by Jill Shalvis
So she supposed it wouldn’t be fair to leave him behind now.
Chapter 16
#AreYouElfingKiddinMe
Lucas couldn’t help but smile at the look on Molly’s face. At the moment she was utterly transparent, and he liked where her thoughts had gone. A lot. “My aunt’s having a holiday party,” he said. “And I promised I’d show up.”
“Oh, no.” She shook her head. “No, no, no.”
“And there’s an additional problem,” he went on as if she hadn’t spoken. “I have to bring a date to save me from all the dates my family will have planted at this party for me if I show up single. The fear is real, Molly.”
She was still shaking her head.
He blew out a breath. “Please?”
She looked boggled at that, and he got it. It wasn’t often he asked for help. “You’re not afraid of anything,” she said. “I’ve seen you jump off a fifty-foot bridge to go after a suspect. And only three weeks ago, you threw yourself in front of a bullet to save a client. You’re fearless.”
“Not entirely. Turns out I’m terrified of the meddling, nosy women in my family.”
“Wow.”
“Wow in a good way, right?” he asked.
“No.”
He had to laugh. She was seriously the only woman he’d ever met who could push all his buttons and yet still make him want her. Which solved it. He’d lost his mind. “You going to help me or not?”
“By pretending to be your date?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Okay, whatever. Sure, I’ll save your ass,” she said with a martyr-like sigh. “But it’s going to cost you. Big-time.”
“What’s your price?” he asked as they took the stairs down to the courtyard.
“Oh no, you’re not getting off that easy. The price is a favor, to be named at a later date. And you can’t say no.”
“I don’t think so,” he said.
“Okay then.” She shrugged and shifted, reversing directions. “Have a good night—”
He caught her arm. Damn. She was both terrifying and incredibly impressive. If the guys could see him now, they’d be laughing their asses off. “Fine,” he said. “We’ve got a deal. A favor for a favor. But you have to really sell being my date.”
Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Sell? Sell how exactly?”
“Well . . .” He thought about that. “You could brag about me a little bit.” He smiled. “Or a lot. And rub up against me and look at me like I’m a sex god. The whole nine yards.”
She shook her head. “I’m seeing a whole new side of you here, Lucas.”
“A side you like, though, right?”
“Whatever gets you through the day,” she said.
He drove. They were out of the city and on the highway before she straightened and took a good look around, which was a testament to just how exhausted she was, working both her regular day job and moonlighting on the Bad Santa case.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“I told you. My aunt’s holiday party.” He paused and glanced over at her, hoping she wasn’t armed. He was pretty sure she wasn’t, but Joe was always armed to the teeth so he couldn’t be positive without a pat down—and the likelihood of her allowing that was slim to never. “I told you that she lives in the Sierras. On the summit, in fact.”
Molly gaped at him. “As in Donner Summit? Near Tahoe?”
“Well, not quite that far, but yeah.”
“You didn’t say it was outside the city!”
He shrugged. “You didn’t ask.”
“Oh my God.” But she didn’t say anything else, or demand he take her home, both good signs. It was snowing lightly, casting the night in a soft, white glow as they began the climb up the mountains.
“I love the mountains and especially snow,” she admitted softly, staring out the window. “It’s calm and quiet and . . .”
“And . . .”
She didn’t answer.
Romantic. He’d bet that’s what she’d been about to say and he agreed. The snow was deceptively romantic.
All of which added up to nothing but trouble.
“Do you come up here often?” she asked.
“My family loves Tahoe and spends a lot of time up here. We gather at the cabin as often as possible. Less now, though.”
“People too busy?” she asked.
He shook his head. “Josh, my brother, used to handle most of the planning of these trips. He was the perennial middle kid, the peacemaker, the gatherer. The rest of us try, but we’re no match for him.”
He had her attention now; he could feel her gaze on him. Around them, the night was so quiet. The gently falling snow was an insulator, making things very close and intimate.
