by Rae Knightly
What’s wrong? Are you still angry at me?
Tike’s words were unmistakable as, for the first time, Ben opened up to them entirely. It also meant feeling all of his dog’s feelings, and he realized just how much he had hurt his companion in the past weeks by ignoring him.
Oh, Tike!
He picked up the terrier and hugged him.
I’m so sorry I was mean to you. I’m an idiot!
Tike licked his face.
No, you’re not. I love you.
Ben was taken aback by such innocent sincerity. He hugged his dog harder.
I love you, too!
They stayed close like that for a long moment, Ben stroking Tike’s back and Tike kissing him in the neck with his snout.
Light poured into the igloo as the snow melted and Mesmo appeared in the open doorway.
“Benjamin?” he called. “Time to go. It’s a long way down. I’m hoping to reach the road by tomorrow morning.”
“After we’ve saved Mom.”
“Right.”
“Before that you have to teach me to use the skill.”
Mesmo didn’t answer right away. “First, let’s get this day over. I need you to save your strength.”
“I’m fine,” Ben reassured him, before noticing the emptiness in his stomach.
Mesmo must have noticed his face change, because he said, “Time to go.”
Ben stepped out of the igloo and caught his breath. Though it was still snowing, the clouds were high and grey in the sky, allowing him a glimpse of the vast landscape ahead of him. The steep Kananaskis Mountains sloped dangerously before leveling out into the plains that crossed half of Canada. Somewhere, down below, a road followed the mountain and rejoined the highway. Ben suddenly understood Mesmo’s urgency. If another storm hit, he could be stuck here for days without food. Ignoring his hunger, he stepped after Mesmo as they began their descent.
CHAPTER 19 Grizzly
Ben fell headlong in the snow.
“Benjamin?” Mesmo called, hurrying to his side.
Ben turned his head but was too weak to flip onto his back.
“Get up! You have to keep going!” Mesmo urged.
“Can’t,” Ben muttered. He had walked for seven hours straight and he was exhausted.
Mesmo melted some snow by his mouth. “Drink!” he ordered.
Ben obeyed, feeling the fresh water flow down to his empty stomach. The descent had been brutal, especially when Mesmo had had to cut the connection with the spirit portal to return to his physical body, leaving Ben on his own for several hours. Ben’s progress had been excruciatingly slow during that time because Mesmo had not been there to melt the snow in his path.
Fortunately, sometime after two o’clock, the alien had returned, allowing Ben to make good progress.
But now, Ben was done. He needed rest. And he needed food.
“You can’t stay out here in the open,” Mesmo said with his back to the boy. “Come on. You need to make it to the edge of the forest at least.”
Ben raised his head slightly.
What forest?
He spotted it way below.
I can’t.
Yes, you can. Get up!
Tike was by his side. Ben stared at his dog, whose exhaustion was more palpable even than his own. Ben felt a pang of guilt and picked himself up. Then he grabbed Tike and covered him under his jacket. His dog sent him a wave of gratitude, giving him the energy he needed to clamber down to the forest.
Ben, Mesmo and Tike made it to the border of trees by early evening. The boy collapsed in the igloo that Mesmo melted out for him and fell into a troubled sleep. His dreams bordered on hallucinations. He shivered from cold in spite of the protective snow-womb he lay in, the low temperatures having anchored themselves to his clothes. Sometimes he was talking to Tike, other times he was calling Mesmo’s name, but he couldn’t tell if the alien was there or not. He dug his mouth into a juicy steak, only to realize it was made of thin air, and he woke to his stomach grumbling painfully.
By morning, he couldn’t shake off the fuzziness in his brain and his eyes blacked out for a second as he tried to sit up. His legs felt like numb stumps. He rubbed his face with his hands to try and get rid of his exhaustion, then broke out of his snowy shelter.
