I mouth his name, as if he could hear me, and then the room goes dark again.
* * *
My throat is killing me.
My mouth is propped open and there is something shoved down my throat, preventing me from talking. I feel like whatever is in my throat is helping me, though I can’t be sure. The rest of my body still feels like pins and needles and moments of being in an ice block to a heating furnace.
I hit the switch again, try to look to my side to make sure that Levi is still there.
Where is he?
I see more tubes to my side and can only hope that is him.
The nurse comes to my side and stands over me.
“Hey lady, how are we feeling today?”
With my eyes, I move from her to the side several times. She says nothing at first and then she figures it out.
“Oh, Mr. James! He’s here, he’s doing better than he was yesterday. I think that if you guys are on the same track, that you’ll be where is today.” She moves over to his side and fiddles with something that I can’t see, then returns back to me. “And you, you’re doing better. We’ve got you on a ventilator, and your body temperature is now in control. You’ve been in here for about a week, and it seems that you experience what Mr. James does roughly twenty-four hours later.”
A knock sounds on the door and she excuses herself and the room fades to black again.
24
Levi
“Well, Mr. James, it would appear that you are out of the dark. The worst is over, and your symptoms aren’t getting worse, but will be getting better with time.” The nurse tells me.
I cough, rub my throat and take a quick sip of the water provided to me.
“And the vaccine?” I manage to ask, each syllable piercing my throat with a scratching pain.
“It looks like this one has a positive effect on you,” she says with a smile.
I crane my head to Kendall’s bed, “And her?” I ask.
“She’s coming along as well. If the pattern is consistent, she should be out of the woods within a few days.”
“Days?” I whisper in confusion.
“Ah yes. So, the timeline, you went into isolation two weeks ago. Three days later, you were in here with worsening signs and trouble breathing. You were in and out of consciousness for about two days, then we intubated you…” her voice trails off as she skims the page, “and you woke up twice, your symptoms stayed relatively level until two nights ago, when your body temperature dropped significantly. Then, last night you were back to normal, and we tried to pull out all the breathing apparatuses, and well how are you feeling?” She poises her pen asking.
“I feel like I’ve been run over a few times.” I press my fingers against my throat. “This feels like I’m swallowing glass, and even my fingertips are in pain.”
“You’re going to slowly begin to feel better, but you can’t put added pressure on yourself. You’re not out of the clear yet, you are however, the first person with the virus here to have come out of the symptoms so quickly. We are not sure what the next steps would be, as we’re basically learning everything off of you.” She says, scribbling on her pad.
“Have there been any additional people admitted since we’ve been here?” I ask slowly.
“We’ve had seven, two of which are in here now, on the new vaccine and the other five are still in isolation, also on the vaccine. We’re hoping that you and your lady over there aren’t the only special ones to come out of this quickly, so we’re not taking any chances.”
“Anyone who contracts the virus, is immediately placed on the trial vaccine? What about everyone else?” I ask.
“We don’t have enough yet to distribute to everyone.”
“But they are coming, right?”
“Yes. I read here in your file that you have a medical background and have been helping the doctor with a lot of the tests and intakes, is that correct?” She asks as I nod.
“What does that have to do with anything?” I ask.
“Just trying to find the localized space of transmission,” she answers.
Beeping happens from across the room and I turn my head quickly, which puts my mind in a tailspin.
The nurse stands and rushes over to the side where someone is shaking. They’re intubated as well and I’m not sure who they are from this angle. I want to stand and move over to Kendall’s bedside, but I’m not even sure I can maneuver my arms the way that I need to. I don’t attempt, and I watch the nurse from a distance instead, feeling helpless.
Another person in scrubs that I wasn’t aware was around, comes from a door that must only lead to the outside and he rushes to aid her. Moments later, the beeping is gone, and the new person turns around with a deep breath, his hands on his hips and his head hanging.
“Hey, looks who’s awake!” he says when he lifts his head. “How are you feeling?
* * *
I sat by Kendall’s bedside for hours, until I was so exhausted that I passed out in the wheelchair. When I wake up in the morning, I’m back in bed. I feel no better than I did yesterday, but I’m hopeful that soon, I will begin to feel like my old self.
I look to Kendall and see the sweat dropping down the side of her face, the bed is drenched as well.
Was this how I was? She said my temperature dropped, didn’t she?
My eyes are heavy and I’m about to sit up, but the monitor beside Kendall begins to blare. My eyes bulge out of their sockets as panic engulfs me.
“Nurse! Nurse!” I yell as loud as I can, despite the absolute paid that pulses down my throat.
Three people in scrubs rush over to Kendall’s side.
“No, no, no. How the hell is this happening? She was doing so good. What the hell happened?” A male voice asks.
“Shhh, let’s just get this resolved. Hand me a new ventilator, this one is busted,” someone else asks.
