by Anna Todd
“What was it, then?” I ask her.
She hands me the empty cup of water, and I refill it. “When she said that . . . about you and her,” she admits, her face twisted in anger.
“Oh.”
“Yeah. I should’ve punched her,” she huffs out.
“Yes, but I think knocking her to the ground and slamming her head against the floor worked pretty well, too, Ortiz.”
A small smile breaks from her lips, and she giggles. “I can’t believe I just did that.” She giggles again.
“You are so drunk.” I laugh.
“I am!” she agrees loudly. “Drunk enough to slam Molly’s head against the floor,” she says, laughing again.
“I think everyone enjoyed the show,” I tell her, snaking my arm around her waist.
“I hope no one is mad at me for causing a scene.” There’s my Tessa. Drunk as shit, yet still trying to be considerate of other people.
“No one is mad, baby. If anything, they’ll be thanking you. This is the kind of shit these frat kids live for,” I assure her.
“God, I hope not,” she says and looks momentarily grossed out.
“Don’t worry about it. Do you want to go find Steph?” I ask to distract her.
“Or we could do something else . . .” she says, hooking her fingers into the top of my jeans.
“You are never drinking vodka when I’m not around,” I tell her, teasing but so serious.
“Sure . . . now let’s go upstairs.” She leans up and plants a kiss on my jaw.
“You’re a bossy little thing, aren’t you?” I smile.
“You aren’t the only one who gets to be bossy all the time.” She laughs and grips the collar of my shirt, pulling me down to her height. “At least let me do something for you,” she purrs, nipping at my earlobe.
“You just got in a fight—your first fight, at that—and this is what you’re thinking?”
She nods. Then she says in a low, slow voice that makes my pants feel even tighter, “You know you want to, Hardin.”
“Okay . . . fuck . . . okay.” I give in.
“Well, that was easy.”
I grab her wrist and lead her upstairs.
“Has someone already taken over your old room?” she asks when we reach the second floor.
“Yeah, but there are plenty of empty rooms,” I tell her and open the door to one of them. The two small beds are covered with black comforters, and there are shoes in the closet. I don’t know whose room this is, but it’s ours now.
I lock the door and take a few steps to meet Tessa. “Unzip me,” she commands.
“Not wasting any time, I see—”
“Shut up and unzip my dress,” she snaps.
I shake my head in amusement, and she turns around and lifts her hair. My lips brush over the nape of her neck as I slide the zipper down her back. Goose bumps appear on her soft skin, and I follow them down her spine with my index finger. Shivering a little, she turns around, sliding down the sleeves of her dress. The whole thing drops to her feet, revealing the hot-pink lace bra and panties that I absolutely fucking love. I can tell by the smile on her face that she knows this.
“Leave your shoes on,” I practically beg.
She agrees with a smile and looks down at her shoes. “I want to do something for you first.” In a swift motion, she tugs at my jeans, but frowns when they don’t move. Her fingers quickly unbutton the fly front and she pulls them down. I step backward toward the bed, but she stops me.
“No, ew. Who knows who has done what on that thing.” She makes a disgusted face. “Floor,” she demands.
“I guarantee that floor is much dirtier than the bed,” I say. “Here, let me put my shirt down.” I pull my shirt over my head and lay it on the floor, then sit down on top of it. Tessa joins me, straddling me. Her mouth latches on to the skin on my neck, and she rolls her hips, pushing herself against me.
Fuck. “Tess . . .” I breathe. “I’m going to finish before you start if you keep doing that.”
She removes her lips from my neck. “What do you want me to do, Hardin? Do you want to fuck me or do you want me to bl—”
I cut her off with a kiss. I’m not wasting any time with foreplay. I want her—I need her—now. Within seconds, her panties lie on the floor next to her and I’m reaching for my jeans to grab a condom. I need to remind her about getting on birth control—I can’t stand using a condom with her. I want to feel her, all of her.
“Hardin . . . hurry up,” she begs and lies back on the floor, using her elbows to prop herself up, long hair trailing onto the floor behind her.