The sun shone, warming his cheeks. He lay in the snow, half-in and half-out of the igloo, unable to move. Finally, he attempted to stand shakily, his legs feeling like stubborn logs. He scanned the barren landscape with his eyes. There was no sign of Mesmo.
Having nothing better to do, Ben followed Tike as the dog wandered off into the trees. It wasn’t long before they reached the edge of a lake. Ben knelt at its edge and broke a hole in the ice. Tike lapped at the water thirstily while Ben struck at the ice to make a second hole. He plunged his cracked lips into the icy liquid, ignoring its stinging cold. Satisfied at having filled his stomach with something, the boy wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
Suddenly, Tike tensed. The dog crouched to the ground, ears laid back, teeth barred.
Ben froze with his arm half-way up to his mouth. A low growl reached his ears, chilling his blood. Filled with a sense of foreboding, he turned to face the source of the menacing sound.
The towering grizzly bear’s mouth bristled with saliva. Its nostrils huffed. It shook its robust body, making its shaggy coat sway to-and-fro. The beast sniffed at the air, then rose on its hind legs and let out a furious roar, displaying its sharp teeth.
Ben scampered back in terror. His brain exploded with stars, the blood rushed to his ears and instantly, he was pulled into the grizzly’s mind. He saw himself through the eyes of the bear with a powerful sense of irritation at the sight of this insignificant, trembling creature before him.
You trespass!
The words boomed in Ben’s mind. The beast shook its mane to show off its power and might and the small creature shrank into a ball of fear before it. This only made the grizzly angrier. It wanted to swipe at the thing with one mighty paw.
A tiny part of Ben’s mind was still his.
If I want to survive, I must give in to the skill.
It was imperative. It was urgent. It had to be now.
For Mom.
He let go willingly. He resigned to the translation skill and instantly slipped into the bear’s thoughts, the words he needed forming in his mind’s eye.
Yes! I trespass! This is your domain, mighty one. Forgive me.
The bear fell back down to its front paws in bewilderment. It sniffed at the air, trying to decide whether the insignificant creature was a menace.
Ben crouched on the ground, making himself as small as possible. He pushed aside his feelings of fear and made the bear aware that he was completely harmless. He bent his head, avoiding eye contact, and reached out a glowing hand in submission.
The grizzly blew angrily through its nostrils, but its curiosity was piqued. It spoke with a deep, authoritative voice.
You kill my family with thunder. You steal my food. I do not like your kind.
Ben knew it was referring to hunters. He also knew it was no use lying. His mind was open to the bear, just as much as the bear’s was to him.
Yes, my species can be unkind. But I am just a cub. I have no thunder. I do not like thunder.
He remained silent, allowing the beast to scan his mind, ignoring a surge of nausea.
You are strange, different. Not like the others.
Ben bit his lip.
That is because I speak your language. I can listen and obey your will.
The bear relaxed slightly and took a step back.
Ben dared lift his head to peek at the animal. It observed him curiously, deciding Ben wouldn’t make a worthy meal after all. Instead, its threatening mood fell away and it was replaced by compassion.
You are hungry.
The bear could read his every feeling.
No cub in my domain goes hungry!
The grizzly lurched forward, making Ben jump. But it he
aded straight for the lake. Ben watched, awestruck, as the majestic creature waded into the water, scanning the depths for fish.
Not long after, Ben plodded through the snow, away from the lake, through the forest, and out into the sun. A sleepy corner of his brain knew that he was still submerged with the bear, at the animal’s complete mercy. He spotted a movement a little way off. The intrusion of another being in the bear’s territory angered him and he advanced with determination.
The being had flimsy arms and legs, and fur on its small head. The being turned to face Ben the Bear and looked straight at him. “Benjamin? What’s wrong?” it said, frowning.
Why do you call me Benjamin? Why do you not fear me?
Confusion entered Ben’s thoughts.
Am I not a bear? What am I?
A part of his mind detached itself and became that of a boy. Ben’s awareness slowly replaced the bear’s thoughts as it focused on the being.
