by Lilly Black
As she knelt down to cup her hands and take a drink beside the cat, in the distance, she noticed a light that shouldn't have been there. She wondered if she should go back. It could be anyone or anything, and even though she trusted that Evil would try to protect her, she was also afraid for the cat, who would be no match for a bullet.
She took out her binoculars for a better look and found that the light was a flickering flame in the window of a small shack built against the mountainside. The entire structure was not even as big as her master bathroom, but even so, she was sure it hadn't been there before. She had walked this property hundreds of times and never seen it, yet from the weathered boards, it looked like it had stood for a century.
With her gun at the ready, she walked toward it cautiously, watching her every step, trying to keep the sound to a minimum even though the forest floor was blanketed with dead leaves. Not even the stealthy cat could avoid them, and though Olivia knew this was probably a bad decision, she couldn't stop herself. Evil followed her lead, pausing when she paused, walking when she walked, and it took them a good ten minutes at their creeping pace get close enough to look in the window with the binoculars.
She saw a stone fireplace inside and dried herbs hanging on the walls around it. Then a face suddenly popped up, dominating the entire field of vision. Olivia froze as an old woman looked in her direction, but thinking the crone couldn't possibly see her through the window in the dark, she didn't look away until she heard Evil growl. She turned to the cat to shush her then quickly looked back up and was startled to find that the face was not in the window at all. The woman was standing in the path, blocking her view of the shack altogether.
Olivia abruptly dropped the binoculars, letting them hang around her neck as she raised her gun, but the woman just laughed.
"Shoot me if you must, but I mean you no harm," she said, and Olivia was taken aback. The look of the shack and location made her expect the old mountain woman to have a hillbilly accent, but she barely had any accent at all.
"Who are you?" she asked.
"Who are you?"
"My name's Olivia Anders. This is my property."
"I see," the woman muttered with a disapproving glare.
"Are you all alone up here?" Olivia asked.
"There are no people with me if that's what you mean," she said cryptically. "Would you like a cup of tea? I just boiled the water before you surprised me."
"Sure," Olivia said, apprehensive but curious to see the inside of the mysterious shack. She followed the woman to the door, and when Evil came along with her, she whispered, "Wait here, Evie." The cat usually listened well, but she stood in the doorway and would not let Olivia pass.
"She's welcome to come in," the woman said, "as long as she won't bother my bird."
Olivia conceded and let the stubborn cat enter ahead of her, startled as a rooster took flight and landed on the back of one of two Adirondack-style chairs woven out of twigs and vines. Olivia tensed, knowing how much Evil liked to torment chickens, but the cat didn't even seem to notice the bird. She sniffed the air for a moment, then positioned herself protectively in front of the other chair, which the woman offered to Olivia.
Sitting at the fire now, when her eyes adjusted to the light inside the shack, she looked around. This place was like a small, rustic library with stacks upon stacks of old tomes gathering dust on weathered shelves, but perhaps most curious was the woman herself. She looked ancient, the wrinkles on her face deeply etched as they wound around petite features, her lips so thin and washed out, they barely appeared as lips at all, and her eyes so pale and cloudy, it was hard to distinguish where she was really looking. Tied around her worn, muslin dress, was a tattered apron that she wiped her hands on as she made tea in two cups fashioned out of scorched wood, adding a pinch of dripping honeycomb into each.
"Here you are," she said, handing Olivia hers, and a little afraid to drink it given the weird circumstances, she brought it to her mouth and pretended. But the taste against her lips was so sweet and enticing, as they began to talk, she found herself absentmindedly sipping it anyway, a hundred questions swirling through her mind, including the most simple and obvious.
What was her name, and how long had she been living there?
Of course, the woman didn't want to bother with those things.
"Are there not more important matters in the world today?" she asked. "Why are you out wandering the woods in the middle of the night?"
"I have some difficult decisions to make," Olivia admitted.
"Heavy is the head that wears the crown," she said and as she looked Olivia directly in the eye, her face seemed so familiar, Olivia was frustrated that she couldn't figure out why.
"It's not like that. I'm nobody's ruler."
"You are a queen. It's your destiny," she said, "and the queen does not concern herself with the opinions of peasants."
"Are you mocking me?" Olivia asked, confused and offended as that last statement flew in the face of everything she believed.
"You didn't run away to a mountaintop because you wanted to rule over others, but it's the role that has been thrust upon you. I've seen the wall go up. I've seen people come to join you. I am not mocking you. I am trying to ease your burden. A queen must do what she thinks is right for her people, and if your leadership is keeping them alive, that's all you owe them. Let them survive outside your walls if they don't like it."
She had a harsh way of looking at things, but Olivia understood her point. She was never going to be able to please all of the people, but she could keep them safe and alive. That was her priority.
"What about you?" Olivia asked. "You'd be welcome inside the wall. No one would bother you if you don't want to be bothered, but you'd be safe."
"I'm safe here," she said.
"You do know about the dead, right?"
"I've seen the dead walk on this mountain. I've walked amongst them. I have no fear," she said.
