Clyde pointed to the plaid loveseat in front of an open fireplace. “I’ll be a few minutes. In the meantime, enjoy the fire.” He reached for a couple mugs and tore open two instant hot chocolate packets.
“Even though I’m working long hours at the hospital, the atmosphere is totally different here than Seattle. People, in general, are friendlier. Complete strangers greet you in the grocery store. It’s so refreshing.” Lily Ann’s eyes were mesmerized by the amber flames and the crackling of the wood. She glanced around the room and noticed several pictures of Maria on the wall. The cabin was not overly cluttered, but there was enough furniture to make the space feel homey.
Clyde poured the boiling water into the mugs and stirred in the chocolate powder. He then topped them off with a drizzle of cream. “It’s been a while since I sipped a hot chocolate this early in the morning.” He passed Lily Ann her mug and sat next to her on the loveseat.
“This is truly wonderful, thank you.” She cupped her hands around the hot mug and breathed in the chocolate aroma.
“Go ahead, Lil. What’s eating you up inside?” Clyde placed his mug on the log coffee table and wrapped his strong arm around Lily Ann’s shoulder.
Lily Ann felt at ease in his arms. Ever since the gala, she dreamt of being in his arms again, but still she hesitated to talk. Would he run after this? She placed her mug next to Clyde’s and began twisting her hair, then glanced up to see his calm, reassuring face.
“It must be hard to open up when so many men have shut you down. Lil, I’m not going anywhere. There is nothing that will stop me from loving you.” Clyde gently rubbed her shoulder.
Lily Ann was in shock. There is nothing that would stop him from loving me. She sighed and struggled to find where to start. “I don’t know how to tell you. I haven’t told anyone before besides my mom. I haven’t ever been with a guy past the first date to bring it up.” She shook her head. “I’m forty, and I’ve never been…well…this is not coming out right.” Her trembling hands covered her face.
Clyde took her hands in his. “If it makes it easier, you don’t even have to look at me. You can rest your head on my shoulder and stare at the fire. Anything can be worked out. Say whatever you have to and don’t try to sugar coat it.”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake, you’re right.” She adjusted herself and stared at the flickering flames. “I…I’m barren.” Hearing the words out loud pierced her heart. Tears began to flood her eyes, but she quickly pushed them back. Not again. He’s going to think I cry at everything.
“It’s okay. I can work around that. God has placed you in my life for a reason, and He always makes everything work out. What we think is an obstacle, He sees as an opportunity.”
Lily Ann pulled back from his shoulder. “You mean you’re not going to make some excuse and leave?”
“Why? There is no need. I’m in love with you and I accept everything that you bring into this relationship. I do apologize if I’m moving fast, but I don’t see the point of dragging the truth out. What I do admire is your honesty.”
“I want to have a child of my own to—”
“Love.” Clyde finished her sentence and held her tighter. “We both long for the same desire. God has placed you here with me and He hears our cries. Let’s give this matter over to Him so we don’t have to carry the burden.”
Lily Ann was in a state of disbelief. She felt his love emanate through his words and actions. Never before had she heard such wise words spoken to her like he did. God, I don’t know you, but yet I have this feeling you are here. I need to witness more of you.
Her body melted into his arms.
“I love you, Lil.” Clyde caressed her head.
Lily Ann shivered. “I’m in love with you, too.” She raised her head and locked her eyes with his.
“I would love to kiss you.”
She was sure Clyde could hear her heart leaping out through her chest. She wanted to be kissed so desperately, but her stomach danced, and her nerves were paralyzing her body. “Clyde, I…I would love to be kissed, but I’ve never been—”
“Shh…then let this first kiss be the most special moment for you.” Clyde ran his hand down Lily Ann’s cheek and curved it around her jaw, gently pulling her face closer to his.
She closed her eyes. Her head was spinning as his lips brushed hers. A slow tender kiss on her virgin lips sent fireworks through her body.