I know you.
“Ben!” Mesmo urged. “Snap out of it!”
Ben’s mind uncurled entirely from that of the grizzly, which had remained by the lake, and through a hazy fog in his mind, he remembered who he was. He looked down, expecting to see huge paws, but instead found that he had hands, and that he was carrying a large trout. He let the fish slip to the ground.
I’m not a grizzly. I’m a human boy.
He stared at Mesmo in utter confusion. “Grizzly,” he muttered. Then everything swam before his eyes, and he fell into darkness.
* * *
When he woke, Ben found himself lying on his back in the snow. He turned his head, but when he did, his stomach heaved, and he retched. Nothing came out of his mouth as he had not eaten in two days. He found Mesmo staring at him intently. He remained on his side, panting, holding Mesmo’s eyes as if they were anchors. His mind was free from the bear’s thoughts. He was just Ben again. But he was also paralyzed with fear. He had used the skill and it had knocked him out, making him weak and nauseous. It took a while before he found enough strength to speak. “Am I going to die?”
Mesmo studied him with deeply knitted brows. He approached Ben and knelt beside him. “No, Benjamin Archer, you are not going to die.”
Ben rolled to his side, ignoring the dizziness in his head. “Then why is the skill making me so sick?”
Mesmo’s gaze bore into him. The alien’s shoulders sagged as if a great burden had been placed on them, and Ben thought he saw the shadow of a deep sadness pass before his eyes. “It is not you who is sick,” Mesmo said. “It is the animals.”
Ben stared at the alien in stunned silence. The words repeated in his mind.
It’s not me. It’s the animals!
He was dumbfounded at their meaning. “But how?” he breathed.
Mesmo wrung his hands together. “I have thought about it, ever since you mentioned the symptoms the first time. I thought perhaps your body was adapting to the skill, but soon it became clear that something else was going on—something that, as far as I know, has never been recorded by previous Observers of my kind. There is only one explanation: when you use the skill, you experience the animal’s illness. That is my conclusion.” He held Ben’s gaze and asked, “Do you agree?”
Ben caught his breath. As soon as Mesmo had uttered the question, everything became evident in his head, as if a veil had lifted. And he knew, deep in his heart, that Mesmo was right. “Yes,” he said in agreement. He pushed himself into a sitting position, his eyes never leaving Mesmo’s gaze, and said again, “Yes!”
His nausea was replaced by horror at the seriousness of the discovery. “But Mesmo,” he gasped. “It’s all of them! All the animals: the seals, the bear, the ants…” He broke off, unable to continue. The implication was staggering.
Mesmo nodded and Ben knew instinctively that the alien had reached this conclusion some time ago.
“But it doesn’t make sense,” Ben reflected. “They don’t act sick.”
“I don’t think they are aware they are sick. I think it is more like a hidden cancer that has not yet declared itself,” Mesmo said. “When you connect with the creatures, you are not only communicating with them, you are also entering their whole being. You become one with them. Your body and your mind synchronize with their bodies and their minds. My daughter did that, too, when she was a small child and did not understand her skill. Where I come from, it is against the law to take over a creature’s mind and body without their consent. The translation skill is used for communication only, and only if the creature is willing to communicate. The trick is to refrain from using the skill’s full power unless the creature agrees to it.
“Because you are new to this skill, you have not yet learned to separate yourself from the creature. You become one with them. You forget yourself. The problem is, when your body synchronizes with theirs, it picks up any illness they may have, and its symptoms translate into your body. Hence your physical reactions.
“You are strong. You are healthy. But if you don’t learn to disconnect yourself from the creatures you communicate with, your body may not recognize the difference between you and them anymore, and it will keep the symptoms. And, yes, then you truly will be sick.”