“Will he be there tonight?” she asked.
“No.” He gave a small smile. “We were a pair growing up, though. A pair of instigators. If there was trouble, we managed to find it. Gave my mom gray hair early.”
She let out a small smile. “I don’t remember much about my mom, but Joe and I were a pair of troublemakers too, though Joe tried to keep me out of it and safe. Only problem was, I was good at being stealth and following him. Used to piss him off big-time.”
He let out a low laugh. “If half the things I’ve heard about Joe’s misspent youth are true, then I can see why he wouldn’t want you tagging along after him.”
Her smile congealed a little bit and he cocked his head. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“I know you now, Molly,” he said. “I know your tells. Plus you’re a shitty liar.”
She shrugged. “You’re right about Joe not wanting me to tag along after him. He hated it and worried about it, for reasons I didn’t understand at the time or I might’ve gotten smarter a lot faster.”
“Something’s happened,” he guessed quietly.
She hesitated. “Remember when I told you I was hurt because of my own stupidity?” she finally asked.
Oh shit. He had a bad feeling about this story. “Yeah.”
“Well, I wasn’t kidding. I was fourteen to Joe’s seventeen when I developed a crush on someone in his crowd, someone I thought was a friend—but wasn’t.” She paused, her breath quickening a little. “I didn’t know, but this guy and a few others were trying to convince Joe to join their gang because he had some pretty impressive . . . skills. Skills he’d been using to keep food on our table and a roof over our head.” She grimaced. “Okay, now I’m making Joe seem like a juvenile delinquent—”
“Hey, no judgment from me,” Lucas said, reaching across the console to take her hand. “I’ve seen Joe’s skills firsthand, and he’s saved my ass on the job more times than I can count. I’m grateful for him, and grateful for you that he could provide for you when you needed it. I’m just sorry it was like that for you guys.”
“My dad really did the best he could,” she said. “He just couldn’t always keep a job. People don’t understand him.”
Lucas nodded, not saying anything else, knowing that by holding his tongue she might keep talking and tell him the part of the story she was stalling with, and he very much wanted, needed, to hear it.
“Joe didn’t want to join the gang,” she said. She paused and then cleared her throat. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sweating. Can you turn down the heat?”
He quickly did so and then handed her one of the bottles of water he had stashed in the driver door pocket.
She cracked it open and drank deeply.
“Better?” he asked.
“Yeah. Thanks.”
“So . . . Joe didn’t want to join the gang,” he said casually, hoping she’d continue.
“No. Or do any of the things they wanted him to. He kept refusing, but I didn’t know any of those things. All I knew was that he got to go out whenever he wanted and not be accountable to anyone for his comings and goings, and it seemed so . . . exciting.” She sighed. “So when one of the guys started paying attention to me, I was flattered.” She clos
ed her eyes.
Yeah, he’d been right. He was really going to hate this story. He pulled into his aunt’s driveway and parked. Leaving the engine on for the defrost, he turned to her. “Can you tell me what happened?”
She put her free hand low on her belly, as if it hurt. The memories appeared to have her every muscle tense and she was indeed clammy. He cracked her window an inch to get her some air and she sent him a grateful look before closing her eyes again.
“They used me to try to make Joe steal a car,” she said.
His hand, still holding hers, squeezed reflexively. “Used you how, Molly?” he asked, still speaking very low, very calm, but he was just about as far from calm as he could get.
She opened her eyes and met his gaze. “They kidnapped me. Hell,” she said bitterly. “The truth is that I went along willingly, thinking Darius wanted to be with me. But it wasn’t like that. They held me in an abandoned building, waiting for Joe to do as they demanded.”
She wasn’t the only one sweating now. He was as well. He’d worked enough abduction cases to know all the things that had likely happened to her. No way had she come out of that situation the same person as she’d gone in. And she’d been only fourteen. Just a kid, one who’d already had a rough enough life without this having happened to her. “Did Joe steal the car to get you back?”