Clyde breathed deeply. He slid his hand down her neck over her many scars. He paused and leaned forward to whisper in her ear. “Your scars make you beautiful. I love you the way you are.” His arms enveloped her body. He stroked the back of her head, her silky brunette hair slipping between his fingers. “I’m so blessed that you came to Alaska.”
She felt his love. As she soaked in the moment, she knew she would never be lonely again.
Four’s deep bark startled them, sending Lily Ann leaping off the couch.
“Calm down, Lil,” Clyde laughed, “My dad must be here.” He stood next to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “You’re going to have so much fun today, I promise.” He glanced down at the cold hot chocolate. “So much for the hot drink.”
Lily Ann smiled. “We can always reheat it.”
Clyde strode over to the front door and let Four dash out to greet his father. “Hey, dad. Give us a second to get our winter gear on.”
“You bet, son,” Henry hollered back.
Clyde closed the door and passed Lily Ann her winter gear. “I hope we see plenty of wildlife today. The sun is out and there should be lots of animals sunning themselves.”
“I’m so excited. I would have never imagined myself sitting in a sled being pulled by a team of dogs.” Lily Ann zipped up her jacket. “Am I going to be warm enough?”
“Sure, you have everything you need. I’ll wrap you up with a bear hide, so you’ll stay warm.” Clyde reached for the hide. “I’m heading outside to help my dad with the last few things. When you’re ready, come on out.”
“Sure thing, I will be out in a few minutes.” Through the window, Lily Ann watched Clyde greeting his dad with a high-five. They had a special relationship, she could tell. She tugged off her snow pants, wishing she had thought about using the restroom before she suited herself up. She used the moment alone to send her mom a quick text.
I feel like I’m living a dream. In short, Clyde kissed me. It was magical. My first kiss from someone who loves me. He told me he loved me. Mom, I’m in love. True love.
Lily Ann tossed her cell on the kitchen table and scurried to the restroom. She glanced in the mirror, fixed up her hair, and adjusted her turtleneck sweater, noticing that Clyde had pushed down her turtleneck to show her scars. I can’t believe I’ve met a man who accepts me as I am. Her face was glowing. Better not keep them waiting.
Her phone dinged. You have to call me. I want to know all the details and meet this man. I’m the happiest mom alive. You deserve to be loved. If he truly loves you, the burn marks won’t matter.
Lily Ann grabbed her snow pants and jacket. She picked up her toque and mitts off the floor. Before she slid on her mitts, she sent another text.
Agreed. Will text later. Heading out with his dad’s dogsled team for an adventure in the woods. Love you!
She pulled her Muck boots on and dashed out of the cabin, forgetting her cell on the kitchen table.
~
“You have a grin on your face I haven’t seen in years,” Henry remarked as he doubled checked the team’s harnesses and tug lines.
Clyde placed the remaining items in the sled and made a cozy spot for Lily Ann to sit. “Is it that obvious?”
Henry glanced up, “Yeah.”
“I’m not going to hide it; I love her. Never thought I’d find another woman to love.”
Henry jerked at a tug line. “Son, I’m proud of you for moving on. When your mom passed away, I went into a state of depression and swore I would never love again. But that’s not how to deal with it. I was a stubborn and foolis
h man. Looking back I wish I’d done things differently.”
“Don’t beat yourself up. You raised me with good morals. She passed when I was sixteen and you were there for me. And look at you now—reigning musher champ at seventy-six. You’re unbeatable.”
“Yeah, but I miss a woman’s love.”
“Understandable.”
“She must be extra special to win you over so quickly.”
Clyde slapped his dad’s back and pointed towards the cabin. “Here she comes. You can finally meet her.” He took her mittened hand. “Lily Ann, meet my dad, Henry.”
She blushed and nodded toward him.
“My son has told me how wonderful you are. I’d say by his perpetual smile you’re a keeper.” Henry slapped his son on the back.
Clyde walked around the dogsled. “Everything is ready to go. Lily Ann, your seat is here. Let me help you.” He took her hand to support her while she adjusted herself in the tight seating area.
“The dogs are ready to go. June is your lead dog today. I’ll be back around mid-afternoon to pick them up. You two and Four have fun.” Henry waved, climbed in his truck, and left.
