“Only if that’s where you choose to be. I didn’t ask you here to judge or punish you, Beilzen. I’m not my uncle, and it’s unfortunate that you still haven’t realized that.”
Beilzen nodded, smiling wistfully. “I wasn’t highborn like you, Pentanimir. We were well situated, but never quite well enough for those who held themselves in high regard. Your uncle helped me in many ways, as I did him. I only sought to rise higher than my station. I wanted my sons to be more than I was. That’s of little matter now. Daracus made certain of that. The de Braose name ends with me.”
“Only if you wish it. That choice, too, is yours.”
“Choice!” Beilzen’s eyes narrowed. “What choice? He took everything from me! There’s nothing left but seared, separated flesh. Why would you dig at a wound that pierces so deep?”
“Forgive me. That isn’t my intent.” Pentanimir cleared his throat, pouring him a glass of wine. “Mayhaps we should discuss the reason that I asked you here. Do you recall a citadel attendant named Shiloh?”
Beilzen’s head snapped up. “Shiloh? What? Why are you asking about her?”
“I’ll explain momentarily. Do you remember her?”
“I—I do. I was young, barely a man grown when they brought her here. I’d just began my duties for your uncle then. Why do you want to know about Shiloh?”
Pentanimir ignored his question, continuing. “Tell me what you remember about her.”
“I remember that I found her beautiful, even though she was human. Her eyes were the first I noticed. They were the deepest, richest jade with vivid amber flecks. Her auburn hair was long and wavy, and—and her skin glistened like the palest honey,” he said, smiling with the memory. “Her build was soft, full, and more pleasing to me than I could’ve ever imagined. No one in all of Nazil captivated me so. It was the first time that I’d seen a human woman so close, and I couldn’t turn from her.”
“Is that why you forced yourself on her?”
“I never raped her! I was assigned to the cells, and…and we talked to each other. Not in the beginning, but once she realized I wasn’t like the others. I brought her food and fresh water even though I wasn’t supposed to. In time, she cared for me as I did her. Even though I was Nazilian, she loved me. She was the only one who loved me. I didn’t know that they’d brought her to Nazil for a high lord. She was supposed to be maiden, but I didn’t know. It was the first for both of us. They beat her when they found out, and then took her away.”
“What happened to her?”
“I don’t know, not truly. Your uncle promoted me, and I couldn’t return. The guards sickened me, the way they japed about her. They took turns using her after the Cha had their fill. I know that she became pregnant and died soon after. Why would you open a wound long sealed?”
“Are you saying that you loved a human?”
“Is your wife not human, Zaxson? Am I now less because I loved her? Yes, when I was young and didn’t understand the way of things, I loved a human. I was six and ten, Pentanimir. I knew nothing.”
“It’s good for you that I’m not like my uncle. Even so, you’ll respect me as your Zaxson, and not like we’re two guards standing watch over the city. Your disdain for me is well known, son of Perrin, but mine was equally so for you. In my eyes, you were a caitiff, spreading lies and secrets to further your position. I don’t want or need this type of man around me. However, I’ve been told that this man no longer exists. If that’s true, there’s much I can do for you. If you’re agreeable, you could assist Jahno to maintain our records and finances.”
“Jahno? Daracus’ woman?”
“Again, your tongue serves you ill. Jahno is my sister’s husband, and his position is over yours.”
Beilzen’s face flushed. “Sister? So, it’s true. Your father did have other children.”
“He did, and they’re in Nazil, as it should’ve been long ago.” He sighed. “I’m trying to help you, Beilzen, but you’re not of a right mind. The AsZar warned me to allow your healing before speaking with you. Mayhaps it’s too soon.”
“The AsZar? The one said to be with the Guardians and giants?”
“Yes.”
“She mentioned me? What would she have of me, Zaxson?” Finally, the notes of respect had entered his voice.
“Nothing. I learned about Shiloh from the AsZar.”
Beilzen’s brow knitted. “But why? How does she know Shiloh?”
“She knows more than Shiloh. Beilzen, tell me: did you abuse Wosen because he was half-human?”
