.” Bane gets up, coming over to me, his eyes wary. “Couldn’t sleep?” He reaches out, like he’s trying to guide me out of the kitchen or something.
I shake my head. “What are you doing?”
He exchanges a look with Phoenix, like he’s asking her permission to say something. Not them too.
“Bane?” I step past him, to the table, and even though he’s holding my arm, he lets go as I get closer, like he’s given up on trying to stop me. “What’s going on here?”
They’ve got a map of the four kingdoms on the table, filled with all sorts of scribbles and notes, and Phoenix’ pen is stuck in the table on the fae side of the border, a spot close to the werewolf territory, close to where we are, and not far from where Rune and Finn will be crossing the border.
“Phoenix?” I look at her and she avoids my gaze. “What’s that?” I turn to her more. “Phoenix?!”
“It’s where part of the fae army is right now. We just saw the reports. It’s all over the news.” Phoenix’ voice sounds like it’s coming from far away and my head starts to spin, the world around me going sideways.
“They’ll find them! They’ll catch Rune and Finn. They’ll...” I stare at the map, trying to control the panic inside. I want to do something. Tell them to come back right now.
I knew this was a bad idea, I should never have let them go. I turn around, trying to find my phone somewhere, but Phoenix grabs my arm, her grip so tight it hurts. I twist around, ready to tell her off, but her gaze is dark.
“It’s not them they’re after. The army is coming here. We’d been hoping that they were just moving some soldiers to a base closer to the border, but they passed the last base a few hours ago. They’re on their way here. To us. Rune and Finn knew the risk they were taking, they knew the soldiers could be heading this way. They’ll be safe as long as they keep looking ahead of them. It’s just the three of them, they’ll be able to stay out of the way of the soldiers.” Her eyes almost seem to glow as she stares at me. “But we need to leave, right now.”
I stare at her. “No. No way. It’s too soon.” This can’t... Not tonight. Not now.
“We have to leave. Take everything we can, but don’t pack too much, we can’t take too long.” Bane is standing next to me, his voice low. “And then we have to burn anything we can’t take. We have to burn any trace of us and of what we’ve been doing here.”
“No.” I look around the kitchen. Burn all of this down? The books in the living room. Everything his family has collected over the ages. Books that you won’t be able to find anywhere else. All of it will be gone. Decades of knowledge will disappear, just like that. “You can’t do that.”
“We have to.” Phoenix’ voice is strong. “We can’t take everything, if we try, they’ll find us here. We have to destroy it all. We can’t allow them to get their hands on what’s in here, what we’ve been working on.”
I stare at them for long moments, trying to let it sink in what they’re telling me. They’re right. If we can’t take it, the fae army can’t have it either...
“Okay.” My voice feels strange, like it’s not fully mine, and an odd calm settles over me. “Okay. Grab everything we need. We go the campus, now.”
I can’t protect this lovely cottage we’ve been staying in, but there are more important things than this place, these walls, this roof, more important things like our lives. A library can be rebuilt or remade, but we can’t protect anyone, defeat anyone, if we’re killed here.
Chapter 12 - Bane
First watching Rune and Finn walk off, and now we have to pack up everything so we can leave this place ourselves. Definitely not how I expected tonight go, not at all, but it seems that life is pulling us along at a speed we can’t set ourselves.
I’ve video-called mum, told her to open the door at the academy, that we need to return, pronto. She didn’t fight me over it, it was almost like she was expecting my call, like she was expecting me to ask this.
At the same time, Litha and Phoenix have been waking the others up, packing things upstairs, and collecting everything we need to take back with us in the hallway.
Kit is in one of our research rooms, taking down the notes, stashing it in a bag. “We need this.” His voice wavers as he looks at me, like I’d be challenging what he’s doing here, when I had the exact same plan.
“Did you take pictures of everything?” I start on the other end of our timeline, taking everything down.
“Yeah, to make sure we put everything together as we had, if we need to.” He lets out a low growl as he accidentally rips a piece of paper. “Fuck. I’m shaking too much.” He holds out his hand to me and his fingers have turned into claws, which can’t make this any easier. He looks ready to burst out of his skin, like he’s barely holding onto his human form.
“I know, just keep going.” I try to keep my voice steady, but just knowing what’s coming our way isn’t making any of this any easier. There’s a whole group of soldiers m
arching this way, with the sole purpose of killing us, wiping us out, trying to prevent us from stopping them later, getting to us before we can get to them.