“Fuck.” Is the last thing that I hear, before I pass out from too much adrenaline pulsing through my body at the worry.
25
Levi
“Sir, I demand to know how is it that I’m on the mend and she isn’t? I was brought back out here and she’s still in the quarantined space. Why am I not there with her?” I ask the doctor.
I’ve been moved out of the quarantine room and despite my arguing, they won’t allow me back into the space.
It’s been two more days since I’ve come out of this, and while I’ve gotten better—Kendall hasn’t and I’m not sure this is something that I can deal with. I can’t take care of myself when I’m worried about her.
I— I—I love her.
I do. I love her, and I cannot lose her.
The realization hits and my need for her only increases.
“I know she’s important to you, kid. But, I’ll say it again, I need you to take care of yourself. That’s the best thing that you can do for Ms. Jameson, that way, when she comes out of this, you can be her rock and take care of her.”
“Doc, you sound so sentimental.” I laugh. “But seriously, what is happening? They won’t tell me anything!”
“Sometimes, people react differently to vaccines. For instance, when you get the flu shot, some people have a reaction and some do not. In this instance, her body is still trying to fight off the good that the vaccine is trying to do and hold on to keeping her sick.”
“You’re talking as if the virus is a person,” I say.
“Mr. James, you know that the virus is an invisible bad guy who has no control over what it touches. You’ve done excellent with your recovery and we’re thankful that you’ve proved to be the first person to have had luck. Other patients have had some similar positive reactions, and some have had no response what-so-ever. But we need to be sure that you are taking care of yourself. Kendall will need that, she will need you to be all of you. She will need your strength and positivity for when she comes out of this.”
“James!” A loud voice booms across the space.
I turn and
see that the Colonel is standing roughly twenty feet away, a far enough distance to consider as safe.
I stand up slowly and latch my hand onto my IV pole to face him.
“Sir?” I acknowledge.
“Care to fill me in?” He commands.
“Well, what are you looking to be filled in on sir? I’ve been out of commission for—” I look over to the doctor for the answer and he flashes me his fingers. “I’ve been out of commission for a few weeks.”
“Exactly. I’m glad to see that you’re up and about, I think that’s a win on our side.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “Either way, I have news and it looks like we’ll be getting out of here. We’ve been granted access to the University of New Mexico has a holding site, there is a nearby hospital as well to aide with everything. The medical program will also be of assistance, so we can have round the clock care. All individuals who are in this store have been granted this access and we will be moving at daybreak.” He smiles proudly as if it was all his idea.
26
Levi
The move from the giant store to a giant tent close to the hospital on the UNM campus was a smooth process. The place is equipped and I’m happy to see that there’s not too many people hanging around. Everyone who was in the store came to the new location for a two-week quarantine and also have been put on the new trial.
So far, there’s only been six more people who have contracted the virus. There’s another group of people in this space with us, but I haven’t been briefed as to who they are and neither do I care at this moment.
Kendall hasn’t improved, but the good news is that her status hasn’t declined. I haven’t left her side and don’t plan to until she opens her eyes and smiles at me. Hell, I don’t even need a smile, I just need her to open her eyes.
While it took me two or so weeks to get past the worst of the virus, we’re coming up on almost four weeks, and I feel almost better. My body is lethargic at times, and I do cough a little more than I recall doing so, but overall, I’m better. The doctor still checks me daily and is continuously pleased with whatever he writes down once he’s done with me.
My unit and I are sitting around outside the medical tent for a meeting and I’m sitting about ten feet away from everyone. I’m trying to not cough, but it’s residual and I know that it’s freaking out some of the guys.
“We will remain here at UNM for the time being, consider it as a fourteen-day quarantine. Everyone here as taken the latest trial vaccine, but if anyone begins to feel any symptoms, you are to report them immediately. Sergeant First Class James, can you please come up and discuss the virus and your experience?” the Colonel asks.
I slowly stand and make my way to the front. I put my hands in my pockets and look at everyone.
“The virus is no joke. While I don’t remember any of my time while in quarantine, I’ve witnessed what it must have been like and can explain from that. One day, I was fine. The next morning, I was sweating balls—I mean I was sweating a lot. I had a high fever and was having issues with breathing. I wasn’t feeling myself, somewhat out of my body and dizzy at all times. What I have seen has been body temperature spiking through the roof and then dropping significantly, issues with breathing and having to be on a respirator because you’re not able to breathe on your own. But eventually, that vaccine that we were given, fights for you and you come out of it.”
“How does it feel?” Someone asks from the back.
“Painful. Like you’re crawling out of your skin, you’re not sure whether or not you are making movements, noises or anything, but you try. Think of it as having no control over your body and that you’re screaming for help, you’re clawing your way out and no one can see it, no one can hear it. You don’t win, but you suffer. You drown in yourself.”