I crawl over to her, separate her thighs even farther with my knees, and move to slide into her. She loses balance on her elbows and falls back to the floor, grabbing on to my arms for leverage.
“No . . . I want to do it,” she says, pushing me onto the floor and climbing on top of me. She whines as she lowers herself onto me, and it’s the most delicious sound. Her hips roll slowly, circling, bouncing, torturing me. She covers her mouth with her hand, and her eyes roll back. When she rakes her nails down my stomach, I nearly lose it. I wrap my arm around her back and flip us over. I’ve had enough of her being in control—I can’t handle it.
“What—” she begins.
“I’m the one in charge—the one with the control. Don’t forget that, baby,” I groan and slam into her roughly, moving in and out at a much faster pace than she was torturing me with.
She nods feverishly and covers her mouth again.
“When . . . we get home . . . I’ll fuck you again, and you won’t be covering your mouth . . .” I threaten, bringing her leg up to my shoulder. “Everyone will be able to hear you. Hear what I’m doing to you, what only I can do to you.”
She moans again, and I place a kiss on her calf as she stiffens. I am close . . . too close, and I bury my head in her neck as I fill the condom. I rest my head on her chest until our breathing returns to normal.
“That was . . .” she breathes.
“Better than attacking Molly?” I laugh.
“I don’t know . . . at least a close second,” she teases and stands to get dressed.
chapter sixty
TESSA
Hardin helps me zip, up and I rake my fingers through my hair while he buttons his jeans. “What time is it?” I ask as he slides his shoes back on.
“Two minutes till midnight,” he answers, after looking at the alarm clock on the small desk.
“Oh . . . well, we need to hurry and get downstairs,” I tell him. I’m still beyond intoxicated, but now I’m relaxed and calm, thanks to Hardin. Drunk or not, I can’t believe what happened with Molly.
“Let’s go.” He takes my hand, and we nearly make it to the staircase before everyone begins chanting.
“Ten . . . nine . . . eight . . .”
Hardin rolls his eyes.
“Seven . . . six . . .”
“This is stupid,” Hardin complains.
“Five . . . four . . . three . . .” I begin chanting. “Do it with me,” I say.
He tries not to smile, but is defeated as a huge grin spreads across his face. “Two . . . one . . .” I poke his cheek with my finger.
“Happy New Year!” everyone screams, including me.
“Yay for the New Year,” Hardin says in a monotone voice, and I laugh as he presses his lips to mine. Part of me was worried that he wouldn’t kiss me here, in front of everyone, but he is now. As my hands travel to his waist he grabs them to stop me. When he pulls away, his emerald eyes are shining. He is so beautiful.
“Aren’t you worn out?” he jokes, and I shake my head.
“Don’t flatter yourself. I wasn’t coming onto you.” I smile. “I really need to pee.”
“Do you want me to come?”
“Nope. Be right back,” I say, giving him a small kiss before walking to the bathroom. I should have had him come along; this is much more difficult than it is when I’m sober. Tonight has been so fun, even with the Moll
y drama. Hardin has surprised me by being calm, even with Zed, and he’s remained in a good mood all night. After I wash my hands, I head back down the hall to find Hardin.
“Hardin!” a female voice calls.
I look over and see a familiar face: the girl with the black hair who bumped into me earlier. And she’s walking toward Hardin. Being the nosy girl that I am, I stay back a few feet.
“I have your phone, you left it in Logan’s room.” She smiles, pulling Hardin’s phone from her purse.
What? It’s nothing, I’m sure. They were in Logan’s room, which means most likely they were not alone. I trust him.
“Thanks.” He grabs the phone from her, and she begins to walk away. Thank God.
“Hey!” he calls after her.
“Can you do me a favor and maybe not mention to anyone that we were in Logan’s room together?” he asks.
“I never kiss and tell.” She grins and walks off.
