Her Deepest Fear

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Her Deepest Fear Page 9

by Kelly Utt


  “You said robbed, right?” Cate managed to ask. “If we were robbed, why did they destroy the TV instead of taking it?“ Cate was proud of herself for keeping enough of a level head to have asked.

  “Good question,” Neil said, agreeing with Cate. “Perhaps I should rephrase that. I suppose we should just say that your house was broken into, rather than saying it was robbed. We won’t know for sure until you provide us a complete inventory of everything that was inside.”

  Teams of people in police department uniforms walked in and out of Cate’s house, some carrying bags of evidence with them. Others took photos with loud flashes. Cate felt violated at having all of these people rifling through her family’s personal things. She didn’t like strangers being in their personal space. As if they hadn’t already been through enough.

  “Who are all these people?“ she asked Neil. “Why are they in my house?“

  “Some of them are part of our forensics team,” Neil explained. “They’re dusting the house for prints and collecting other evidence which will hopefully provide DNA from the intruder. Others are detectives, like me, who are recording details of the crime scene to try and make sense of what happened here.“

  “Isn’t this all a bit much for a break-in?” Cate asked.

  Neil took Cate by the arm and guided her to a quiet part of the living room where they wouldn’t be overheard. He leaned down and spoke softly, his piercing blue eyes threatening to make Cate go weak in the knees. Cate hated being so susceptible to Neil’s charms, but having him talk to her like this, over to the side, made her feel special.

  “We’re working a larger case here,” he said. “We don’t think this was just a break-in. There’s almost certainly more to it. We don’t know how the pieces add up yet, but we will figure them out in due time.“

  Cate did her best to remain calm and collected, both for her own sake and because she didn’t want Neil to think she was weak. She leaned back against the wall near where they were standing and closed her eyes as she tried to think. It was nearly ten o’clock by now and she’d had a very long day. She wondered who could have done this. And why. The only thing that made any sense to her now was the realization that she and her kids truly were in danger. She hated to think what might have happened if they had been home. Her mind reeled as she tried to figure out where they could take refuge. Her parents’ house had seemed like a safe place, but after seeing the man her father had to chase off in the rainstorm tonight, she wasn’t so sure anymore.

  “Cate,” Neil said quietly. He sounded like he didn’t want anyone else to hear what he was about to say. “We’re going to have to ask you more questions. I want you to be prepared for what’s to come.”

  “More questions?” Cate asked. She could hear her voice shaking as the words came out. She could tell that the police suspected her involvement. It made her feel sick inside. She began to think that she really did need to get a lawyer.

  “Yes, I’m afraid so,” Neil replied. “There’s no avoiding it.

  “Can that wait until the morning, at least?“ Cate asked. It had been an incredibly long day and she didn’t know how much more she could take. She needed until the morning to get herself together. She needed to determine how she would respond. She needed to phone a lawyer.

  “Probably, yes,“ Neil said. “I’ll see what I can do to delay things. But I want you to be prepared. They’re building a case and, I know this is hard to hear, but they have evidence that points to you having had some involvement in your husband‘s death.”

  “They?“ Cate asked, beginning to feel angry. “Aren’t you part of that group?”

  Neil looked hurt, but Cate continued, her voice getting louder. She didn’t care if her anger made Neil upset. She wasn’t so sure he was on her side anyway.

  “You are an investigator with the Rosemary Run Police Department, correct?”

  “It isn’t like that,” Neil said, raising a finger to encourage Cate to lower her voice. He stepped closer to her and she got a whiff of his aftershave again. His alluring, masculine smell made it hard for her to stay mad at him.