"You've walked amongst them?" Olivia asked, feeling hopeful that this woman possessed some ancient wisdom that could help the people of the Deadfall, but her response instantly extinguished that likelihood.
"A protection spell," she explained, and Olivia did a terrible job hiding her disappointment. "I can see you don't believe me. Perhaps you should try it for yourself."
She opened an old book with yellowed pages and leafed through it until she found the spell she wanted, ripped it out, and handed it to Olivia. "Here. I've used it so many times, I know it by heart. Try it, and you'll see." Olivia folded the paper with the ornately handwritten words on it and zipped it up in the inside pocket of her jacket with no real intention of ever looking at it again, but useless or not, it was the thought that counted.
"Thank you," she said. "Is there anything I can offer you in return? If not our protection, do you need supplies?"
"The forest provides for me, but I could use a laying hen if you can spare one."
"I'll bring it myself," Olivia promised. "It may take a day or two."
"I will be in your debt," she said, then with a slight smirk, she added, "my Queen."
As the sun rose, Olivia made her way back down to the compound contemplating the advice of the strange woman living on her property. Perhaps the time would come when keeping information secret from the community was the right choice, but for now, she decided it was not the best course of action. She did, however, take the advice about not concerning herself with the opinions of others, starting with her friends who were convinced that it would be best to let June's false accusation against Jobe stand. Olivia could not do that.
And, technically, Olivia was queen.
At breakfast, once everyone gathered in the lodge, she stood up in front, clanging her glass with a fork to get their attention, and nobody knew what was coming.
"I need to talk to you all about yesterday," she began once their eyes were on her. "There are things you don't know, and I've realized that we cannot build a healthy society if you're ask
ed to vote without being given the whole story."
June felt her heart leap into her throat as Olivia spoke, and though she wanted to slink out the door, she was too afraid to move.
"The first thing you need to understand is that Jim Connors would have killed Jobe regardless of what I'm about to say. He didn't kill Jobe because he thought Jobe raped his wife. Jim Connors killed Jobe because he was a violent man involved in a religious cult. The reason I'm telling you this is because I need you all to forgive June for what I'm going to tell you next. I also need you to forgive me." Olivia swallowed hard, nervous as hell about what she was about to admit, but with all eyes on her, she couldn't stop now.
"Jobe Stricklan did not rape anyone to the best of my knowledge," she said finally, and though she had expected gasps from the room, she was taken aback by the sheer volume as she anxiously forced herself to go on.
"It was a misunderstanding," she began, pausing until they quieted down. "It was a misunderstanding, and I did not handle it properly. I believed the stories of the eye witnesses because they believed in what they saw, and what they saw was an image of rape that was perpetuated by Jobe's rough handling and June's brainwashing from the cult she's been a part of since she was a little girl."
As briefly as she could, Olivia explained what June was raised to believe about sex and rape, and she told them about the irrationally intense fear of Hell that had compelled her to scream for help when she was caught with Jobe.
"June Connors should be in a cell!" one man called out, and as others expressed their agreement, June burst into tears. Dani put her arms around her, staring furiously at Olivia for making this decision without consulting anyone, but Olivia pressed on, shouting down the crowd.
"Everyone! Please!" she demanded their attention. "Let me remind you that her husband killed Jobe for adultery, not rape. She never told him she was raped. She never actually told anyone she was raped, and yesterday she confessed everything to us. I assure you, she would not have let us murder an innocent man." As the crowd began to roar again, Dani stepped in.
"Hey! Listen up, y'all!" she cried from the back of the room. "June doesn't deserve this! You don't know what she and her children have been through! They've been in a cult, cut off from the world we all used to live in, and abused by that son-of-a-bitch for more than thirteen years! She doesn't need or deserve your condemnation! What she needs from us is help...understanding...guidance. She and those poor, little boys have been to hell and back."
Olivia looked at Dani and smiled before she reclaimed the floor.
"Dani's right," she said. "June has been in a situation most of us only read about or see in movies, and she made a mistake that she's deeply sorry for. But her mistake wasn't the one that could have cost Jobe his life. That was on me. Jobe Stricklan was a con man, and it was easy for me to believe he could be a rapist as well. I was wrong not to consider all of the possibilities before bringing this issue before you, and I swear it will never happen again. I am truly sorry for my part, and I hope you can find a way to forgive me."
With that, Olivia left the room, and though Alek's first inclination was to follow her, he realized it was more important to stay and hear what the people were saying about her. He listened quietly, trying to be as unobtrusive as possible so no one would censor themselves on his account, and he was surprised by the reception. Although there were a few men who used it as an opportunity to say Olivia should not be in charge, they were quickly shut down as most everyone else was praising her for her honesty and claiming that her ability to admit mistakes made her a great leader.
Liana found herself feeling jealous. No one thought of "General Navarro" like that. She was the mean bitch who wanted to make them do drills and march in formation. No one looked at Dani as a leader either, though perhaps more than anything else, it had to do with the fact that she was the only one running around the apocalypse in full, flawless makeup. As for June, she was glad the focus was on Olivia because she just wanted to make a quick, unnoticed exit, but that was not going to happen.