The hallway begins to spin. My chest immediately aches, and I quickly head for the stairs. Hardin notices me rushing by, and I watch as the color drains from his face, knowing he’s been caught.
chapter sixty-one
HARDIN
I notice a flicker of gold a few feet away. I look past Jamie and see Tessa, whose eyes are wide and whose bottom lip starts trembling. She goes from deer in headlights to angry girlfriend quickly and takes off down the stairs fast.
What? “Tessa! Wait!” I yell after her. For someone as drunk as she is, she’s really flying down those steps. Why must she always run from me?
“Tess!” I shout again, pushing people out of my way.
Finally, when I’m only a few feet from her in the entryway, she does something that nearly brings me to my knees. The blond asshole who was checking her out earlier whistles as she rushes by. As she stops in her tracks, her look makes me freeze, too. Grinning, she grabs a handful of the kid’s shirt.
What the fuck is she doing? Is she going to . . .
She answers my thoughts by looking back at me before pressing her lips against his. I blink rapidly in an attempt to make this disappear. This isn’t happening. She wouldn’t do that, not Tessa, no matter how pissed off she is.
The kid, surprised by her sudden show of affection, quickly recovers and wraps his arms around her waist. Her mouth opens, and she moves one hand to his hair, tugging on it. I can’t comprehend what’s actually happening right now.
“Hardin! Stop!” she screams.
Stop what? When I blink again, I’m on top of the blond, and his lip is busted. I hit him already?
“Please, Hardin!” she screams again.
I climb off of him in a hurry before everyone crowds around us. “What the fuck?” the kid groans.
I want to kick him in his fucking head, but I’ve been trying to restrain myself. She had to go and fucking do this, mess up everything I’ve been working toward. I head for the door without bothering to see if she’s following me.
“Why did you hit him?” her voice calls from behind me as I reach my car.
“Why do you think, Tessa? Maybe because I just watched you fucking make out with him!” I scream. I almost forgot what it feels like, this adrenaline rush and the familiar sting on my knuckles. I only got one hit in . . . I think, at least . . . so it’s not so bad. But I want more.
She begins to cry. “Why do you care? You kissed that girl! Probably more than kissed! How could you?”
“No! You don’t get to fucking cry, Tessa. You just kissed someone right in front of me!” My hand connects with the hood of my car.
“You did worse! I heard you tell that girl to stay quiet about you two in Logan’s room!”
“You don’t even know what you’re talking about—I didn’t fucking kiss anyone!”
“Yes, you did! She said she doesn’t kiss and tell!” she screams, waving her arms around like an idiot. Fuck, she is infuriating.
“It’s a fucking figure of speech, Tessa. She meant she wasn’t going to tell anyone anything that we talked about—or that we were smoking pot!” I shout.
She gasps. “You were smoking pot?”
“No, I wasn’t, actually, but who gives a shit! You just fucking cheated on me!” I tug at my own hair.
“Why did you leave me to hang out with her, then tell her not to say anything? It doesn’t make any—”
“She’s Dan’s sister! I was telling her not to say anything because I was trying to apologize privately for what I did to her. I was going to tell you tomorrow when you weren’t fucking belligerent! We were all in the room, me, her, Logan, and Nate. They were smoking a joint, and when they left I asked her to stay behind because I wanted to try to make shit right with her, for you.” All my anger comes out through my eyes, I’m certain, when I say, “I wouldn’t fucking cheat on you—you should know that!”
And like that, Tessa deflates. She’s speechless. Damn right she is. She’s fucking wrong, and I am fucking mad.
“Well . . .” she begins.
“Well what? You’re wrong, not me. You didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. Instead you acted like a child. An impulsive little child!” I scream, punching the hood again. She jumps from the noise, but I don’t give a shit.
I should just go back inside, find the blond guy, and finish what I started. Punching my car doesn’t give me the same satisfaction.
“I’m not a child! I thought you did something with her!” she shouts back at me through her tears.
“Well, I didn’t! After everything I went through to get you to stay with me, do you think I’d cheat on you with a random chick at a party . . . or hell, with anyone?”
