Heart's Cry

by Rita Peterson

  Lily Ann handed her some tissues. “Everything will work out. Let’s take one step at a time. I’ll make sure your girls are fed, clothed and get to school safely.”

  “I must be living a dream. You are miracle workers, an answer to my prayers.” Alana pulled her blankets securely around her. “Before my girls come and see me, would you let them know that everything is going to be okay?”

  Lily Ann pushed back the tears forming in her eyes. “You have my word, Alana.”

  Both doctors exited the room.

  Clyde motioned to Lily Ann to follow him to a side room. “Lily Ann, our paths keep crossing.” Clyde ran his hand through his hair. “You want to grab a coffee with me sometime?”

  Lily Ann’s heartrate increased, and her hands became clammy. Everything in her wanted to scream yes to Clyde, but she hesitated. Then she remembered Miss Patty’s wise words, “If he is anything like his father.” She swallowed hard and stared deeply into his hazel eyes. “Sure, that would be lovely.” I did it.

  “And the gala. I can pick you up at five?”

  Lily Ann thought she was going to pass out. “Sure, five will work.” She pushed her hair behind her ears. “I’d better go and chat with Megan and Emily, then reunite them with their mom.”

  “You’re an amazing woman, Lil. Do you mind if I call you, Lil?”

  “I don’t mind.” She fiddled with her hair and shifted her weight from one foot to the next.

  “Great. I will check on Alana once more before my shift ends. If I don’t see you tomorrow, I’ll see you Friday evening.” Clyde grinned and walked back towards Alana’s room.

  Lily Ann nodded. Her insides screamed for a strong cup of coffee to soothe her nerves. She touched her flushed face. I’m acting like a schoolgirl with a crush.

  Chapter 6

  Clyde Nelson adjusted his silk mahogany necktie in the rear-view mirror before opening his rusty truck door. He slipped on his black suit jacket and made his way up the freshly shoveled path to Miss Patty’s house. He was thankful for a well-shoveled walkway since he was wearing his dress shoes. The cold was biting right through the thin leather, causing him to wiggle his toes. He rang the doorbell.

  Miss Patty opened the front door and welcomed him in.

  Clyde didn’t hesitate. The warmth of her home was most comforting. The aroma of supper baking filled the air. He glanced around the entrance and noticed many watercolor paintings on the wall. He tried to read the artist’s name, but the signature was too obscure. Clyde tugged on his well-groomed goatee and ran his hand through his hair. He felt eighteen again.

  With a cane in one hand, Miss Patty limped out of the entrance humming a cheerful tune to herself.

  Clyde waited. He checked his cell phone for the time and stuffed it back into his jacket pocket. His heart was pounding faster than he had expected. He prayed for courage to step out of his comfort zone and for wise words to say.

  A door squeaked open. His body stiffened. Clyde peered through the archway that led down a hallway into the living room. Pots clattered, an appliance opened, and different voices drifted from the kitchen. Clyde could sense that Lily Ann was on her way. The creaking of the linoleum floor made his nerves twitch. Rubbing his hands together and stroking his goatee, seconds felt like minutes and minutes felt like hours.

  His eyes widened as Lily Ann strolled down the hallway. Her face glowed with a smile—the same contagious smile she wore while they were painting in the butterflies together.

  Clyde reached out his hand to greet her. “You look stunning tonight.” She slipped on her black dress heels. He used the opportunity to wrap her wool peacoat around her shoulders.

  Lily Ann slid her arms into her coat and fastened the wooden buttons. “Thank you. You look good tonight too.”

  “The gala doesn’t start for another two hours, but I’d like to take you to a unique place first.” Clyde opened the front door.

  Lily Ann lifted her flowing satin wine dress a few inches before stepping outside.

  Clyde helped her to the truck, then opened the truck’s passenger door to help Lily Ann in.

  “I’m so thankful your truck is warm. I can’t get over how cold it is.” Lily Ann rubbed her hands together.

  “There’s this picturesque place fifteen minutes from here. I want you to see it.” He shifted Roxy into drive.

  Lily Ann raised her eyebrows.