He lowered his gaze. “No. Your uncle admired strength, and I did what I could to prove that strength. Oxilon was the only one willing to give me an opportunity to be more than I was. I wasn’t acting out of hate, Pentanimir. It was out of desperation. You couldn’t know how it was for me. I was never good enough, even after becoming a guard.”
“It’s a shame that you chose the wrong Benoist,” he said, shaking his head. “Now, do you have a mind to listen?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I asked you about Shiloh, due to her son. He’s still here in the city.”
“Her son?” he breathed. “Where?”
Pentanimir scrutinized his every inflection. Could he have truly loved her? Would he love him as well? he thought.
“The boy, Fáelán, is Shiloh’s son.”
“I don’t know any child by that name,” Beilzen said.
“You wouldn’t. Draizeyn called him, bastard.”
“He’s her son? I—I thought maybe there was a chance. His eyes and coloring were like hers, but I’ve only seen him a few times. Fáelán is his name?”
“It is. Wosen has grown fond of the boy and rescued him during the battle.”
“Wosen? Can I see him…can I see Fáelán?”
“When you came, Wosen brought Fáelán down. He’s waiting in the corridor, but I have more to say.”
“I’d like to see him, please. I’ll help to care for him if you’d allow. If he’s Shiloh’s son, I want to ensure he’s taken care of. I owe her that and more. Please.”
“Do you still desire an heir?”
“Why do you torture me so? Not even I deserve what you do.”
“I’m not torturing you, Beilzen, I’m trying to learn of your heart. The progress you’ve made thus far is significant, but I must be certain. I need to know if you’re willing to accept Fáelán…because he’s your son.”
Beilzen’s mouth dropped as tears flowed from his eyes. “It’s a cruel thing you do. Did my past cause you to hate me so deeply? Daracus made certain that I’ll never have children.”
“You can no longer father a child, but there’s one here that you fathered long ago. The AsZar told me about Shiloh because of your son.”
“How? How’s it possible? Do you trick me with hopes of an heir?”
“I didn’t want to tell you at all. If not for the AsZar, Wosen would raise Fáelán as his own. Your abuse of former captives is well-known, and I won’t allow Fáelán to be mistreated.”
“I’d never abuse my son. I didn’t know, Pentanimir. Gods, I didn’t know. Even if Shiloh had told me, I couldn’t have done anything. I—I passed him without notice…he was just another slave.”
“A slave that you fathered. Shiloh died long ago, but you’re still here. Fáelán’s features are human, Beilzen, not Nazilian. When you look at him, you won’t see yourself.”
“No, but I’ll see Shiloh. No one knew about our relationship. I…he…Fáelán must be my son. Please, let me see him. I’ll care for him, my father, and I. We won’t hurt him, never. I want to see my son.”
“You’ve been assigned a larger chamber. If Fáelán chooses, he’ll remain with you. However, you won’t take him from the citadel. Nzuri needs to continue your treatments, and I’d have you monitored with Fáelán. He might be your son, but he’s of great concern not only to Wosen, but to me as well. I won’t allow his mistreatment. He’s suffered enough in his six years.”
“Never would I harm h
im. Please.”
“You’ll remain here. In time, I’ll have the appropriate documents issued certifying his birth as blessed. He’ll have your name as he should.”
Beilzen’s tears began anew. “Why are you doing this for me? You saved me from the dark chamber when most would’ve left me to die. Now, I’ll have my son, a blessing I thought forever removed.”
“I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing this for Fáelán. Regardless of your treatment toward me, I wouldn’t leave anyone to suffer in the dark chamber. The AsZar wanted you with your son, but if I find that you’re being cruel or harming Fáelán in any manner, you’ll answer for it.”
“I’ll take the greatest care of him, Zaxson. Please, may I see Fáelán?”
Pentanimir stared at him for a moment before moving to the door. Once it opened, Beilzen flinched, hearing Fáelán’s laughter. Wosen was tickling his belly, causing him to squeal.
“It’s time, Wosen. You come, too,” Pentanimir said.
Wosen clasped Fáelán’s hand, walking into the room. He glared over at Beilzen, not wanting to release the young boy.
