by Rae Knightly
“Why?” Ben exclaimed, waving his gloved hands at him. “Jeez, do I have to spell it out to you? Maybe its because my hands are glowing? Maybe it’s because I’m slowly losing control of my own thoughts? Or maybe because it’s turning me into a freak, that’s why!”
Mesmo was still frowning. “But why would it turn you into a freak? It is no different than a human skill.”
“What are you talking about? Humans don’t have skills like you!”
“Of course they do!” Mesmo replied. “I have met people with the skill of music, the skill of dancing, the skill of arts, the skill of invention…”
“The skill of what?”
Mesmo searched for the right words. “Take this snow for example. My skill is water: I simply manipulate the snow so it will not fall on us. Humans do not have this skill, so they perfected a different one: the skill of invention. They invented a device to cover themselves so they would not get wet.”
Ben gaped. “An umbrella…? You’re comparing your skill to… an umbrella?” He scoffed and shook his head.
Mesmo shrugged. “It may seem like nothing to you, but I find human creativity quite original.” He fell silent suddenly as if a separate conversation had begun in his head.
They walked on, both lost in their own thoughts.
Even though Mesmo had shone a new light on the problem, Ben was still far from happy.
He’s trying to convince me.
* * *
Ben spent the next day studying with Kimi. They tested each other and cleared up any remaining questions they had. Ben had snuck in a couple of doughnuts, which they munched on contentedly while they took a break. Ben lay at the end of the bed, staring at the ceiling.
“You know, I was thinking,” Kimi began.
Ben groaned. “Please don’t think. My brain is fried enough as it is.”
Kimi kicked him with her foot from under the bedsheets.
“Shut up!” she scolded. “I’m serious. I was thinking about the lake.”
“Oh,” Ben’s face darkened.
“No, listen. I was thinking about what I told you, about me not liking being First Nation and all. You were right, I wasn’t thinking straight. I didn’t mean what I said.”
Ben straightened. “That’s okay. You were angry. You had every right to be.”
Kimi’s eyes moved away from him. “No, it’s more than that,” she said. “You know, I really thought I was done for when I sank to the bottom of the lake. And the only thing I could think of was how stupid I was for hating myself.” Her eyes fell on him again, twinkling from some inner fire. “You see, I realized that the problem isn’t who I am—the problem is my dad! I can’t change what he thinks about my mom or me. But I can change how I think about myself. I don’t have to look at myself through my dad’s eyes. I have my own eyes to do that.”
Her words resounded with certainty. “I am unique: I was born of two cultures. The one doesn’t overshadow the other. On the contrary, they complement each other and make each other stronger, through me. Being born with two cultures is a gift, not a burden. I can create a new way of seeing the world and combine the two to solve problems. That’s actually pretty awesome!”
She wrung her hands together in excitement as if she couldn’t wait to apply her new philosophy. “It’s not my problem if my dad couldn’t adapt. It’s not my job to suffer for it! I don’t have to carry his burden. I know that now." She trailed off, consumed by an energy that burned brighter with her every word.
Ben hadn’t moved an inch as her vision seeped deep into his core. He knew her words meant something vital to him, only, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to accept their meaning. He got off the bed and began gathering his notes and books.
Kimi was still caught up in her revelation. “I’ll have to take you back to the lake this summer,” she chatted. “It’s not that bad, you know? Plenty of kids go swimming there when the days get hotter. And there’s an ice cream truck that sells the best bubblegum flavour in the world. You’ll see.”
Ben had his back to her; he took his time filling up his backpack as he couldn’t bear to face her.
I won’t be here.
“Cool,” he managed to utter.
“Ben?”
"What?" he tried to make his voice sound as normal as possible. He stuck his nose into his backpack as if he were searching for something.
“What’s wrong?”
Her question startled him. “Huh?”
“You’ve been acting weird all week. Like you’re trying to be all cheerful for my sake, but you’re just pretending. Something’s wrong. I can tell.”
How can she see right through me?