Lily Ann nestled herself into the sled. “This feels so weird.”
“You’ll get used to it. Once we get moving, you’ll forget all about how cramped you are.” Clyde tossed the bear hide over her and tucked in the sides. “This will keep you warm.”
“I can’t wait.” Lily Ann adjusted her legs. “I’m ready.”
“So am I. Let’s start our adventure.” Clyde raised his voice and hollered at the dogs, “Mush!”
The dog team took off down the driveway followed by Four racing on the left side of the sled. Clyde glanced down at Lily Ann who was gripping the sides. He chuckled to himself and yelled out, “Gee.” The dogs turned right, following a winding path near the river. Clyde had to duck to avoid being swatted by low tree branches. They sledded for about twenty minutes before he hollered, “Whoa.” He stopped and pointed at a moose in the distance. “Lil, do you see it on the edge of the bank?”
“No, where?”
Clyde knelt down beside her and pointed. “Look past the river. It’s sunning itself on the bank.”
“Wow, what a sight. It’s huge.” Lily Ann tried to sit up.
Four leapt next to Clyde with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. “Good boy, Four. You’re in great shape.” Clyde rubbed his dog’s ears. “We have about ten more minutes, Lil, till we reach our destination.” Clyde paused. “Do you hear the chickadees?”
“I do, but I don’t see them.” Lily Ann tossed her head in every direction.
He pointed. “Look in that spruce tree.”
“Oh my, they’re so pudgy and fluffy.”
“Yeah, they’re very inquisitive songbirds that stick around all year. Their actual name is the black-cap chickadee after the black on their heads. Sometimes, if you’re patient enough, they’ll even land on your hand if you have food.”
“Interesting, their chirping is uplifting. I can hear them from every direction.”
“I hear you, but we need to be off. There’s only so much daylight left, and I’ve got a magical spot to show you.” Clyde hollered out, “Mush.” The dogs instantly took off down the snowy bush path with Four barking at the sled. Within ten minutes, Clyde called the dogs to a stop.
“That didn’t take long.” Lily Ann tried to lift the bear hide off so she could stand up.
“Let me help you.” Clyde picked up the hide and draped it over one side of the sled.
Lily Ann stepped out of the sled and held her arms out. “You have got to be kidding me. The sun… the mountains…I can’t believe this. I feel as if I’m in a movie.”
Clyde stood behind Lily Ann and wrapped his arms around her waist. “This is where I go to be inspired.” He pointed to a towering mountain ridge. “It’s the shimmering snow crystals that creates the magic in the winter. Between the snow-capped mountains and the frozen winding rivers to the thick forest, I find I can clear my head with a view like this.”
“I’ve only seen this in movies. This is breathtaking.”
“But look closer. There is a pack of wolves that usually come out to sun themselves on the riverbank below us to our left.” Clyde led Lily Ann closer to the cliff’s edge. “If you look close enough, you can see them right now.” He pointed to the wolves.
“For real…wolves?” Lily Ann pasted her frightened body within Clyde’s secure arms.
“We are perfectly safe. Take a look. They’re completely content down in the river valley and we’re up here on the cliff. Nothing to worry about.” He pressed Lily Ann down into a crouching position. “The largest wolf I named Thunder. When he howls, his voice shakes the heavens.”
“Okay, as long as they stay there.” Lily Ann stood. “You’ve spent many hours here, haven’t you?”
“My mom, Kaylee, and I would hike here mostly every weekend in the summer. It’s a two-mile hike west from here to my parents’ place. I have many fond memories here with my mom, one being karate practice together.”
“Karate?”
“Yeah, my mom was an instructor before she fell ill. Man, you should have seen her in action.”
“That would have been incredible. Did you achieve your black belt?”
“Yeah, when I was thirteen.”
Lily Ann shivered. “What about your dad?”
“You’re freezing, I need to make a fire.” Clyde turned around and headed back to the sled. “Give me five minutes and I’ll have a fire blazing to keep us warm.”
“Wonderful. I’m not sure what I can do, but can I help?”