“Fáelán,” Pentanimir said, kneeling. “This is the man that we told you about.”
The little boy clutched Wosen’s leg, moving behind it.
“Hello, Fáelán, my name’s Beilzen. Beilzen de Braose.”
Fáelán looked up at Wosen, gripping his leg tighter. He knelt down to the little boy, hugging him. “It’ll be all right, I promise. Have I ever come false to you?”
Fáelán shook his head, not releasing his hold.
“And I never will. We are family, you, and I. Don’t you remember?”
Fáelán loosened his grip, meeting his eyes. “I ‘member when we was in ‘da snow and in ‘da cit’del too.”
Wosen nodded. “Just as then, I’ll let no harm come to you. Now, we spoke about this man before. It’s all right.”
Slowly, Fáelán edged closer to Beilzen. He tucked his hands behind his back, staring down at the floor. When he was within reach, Beilzen rested a hand on his arm.
“Hello, Fáelán,” he offered again.
Fáelán said nothing. He only looked up at Beilzen with his vibrant, green eyes.
“You look like your mother,” Beilzen breathed, searching his face. “Your eyes are the same. Your mother had such beautiful eyes.”
“You knew my mum?”
“I knew her very well. She was special to me. The more we learn about each other, the more I’ll tell you about Shiloh. That was her name. Would you like that, Fáelán?”
Nodding, he inched closer, swaying as he stood.
“May I hug him?” Beilzen asked, looking at Wosen for permission.
“You need to ask that of him.”
Fáelán, hearing the question, crawled up on Beilzen’s lap. He winced at the pain of his movement, but gave no care. When Fáelán draped his arms over his shoulders, Beilzen enfolded him in his arms.
“Thank you. Thank you both. I know that I don’t deserve this. It’s true, I see her in his face. I see Shiloh.”
Pentanimir and Wosen exchanged a look.
“Offer your gratitude to the Guardians,” Pentanimir said, retaking his seat. “Sir Neufmarche, please see Beilzen to his assigned chambers and remain with them. I’ll send for you later.”
Wosen inclined his head, reaching out a hand to Fáelán. As they left the chamber, Beilzen stood, wincing as he faced Pentanimir.
“Thank you, Zaxson. I won’t forget what you’ve done for my family and me.”
“Be good to the boy, Beilzen. Teach him to be proud not only to be Nazilian, but human, too.”
“I promise you that I will. He’ll always be loved.”
When the door closed, Pentanimir shook his head, recalling how underhanded and untrustworthy that Beilzen had become. He hoped that the person that Beilzen portrayed was contrariwise to the man he’d known him to be.
“Brother,” Danimore said, entering with Temian. “We passed Beilzen in the corridor with Fáelán. How was your meeting?”
“Time will tell. Fáelán looks human, and Beilzen’s shown great disdain for them of late.”
“That’s true,” Temian said. “But our faith lies in the Guardians, not Beilzen. Keep a close watch on their interactions. Fáelán will surely tell Wosen about any concerns. We must allow him time to bond with his father.”
Pentanimir merely nodded, knowing much the same.
“Did you speak with Symeon and Sarai?” Danimore asked.
“I did, and it went well. Symeon accepted the position as First Chosen and will train the guard.”
“What about her pregnancy?” Temian asked.
“Sarai has agreed, but she doesn’t want the child.”
“Is she certain? It could be merely the shock of learning about the pregnancy. Mayhaps after she holds him, she’ll be of a different mind.”
“We won’t truly know until the time is upon us. For now, I’ve agreed to take him myself. He must be kept close.”
“Indeed,” Danimore said. “Angelaris didn’t provide much information regarding the babe. Does Sarai know the father?”
Pentanimir sighed. “It’s Daracus.”
“Daracus?” Temian’s brow knitted. “He bedded a woman?”
“Apparently he was curious due to his father’s interest in her. After Draizeyn’s death, Daracus bedded her numerous times.”
“It’s hard to fathom having any of the Vereuxs remaining,” Danimore said. “In a way, I’m pleased that their line didn’t end.”
“Me as well, Dani. I never intended to harm Daracus. But I was foolish to believe that he’d relinquish his position willingly.”
