by Kate Swain
She was so beautiful. Her hair caught in the wind, swaying loose around her shoulders as she moved. Her body was muscled, yet graceful. I could have watched her forever as she spun in place, toes extended, body straight.
“What?” she asked, grinning at me as she stepped out of the turn.
“Nothing,” I murmured. My throat was tight. I wished I had something to drink.
She lowered one eyebrow, a frown that suggested she thought I wasn’t quite sane. I blushed, wishing that I knew how to tell her she was beautiful.
“What do you think?” she asked. “Be honest, please.”
I tensed. I felt like there was definitely a right answer. I just had no idea what it might be. I looked around, then back at her face. She was waiting for me to say something. Her expression seemed neutral, but I had a feeling that I was on unsteady ground.
“Well,” I cleared my throat carefully. “I think the one dangerous point is the windows. They’re unbarred. And, as far as I know, there’s no surveillance cameras here?”
“There’s a camera,” she said hesitatingly. “On the front. And I don’t know if it’s functioning.”
I raised one eyebrow. “That doesn’t sound safe.”
“Oh, for pity’s sake!” she let out a harsh phrase. “It’s not that dangerous! And I’m not a kid.”
“I didn’t think you were,” I said softly.
She was an inch or two away, her cheeks flushed. Her eyes held mine in mute defiance.
“You did,” she said angrily. “You and Adam both think I’m a little girl, too weak to help myself. I’m not a child anymore.”
“I don’t think you’re a child.” I couldn’t help the fact that my voice shivered. I could see her clearly, her toned arms, her trim waist, her rounded breasts. She was anything but a child. She was all woman.
“No?” she paused her anger and I saw a flush in her cheek. Her eyes were no longer angry, but held a hint of longing. I almost stopped breathing.
“No,” I said.
“Good.”
Before I could stop myself, I bent over and cupped her face in my palm. My lips sought hers. I felt them part under my tongue. Tasting her, my body flared up with a longing that I’d been fighting too long to quell.
“Maddy,” I whispered as we drew apart, breathing heavily. “I don’t think you’re a little girl. Anything but.”
“Good,” she murmured. Her voice was low, eyes bright with longing. I felt my loins ache and I couldn’t control myself anymore.
We kissed and I buried my fingers in her hair.
She gasped and pressed against me, her arms tight around me, drawing me close. I felt my body start to dissolve, its place taken by a need so strong I thought I might faint. I leaned against her, my cock seeking her warmth, pressed so tight against her thigh that I winced with a pleasurable pain.
She rubbed herself against me, her breath making a sound that made my loins catch fire. I pushed up against her, my hands traveling down her spine. I found her hard ass and grabbed her cheeks with my hands. My desire for her exploded.
She had the hardest, sweetest butt I’d ever imagined.
Her lips on mine, I ran my hands under her top, feeling soft skin. My body was aching now, my hands slipping upwards, seeking her breasts with desperate longing. I cupped one, and felt a fire rush through my body.
She gasped, and I tensed, then relaxed as her hand pulled my head closer, making my lips push on hers even harder. I thrust my body into hers, loving the way her softness conformed to me.
She ran a hand down my back and under my shirt. I felt all resistance melt.
Kissing her again once more, I threw off my top with a single movement, aching to feel her cool skin against me. She stared at me and my loins heated up.
“That’s what you look like,” she whispered. Her lips grinned. “Not bad.”
I laughed. She started to move, as if she would undress herself, but I gently took the bottom-edge of her sweater and lifted it, inch by inch. By the time I had gotten it off, I was trembling.
She stood before me in her jeans and bra. I stared. Her body was pale, her skin like silk, gently reflecting the light. I stared at her breasts. Held in lace, they were full and round, begging to be kissed and sucked and held.
I went to her, my eyes holding hers, seeking permission. She smiled. I felt my whole body catch fire as I bent to take her breasts in my hands and then, carefully, to peel back the lacy fabric. I unfastened her bra and took a nipple in my kiss.