“No. Instead, he tore apart the city looking for me. And he found me too, but it took three days.”
“Jesus.” Lucas brought their joined hands up to his chest, which was so tight now it was possible he was going to stroke out. “They hurt you.”
“Yes, but not in the way you think.” She swallowed hard and rolled her window all the way down, sticking her head out and gulping in some air. “Sorry,” she said when she’d rolled the window back up. “Thinking about those days makes me feel like throwing up.”
He understood. He felt a little bit like throwing up himself, imagining her as a young, defenseless teen facing down a gang of thugs on her own. For three fucking days.
“Honestly,” she said squeezing his hand. “It’s not as bad as you’re imagining.”
She was trying to comfort him. At just the thought, his throat burned with emotion, and his eyes did too. “You don’t have to tell me—”
“I think I should,” she murmured, searching his face. “I wasn’t—They didn’t touch me. Darius kept me separated in a room away from the rest of the guys. He told me that as long as I stayed quiet and didn’t cause any trouble, I wouldn’t be hurt.”
With every fiber of his being, Lucas wanted her to tell him that the asshole punk had kept his word.
“But the problem was,” she said, “I wasn’t exactly born with the sit down and shut up gene.” She shook her head. “I tried, but I just couldn’t do it.”
No matter how long ago this had been, if she told him that they’d laid a finger on her, he’d single-handedly hunt every one of them down and break every bone in their bodies without remorse.
“I knew Joe would be looking for me,” she said, “and that he’d find me. But on the third day, I couldn’t wait any more. When Darius came in and tossed me a bottle of water, I picked it up and chucked it at his head. It knocked him over and he hit his head on the way down and was out cold. I stole the handcuff keys from his pocket, unlocked my cuffs and went out the third story window, intending to climb down one of the two trees that were nearly up against the building.”
Lucas felt his chest nearly burst with pride and a nameless emotion, both of which threatened to overcome him. The contrast of Molly’s tough-girl strength and her not completely hidden vulnerability called to something deep inside him. “Nicely done.”
A small smile of pride curved her lips. “Problem was, I was a little weak and off my game, and when I jumped for one of the branches, I missed.” She paused. “I fell about twenty-five feet and broke my back in two places, amongst other things.”
The air slipped right out of his lungs. “Jesus, Molly.”
“Yeah. And I hit the ground right at Joe’s feet. He’d finally narrowed down the location I’d been held. If I’d just stayed quiet and pliant as Darius had asked, Joe would’ve gotten to me.”
Lucas felt sick all the way to his gut on how she’d suffered. And he was certain there was more to this horrific tale, that she’d left out a lot of details. Reaching out, he cupped her face. “Don’t you dare blame yourself. Joe would hate that.”
“Right, because he already blames himself enough,” she said. “We’re really quite the pair.” She stared at him. “Stop.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop looking at me like I’m still broken. I’m not. I’ve had three surgeries, and even though the nerves in my right leg are still damaged, almost everything else is relatively fixed.”
He let out a low laugh. “Molly, I’m not looking at you like you’re broken. I’m looking at you like you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”
She sent him a look of disbelief.
“Amazing and strong and resilient and . . . amazing.”
“You already said that,” she whispered.
“It bears repeating,” he whispered back and then started to lean in, intent on kissing her.
Just as the front door of the cabin opened.
In all their perfection of timing, his family spilled out, because apparently there was some sort of radar in the Knight gene that let them know when the prodigal son returned.
“Oh boy,” Molly whispered. “There’s a lot of them.”
“Yeah.”
“You’re really going to owe me big for this one,” she said, sounding like herself again.
In that moment, Lucas knew he’d do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, wherever she wanted. Because in spite of his determination to hold back from the smartest, most resilient, most resourceful, most incredible woman he’d ever been with, he was in. All in.