  Clyde drove to the eastern outskirts of Anchorage. He parked his pickup truck at the edge of a cliff. “Watch the sky.”

  Lily Ann leaned forward and stared out of the windshield, then her lips parted. Thousands of brilliant stars twinkled in the evening sky. “It’s so beautiful here. In Seattle, you never see the stars like this. And never before five in the evening. I can’t believe how dark it is already.”

  “Welcome to the North.” Clyde adjusted in his seat to face Lily Ann. “I’m going to be frank with you.” He breathed in deeply and caught a refreshing fragrance that temporarily transported his mind to a rose garden.

  “Yes, I think that is best.” Lily Ann’s eyes grew large, and she pointed out the window. “Oh my goodness, a shooting star. I’ve never in my life seen one before. Good luck, you think?”

  “Luck, maybe. But how about a sign from the heavens.” Clyde cleared his throat. “I have so many questions I want to ask you, but first, let me share my story.”

  Lily Ann leaned back and adjusted her dress.

  “I was married fourteen years ago to a beautiful Brazilian woman. I met her in Brazil when I was stationed there for four months. You see, when I graduated high school, I didn’t have the finances to go to college or medical school, so I joined the military. On my third mission to Brazil, I met Maria and brought her back to the US. We married and I built a small cabin for us to live in.”

  Clyde reached into his pant pocket and pulled a photograph out of his wallet. “This was Maria and I standing in front the cabin I’d just finished building.”

  “She’s beautiful. You both seem so happy.” Lily Ann’s body stiffened. “What happened?”

  Clyde’s lips began to quiver as he placed the picture back in his wallet. “The unthinkable happened.”

  Lily Ann pursed her lips together.

  “I was stationed in Syria for ten months, and in that time Maria found out she was pregnant with our first baby a month after I left. She was over-the-moon thrilled and so was I.” Clyde’s face dropped, and he nervously stroked his goatee. “My dad, Henry, checked on her every weekend to make sure she was faring well and got her anything she needed. One day my dad went and found the cabin’s windows broken and the front door smashed open. He ran inside to find my Maria—”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Clyde.” Lily Ann blinked rapidly.

  Clyde wiped a tear from his cheek and gripped the steering wheel with both hands as he stared out into the night sky. “A grizzly had smashed into our cabin killing Maria and my unborn child.” He shook his head. “I immediately flew home. After the incident, I couldn’t go back to the military. Instead I decided to train to work as a trauma doctor here. It’s been eleven years since that day.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “There is nothing to be sorry about.” Clyde relaxed his hands and turned towards Lily Ann. He took another deep breath and cleared his scratchy throat. He had a strong desire to embrace her, but his heart spoke clearly and held him back. Say it. She needs to know. It’s time to move on. You’ve got to open up and tell her.

  “And now I met you.” Clyde reached for her left hand. “I want to start a new chapter of my life, and it involves you.” He breathed out. There, I said it.

  Lily Ann shivered and pulled back her hand.

  “Clyde, you don’t know my story. Every time men see the burn scars, they push me away.” The fountain exploded and the tears gushed over her cheeks.

  “Calm down. I already know you’ve been severely burned. I saw your arms while you were scrubbing up for emergency surgery. You were so focused on saving Zara
’s life and her baby that you let your guard down. I saw them, but I’m not running.”

  Lily Ann turned her shaky body square to his. “Okay, I haven’t told my story for so long. No guy ever wants to—”

  “Listen, I’m not like the other guys. Forget those jerks. You are so much more. I don’t care about your scars or your hand. You’re gorgeous inside and out.” Clyde reached for Lily Ann’s right hand. She pushed his away, but he persisted and gripped it. “Your physical scars make you who you are. A woman of compassion, grace, and love. You offer so much and never ask for anything in return. You give and give and give.” His eyes bore into hers. “Go ahead, I’m listening.”

  Lily Ann stared down at the hand that encompassed hers. “I was eleven years old and my dad wanted to spend more time with me. He was a tanker truck driver and traveled all over the US, so he was away a lot. I was so excited to go on a road trip with him, only me and my dad.” She paused.

  “I know it’s hard, but I’m here for you.”