Knowing that people are coming your way, to kill you, and not knowing exactly how far away they are, isn’t a very comfortable feeling.
And Rune and Finn being out there... I just hope they’re not in the path of the soldiers, they shouldn’t be, but you never know. I hope the guys Topaz was talking about are waiting for them at the border and will be able to get them away from the army as quickly as possible, get them out of immediate danger. I wish I could tell them what’s going on here, but I can’t call them, and I can’t contact them, for their safety.
Of course, this would happen tonight... The night everything is already messed up and when we can’t contact Rune and Finn, make sure they’re okay. I may not have a strong ‘hoard’ instinct like Rune has with his dragon, but it still feels wrong not to be able to contact the people who belong with me, my pack...
I close my heavy bag, looking around at the bare walls. “What else?”
“Everything in the living room?” Kit doesn’t look too well, even when he’s trying to flash me a smile, his eyes keep turning into his monster form’s eyes, his hands moving between fingers and claws.
“I wish.” I turn to the door when I hear sounds from the room with the doorway to the campus, right before someone throws open the door to the cottage.
“Bane?” It’s Mum! She broke the protocol, she can’t keep both sides open at the same time! That’s not safe.
I rush for the door, looking into the hallway. “Here.”
She rushes over, wrapping her arms around me, letting out a tense breath. “Good. So glad you’re safe. Where are the others?” She glances into the room. “Hi, Kit.”
“Hi.” I hear him behind me, answering her awkwardly, before I realise he’s stark naked. He just jumped out of bed and started doing this instead of getting dressed... Ah, yeah.
“The others are upstairs and in the living room.” I step back, looking at her. “I’m sorry about this. I’m sorry that we’ll have to destroy this place. It’s got—”
She quiets me with her stern gaze. “Don’t apologise. It’s more important that you all survive, that we all survive this. Don’t worry about anything else. Anything else can be rebuilt.” She looks to the bags and boxes at the side of the hallway. “This is what you want to take with you?”
I nod. “They’re just... The most important things. I’m sorry if it’s...”
“Good. Let’s get them to the door, then.” She grabs a box and walks into the room, to the door.
There, Dad is already waiting for us. “Hi.” He looks exhausted, much more tired than I expected him to be. “I heard it’s time to move again?”
“Yeah.” I hand him the box, before turning to grab another box from the hallway.
“I’m sorry this is all such a mess.” His voice is low and I’m not sure how to answer him, if I can even answer him.
I have no idea what I feel anymore, how I’m supposed to feel anymore, it’s all so messed up. It’s all such a mess in my head.
I feel shredded to pieces, and I suspect that this is just the start of it all. It’s only going to get worse from here.
* * *
I swallow hard as Mum lights the last bit of the fire behind us. We’ve set different parts of the house aflame as we did one last inspection of the place. It turns out that the house was built specifically to be burned to the ground if it needed to be, in case of danger. Then, Mum closes the door, locking it, and Litha’s mum sets a controlled fire to the door on this end. With no door here to come to, they can’t use this location, even if the door on the other side miraculously survived the fire.
Looking around the exhausted faces, I try to take a breath, but I still feel like I’m just inhaling smoke. Everything is raw, painful.
Dad moves, holding the door to the rest of the building open. “Let’s get you to somewhere a little more comfortable.” I reach down to grab a box, but he shakes his head. “We’ll get someone else to move those. You just go somewhere to wind down for now. I think you’ve been through enough today.”
I nod, taking Litha’s hand, and then follow him down the hallway. As I look out the windows, the campus is really quiet, scarily quiet, but I can see the flicker of magic at some places, on the walls, near the doors of buildings. “Dad... What’s been going on here?” This doesn’t look like the campus we left behind, even if the buildings and everything look exactly the same, it feels different, very different.
He stops for a moment, glancing back at me, before he starts walking again. “We’ve been having our own concerns with things going on. All the students have left now, gone home or moved to a safe location. The campus is now more of an army base.” He keeps walking like he’s not just dumped a bomb of information on us. Army base? Fucking hell...
We’re walking from one problem right into another. But I don’t say anything else, I just wrap my arm around Litha and keep walking. My brain is all fried, the information only slowly sinking in, in bits and pieces.
When we reach the building where the staff normally lives, there are soldiers at the doors. They don’t look very happy with our little group of people, but when Dad glares at them, they open the doors anyway, not asking any more questions.