She gasped, my teeth finding her nipple. I worked it gently, loving how it tightened as I worked it with my tongue. She was making noises that aroused me, making me want her in a way I’d never imagined before. Feeling my control give way, I pushed her back against the wall.
“Maddy,” I whispered, moving up so that her body was against me, crushed to my chest, her nipples pushing on the skin of my chest, cold and exciting. I breathed the scent of her. And I bent and looked into her eyes. “Are you sure?”’
“Yes,” she murmured. “I am.”
Barely able to control myself, my hands undid the clasp of her jeans. I felt soft, bare skin under my fingertips and made myself breathe, trying to focus. Her jeans slid down her thighs and then to the floor. I was kneeling, looking up at her lace undies.
Gently I bit her through the fabric. Her eyes flew open. I could smell her scent. She moaned.
I worked the panties down her legs, then pushed my face into her wetness. I licked her and she arched her back. She groaned. She was sighing heavily and I pushed my finger into her, listening to her moan as her wetness welcomed me.
She was smooth and warm and I could smell the cinnamon scent of her. I stood up.
“Maddy,” I murmured. Her eyes were shut. I took my jeans off, then my underwear. She gasped as I rejoined her.
Her thighs were firm and her skin smooth. I could nearly not control myself as I lifted her and guided myself into her.
Warm rain, the scent of sand, the sound of water, warm and sweet, running over me. None of those things were as inviting, as damp, as sweet as being in her. I pulled out, breathing, and pushed in again. My mind was somewhere else, all I knew was her.
“Mark,” she murmured.
I shut my eyes and pushed into her, gasping. She was tight, and wet, and wonderful. It felt better than anything I could remember, anything I had felt. I pushed in again, feeling a climax building.
She made a slight noise in her throat, her arms wrapping me where we leaned against the wall. I pulled out and flew in. She was groaning as I pushed and withdrew, pushing a little deeper each time, losing myself in the feelings. Being inside her was better than the most wonderful imaginings I had of it.
I grunted, my body reaching a place that I had never been before. Her body was shaking and she tightened around my cock.
We gasped as we came, but my body continued thrusting into hers with force, pouring me into her. It felt bigger and more powerful than any orgasm I had ever had. I thrust in again, and again one more time deeply.
My breath almost stopped and, in that moment, buried in her, I could have died without fear or regret.
I leaned against her, throbbing and sighing.
“Maddy,” I whispered into her ear.
“Mark,” she said.
Her eyes held mine and we kissed passionately.
It took a few seconds before my brain came back from the place it visited. I blinked, aware suddenly of the biting cold.
“Maddy,” I whispered, unclasping my arms from where they wrapped her tightly. “It’s cold.”
“What?” she looked up at me, seeming dazed. My heart filled with love for her and I kissed her.
“Sorry, sweetheart,” I whispered. “It’s cold.”
“It is.”
She seemed to become aware, suddenly, of the surroundings. As she bent to pick up her panties, she smiled up at me. I realized that I had used a term of endearment I’d never used before.
“Sweetheart,�
� she said softly. It was a word for me, too, now. Her panties in her hand, she walked over and put a kiss on my chest.
I sighed and held her close, feeling a desire to have her again even though I’d tired myself out. My mind was working again, and I realized how unsafe it was here, how public and exposed we could be. We were unsure about the security here, and if a guard came in to check up, we’d be embarrassed for sure.
“Come on,” I said gently. “We should go.”
“Yes,” she murmured.
I watched, dazed, as she bent to collect her clothes, trapped in the flow of her graceful body.
“Well?” she asked softly, as she stepped into her jeans. I felt sorrow as her clothes obscured her curves. I loved seeing her body. She started to fasten her bra, and my brain, watching her, slowly registered her word.
“What?” I asked gently.
