So her father probably didn’t even know that Eleni blamed herself. That her guilt had been eating her from the inside.
She was kinder and more courageous than Matteo had ever thought. When she saved that woman, Eleni not only fought the natural fear of the waves but her own demons, too. All that, to rescue a stranger.
Matteo rubbed his chin. “Maybe you should try and ask your father one day. I’m sure he would tell you what I just did. You had nothing to do with your mother’s fate. Accidents happen. You’ve been feeling guilty for nothing.”
Eleni chewed on her lips, and her eyes became moist. She wiped them with her hand.
Matteo pulled her closer, and she pressed her head against his chest. Sobs erupted from her throat, shaking her entire body. He put a hand on the small of her back. He didn’t move or say a word.
Thanks to Bianca, Matteo had learned to suppress his basic instinct of giving practical advice. Eleni needed to let out her feelings. Bianca was just like that. There was nothing Matteo could have said in that moment that would have helped Eleni.
So they just stood there, Eleni crying and Matteo holding her.
After a few minutes, Eleni’s sobs turned to sniffs. Matteo reached out with one hand to his bag and grabbed a pack of tissues. He pulled one out and pressed it gently to Eleni’s cheek.
Eleni took the tissue from him. She straightened up then blew her nose loudly.
The sound of a tiny elephant. He stifled a smile. Everything about Eleni was so elegant and gracious, except her way of blowing her nose.
Eleni blinked at him. Her eyes were still red, but she looked calmer. “I’m sorry for this.” She pointed to her face.
Matteo didn’t want her to feel sorry. He wanted her to feel protected. To feel understood. “Don’t feel sorry. I think it was time you let this baggage drop, don’t you?”
A faint smile tugged at her lips. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” She reached up to smooth down her hair. “So you served on boats? That’s why you know them so well?”
Matteo shook his head. “Not really. This is my first real job in the diving scene. I have all the papers, only I haven’t done any actual work with them. Before, it was more of a hobby. Diving and free diving, I mean.”
Eleni’s eyes widened. “Wow, for a first job, you seem to have done quite well for yourself.”
Yes, but it was a means to an end. Not the final goal. He had to become his own master. If only he could find the Pearl.
Matteo shrugged. “I guess I did. I’ve been diving my whole life.” He pointed at the ocean. “This is where I feel myself, in the water. But as long as I lived at home, I had to help out with my father’s business.”
“What does he do?”
“He runs a private investigating firm. But now, my cousin has taken over my place.”
Eleni cocked her head to the side. “I bet your parents must be proud of you for following your dreams.”
A lump formed in Matteo’s throat. His father was probably proud. Or at least accepting. His mother? Who knew what she was up to?
He scratched his head. “My dad was a bit reluctant to let me go at first, but now he’s on board with my plans. My mother? I couldn’t say. She left us when I was eleven. I haven’t heard from her since.”
Eleni clapped her hand over her mouth. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t know. It must have been hard.”
Matteo pressed his lips together. Yes, it was. Very hard. But he had come out of it stronger. “There are many ways to lose a mother. Mine wasn’t the worst. It served me as a life lesson.”
He knew what was important in life. His dreams, his family, and his friends. Probably in that order, too. Relationships were just pastimes, but they couldn’t become the cornerstone of his existence. Women couldn’t be trusted unless they were related to him.
No matter how hard Bianca tried to convince him of the contrary.
Eleni reached out with a tentative hand to caress his cheek. “It must have been tough. I get it. Growing up without a mother, no matter what the reason, isn’t right for a child.”
As her fingers brushed his face, his stomach knotted. Suddenly he wasn’t so sure whether his beliefs applied to all women.
No, of course they did. They had to. Even to such a special creature as Eleni. She would also disappoint him if he gave her the chance. Just like his mother did with his father.
He stepped back from Eleni and glanced at the water. “So what do you say? Do you want to try and take a small dip with me? I have to check the underwater conditions and it’s getting late.”