Chapter 17
#PassTheEggnog
Realizing Lucas’s family was watching her and Lucas from the well-lit cabin porch, Molly felt the first licks of panic. She knew this was just paying back a favor, that it wasn’t real, but still. If telling him about her past had been an eight on the one-to-ten scale of difficulty, meeting his family was a twelve. Twelve hundred. She drew a deep breath and concentrated on the gently falling snow and the incredible beauty of the flakes floating out of the sky seemingly one by one.
Lucas turned her to face him. “Problem?”
“You guys all spend a lot of time together, right?”
“They spend a lot of time together. I’m not around nearly as much.” He held her gaze. “I’m going to ask you again. Do we have a problem?”
She bit her lower lip. “So I’m pretending to be what exactly, an online hookup? A friend? I want to be prepared for any questions.”
He laughed. “An online hookup?”
She shrugged, fighting an odd defensive feeling deep in her gut, one she didn’t want to examine too closely. “Figured that’s more believable than a date or girlfriend. So which is it going to be?”
“Since they’ve already met you, I think it’s safe to leave the online hookup off the table,” he said dryly. “And if I say girlfriend, you’ll run for the hills. Let’s just go with a date.”
Would she run for the hills? She tried it out in her head, the word girlfriend, and felt a genuine panic ball bounced around in her gut to go with the annoying defensiveness.
Dammit. She hated when he was right.
“Molly.” He cupped her face, his amusement fading. “What’s going on?”
Lie. “I don’t like lying to your family. They’re nice.” And actually, nothing about that was a lie after all.
“They’re also insane,” he said. “Listen to me, okay? This has nothing to do with our reality and everything to do with just keeping my family happy and off my back. And like on any covert op that requires a fabricated backstory, you go with the easiest, most natural thing you can come up with. Something clo
se enough to the truth that it rolls off the tongue. We work at the same place and we’re on a date. Just a simple date. Period.”
Yeah. That made the most sense, of course. But she couldn’t deny that a small part of her, a very small part, actually might’ve liked to try girlfriend on for size regardless, just to see how it fit on her.
“Molly?” He let his thumb slightly glide along her jaw.
“Yeah. Got it.” She pulled back. “A simple date. Like our second or third?”
“Sure,” he said.
She nodded. “Fine. But there’s something you should know.”
“What’s that?”
“I don’t put out on a second date. Or a third.”
He flashed her a panty melting smile. “Bet I could change your mind,” he said in a voice that matched his smile.
“Nope,” she said, shaking her head. “Once I make up my mind, I can’t be budged. I’m like the Rock of Gibraltar, I—”
He kissed her. Quick, no tongue, just the appetizer on the menu of Lucas Knight’s variety of kisses, but quite effective all the same. When he pulled back, she opened her eyes, dazed, and asked, “What were we talking about?”
With a grin, he got out of the car and came around for her. They headed up the walk and Molly watched as Lucas’s mom broke from the pack and went straight for her son, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tight, whispering something in his ear.
He hugged her back just as tight, closing his eyes for a beat as he nodded, a look of such love and acceptance on his face that Molly just stared. She’d never seen that expression on him before. It softened him, made him seem young and more carefree.
When his mom pulled back, she turned to Molly and gave her the same sort of hug, and it felt so genuine that she found herself returning the hug in kind. Then Laura and Sami did the same before introducing her to a gaggle of others who all seemed to enjoy each other’s company. Aunts. More cousins. Laura’s husband, Will, was there with what looked like a two-ish-year-old in a backpack on his shoulders, and more—although not Lucas’s dad, who apparently had gotten held up in London. And crowded as it was, it was also . . . lovely. And foreign. For as long as she could remember, it’d been just her and Joe and her dad, just the three of them. Yes, supposedly they had some distant relatives back East. Her mom’s cousins. Her dad’s family. But her dad hadn’t liked any of them and had scared them off a long time ago. Joe had brought Kylie into their small fold and that was great. But their little family unit still had nothing on this huge one.