“Levi! Levi! Where’s Levi?” I hear someone calling me and I look around, not seeing anyone until the shape of a woman comes up behind the chair that I was previously sitting. “Levi! Kendall!” she gasps from running around.
My eyes widen, and the worst of the worst comes into my mind. I say nothing to my unit or my superiors as I bolt in the direction of the medical tent. I run past beds, doctors and nurses and come to see Kendall, sitting up in her bed. With her eyes open. Wide open and looking directly at me.
27
Kendall
They removed the tube from my throat and sat me up slowly. My body feels numb, and I’m terrified to speak, knowing that my throat will burn from being intubated for however long.
But I did manage one word to the nurse after taking a small sip of water.
“Levi.”
It wasn’t long before, he is at my bedside, takes my hand and kisses it several times with tears in his eyes.
“Please don’t talk yet, it’s going to feel like shit,” he tells me.
“Can we just continue our work up on her, and make sure she’s okay?” the nurse asks from behind him.
Levi steps back, keeps a watchful eye on all the movements around my bed, and as soon as he’s given the clearance, is right back holding my hand and brushing my oily hair off of my forehead.
“Where?” I whisper.
“Well, let me see, we’re no longer in the store. We’re in a large tent that was set up at the University.”
“How long?” I ask as I point to the water.
“Almost a month. The vaccine took a little longer on you to work. I have been up and running now for almost two weeks. How do you feel?” He asks.
I move my hand up, slowly and move from side to side in the “so-so” motion.
“Like you got ran over by a truck?” He asks.
I nod slowly.
“I can’t tell you how happy I am that you are up. And I told myself, that as soon as you did, I wouldn’t hold back anything from you.”
What is he talking about? Did something happen during all this?
“Kendall, I love you. I freaking love you and I don’t care if we barely know one another or if we know one another in only one situation, but I fucking love you and I just needed you to know that.”
Tears fall from my eyes and I can feel my lips tremble. My hand clutches onto him and I pull him into me. Before my face hits his shoulder, I whisper the same words to him, and boy, it couldn’t be truer.
Epilogue
Kendall
“You’ve got to be kidding me! I can’t go outside of the house looking like this? Are you high or something?”
“I promised that I have not smoked today, and I think that you look absolutely stunning.” He smiles.
“Daddy, this dress is something straight out of the seventies, I mean come on, look at these shoulder pads, look at the sequins.”
“Your mother looked breath-taking in this dress if I remember correctly. She looked not so shabby with it on the floor too, if I remember right.”
“Ew, Dad, that’s just wrong.”
“Seriously, Mr. J., you cannot say things like that.” Janelle laughs walking in the room with my bouquet. “I think there’s something that I can do here, do you trust me?” my best friend asks.
“I think that’s the stupidest question that you’ve ever asked me.” I laugh.
“Alright Mr. J. I’m sorry for what I’m about to do, but Kendall is not a seventies chick, but a modern kick ass gal, who defiantly should be looking hot as sin on her wedding day.”
“Do what you need to do kiddo,” my dad waves her on as he leaves the bedroom.
Twenty minutes later, the dress is no longer as hideous, and Janelle worked her magic with making my mother’s wedding dress look like a whole new one.
I stand in the mirror and run my hands down the front, over sequins that no longer bother me. The dress is now strapless, and you wouldn’t even be able to see that minutes ago there was some damn scary looking shoulder pads.
I turn to face Janelle and smile. “Thank you.”
“Now, let’s go get you married.”
* * *
One year ago,
today, Levi and I sat in a hospital tent and said that we loved one another. During that time, I moved from Phoenix to New Mexico and also set my father up at a new complex here as well. So I can have everyone that I love close to me. While living in New Mexico was never one of my intentions, it’s where so much has happened to me, that I couldn’t overlook that maybe it was supposed to be where I ended up.
It took the nation, almost this entire time to regain stabilization, and as soon as it did, Levi and I made the promise that we would get married. So, here we are today, in the backyard of our home with twenty of our closest friends about to exchange our ‘I do’s’.
I should be nervous, but I’m anything but. I’m excited and happy to share this moment with our loved ones and thankful that Levi and I made it out of that rough patch and into a beautiful life that we share today.
I walk out of the back-patio doors and down the redwood stairs. My father stands at the bottom of that stairs and offers me his elbow.
“You sure about this? We can high-tail it out of here and no one would even know.”
“I think everyone would know.” I deadpan.
“Oh, that’s right, you’re the bride.” He nods as we turn the corner and come into sight.
My eyes meet Levi’s at the end of the aisle, dressed in his full uniform with the largest smile that I’ve ever seen. My dad squeezes my hand that’s wrapped through his.
I walk slowly toward him, and second by second the nerves that I was feeling dissipate and a surge of warmth moves through me.
IN THE END: A Quarantine Romance Page 8