“Well,” she smiled, pulling on her sweater, hiding those fabulous breasts. I was still naked despite all my talk about being caught in here. I looked around for my clothes. She watched me, smiling. “What do you think about the studio?”
I shrugged. I stepped into my jeans. “The neighborhood is still questionable. But the building can be made safer.”
“Really?” she adjusted her sweater in the mirror, frowning critically.
“Well,” I conceded, buttoning my shirt. “I think the building needs a functioning alarm. And a panic button. I could set it up. If you want.” I watched her face, hoping she wasn’t upset.
“Sure,” she smiled. “I’d love that.”
“You would?” I felt a little dazed. In the space of a morning, my world had changed. I had woken up a little hungover in our work apartment, then saw Maddy who I longed for, now after a short trip her future dance studio, I would soon leave with my dream fulfilled.
Nothing had ever been as good as that was.
I followed her to the door and we locked it behind us.
“If you could start work on Monday?” she asked, looking up at me. “I want to sign the lease tomorrow early.”
“Sure thing, I can start after work Monday evening,” I said softly.
“Thank you,” she said. Before I knew what I was doing, I drew her against me. My body pressed to hers as my lips clung on her skin, finding her cheek, her nose, her mouth.
Giggling, she brushed her hair back from her face, looking up at me. Her skin was reddened, her eyes bright. “Mark,” she said softly.
I loved to hear my name on her lips. My body responded eagerly. “Maddy,” I said. I wanted her again, with a longing that was almost overwhelming, and wasn’t just of the body. It felt like, if she walked away, a hole would open in my heart, leaving me without this wonderful closeness and ease I felt with her.
She didn’t say anything, just took my hand. Together, we walked out of the studio into the garden and then to metal gate.
“Maddy,” I murmured. I fished in my pocket, pulling out a square of card. I found a pen and scribbled some digits down quickly. “My number.”
“Thanks,” she said quietly. I put the paper in her hand, still feeling dizzy.
I walked back to the pick-up with her. We drove back to the shop in silence.
When we said our farewells, I felt my heart ache. I watched her go, walking back to the pick-up with a sway that made my loins ache and beg for her, even though we’d just spent such a wonderful hour together. I watched her drive out of the parking lot, without looking back.
I went to my bike, feeling utterly confused. I was glowing, and I knew with a conviction that I had never felt so much during sex. I felt like my body was at ease with her, like touching her completed me in a way that had been missing and I’d only just found.
It was an amazing feeling.
It was only as I put my helmet on, ready to ride home, that two things occurred to me. First, Adam was going to kill me and second I wish I had not waited five years to be with this amazing woman.
I wondered what Maddy thought of me.
I wondered if I deserved her to ever think of me again.
13
Maddy
When I got home, Adam was out. That was a relief as I didn’t know if I could have faced him, feeling like I did. I walked quietly up the stairs to my room with my body aching and head reeling.
I sat down on the bed and thought about Mark. His kind words. His kissing me all over. His taking me against the wall right there in my future studio.
I recalled perfectly the way it felt to have him inside me, filling me full and tightly. He had moved so beautifully inside me, gently and slowly, making me feel things I had imagined feeling, but never actually felt before.
“He was good.”
I blinked, trying to make my mind come back to the present. I shouldn’t let myself feel so much about this. We had sex in an abandoned building, more or less. It wasn’t romantic.
“But it was.”
I sighed, feeling my heart clench. It had easily been the most romantic lovemaking ever. Mark had been so fervent, so tender, so strong. I felt like I had never felt before.
“Come on, Maddy,” I said firmly to myself. “Have a shower.”
I washed myself, dressed carefully in a fresh sweater, and went downstairs. I looked at the clock. It was eleven-thirty, but I was starving. I made a sandwich and read the newspaper, not really seeing the words as I turned the pages.
My mind was too full of Mark to really think about anything else.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that he had given me his number. I put it on my phone carefully, but I didn’t want to text. I knew that he was at work, and that meant that anybody might see my message. What if he happened to open his phone when Adam was watching? If Adam found out about Mark and I, he’d lose it.