If he turned to face her, he would fall apart. He would have to tell her everything, and that would be the end of their friendship because she would never trust him again. His eyes welled with tears.
“Kimimela,” Maggie’s voice filled the room.
“Iná!” Kimi said cheerfully.
Ben watched them hug out of the corner of his eyes. He wiped his tears away swiftly.
“Ben,” Maggie said, heading to him with her arms wide.
He had no choice but to turn this time. He was struck by how different Maggie looked. Her hair was neatly tied in a ponytail that went down to her waist. Her smile took years off her face, and the resemblance with Kimi was uncanny.
He fell into her arms gratefully because it allowed him to sob freely. She stroked his head for a long time. Finally, she took his head into both of her hands and placed her forehead on to his. “I thank you, hokshila[3]. You saved my butterfly and I am forever in your debt.” She lowered her voice and added, “I don’t know what it is your father did, but my people tell me he is a great spirit. Even a Wise One from the North has travelled to speak with him. But somehow I believe I am indebted to him, too.”
They were still standing in this strange embrace when Laura and Thomas arrived.
“Hi,” Laura said, casting a worried look in her son’s direction. “We were looking everywhere for you, Ben.”
Maggie patted Ben on the shoulder and took out a tissue to wipe her eyes. She hugged Laura and Thomas, then went to sit by Kimi’s bed. “I am glad you are all here,” she said. “I have something to tell you.” She took Kimi’s hand and continued, “Some years ago, I lost my husband. He abandoned Kimi and me. For a long time, I suffered from this. I blamed myself for it, told myself I could have done more. I turned away from my identity, from my people, and I turned away from my daughter. I became a shadow of myself.” She paused, struggling with her words. “I turned away from everything that most mattered to me, and instead, sought refuge in a poison, which I used to drown my grief.” She gazed straight at Kimi and said, full of emotion, “I became an alcoholic.”
Ben felt a shift in the room at the meaningful confession.
Maggie squeezed her daughter’s hand and claimed, “I am Magaskawee. I am of the Dakhona people. You are my daughter, Kimimela, and I will heal now, for you.”
Kimi’s face crumbled as she fell into her mother’s arms. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room. When Maggie pulled away from her daughter, she stared at the floor and admitted, “The road will be hard, Kimimela. I will need your help.”
Kimi nodded, her face puffy with emotion.
Thomas cleared his throat and went to stand before Maggie. “I would like to help,” he said shakily. “That is, if you would let me…”
Maggie frowned as she stood up. “Why?”
Thomas took both of her hands in his and looked deep into her eyes. “I think you know why,” he said softly.
“Ben,” Laura whispered as she pulled him by the arm. She nudged her head towards the door. “Time to go.”
They slipped out of the room. Just before the door closed, Ben saw Kimi glance at him with a huge smile and eyes that sparkled in amazement.
Ben stared at his mother as they walked to the elevator. “Thomas? And Maggie?” he exclaimed, his eyes wide.
Laura only smiled.
; Ben jumped in front of her, walking backwards to stay ahead. “Thomas?” he repeated. “And Maggie?”
Laura’s smile widened.
Ben’s surprise turned into a grin, and he nodded in approval. “Cool!”
CHAPTER 15 Not Human
When Kimi entered the classroom on Friday morning, the students broke into loud cheers of welcome. Wes and Tyler, who had been allowed back for the civics exam, hooted the loudest.
Kimi blushed and hid her smile behind her books. Her hair tumbled over her loose turtleneck sweater. The burgundy colour went well with her dark eyes and Ben thought she was easily the prettiest girl in class.
She winked at him as she settled at her desk.
“It’s good to have you back, Kimi,” Ms. Evans said warmly.
Kimi responded with a raucous cough, but she gave a thumbs up and nodded.
Ms. Evans exclaimed. “Oh dear! All right, good thing it’s not an oral exam. Best to leave your voice alone today, I think.”
She distributed the exam papers, checked her watch and indicated that they could start.
Ben turned over the papers and scanned through the questions. He glanced at Kimi, and they exchanged a grin; they knew the answers.