In the hallway, Dad turns to us. “I got you all one of the hallways down here. The professors have either left or are staying elsewhere on the grounds, so it’ll be just you all. It’s only some bedrooms with a couple of living areas and a kitchen. We’ll get your boxes and bags to you as quickly as possible.”
“What do you expect us to do now?” I stare at him, not believing he’s really just acting like we’re little children who will listen to his every command. “Go have a nice sleep? Not now. Not when...” I try to explain what’s going on in my head, but can’t find the words.
But he shakes his head, his eyes dark. “No. I don’t expect any of that.” He takes a deep breath. “There will be food in the kitchen, some clean clothes from your old house and the ability to take a shower. I don’t expect you to be able to sleep, I just ask that you rest for a moment, collect your thoughts. But if you want us, or if you need to know anything, I’ll be right here. We’ll be right here.”
I open my mouth to ask him more, but Litha starts pulling me to the door that Dad pointed at. “Coffee. I require coffee. I’m not caffeinated enough.” Her voice is soft and I almost smile as I follow her, watching her almost kid-like enthusiasm at the prospect of coffee. I guess we can do that first. Maybe some caffeine will help clear my head, drive this weird blob from my brain, this goopy mess.
As we walk into the hallway, it’s still full of stuff from other people and I’m suddenly sick to my stomach, stopping as I wrap my arms around my waist. This doesn’t look like a home, a place where people live, where people relax, this looks like the mauled corpse of a house, deserted by a group of people in a wave of terror, taking only what they need and leaving everything else behind. And it’s exactly that. This looks very similar to what the cottage looked like, before we set fire to it.
This is real.
I stare around, at the shelves with rows of books with holes where more books should have been, the doors left open and the beds still rumpled but otherwise ice-cold, the closets are thrown open and abandoned clothes spilling from them, like guts ripped out of the body of a home.
This is how it starts. This is how it all starts.
Chapter 13 - Kit
I’m making coffee as Litha’s parents are taking the bags and boxes inside, which the guards have been bringing over for us. Litha is sitting at the window, staring outside over the empty lawns leading up to the wall around the campus, staring like she’s not seeing anything, lost in her mind. Bane is stalking through the kitchen, glancing at the hallway like he’s scared of something in there, like he’s fearing whatever’s in there. When we came inside, he seemed... He seemed to not feel
very well, seemed sick from something, and he’s not spoken a word since, just staring and walking, staring and walking, over and over.
Aideen comes over, lining up a row of mugs, putting sugar and milk and things in most of them. Her hands are steady, but I still see the tension in every jerky movement. I can’t imagine how scared she must be. Rune and Finn are out there with her brother. She could lose everyone she loves in a single go.
“Aideen...” I start, reaching out to her, but she yanks her hands back and shakes her head, her eyes cold for being a fire-dragon.
“No. I can’t talk. I just need to...” She moves her hands and steps away, her voice strangled, constantly glancing away from me, for everyone one of us.
I nod, not pushing her. She needs to keep moving, I can understand that.
“Kit!” A clear voice bounces down the hallway and I still. What’s my cousin doing here?
Turning around, I stare at the doorway, just as she bursts through it. “Aura? Where’s your mum? Why are you here? You shouldn’t be—” I step to her, taking her arm, and am flooded with her worry and her pain, making me gasp. Fuck. So not prepared for that.
“I’m so happy to see you’re safe.” She wraps her arms around me and I realise with a shock that she’s no longer the little girl I always think her to be, she’s only a year younger than me, which I tend to forget because she always attends schools back home instead of the schools I go to, and she’s nearly as tall as I am now. “Your mum and dad are in a...” She shakes her head as she steps back, her eyes filling with tears. “I can’t believe...”
“Aura.” I stop her rambling. “What happened after we left?” Behind me, I can almost hear Litha, Phoenix and Bane hold their breaths, no longer moving, all listening to what Aura has to say. “What’s going on?”
She cast her eyes down, but then takes a deep breath. “The fae soldiers are on their way here. We’ve known for days, but they wouldn’t let me tell you. They wouldn’t let me disturb you, so you wouldn’t get all panicked.” Then she glances around, starting to frown. “Where are Rune and that fae guy?” She steps back to look in the hallway. “Where are they?” Her voice is taking on a fearful edge which starts pulling on my own fears, so I try to stop her as quickly as possible.