“He’d misunderstand it.”
I knew what he would think if he found out about what had happened. Convinced that Mark was a playboy, he’d think Mark used me. The thought made me angry. I forced myself to breathe slowly and evenly, then I went to make myself some coffee.
I felt more grounded after eating and some coffee. I made another cup of coffee and went up to my room. I needed to work on the advertising. I contacted Jeff the marketing and advertising guy yesterday. He had sent me an email with questions. I spent the afternoon answering them, then put together a brief description for my own flyer. Jeff would be making posters for me to put up in stores and school bulletin boards, but I could also do with additional exposure.
I printed off a simple flyer to put in people’s mailboxes, surprised to see it was three p.m. already. I checked my phone feeling disappointed in myself.
“Maddy, you’re a real coward.” I couldn’t find the strength to send Mark a text. I was too frightened of what he’d think and, should he find out, what Adam would think. And I knew that it was probably the right way to handle myself. I didn’t want to seem clingy or desperate.
I felt my stomach twitch. It was not a bad thing, I reflected bitterly, that he didn’t have a way to contact me. It would just be another method that Adam might discover us.
There were times I wished that Adam wasn’t working with Mark. That I wasn’t living here. I needed a place to stay, but with Adam’s patronizing attitude—at least, it felt like he was looking down at me and babying me—it was frustrating.
“I wish he wasn’t like this.”
Adam had grown up protecting me. I should be able to forgive him of the habit, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I couldn’t let it carry on much longer. I sighed and wished I had somebody to talk to… who would really be able to understand? I thought of Becca.
“I need some help.”
I packed my freshly printed flyers in a bag, got into my pickup and drove to the neighborhood where I wanted to start my campaign. It was the same kind of neighborhood where I’d been raised. Tall, paint-bare buildings rose up from untidy front-yards. Kids ran around in the yards noisily. Youths walked on the street, jeering at barking guard dogs.
I was glad it
was still light I thought nervously. I got out of the car and started putting flyers into mail-boxes, feeling an uncomfortable eyes-on-the-back-of-my-head sensation every time I heard a noise.
When I got into my truck, I felt relieved. I repeated the procedure at five or six other blocks of flats, anywhere that looked like kids might be. I stopped when I ran out of flyers.
I avoided Adam the next day since it wasn’t hard. He left for work before I woke, and I found a note in the kitchen. “Eggs, bread, and cut up pineapple are in the fridge. Help yourself. Adam,” I read.
I made breakfast, still feeling annoyed about the situation. I checked my watch. I had promised to meet Becca soon.
Feeling nervous, I drove to her office. I was met with yells.
“Girlfriend!” Becca greeted me loudly, shaking my hand as I came in, then shutting the door behind us to block out the eyes watching from behind the secretarial desk. “You’re going to sign?”
I nodded. “I want to,” I said.
“Adam agreed to let you take it?” she asked. “Or is he still being the annoying big brother?”
“He’ll agree to it,” I said coolly. I didn’t want to talk about him right now. I didn’t want to think about him. Adam would kill me if he knew what I’d done, which meant that I couldn’t contact Mark. And I wanted to.
“What’s up, Maddy?” Becca asked. Her eyes held my gaze and I felt the barrier I’d built up around my secret suddenly dissolve.
“I had sex. With Mark.”
Her jaw dropped and she covered her open mouth. “Maddy?” She gasped. “Are you serious? I can’t believe it! You were so quiet about it, you little minx!”
I blushed. “Becca, it’s complex,” I whispered.
“What is?” she asked. Her eyes held mine. “Are you okay?” her face, which had been all smiles, now looked concerned. I was deeply touched in that moment. I really needed someone to trust me and my decisions.
“I don’t know what to do. I want to see more of Mark. But Adam,” I began, but she interrupted sharply.