Eleni’s eyes darted to the ocean, then back to Matteo’s face. She chewed on her lower lip for a second, but then shook her head. “I think this time I’ll just watch from up here. But—” Her lips curved up. “Maybe next time, I’ll come and swim with you.”
Matteo’s heart started to dance with a violent rhythm. Next time he would take her exploring the blue. He could show her that the depth of the ocean was a marvelous and safe place, if one respected it enough.
His eyes wandered to Eleni’s rosy cheeks, then dipped to her lips. How would they taste?
Matteo shifted his weight. His chest was burning, and the heat diffused to his limbs at the speed of light. Had the sun been burning this strongly a minute ago?
Eleni’s mouth opened slightly and her pupils dilated. Was she thinking the same thing? How would she react if he kissed her?
Their gazes locked, and it seemed that an invisible thread extended between them, pulling him closer and closer to her. He inched forward, almost in a trance. Soon he could feel Eleni’s breath on his lips.
A seagull squawked overhead. Eleni shuddered and looked up.
She took a step back and cleared her throat. “So, are you going to jump in or what? Do I have to push you?”
Matteo needed a second to gather his wits. He had almost kissed her. How could he let his desires whirl out of control?
He blinked at Eleni and plastered on a smile. “No way would I let my assistant throw me overboard. I’ll jump.”
He adjusted his goggles and sprang into the waves. The lukewarm water felt almost icy on his heated body. He took a breath and submerged.
He turned with his head toward the bottom of the ocean and started to swim. With each stroke, his thoughts became a little clearer. Maybe it had been the sun’s fault after all. It had messed with his feelings.
He just needed some time under the surface to reorder his priorities. Eleni was a special person, but he wasn’t going to get involved with her. No matter how his body ached to touch her.
He swam up for air, feeling more confident. As he popped his head out the water, his eyes fell on Eleni’s face.
She was leaning out of the boat, scanning the water. Her bun was loose, and a few curls surrounded her face like a golden halo.
His heart skipped a beat, and his body sizzled. Oh, no. So much for priorities.
“Do you need anything?” Eleni asked.
“No. I’m good. I’ll swim around to check the nearest tunnels. Will you wait for me here?”
“Of course.” Eleni beamed. “Where would I go? Take your time.”
Matteo immersed himself again and began to paddle deeper and deeper. As he reached the fifteen meters mark, he straightened his arms and legs. He let his body be pulled toward the bottom. Once he arrived, he grabbed a rock and closed his eyes.
The loud thumping in his chest didn’t want to subside. The ocean had been his safe place. But now Eleni’s smile seemed to have infiltrated even this. It would be tougher than he thought to keep his blossoming emotions at bay. But he would manage to do it. He had to.
Chapter 16
Eleni’s head was spinning. She pressed her palms against her temples. Could Matteo be right? Had she lived most of her life based on a lie?
Maybe her mother’s death wasn’t her fault after all. It was both a liberating and a burdening idea. The sense of guilt had grown on her. It was like a blanket with which she had covered her
wounds in the past. It wasn’t a surprise if something bad happened to her. Like Connor. She somehow deserved it.
But what should she believe now?
The boat danced left and right with a slow rhythm. Her eyes drifted over the waves. Matteo’s body came up to the surface.
A warm feeling spread in Eleni’s chest. Matteo had been such a great listener. He didn’t judge her at all. Somehow, it had been easier to talk and confess her pain to him than to her best friend, Laura. Why?
Matteo moved in the water like he belonged there. Like it was his real home. The moment before he jumped in flashed through Eleni’s mind. Her stomach grew rigid. Yes, she had almost kissed him. If it hadn’t been for that bird, she couldn’t have resisted. Her blood still boiled with the yearning. Did he want it, too?
Matteo popped up out of the water beside the boat. “It’s all done. We can head back now.”
Eleni glanced at her watch. It was a little after four. Oh goodness, had they been here all day? Where did the time go?
“Did you find everything you were looking for?” she asked.
Matteo’s smile faded. “Not really, but at least the site is safe for the dive.”