Ben listened to Mesmo speak and knew that everything he said was true. It was as if some part of him had always known things were this way, but he had not known how to distinguish the animals’ feelings from his own. He had connected with his whole being with many creatures already, and he shuddered when he remembered how sick he had felt after synchronizing with them. He was afraid to hear the answer but needed to ask the question. “Mesmo, why are the animals sick?”
Mesmo considered him for a moment, then replied, “I think you already know.”
Ben did. “Are we—humans—making them sick?”
Mesmo did not need to answer.
“But how’s that possible?” Ben blurted. “We’re miles away from any city. There’s no pollution here. How could that bear be sick?”
Mesmo replied, “Humans are not only poisoning the cities. Pollution is seeping into the air and the water, which carries it to all corners of the globe. No mountain or ocean has been spared. I have felt it in the water, everywhere I have travelled. This poison has been absorbed by all the living creatures on this planet. It is lying in wait in their bones, in their blood. If nothing is done soon, this terminal illness will declare itself and a massive extinction will be unchained among the animal kingdom. I fear none will be spared, perhaps not even humans.”
Ben gaped. The enormity of these revelations was almost too much too bare. He thought of the gentle giant, the humpback whale, who had taken him into the deep ocean for a brief instant. And the seals, who had wanted to play with him under the surface of the water. Poisoned by his own species.
I can’t let that happen!
From that very moment, something was born inside of Ben, like a calling or a lifelong purpose, and he knew things would never be the same again. A sudden realization came to him. “Is that why you came to Earth? To save the animals from dying out?”
A strange look crossed Mesmo’s face—one that he could not read. The alien stood and said, “You need to eat.” He placed his hands in the snow and melted it, so it covered the trout that the grizzly had offered Ben.
Ben stood as well, joining Mesmo hastily. “I want to help! I understand everything now. I want to master the skill and help you save the animals.”
Mesmo did not seem to share his enthusiasm. He smiled, but his eyes remained sad. “You can’t do that on an empty stomach,” he said. “I know you said you want to become a vegetarian, but right now I think you need to break your vow.”
Ben watched as bubbles and steam appeared on the surface of the water, rising from under the trout. A delicious smell seeped from the fumes. “You’re boiling the fish?” he asked in wonder.
Mesmo smiled. “I can’t light a fire, so this will have to do.”
Ben’s mouth watered.
CHAPTER 20 Convergence
Laura stumbled after Bordock in a daze. She wanted to lie down and drift into a deep sleep, but the idea that Ben might be alone on the mountain kept her going. She prayed that Mesmo had not abandoned him, though she knew that, considering Mesmo’s condition, it would be impossible for him to remain at Ben’s side at all times. He would have to return to his physical body at some point.
Her mouth dried at the thought that Mesmo could betray them somehow; that he was in fact the enemy. She could not, would not, believe it. Bordock was the one who had killed Mesmo’s wife and daughter, shot down Mesmo’s spacecraft and threatened Ben. She hated his ability to plant doubt in her mind and she pictured him as a deceitful chameleon that changed colours according to what suited him best.
Bordock pulled at her numb arm to keep going. She faintly registered that they were marching along a dense forest of fir trees.
Then a sound reached her ears. She forced herself to pay attention, as her fuzzy mind could not determine what it was.
Bordock stopped and they both listened as the rumbling drew nearer and nearer at incredible speed.
Suddenly, Laura identified the source of the noise. “Helicopter!” she shouted.
Bordock pulled her away from the clearing and into the forest. He pushed her between some thick roots and held her down until the helicopter had zoomed over their heads.
Laura regained complete consciousness in an instant. Her heart drummed in her chest. She risked a peek into the clearing and spotted a couple of helicopters the size of flies high up on the mountain. The sky had turned blue, with scattered white clouds. Before long the area would be crawling with search teams.
Bordock grabbed her wrist and dragged her deeper into the forest until they reached the edge of a small lake, hidden under the branches of the trees. They stopped again, breathing hard, listening to the muffled silence.