“Even so,” Danimore said. “It was his own failings that caused this tragedy.”
Pentanimir rubbed his temples, closing his eyes. His brothers were right, but that didn’t alleviate the guilt he felt. Constantly, he saw the faces of those who’d fallen in the recent battles. The cost was high. Too high.
“Brahanu. Eytan. Protect.” The last words that Itai spoke repeated in his mind as they often did. Pentanimir could do nothing to save Brahanu’s late husband. He could only hold true to the promise that he’d made to Itai as he lay dying.
“Pentanimir, mayhaps you should rest,” Danimore said. “There’re only minor details left to attend now. You’ve been working constantly and your fatigue is evident.”
“This is true. I’ve barely had any time to spend with Tardison. I need to hold my son and clear my mind. Will you and Temian see to the rest of the schedule?”
“Of course. Rest now, and I’ll ensure that Tardison is brought to you later.”
Pentanimir nodded, standing from his seat. “Dani, are you certain that Zeta has no issue with Symeon serving as my First Chosen?”
“I am. It’s been difficult for both of us, but we understand that Symeon didn’t harm her willingly. I’ll admit: I’m still angered when I see him, but more for the pain he inflicted, and not at him directly. Zeta’s deeper issue is with Surma.”
“I understand,” Temian said. “Surma was foul not only toward Zeta, but also my mother and all the human servants. If his position here causes any problems, he’ll be removed. I’ve spoken with Surma at length, and he’s agreed to the terms of this new position. If there’s an issue, Father Urdan is willing to take him into service in Yarah.”
“That’s good to know,” Pentanimir said. “Now, let us begin anew and bring peace to not only Nazil, but to all of Faélondul. The children of Manifir are together, and together we shall truly free these lands.”
Kaleo
“What would you have me do, Nissim, send them all to the headsman? What you propose isn’t anything short of insanity. I’ll give no such order, nor will you send anyone to further torment these men.”
“Torment!” Nissim spat. “They haven’t known torment as I could certainly provide.”
“Do be calm, Nissim,” Nohek Orii said, motioning to the excitable man. “Allow the Careta
ker to at least complete his thought. Mayhaps he has a solution that would be satisfactory to everyone involved.”
“The only solution befitting that scum would be to kill them as they did the humans who sat in their cells. My brother’s life is forfeit! What they’ve done won’t go unanswered.”
“Your brother lives, Nissim,” Yonas said. “That’s more than I can say for thousands of others. Would you rather he’d died in those cells and not returned to Kaleo at all?”
“I’d rather my brother to be the Caretaker as he was before the Nazilians attacked.”
With that, Yonas eyed the older man belligerently. Though everyone in the chamber sat quiet, the heaviness in the air filled the room.
“From what I’m told, had your brother his way, no one in Kaleo would’ve survived his treasonous actions, including the Caretaker himself,” Yonas said. “Was it not his plan to inform Draizeyn of the humans readying themselves for an attack?
“Was it not your brother Nesdin who would’ve turned his back on the people of Kaleo and welcomed the Nazilians in to conquer them?”
“It wasn’t—”
“It was,” Yonas declared in a tone that offered no debate. “Your brother erred in his reasoning. It’s fortuitous that this council helped him to regain his mind. Had it not been so, Kaleo would’ve been overrun. I’ve always respected your brother, and this is why you sit this council, Nissim. I want the Vaughans’ voice sounding clearly through every decision made for Kaleo. But you won’t attempt vengeance on these men to satisfy your bloodlust and family honor. The men we hold were already captives when Nazil’s forces breached our walls. Tell me: what great offense have they perpetrated against your family and Kaleo? Name one reasonable offense and you may have them all, and do with them as you please.”
Yonas’ words hung over the blustering Nissim like a swinging pendulum. He searched the faces of the council members for support in his cause. That search was in vain. Even his nephew, Aubry, turned his face away. Yonas had spoken truly about Nesdin’s intent. It pained him to admit it, if only to himself. It was his brother, former Caretaker of Kaleo, who would’ve turned his back on his people. With a derisive snort, Nissim retook his seat.
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