This is going to be easy.
Ben pushed the idea that he was flying out of Canmore forever that day to the very back of his mind, and began scribbling. Thirty minutes into the hour, he paused to stretch his back. He checked on his classmates. They hunched over their desks in concentration—even Wes and Tyler, he noted. He rubbed his neck, then leaned over to continue writing, and instead found his hands glowing.
He jumped, heart racing. He glanced around hurriedly to make sure no-one had noticed, then froze at the sight outside the window.
On the windowsills, a dozen crows sat with their beady eyes aimed at him. One of them cawed, while the others resembled silent, unmoving gargoyles from a gloomy cathedral.
He tried to ignore the familiar sensation of blood rushing to his ears, but there were too many crows, and their chatter seeped into his mind. The exam answers he had formulated evaporated as if blown away by a cumbersome wind. The birds were trying to tell him something, he knew, but he wasn’t willing to hear. A cold sweat broke above his brow as he tried to block off the intrusion into his mind.
I won’t listen!
He hung his head a few inches from the papers on his desk so he wouldn’t have to acknowledge that contact had been made, but all he saw were blurry words under the tip of his pen. The roaring in his mind became stronger, and part of him knew the message was urgent, that he should listen.
A loud knock startled him back into awareness of the classroom. The Principal entered with a distinctly troubled look on her face. “I’m sorry to interrupt the class, Ms. Evans. I know you’re in the middle of an exam, but could I borrow Ben for a minute?” She was clearly unhappy. Her eyes and those of the rest of the class turned to Ben.
Something furry scuttered between Mrs. Nguyen’s legs. Tike dashed across the classroom. At seeing him, Ben’s mind exploded with an imminent threat.
Run!
Not a doubt remained in Ben’s mind. He knew then precisely what Tike was trying to tell him. Panic surged through his body. He jumped to his feet, his chair falling over in his haste. At the same time, Hao and Connelly entered the classroom, shoving Mrs. Nguyen aside.
Ben’s eyes searched wildly for an exit, but the only way out was barred by the agents. Like an animal caught in a trap, he staggered back into the wall.
An electric silence fell over the classroom.
Hao took a careful step forward, aware of the twenty-four pairs of eyes glued on him. He forced a smile, “Hello, Benjamin. Would you step outside, please?”
Ben shook his head wordlessly.
Hao raised an eyebrow. His hands twitched by his side. He gestured meaningfully towards the students. “Come now, there’s no need to make a scene. Don’t make this harder on yourself.”
Ben felt his resilience fading like snow in the desert sun, yet he could not make himself cross the only space of freedom that remained between him and the agent. And it wasn’t even because of Hao. It was because, from behind Hao, Connelly’s cold eyes glued Ben to the ground.
Twisted eyes! There’s no way I’m going with him!
Hao’s irritation was palpable. He did not need to raise his voice, because his sharp tone was unmistakeably demanding. “Benjamin Archer, you are under arrest. You will step out of this classroom at once!”
The Inspector’s words triggered a hidden source of anger within Ben. How dare this man threaten him? How dare he remove him from the safety of his classroom and uproot his life at the snap of his fingers?
“No!” he said, the word born deep within. He wasn’t sure what he was doing—he was driven by instinct rather than common sense, but he didn’t care. This situation was wrong and he meant to let everyone know it was so.
I’m not going down without a fight!
“No!” he said again, this time with more vigour. “I’m not going with you! I’ve done nothing wrong and you know it! I’m innocent until proven guilty. It says so in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. I deserve to be treated like a human being!”
“You are NOT a human being!” Hao’s words flew across the room and planted themselves like knives into Ben’s heart. He swayed at their power. He fell back as if he had been pierced by a hundred spears.
A deathly silence that would rival the eye of a hurricane filled the room. A pencil rolled slowly off a desk, then clattered loudly to the ground.
Hao blinked and glanced at the multitude of wide eyes that were on him. He sucked in air as he straightened. “Enough,” he scowled, gesturing to Connelly. “I don’t have time for this. Get him.”