The first person to see her heading toward the door was Rena, and though she was generally their resident socially awkward nerd, she wanted to make sure June knew that she understood. She rushed over to her and wrapped her arms around her, hugging her tightly. Next Penny joined in, then Brittani, and soon, June was surrounded as every woman in the community and many of the men lined up to hug her and offer their support. Alek smiled. He wanted to be pissed at Olivia for making the choice without him, but he was so thoroughly enamored of how she brought everyone together on the heels of yesterday's tragedy, he couldn't maintain any anger. He went looking for her and found her sitting at her desk in the office.
"The people love you," he said, moving to stand behind her chair. He reached over her shoulder for her hand, and she wove her fingers around his, holding on tightly.
"I never wanted this," she admitted. "I never wanted to be in charge of anyone."
"That's why you're perfect for the job," he whispered, resting his chin atop her head. He meant every word because he had come to believe that those who actively seek power are inherently unfit to wield it, and Olivia could not possibly want it less.
June's Journal
Day 19
I haven't been able to sleep.
My son killed his father, and he seems no worse for it. He feels no guilt, and my other sons feel no sense of loss. I've talked to them, and I'm making them all talk to Dani because I fear that this could cause psychological damage down the line, but my children believe that he got what he deserved. Elijah - my precious, innocent, little six-year-old baby - told me that he was so scared when Jimbo loaded us into that truck to leave that he planned to sneak off and try to find his way back to Olivia's the first chance he got. He said living here is the only time in his life he's felt safe. There are corpses trying to eat us, and that feels safer to my child than being with his father.
I didn't know how bad the abuse had gotten, and even now, I'm not sure they've told me everything. I knew Jimbo was hard on them, but I didn't realize he was beating them as much as they say. Then I saw poor Noah's face after what his father did to him in the forest.
"He usually just hits us in places where it won't show," Noah explained, "but last night, it didn't matter anymore because he planned for me to die in the woods." Jimbo blamed him for allowing Jobe to live in our cabin because Noah was supposed to be the man of the house in his absence. He's a twelve-year-old boy, and Jobe treated him better than his father ever did. I just can't believe I was so caught up in my own pain that I failed to see that my children were suffering...or maybe I didn't want to see it. I've spent so much of my life so afraid - afraid of Jimbo, afraid of the devil, afraid of God.
And then there's Jobe. I feel horrible about what I did to him. I've been praying on it, but I can't make peace with it. I understand why I did it, and I understand that it's why the community seems to forgive me. I just don't know how I can ever forgive myself. Everything was wrong about what I did. Everything was selfish. I should have just been satisfied that Jimbo wasn't here to rape me, but I couldn't stop myself from wanting to be with Jobe.
I'm not a bad person. I just wanted to know what every woman in the world but me seems to know. Just once. I wanted to feel beautiful, desirable...sexy. But I was so stupid. I thought if it looked like Jobe wasn't giving me a choice, then I could trick God. Then when Dani and Alek busted in, I knew if I didn't react like he was forcing me, God would know. But God knew already. He knows everything. I just wish I knew what I did to deserve the life I've lived. It would have been so much easier to be a heathen, but I did everything by the book, and the one time I stumbled, people ended up dead.
I'm so sorry, Jobe. You may not have been a perfect man, but you were just trying to make me happy, and look what I did to you. I hope if you can see me from Heaven, you read this and know how I feel. If I could do it over again knowing what I know now, I would do it differently. I would never have let Alek bea
t you up, and when Jimbo showed up at our cabin, I would have figured something out so things would have ended up better.
And now I'd do anything just to be forgiven - by Jobe, by my sons, by God. I never meant for any of this to happen. I've made terrible mistakes, and I'm so, so very sorry.
Day 30
Early in the morning, everyone at the compound was going about their regular daily routines, and Olivia was in the henhouse collecting eggs for breakfast. As their leader, she could have found someone else to take on that task, but it was important to her to maintain her connection to the animals. She never wanted to lose who she was and become the queen the strange lady in the woods said she was destined to be. Later today, she would deliver the hen to the old woman as promised, then after that, she intended to forget all about that shack and the disturbing predictions she heard there. Since she still had moments when she believed that the spell they cast in Pittsburgh had come to pass, on the off chance that those were actually her moments of clarity, she didn't want to expose herself to the temptation of casting more spells.
But Dani did.
After Noah killed his father, the community decided that everyone should have a session or two with their resident PhD in psychology, and she found herself relieved of the manual labor she so hated. Around noon, with a little free time between appointments, she had set out to spy on Jax when she saw Olivia heading up the hill from the barn carrying a box with a hole in it. She rushed to catch up because, although Olivia had only mentioned the strange woman in the woods to Alek, Dani had overheard the conversation, lingering just outside the room as she often did, trying to feed her paranoia about Jax.
"What's in the box?" she asked.
"Nothing special," Olivia said. Then the box clucked, and Dani raised an eyebrow. "It's a chicken."
"And where are you taking the chicken?"
Olivia sighed. She hadn't really rehearsed what she would say if anyone questioned her because usually no one did.