  Lily Ann glanced at the stars and then back at Clyde. “A pickup truck cut my dad off and he slammed on the brakes. His tanker did a fishtail, the cab flipped and rolled, and it—”

  Clyde could see Lily Ann’s petite body trembling. He took a chance and opened his arms to embrace her. She was scared, he could tell, but she fell against him. He held her tight, listening to her weeping. “Go on, Lil. Get it all out.”

  Lily Ann’s lips quivered as she spoke. “The truck blew up. It was like an inferno. I screamed. My flesh was burning. I was pinned. It was horrible. I couldn’t see or hear my dad. I kept yelling for him.” Lily Ann pushed herself out of Clyde’s embrace.

  “I don’t know what happened next. I only know what was told to me afterwards because I passed out.” She scrubbed the tears from her cheeks. “The fire department came. They were the first on the scene. I guess they were shocked to hear me screaming because the truck was engulfed with flames. A brave firefighter ran into the flames and pulled me out.” Lily Ann fell back into Clyde’s chest.

  “My hero. He died.” She wiped more tears away, remnants of mascara on her knuckles. “I don’t understand how my face never burned, but they told me that the truck’s door had pinned me near my chin, and by some miracle, it stopped the flames from touching my face. My right hand was squashed under some twisted hot metal.”

  Clyde remained silent. He felt her heart thump against his chest.

  “No one thought I was going to make it. I had severe burns to ninety percent of my body. Unconscious and hardly breathing. But the doctors and nurses fought so hard. My mom stood by me every step of the way. Encouraged and loved me.

  “I had a nurse who was there when my mom had to go back to work. She took her place. Spoke words of praise and encouragement. Pushed me to keep going. She was my catalyst. The one who spurred me to be a doctor. I wanted to make a difference.”

  Clyde’s nose touched the tips of Lily Ann’s hair. The aromatic smells of tropical fruit floated up his nostrils. He rested his hand on her back.

  “Two years…two dreadful long years of surgeries and rehab. I was thirteen when I went back to school. Only one week and my mom pulled me out. I was a freak with no friends.” Lily Ann buried her head into Clyde’s shoulder.

  Clyde tightened his embrace.

  “My mom decided to homeschool me, and I began enrolling in online courses to prep myself for med school. I decided that I would prove to myself that I could do anything I wanted.” Lily Ann locked her eyes into his. “I took up painting, teaching my left hand the fine-motor movements needed for being a doctor. My mom taught me how to sew. I didn’t want to be viewed as a handicapped doctor who needed special assistance.”

  “Lil, you’re the most courageous woman I’ve ever met. It’s an honor to be with you.” Clyde paused searching for the right words. He prayed he wouldn’t come across too corny. “You’re fun, lively, sincere, and beautiful. This is for real. I hope you realize that I’m not running away from you.”

  Lily Ann’s head tilted toward him. “You mean—”

  “That’s right, you’re not alone anymore.” Clyde leaned toward her and cupped his hands around her face. Her body tensed up. He pulled her back into an embrace instead. He’d give her time to trust him.

  Lily Ann buried her face into Clyde’s chest. “I’m sorry. I’m so insecure.”

  “Don’t you worry. I understand. I’m the one who should apologize for moving too fast.”

  Lily Ann’s body seemed to relax. “Thank you,” she mumbled. “Thank you for accepting me as me.”

  Clyde glanced down at his truck’s digital clock, “Gosh, its already past seven. We’re going to be fashionably late for the gala tonight.”

  She glanced in the mirror. “Oh no, look at me. My makeup is smeared all over my face. What a sight.”

  “A beautiful sight to me.” He couldn’t help grinning at her. Large black smudges of mascara and eyeliner circled her puffed eyes and cheeks. “Maybe we should attend a football game instead of a gala tonight?”

  She burst out laughing.

  It’s a good thing she can take a joke. “Anyway, Jared told me it’s important for you to be at the gala. I don’t know why, but we’d better get moving. But first we’ll swing by Miss Patty’s house. You can freshen up and fix—”

  “It’s a plan,” she interrupted. “I usually don’t attend these functions. I hate going by myself.”