The alien who used Connelly’s traits as a disguise, strode purposefully towards Ben and Ben cowered at his every step. Then, suddenly, the Shapeshifter stopped and stared down in confusion.
“No, you’re not,” Tyler announced, planting himself in front of Connelly. Ben’s classmate inflated his chest and crossed his arms. “Ben’s my friend and I won’t let you take him.”
“Tyler!” Ben whispered urgently. He could see the muscles in Connelly’s neck tighten.
“Me, neither,” a voice said, and in an instant, Wes rubbed shoulders with Tyler. Voices flared, chairs scraped on the floor and students flocked to Wes and Tyler’s side. Even scared Max joined them.
“Now wait a minute…” Ms. Evans sprung out of her chair, arguing with Hao.
Ben could not escape the Shapeshifter’s glare. He could sense the tenseness in the bald man’s face as more and more students rushed to stand between them.
“Don’t!” Ben said weakly, praying that the alien would not burst like a nuclear warhead, but his warning was lost in the raucous objections.
A gust of freezing wind hit him in the neck. A hand pulled him aside.
“This way!” Kimi urged.
Ben blinked.
Kimi had opened a classroom window and slipped through it. Catching on, Ben picked up Tike and shoved the dog after her. Kimi slid down a ledge and jumped into the packed snow not far below. Ben stuck out his own head and caught his breath: there were hundreds—no, thousands—of crows littering the trees, school rooftop, windowsills and sky all around him.
No sooner had he slipped onto the ledge, than a multitude of wings unfolded around him. A deafening noise of gratings caws and clicks filled the air. Ben felt a whoosh of feathers as the birds dove inches from his head, then shot through the open window behind him, triggering shrieks from terrified students caught inside the classroom.
Ben’s brain exploded with noise, not so much from the thunderous cawing outside, but from the staggering clamour inside his brain.
Run! Danger! Get out! What are you waiting for? Get away!
Ben pressed his glowing hands over his ears and screamed. His body weight dragged him over the edge and he landed in the snow with a thud. The crows were outsi
de and inside of him. He was a boy lying in the snow, but he was also a thousand birds swirling through the air and diving into the hectic classroom.
“Ben!” Kimi’s distressed call came through to him.
He gasped in pain and felt the cold snow beneath his body. It brought him back to his senses long enough to stand and stagger away from the school with Kimi’s support. When they were two blocks away, the sudden void in his mind made him retch horribly.
He knew that Kimi was watching his glowing hands with a mixture of fear and wonder. But she grabbed him under the arm and pulled him down the street. The cold seeped through their clothes and their shoes, as they hadn’t been able to put on snow gear.
Ben was vaguely aware of his surroundings and of Kimi, who shot him anxious glances as they advanced. He felt utterly exposed to the skill. In his mind’s eye, the blue filaments grew arms and attached themselves to millions of neurons in his head, weaving an intricate web through his brain, and he was too weak to fight it.
Tike entered his thoughts, sending him an image of police cars with swirling lights in front of a townhouse. Ben’s stomach heaved.
“Wait!” he wheezed as he stopped Kimi from dragging him on. He took a deep breath to settle the nausea and tried to focus on his surroundings. “Not Thomas’ place,” he said. “Too late. Police are already there.”
Kimi gave him a strange look, but said, “Can you make it to my house?”
Ben nodded.
She took him by the arm again, but Ben gasped suddenly. “What?” Her eyes widened as they stopped again.
“My mom!” Ben exclaimed. “She doesn’t know! I have to warn her!”
“Come on!” Kimi urged. “I’m taking you home. Then I’ll get your mom.” She pulled him forward through the snow-packed streets. Light snowflakes floated through the air.
They made it to Kimi’s house. She opened the door and shoved him in. “I’ll be right back,” she said, heading away before he could say anything.
“Kimi, is that you?” Ben heard Maggie say. She appeared in the living room door and frowned. “Ben?” She took him by the shoulders and led him through the door, where he found Thomas sitting on a couch and placing a cup of coffee on a low table.