Eleni’s eyebrows shot up. What did he mean? Before she had a chance to ask, Matteo had already gotten himself up to the boat.
His wet muscles glistened in the sun. Eleni’s throat swelled. Maybe she should have taken a cold bath, after all. She bent to arrange the straps on her sandals.
When she looked up, Matteo had dried himself. He’d put on his shorts and a white T-shirt. Unfortunately, he still looked great. But at least he wasn’t bare-chested. It helped somewhat.
Matteo started the engine. “Ready to go?”
“Yes, captain,” she said in a voice she hoped sounded cheerful instead of throaty.
The journey back took over an hour because of the afternoon wind. Once they got to the Blue Lagoon, they dragged the boat to shore and secured it with the ropes in its parking position.
The dive center was empty.
Matteo scratched his head as he looked around the office. “Where’s Hugo? He should be drawing up the paperwork for tonight’s dive. I need to leave with the guests in two hours, before it gets entirely dark.”
Eleni walked to the desk. “I can do it for you while you prepare your stuff.”
She glanced at the disarray of documents, looking for a clean sheet. She noticed a handwritten note.
She picked it up and carried it to Matteo. “Look, it’s from Hugo.”
Matteo was emptying his bag. “Could you read it please? My hands are still wet.”
Eleni nodded.“Sure. ‘Hi, boss. The Taylors decided to postpone the dive. They called after you left. There is a party tonight at the Bliss that they didn’t want to miss. You’ve got a free night. I’ve taken Fluff over to my place, so you don’t have to take him for a walk either. Enjoy, and see you tomorrow.’”
She lowered the piece of paper and glanced at Matteo. Was he going to be upset that he’d done the site-check in vain?
Matteo rubbed his neck. “Ah, the Taylors. Always so unreliable with their appointments. Well, no problem. A free night suits me just fine.”
He walked to the tiny kitchen and opened the fridge. “Do you want a cold drink? Water? Beer?”
Eleni shifted her weight. She should be going if there was nothing else to be done in the office. But her throat was parched. A cold drink sounded divine.
“Water would be lovely. Do you have a lemon, by any chance? I’d love to put some drops in it.”
Her cheeks became hot. Why did she have to start with special requests?
Matteo fetched out a lemon and held it up to her. “My fridge is quite well furbished. I hate to eat at the staff canteen. I don’t find their food very appetizing.”
The fried fish and dubious yellow mess that the cook had tried to sell as mashed potatoes the day before came to mind. Yes, the culinary specialties the staff members were served didn’t resemble the standards of a five star hotel.
“I see what you mean. But what do you do instead? Do you cook for yourself? Can you even cook?”
Matteo cut the lemon. “Sure I can. Not very well, but good enough. And a good-enough half-Italian standard is probably still pretty high on the average American scale.”
Oh, right. She had almost forgotten about that. Matteo’s family came from Italy. The idea of a yummy pizza or a delicious pasta made Eleni’s mouth water. Her stomach growled.
Matteo smiled. “Are you hungry? We didn’t eat anything on the boat.”
Yes, and Eleni had skipped breakfast. She didn’t want to be late for work, but she couldn’t disappoint Cath. Her roommate had been so enthusiastic about their morning yoga classes together. So the only option was to use the eating time for other things. Like taking a shower.
She tugged on her earlobe. “Yes, I’m getting a bit hungry, but I’m used to it. At the dance school I had to get by with just a pack of crackers the whole day. There wasn’t much tolerance for a long, hearty lunch.”
As the image of the large dance hall appeared in her mind, her throat dried out. She shoved the memory aside. This was her life now.
Matteo handed her the glass with small slices of lemon in it.
She took a sip. The cool water was a relief for her throat.
Leaning on the kitchen counter, he studied her face. “Do you miss your dancing career?”
Eleni swallowed. So much for keeping the memory suppressed. “Yes, I do. I love dancing. For me, it’s probably like swimming is for you.”
His eyebrows drew together. “Why did you come here then? Even if you thought you were going to teach some rich folks’ kids dancing, it’s still not the same as a dance school.”