“Normally I would say sure, but I got this ready ahead of time. I knew it was going to be cold, so I’ve already split kindling and wood.” Clyde disappeared behind a few low-growing shrubs and stacked a handful of kindling in his arms and returned.
“As for my dad, he would have loved to come with us to this place, but he worked several jobs at once to provide for us.” He dropped the kindling on the snow-covered ground. “Before my mom fell ill, she ran a successful seamstress shop during the week in Anchorage and had a martial arts studio that she ran two evenings out of the week.”
“Busy woman.”
“Yeah, too busy sometimes. My dad worked as a fisherman and whatever odd jobs he could land. He made a bad decision to drop out of high school. When my mom couldn’t work anymore and had to sell the businesses, my dad had to bring in the income.”
“That must have been rough.”
Clyde paused and knelt beside Lily Ann.
“It was, but it only made him stronger. Dad went to evening school and acquired his diploma. He had renewed determination to succeed and to provide for us.”
“And now, it looks to me that you and your dad have a tight relationship.” Lily Ann adjusted her sitting position on a large rock beside Clyde.
He arranged the kindling pieces into a teepee. “Yeah we do.” Then he stuffed a handful of dried birch bark and lichen into the middle of the teepee and lit a match. The bark and lichen ignited the dry kindling on fire.
“Miss Patty told me that you lost your mom to cancer?”
“Yeah, she passed away when I was sixteen from breast cancer.” Clyde blew on the fire.
Lily Ann fidgeted. “I lost my dad and you lost your mom.” She stared at the fire. “I can’t get over how much I love the mesmerizing sound of fire.”
“It’s peaceful.” Clyde threw the last of the kindling on the fire. “We have a lot in common.” He added several larger pieces of dry spruce on the growing flames. “My mom was diagnosed with cancer when I was seven years old. I watched her struggle and witnessed her bravery as she fought through chemo.” He headed back to the sled and reached for two willow sticks and a bag of marshmallows. “At that moment I knew I had to be a doctor.”
“I totally understand.”
“Yeah, she never complained about her cancer. When she was well enough, we always hiked here. She made every moment count
with me and with my dad before she passed. My mom showed me what unconditional love looks like.”
“Moms have a way—”
“They sure do.” He embraced her. “I thank God for the time I spent with her.”
Clyde passed Lily Ann a stick with a marshmallow stuck on the end.
“Oh dear,” she said, “I’ve heard about roasting marshmallows, but I never have before.” She copied Clyde step by step.
“Before the accident, what was your life like?” He held her stick and demonstrated how to turn the marshmallow around so it would roast evenly.
“It was a pretty average childhood until the accident. My mom worked both at the office and at home. She had a demanding job, so I was on my own a lot. But when my dad was home, he played card games with me and he loved reading me stories. My dad could do the most amazing voices.” Her marshmallow turned a golden-brown color.
Clyde watched his marshmallow’s top begin to bubble.
“After the accident, my mom stayed by my side. She changed from a workaholic to a compassionate and patient mother.”
He motioned for Lily Ann to remove her marshmallow from the flames. “The love of a mother.”
“It’s so strong.”
Clyde held his marshmallow away from the flames to cool off. “I remember my mom loved to sing and dance. One time my parents were dancing in the dining room celebrating that my mom was in remission for the first time. I believe I was ten. She pulled me in to dance with them too. The glow on her face that day was magical.” He peered up at the cloud-filled sky. “Sometimes, I look up there for her.” Clyde sighed and removed his gooey marshmallow and stuffed it in his mouth. “Now that is good. The sugar rush makes me dizzy.”
Lily Ann laughed and did the same. “Oh my word, this is so good.” She reached for another marshmallow to place on her stick. “I wish my mom was here.” Lily Ann rotated her marshmallow over the fire. “She would have loved this.”
“And your relationship with your mom?” He also grabbed another marshmallow to roast.
“She’s my best friend. We always talk. In Seattle, my condo was only two blocks away. So on my days off, I’d usually hang out with her. We’ve become even closer since she retired five years ago.”
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