  “Look,“ Neil said. Cate could tell he was trying to be kind. At least, she thought so. “We’re almost done here. I’ll hang around afterward and we will be able to talk more then. Sound okay?“

  Cate liked the idea of being able to talk to Neil alone. She wanted to tell him about the man that her dad had chased off earlier in the evening. “Yes,“ she said. “I have something I’ll want to say.“

  It took nearly two more hours before police investigators were finished sorting through and collecting evidence from the Brady family home. It was almost midnight and Cate was more exhausted than she thought she had ever been in her life. She wasn’t sure she was going to make it in to work on time tomorrow, so she emailed her boss, Laura, to let her know that she expected to need ongoing flexibility with her day-to-day schedule. Cate also messaged the kids’ school, because she knew they weren’t likely to make it there at all tomorrow. They didn’t have clean clothes over at James and Rebecca‘s. Cate would need to take them a bag or else bring them home to clean up and get dressed. After the evening they’d all had, she decided it would be best for them to sleep in and take it easy. Rebecca was an accountant who worked primarily from home on her own time. She would probably be able to adjust her schedule to hang out with the kids in the morning. Cate hated to ask Rebecca to extend herself in that way, but she needed the help.

  Once again, their lives had come to a grinding halt. They would need to stop and collect themselves as they tried to figure out next steps. Cate resented the way her family was being tossed about from one dramatic scene to another. Their formerly peaceful lives had turned into anything but. Cate hardly knew which threat to address first. She felt like she was working blind, stumbling through a fog that was so thick and so enveloping she couldn’t see her way out.

  Neil kept his promise and stayed after the others had left. He saw his colleagues out and told them he’d file his report in the morning after he wrapped some things up. As he closed the door and turned around to face Cate, she began to feel conflicted. She wanted him to stay. She wanted to be near him. But she didn’t want to do anything that would seem inappropriate or that might implicate her further. It was probably best to keep things business-like with the police department. Although, when Neil Fredericks looked at her with those blue eyes, Cate feared it was already too late for that.

  “There,“ Neil said. “Now it’s just you and me. Let’s sit down and you can tell me whatever it is you wanted to say.”

  Cate nodded, then motioned to the sofa in the living room. Some police department employees had been sitting on it, so it was clear of debris. Cate sat down on one end and Neil sat down on the other. Cate felt a little odd to be sitting down with a handsome, single man on the living room sofa that she and Mick had picked out together. It had been in the family for years.

  “So, what do you make of this?” Cate asked. She didn’t want to start with the story about the man at her parents’ farm. She preferred to try and find out what Neil knew first. It seemed to Cate like Neil found her attractive and it occurred to her that perhaps she could use Neil’s interest to her advantage. She aimed to find out everything he knew.

  “It’s hard to say until forensic results come back,” Neil replied. “As I said, I think there’s much more to the story. And I don’t think it’s over yet.”

  “Forgive me,” Cate began, getting right to the point. “But I need to figure out how to keep my kids safe. I don’t have time for formalities and niceties. I need to know exactly what’s going on so that I can figure out what to do. Their lives are on the line here. Those three souls depend on me to look out for them. They’re not old enough to make decisions for themselves. I owe it to them to do my very best. Will you help me by telling me what you know, please?“

  Cate reached up and slowly took her long, blonde hair down from the tie that had been holding it back. Cate was a beautiful wom
an and she knew it. Although she had been married for most of her adult life, she was aware of the way men noticed her. How they watched her when they didn’t think she was looking, and how they responded to her movements. Mick had known it, too. He’d never seemed to mind. Cate liked to think that Mick would approve of her using her feminine charms if it meant gaining an advantage to keep herself and the kids safe.

  Neil looked down at the floor, absentmindedly smoothing the cushion which sat in the middle of them on the sofa. He wanted to help Cate. He was thinking about how to do it. It was the first time Neil Fredericks had found himself conflicted about his duty as a police officer and his obligation to the oath he took. He had told his partner that he would gain Cate’s trust to get her to cooperate with their investigation, but he was beginning to have feelings for her and he didn’t want to put her in harm's way. He felt confused by the feelings he was experiencing. After all, it had been only a single day that he’d spent time with Cate and had gotten to know her as more than an acquaintance. It felt like it had been much longer. Neil felt like he had known Cate Brady forever.