  Clyde brought her hand to his lips. “From now on I’ll be with you.” He reached for his seatbelt, placed Roxy into gear, and drove back towards Anchorage.

  ~

  Lily Ann rushed inside, startling Miss Patty, Megan, and Emily who were playing a game of crib. She had no time to waste on conversation, but she needed to check in with them. “Don’t you worry, Miss Patty. Everything is perfectly fine. Got to fix up my makeup.”

  “Okay, love. Whatever you say.” She winked.

  “I’ll fill you in later.” Lily Ann slammed the door to her bedroom, slightly harder than usual. Once the door was closed, she unzipped her purse and grabbed her cell phone. Her heart was going a mile a minute as she hit her mom’s name on messages. She had to text her—no time for a phone call tonight.

  Mom, I’m in love.

  Lily Ann raced to the bathroom and splashed warm water over her face. The phone dinged. She swiped the screen with her elbow to read the message.

  You’re making me cry. The guy you painted with?

  She reached for a cloth and dabbed her hands. Before she applied a soft-toned foundation on her face, she texted back.

  Yeah, Clyde. Unbelievable night.

  She pulled out her pinkish silver eye shadow and began applying it on when another ding went off.

  I want to meet this guy who is making my daughter so happy! Sweetie, we need to chat.

  Lily Ann stared in the mirror, her face reflecting a classier look without the raccoon eyes. With one more glance, she smoothed her hair, grabbed for her cell phone, and dashed out of the room.

  Megan stood up. “You’re stunning, Lily Ann.”

  “Slow down. You’re going to crash, love.” Miss Patty held onto her cane.

  Lily Ann called as she sped by, “Don’t worry about me. I—”

  She paused at the door and squeezed another text in.

  Love you, mom. I feel it. He’s the one.

  She slipped on her dress shoes. Her phone vibrated.

  Call me when you get a minute. Your dear mom wants to hear all about it.

  Lily Ann threw open the front door and headed for Clyde who stood by his truck. He bowed and opened the passenger door for her. She felt like a queen for the first time in her life.

  ~

  Lily Ann held onto Clyde’s arm as he escorted her to their table. Once seated, she peered around the prestigious ballroom while Clyde chatted with the other members at the table. There had to be at least five-hundred people in attendance. The crowds around her made her uncomfortable. Not only that, she noticed off to one
side many digital cameras. She focused on the table near the cameras and read KTUU Channel 2 on one of the microphones. Why would KTUU News be here? Her curiosity heightened and she felt like a spy in a room of strangers. A lady with a sleek dress entered the room from a side door holding a microphone. What was going on?

  When the food arrived, Lily Ann cut her tender roast beef slices into smaller pieces and moved them around on her plate mixing them with the grilled string beans and gravy.

  “Lily Ann,” Clyde said leaning into her shoulder, “is everything okay? I notice you’re not eating.”

  “I…well...something is bothering me. KTUU is here.”

  “What? Are you sure? Can’t be. The press has never been here before, since this is a private fundraising event.” Clyde shook his head. “We have dinner, then there’s a silent auction and a dance. Jared usually submits an article to the Anchorage Daily News, but not KTUU.” Clyde followed Lily Ann’s gaze to the far corner of the room.

  “Then what is that?”

  “Cameras.” Clyde’s jaw dropped. “I’m sure we will find out soon. Jared is walking towards the stage now.”

  Lily Ann placed her fork down and stood with the rest of the crowd to welcome her boss to the stage. She began twisting the ends of her hair, a sign she was nervous. If only she could be in Clyde’s reassuring arms again. There, she felt secure. Here, she felt trapped—even claustrophobic—amongst the crowd.

  Jared adjusted his headset. “Good evening, everyone. Thank you all for coming out tonight to our 42nd annual hospital gala.”

  The crowd clapped, even cheered. Lily Ann realized that the crowd was excited to be at this annual event.

  Jared raised his hands and lowered them. The excited crowd sat. “Usually after dinner we begin our auction, but tonight we have an exciting twist. Ten years ago our government decided to pull thousands of dollars of funding from us. They allocated funds toward the military and a few larger hospitals around the US. We got hit harder than most and our level of care plummeted.”