“I didn’t know what to think.” She throws her hands into the air again. I run my fingers through my hair, trying to calm myself.
“Well, that’s on you, then. I don’t know what the hell else to do to make you see that I love you.” She kissed someone—she kissed another guy right in front of me. This feels worse than when she left me; at least I could blame myself then.
Her warm breath is creating puffs of smoke in the cold air. “Well, maybe if I wasn’t so used to you keeping secrets, I wouldn’t have been so ready to misunderstand!” she yells.
I look at her. “You’re unbelievable. I honestly cannot even look at you right now.” The image of her kissing him won’t stop playing over and over.
“I’m sorry for kissing him.” She sighs. “It isn’t that big of a deal.”
“You’re joking, right? Please tell me that you are, because if that had been me kissing someone else, you probably wouldn’t have spoken to me again! But I forgot that since it’s Princess Tessa, it’s okay! No harm done!” I mock.
She crosses her arms with an indignation she doesn’t deserve. “Princess Tessa? Really, Hardin?”
“Yeah, really! You cheated on me, right in front of me! I brought you here so you would know how much I care about you. I wanted you to know that I don’t care what anyone thinks about us. I wanted you to have the best night you could have, and then you go and do this shit!”
“Hardin . . . I . . .”
“No! I’m not done.” I pull out my keys. “You’re acting as if this is no big deal! This is a huge deal to me. To see another man’s lips on yours . . . is . . . I can’t even explain how sick that makes me.”
“I said—”
I lose it. I know I look wild and scary, but I can’t help it. “Stop interrupting me for once in your goddamn life!” I shout. “You know what . . . it’s fine. You can go back in there and ask your new boyfriend to give you a ride home.” I turn and unlock the car door. “He looks a lot like Noah, and you probably miss him.”
“What? What does Noah have to do with this? And I clearly do not have a type,” she growls and gestures at me. “Though maybe I should.”
“Fuck this,” I spit and climb into the car, turning it on and leaving her standing out in the cold. When I get to the stop sign, I can’t help but hit the steering wheel over and over.
If she doesn’
t call me within an hour, I’ll know she went home with someone else.
chapter sixty-two
TESSA
Ten minutes later I’m still standing on the sidewalk. My legs and arms are numb, and I’m shivering. Hardin will come back any minute, there’s no way he’ll actually leave me here, alone. Drunk and alone.
When I go to call him, I remember that he has my phone. Great.
What the hell was I thinking? I wasn’t thinking, that’s the problem. We were doing so good, and I didn’t even try to give him the benefit of the doubt. Instead I kissed someone. The memory makes me want to vomit on the sidewalk.
Why hasn’t he come back yet?
I need to go inside. It’s way too cold out here, and I want another drink. My buzz is starting to wear off, and I’m not ready to face reality. When I get inside, I head directly for the kitchen and pour myself a drink. This is why I shouldn’t drink—I have no common sense when I’m drunk. I immediately assumed the worst of him and made a huge mistake.
“Tessa?” Zed’s voice says from behind me.
“Hey.” I groan and lift my head up from the cool counter and turn to face him.
“Um . . . what are you doing?” He half laughs. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah . . . I’m okay,” I lie.
“Where’s Hardin?”
“He left.”
“He left? Without you?”
“Yep.” I take a drink from my cup.
“Why?”
“Because I’m an idiot,” I answer honestly.
“I doubt that.” He smiles.
“No, really, I am this time.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, not really.” I sigh.
“Okay . . . well, I’ll leave you alone,” he says and begins to walk away. But then he turns back around. “It’s not supposed to be so complicated, you know?”
“What?” I ask him and follow him to sit at a card table in the kitchen.
“Love, relationships, all that. It doesn’t have to be so hard.”
“Doesn’t it, though? Isn’t it always like this?” I have no reference except Noah. We never fought like this, but I don’t know that I loved him. Not like I do Hardin. I dump my drink down the sink and grab a glass to fill with water.