  Neil did know things he could tell her, if he were going to pledge his loyalty to her, that is. He began to imagine his life as something other than a police officer. He never wanted to leave the force. He had always thought of himself retiring as an investigator when he was an old man. But if it meant that he had to leave the force to gain a love who would make his life complete, he figured he would happily switch to a new profession. He thought maybe he could open his own private investigation business. Neil began to imagine what it would be like to date someone who had three grieving children to tend to. He began to imagine what it would be like to hold Cate Brady in his arms.

  “Hey, what was your maiden name?” Neil asked Cate. “Who were you before Brady?”

  “I was Cate Tatum,” she said without hesitation. “But surely you know that. You know my brother.”

  “Yeah, right,” Neil said, looking embarrassed now. He was becoming frazzled. He had surprised himself with his mistake. He felt like a giddy schoolboy, taken with a beautiful girl.

  Cate began to blush, too. The attraction between the two of them was becoming undeniable. It was magnetic. “What made you think about my maiden name?” she asked. “Are you planning to run some super-secret background check on me?“ She was kidding, but she also hoped he wasn’t actually going to do that.

  “You tell me, Cate Tatum,” Neil joked. “Should I run a super-secret background check on you?“

  Cate liked the way he was using her maiden name.

  Neil suddenly became more serious. “I’m sorry,” he said. I don’t mean any disrespect to your husband or your marriage. I shouldn’t be using your maiden name that way.”

  “It’s okay,” Cate said. And it really was. She appreciated Neil’s awareness of her feelings, but it was a thrill to be called Cate Tatum again. It made her feel young. Like life was full of possibilities.

  Neil shifted on the sofa so that one arm was leaned along the back and his body was turned towards Cate. In his new position, he was much closer to her.

  “What did you want to tell me, anyway?“ Neil asked.

  Cate had wanted to learn what Neil knew first, but he was holding back. She decided she had better go ahead and tell him about the man at her parents’ house.

  “Yeah, that,” she said, crossing one leg over the other so her body stretched further in Neil’s direction. “Something happened while I was at my parents’ farm tonight.“

  “Dare I ask what?“

  “A strange man was there. My dad chased the guy away, but wasn’t fast enough to catch him.“

  Neil lowered his eyebrows. He was obviously concerned and upset. Cate liked to see him with this expression of concern on his face. “Did you get a look at the guy?“

  “No,” Cate said. “All I can tell you is that he was about the height of my dad. The power was out and it was pitch black. Rain was pouring down and visibility was low. We were in the barn tending to the animals when lightning struck a tree outside and it came crashing down onto one wall. The goats got out of their pen and it was a big mess. My kids were scared of the dark and the storm. Thunder and lightning were all around us.”

  “I’d ask about your parents having goats because that sounds adorable, but I’m more concerned about how the strange man came into play,” Neil said, leaning forward towards Cate.

  “The goats are adorable,” Cate said with a smile. “My parents also have sheep, cows, chickens, and a cool black and white dog named Joey. Their place is a regular little farm. It’s out on Pleasant Valley Road.”

  Neil smiled in response to Cate smile. He liked seeing her face lit up. He imagined that it must light up a lot more when things aren’t so tumultuous in her life. He thought he’d like to be around to see that.

  “Nice,“ he said. “But the guy?“ Neil reached his hand which had been resting on the back of the couch out towards Cate and placed it gently on her shoulder. She turned and looked up at him with her big brown eyes. Neil let his hand linger there for a moment. He could feel his body responding to the electricity sparking between them.

  Cate broke the gaze first, looking down at the floor while she spoke. “My dad was in the doorway to the barn, preparing to go up to the house and look for a flashlight or lantern. We were all turned towards the sound of his voice because we knew that’s the direction we should watch for the light. We knew he’d be bringing it back with him when he returned. Lightning struck twice and lit up the sky so brightly that we could see everything for a moment. There in the doorway, was a man standing a short distance behind my dad.“

  “He was just standing there?” Neil asked, surprised.