Eleni’s heart dropped. How could she explain it to him? It hadn’t really been a choice. If you break up with your manager, who also happens to be the dance school director’s son, in a publicly humiliating fashion, you have no choice but to flee.
“Let’s just say it was a very motivated decision. Leaving everything behind seemed like a good option at the time.”
Matteo’s eyes had an unreadable expression. “And does it still? Do you regret having come here? Working…with me?”
No! The answer was there in Eleni’s heart before she realized she had to reply. Where did it come from? Something in the very essence of her body, deep down in her bones, knew it hadn’t been a mistake. Not when she had met Matteo.
Oh boy, this wasn’t good. Was she falling for her boss again? What was wrong with her?
She folded her arms around her chest. “No, I don’t think it was. Of course, I still hope that someday I can pick up dancing again. But for now, I’m learning so much here. About stuff, but also about myself.” She lowered her eyes.
Matteo’s face relaxed and he smiled at her. “Great. I was afraid that the job in the dive center is even worse than the one in the Bliss.”
“Are you kidding? Not at all. I enjoy it. And after today—”
She stopped. How should she put it without giving away how much the day had meant to her?
Matteo stepped closer to her. “Yes?”
Eleni shook her head. “You’ve helped me, Matteo. I’ve been carrying a burden all my life. It’s not off my shoulders just yet, but I’ve seen a way I can start to put it down. That’s huge progress for someone like me. Today alone made it worth coming to this island.”
Matteo’s Adam’s apple twitched, and he clenched his jaw. “I’m glad, Eleni.”
Their eyes locked and time slowed around them.
Matteo’s phone rang.
He broke their eye contact and fetched the vibrating device from his bag. “Bianca, my sister.”
He hit the red button, and the ringing stopped. He turned back to Eleni.
“You can answer her if you want. I need to go, anyway,” she murmured.
“No, that’s fine. If it’s important, she’ll call back. Please stay.” His voice was soft, more than usual.<
br />
Eleni fiddled with her watch. What should she do?
In that moment, the phone chimed again.
Matteo held up his finger to indicate she should wait then lifted his phone in front of his face.
He hit reply. “Bianca, I’m in the middle of something. Couldn’t we please—“ His voice was interrupted by the energetic chatter of a young woman. From the angle where Eleni stood, she couldn’t see the screen well. Only dark strands and a bright smile.
“Mattie, you forgot, didn’t you? It’s Thursday. Family call time. I’ve gathered everyone to greet you. Even Concetta is here. So don’t you give me the I-have-to-work card. You have no excuse. None. Unless, of course, you’re with a girl and then…” Bianca’s voice trailed off.
Matteo’s cheeks became crimson.
His sister squeaked, “I can’t believe it! You’re with a girl. Good for you. Then I guess I’ll just—”
Matteo shook his head. “Stop it, Bianca, it’s not what you think. I’m with my assistant. We just came back from a dive, and we’re chatting. Yes, she happens to be a woman but that’s it. Stop being inappropriate.”
Eleni’s heart dropped. His assistant? That’s it? Of course that’s what she was. The dive manager’s assistant. Why did the way he described her to his sister bother her so much?
It was because she wanted to mean more. How pathetic. She was really starting to like Matteo. She drew her hand to her chest and pressed her palm against the loud beating. Hopefully, he didn’t notice how his words affected her.
There was silence on the other end of the phone.
“Fine,” Bianca said. “If you’re telling the truth, then let me see your assistant. I want to say hi to her.”
Matteo gritted his teeth. His eyes darted to Eleni’s face and his eyebrows shot up. “Eleni, may I? My sister is being impossible. I’m sorry.”
Eleni brushed her fingers through her hair with both hands. Was her bun still in a decent enough shape? She felt a few strands curl around her face and a longish one was loose on her nape. It was fine. She shouldn’t care what first impression she gave Bianca. She was only the assistant, after all.
Loving The Boss (Gems 0f Love Book 1) Page 9