  “Yes,” it was terribly frightening. I yelled at my dad to tell him someone was there. My dad didn’t hesitate. As soon as he understood what I was saying, he took off after the guy. Joey, the dog, went to, too.“

  “But they didn’t get him?”

  “No,” Cate confirmed. “The guy got a head start once he realized I’d seen him. I guess with all the rain and thunder and lightning and mud, Dad and Joey just couldn’t get to him fast enough. I had gone into the house to get my parents rifle. By the time I got back with it and caught up to my dad, we saw red taillights in the distance driving off of their property.“

  “Let me guess,” Neil said. “A dark-colored, full-size sedan?”

  “As far as I could tell, yes,” Cate said. It was too dark to confirm the color, but it was definitely a car.“

  Neil sighed heavily and appeared saddened by this news. He looked like he was very worried about Cate’s safety.

  “Are you planning to stay here alone tonight?” Neil asked, scooting forward and placing his hand on Cate’s back, between her shoulder blades.

  Cate could feel herself tremble at his touch. She tilted her head to one side, trying to keep her composure.

  “I think so, yes,” she said. “If the guy following me was in all of the places I think he was, then he could probably find me no matter where I go. He seemed to already know my patterns and movements. Besides, I have a gun here. The kids don’t know about it, but I keep a handgun locked in the top of the closet. I could get it out and sleep with it on my nightstand, just for tonight.” Cate had almost said that she and Mick kept a gun in the closet. She thought it a small victory to have left his name out and spoken only for herself.

  “I’m worried about you,” Neil said, finally articulating the words Cate had hoped to hear. “I don’t like the idea of you being alone tonight.“

  Cate leaned forward towards Neil, looking him right in his gorgeous blue eyes. She felt like she was in a strange dream. Or like she was having a dramatic out of body experience. None of this felt real. It hadn’t since Mick died. She had been thrust into an unpredictable landscape that she wasn’t equipped to navigate. She felt like a young, single woman again. The kind of woman who had only begun to get going at midnight each night. The kind of woman who was wil
ling to take risks. The kind of woman who would kiss Neil Fredricks.

  Cate opened her mouth to speak, but instead, only a soft moan came out. The attraction she felt to Neil was irresistible. Giving in to passion, Cate leaped into Neil‘s lap, her legs straddling his waist and her arms wrapping tightly around his neck. He didn’t push her away. Instead, he wrapped his large, muscular arms around her body and pulled her to him. The pair stopped short just as their lips were about to meet and looked intently into each other‘s eyes for a moment more, as if to solidify their decision. When Cate felt Neil’s lips against her own, her body relaxed for the first time in a very long time. She became putty in his hands, every touch taking her to depths she hadn’t even imagined. They took their clothes off piece by piece and made tender, passionate love on Cate’s living room sofa until they fell asleep in each other’s arms, exhausted and happy.

  14

  “My God, Cate,“ James said. He had let himself in with his key.

  Neil and Cate had been sleeping, naked, on the sofa. They were still out cold when James walked in, despite morning sun shining brightly through the windows.

  “James!” Cate said as her weary eyes focused on her brother.

  “Look at you,” he said to his sister. “Wearing nothing but your wedding ring.”

  Cate was waking up quickly now, whether she liked it or not. She grabbed a sofa cushion and used it to cover herself as she reached for her clothes.

  “Easy, James,” Neil said. “This doesn’t concern you.“

  “Doesn’t concern me?“ James said, the volume of his voice escalating. “I’d say it does concern me when you’re taking advantage of my little sister. She’s a grieving widow, for God’s sake.“

  “James,“ Cate said. “I’m a grown woman and can make my own decisions. I appreciate you looking out for me, but I can handle myself.“

  James turned around to give his sister privacy while she dressed. “I don’t think you can handle yourself,” he said. “Not if you’re sleeping with Neil Fredericks. I don’t think you have any idea what you’ve gotten yourself into.“

 

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